Badonkadonk
Isn’t Amazon great? Without getting dressed, you can order some of those transexual romance novels you like so much, buy a flame resistant suit, pick out an MP3 player and plenty of John Denver to upload onto it, get a fresh Tai Bo workout tape, and order another Farrah Fawcett poster to replace the faded one above your computer. Or Sean Cassidy, depending on your proclivities.
And now, because Amazon knows that your neighbors are out to get you, there’s a personal armored tank that you absolutely must have. Order this sucker today, and by tomorrow, you’ll be cranking tunes at 2 a.m. and daring your traiterous neighbors to do something about it.
Remember that 1984 movie “Tank,” with James Garner and C. Thomas Howell? Yes, you can be that cool. Here’s how the bad ass Badonkadonk is described on the Amazon page:
The JL421 Badonkadonk is a completely unique, extremely rare land vehicle and battle tank. Designed with versatility in mind, the Donk can transport cargo or a crew of five internally or on the roof, and can be piloted from within the armored shell or from an exposed standing position through the hatch, thanks to special one-way steel mesh armor windows and a control stick that pivots up and down to allow piloting from the standing or seated positions. The interior is fully carpeted and cozy, with accent lighting and room for up to five people. A 400 watt premium sound system with PA is mounted to project sound both into the cabin and outward from behind the windows. The exterior is a steel shell with a rust patina, and features head and tail lights, turn signal lights, trim lighting, underbody lighting, fixed slats protecting the windows, and a unique industrial-strength rubberized flexible skirt that shields and protects the wheels to within an inch of the ground, while still allowing for enough flex to give clearance over bumpy and uneven terrain. Master power, ignition, all lighting, and stereo features are controlled from a single switchboard to the left of the driver, again accessible from either the seated or standing position. Standard drive is an air-cooled, 6hp Tecumseh gasoline (unleaded only) engine, with centrifugal clutch, giving the Donk a top speed of 40 mph. This vehicle is not licensed for use on public roads, and is intended as a recreational vehicle only. Badonkadonks are produced on an order-by-order basis, with each one having it’s own unique set of features. With your order is included unlimited consultations with the designer and manufacturer concerning all relevant options (a representative from NAO will contact you shortly after your order). Price does not include shipping and handling.
