Look away, I’m hideous
It never dawned on me that you were such a nice bunch of people. Here I've been parading around as a ghastly, ghastly man and no one even mentioned it. Except for one or two comments from Weasel. And maybe a passing slam from Mainetarr and one or two from AO. And now that I think of it, Jarhead may have mentioned I look like Don Knotts after an industrial accident. And Linda might have said something about my face and a dog's ass. And Treehugger with that line about how my nose must have its own gravity…
Now that I think of it, you're all mean bastards. But who can blame you? I'm a horribly disfigured writer who looks like Karl Malden on a heroin bender. Or Pee Wee Herman after his face was sucked into a vacuum cleaner. But I'll leave the rest to you.
Above is the caricature done of me to announce the new b section of the newspaper. All things considered, I think it's better than the last one, shown here. When that one was revealed, one of you wits suggested I looked like an elderly Italian goat farmer. You really are mean bastards, you know.
