The horror. The horror.

March 27, 2006 at 1:20 am (Uncategorized)

Day three. Earlier, I left the relative safety of the shelter to wander out into this new world of night. Out there, where oily black clouds block out the sun and the stench of ruin is thick, I wandered to the remains of The Lost ApocalypseSole.  There are no remains. All is lost. Not a single wall stands. No bones poke from the rubble to indicate a form of humanity once existed there. The hellish pit that was Street Talk has been blasted to oblivion.

Still, in the smoldering landscape of the world that remains, wanderers pass through this unhappy valley like a legion of walking dead. They bear the dazed expressions of those who believe they are dreaming. There are jagged wounds and missing parts. There are hands that tremble with rage and hands that tremble with fear. There is shock and sadness. Mostly, there is a will to battle forth.

So, I've always wanted to write an apocalyptic tale. Scattered survivors shuffling through a damned world, without sunlight or hope. Frightening, dismal crap like that. The Stand, maybe. Or Escape from New York. But I'll refrain so we can get back to talking about animal sex, outhouse mishaps and stupid criminals.

 bombshelterPub.jpgBut first, a head count. So far today, a number of survivors have stumbled in to the shelter. Fred, Bobbie, AO, Mainetarr, Gil, K2, Flamette… There's enough food here to last us a few weeks and a good supply of booze. We're building up our cache of weapons too, because you just never know when the next scavenger will come by. You never know when vermin from the old world will come by.

We're keeping our eyes out for the rest of you. All are welcome here. My name is Pliskin. But you can call me Snake. snake-plissken.jpg

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90 Comments

  1. Martha said,

    I’M A SURVIVOR!!!!! Hey, be careful how casually you throw open the door.. NOT ALL are welcome here… But I’m in.. and I brought my chef’s apron.. now we can eat… But I’ll keep the poison handy in case any of that VERMIN chances to wander in.

  2. Martha said,

    Mark, I have you in my bookmarks at work.. I’ll have to add to favorites at home.

  3. A.O. said,

    Boy, Martha, You don’t know how happy I am to see you. You’re gonna cook? Do you know how many times Mark’s regulated the food duties to me? Just do me a favor. Don’t tell him that my store survived the blast. He’ll have me on food duty again. Glad to see you’re one of the survivors!

  4. K2 said,

    ‘Escape From New York’? You’re not in a ‘New York State of Mind’? Well, ‘New York’s Not My Home.’

    That’s all I got.

    In 5th grade, a friend and I used to pretend we were in a post-apocalyptic world. But he took Snake Pliskin’s name, that bastard. I don’t even remember who I called myself. Good times, though, running through stream beds in the wooded country, killing imaginary mutants.

    But mutants are people too. Or at least they used to be people. I think. Cripes, never mind.

  5. Martha said,

    LOL AO.. as long as I don’t have a day in the kitchen like I had Saturday, I’m sure there will be no complaints about the culinary offerings.. Just, if I’m gonna cook, someone else is going to have to do the dishes.

  6. A.O. said,

    We’ll let all the guy’s do the dishes. Heck, if they can hunt down mutants then, they can sure as hell do the dishes.

  7. A.O. said,

    Hey, K2, Orange you glad I said banana?

  8. Martha said,

    I just came from wandering by the old location.. I found the Lost Sole sign.. Do we want to post it over the door?

  9. A.O. said,

    All the blogs at the SJ site have been shut down. Wonder what Dan’s going to do now? He won’t have his precious Our View to carp in. Guess he finally got the ultimate punishment.

  10. Robert said,

    Dan will obviously pass the buck to someone else, claiming it was only Weasel’s fault. Glad to see we have another safe haven to turn to.

  11. brenda/ lost shoe said,

    I always knew I’d be “left behind” if the world ended!

    thanks for inviting me in……

  12. Fred said,

    They even shut down Sun Spots! Somebody down there must really be pissed off! LOL

  13. A.O. said,

    Brenda, Who said you’ve been left behind? Come on in!!

    Hey, Fred. Welcome back!

  14. Martha said,

    LOL.. Is this what you call over reacting?

  15. Martha said,

    Omellettes and home fries are on the grill.. Who’s ready for breakfast? Fresh OJ and coffee is poured.

  16. Robert said,

    Maybe I should have comp[lained last month when Dan posted my home address in the blog….

  17. Bobbie said,

    You should have and we could have gotten him banned. Don’t you read those privacy statement thingys?

  18. Martha said,

    Actually, I think we just need to irradicate his name from our conversation. LOL.. Not a good subject ot aid the digestion.

  19. Bobbie said,

    If you say no, don’t feel bad.

  20. A.O. said,

    I’m starving. I’m ready!

    Robert, Where did he post it? Do you remember?

  21. K2 said,

    Yeah, A.O., I just saw that they’re all gone. Eric is obvioulsy very upset. I still believe he’s a good guy, though. Everybody has their limits. He’s obvioulsy reached his. I really don’t know enough about what went on behind the scenes to speculate any further. Maybe in time, cooler heads will prevail.

    And I have to admit, Our View got totally lame since Farmer left (or was forced out?). At least he hit people’s nerves, unlike the recent watching-the-grass-grow editorials. Gil and I had no grounds for fights anymore. It was terrible. And sad.

    Did I mention that I think Judy Meyers is the anti-Christ? Let it be noted.

    And no more Huddle Up? So I said Patriots fans were spoiled brats. No reason to shut the thing down. Talk about fickle. Poor Randy. What will he do without our mindless blather? Probably eat and sleep better, I guess.

    But the loss of Sun Spots is a most bitter defeat, indeed. How am I going to find that one-in-a-million Ukranian egg now? The dream is over.

  22. Robert said,

    A.O…It was posted in the Our View stuff when I first started blogging about 6 weeks or so ago…He specifically mentioned never being invited to my “home on Albert Street” as there’s only about 14 houses on the dead end, it would not take a rocket scientist to figure out who I was, particularly when in another post he mentions my son and his blog on the following the freshman..at that point anyone could look for my last name and use a Phone Book to find someone with a matching name on Albert Street…go figure. I wish I could go back into Our View and find the original posting, but I guarentee its not very far back.

    Bobbie…Those privacy thingy’s, nah, they are all the same LOL..its a code of cunduct you agree to, so when he posted my address I figured I have nothing to hide, whats the big deal. Okay so now I know.

    I say we invite him in here but give him read only acess to just irritate the heck out of him. Can’t wait till the next family function to see if he will show.

  23. Bobbie said,

    We’ll go back to apersonal favorite of mine for him-HWWNBN. Sound better?

  24. K2 said,

    And a courteous hello to Bobbie, Fred, Martha and Brenda. Four Flaming Homers on me, bartender. Well, hopefully not ON me. That would be bad.

    And A.O., I’m plum out of comebacks. Sorry.

  25. K2 said,

    Robert, you’re somehow related to Dan?!? The horror!

  26. A.O. said,

    K2: I’m truly sorry about the egg. SNIFF! And, maybe when Mainetarr and I catch up with you at Fastbreaks, we can fill you in on all the happenings. I too feel badly for Randy. I really enjoyed his blog.

    Robert: Too bad you didn’t complain to Eric when Dan posted all of your personl info. Oh, well! We can all hang out in here instead. Sorry about having to go to that family reunion. Hope he shows though. Then you can give him an ear full!

  27. A.O. said,

    K2, No comebacks? That’s just a bunch of sour grapes!

  28. K2 said,

    I thionk grapes lack the appeal of a banana. Face it, you and I make a bad pear. You’re seedy, too. Oh wait, Quincy is on, gotta run. . . .

  29. Robert said,

    K2 – He whome we shall not mention by name is my wife’s uncle…nothing I can do about that one!

    You are all correct I should have complained but at the time I felt like it was harmless fun and as a newbie on the blogs was not aware of his rants and complaining, otherwise I would have been happy to bag him on that topic.

    I guess we all know why he was nowhere to comment during the past week, hiing or gloating or both assumedly.

  30. Bobbie said,

    Robert,
    I learned real quick about the privacy agreement when I worked as a customer rep for a large company that specializes in learning cd’s for your computer. That’s how they’d nail people and force them to keep things that they really didn’t want.

  31. A.O. said,

    Oh, Quincy. That’s a peachy keen show. But, it can sometimes be the pit’s.

    Robert, Don’t worry about not complaining. You’ve got enough problems with him being related to you by marriage. I wonder, how does your wife feel about him?

  32. K2 said,

    Yeah, at least he’s not a blood relative, Robert. Your poor, poor wife. I weep for her.

    By the way, with no Huddle Up, how will we know how badly Whitehouse hammers Mark, regrading Villinova’s crushing defeat last night?

  33. A.O. said,

    Guess we’ll just have to find out from Mark himself. But, I doubt he be very forthcoming about it all!

  34. Bobbie said,

    Ask Randy. You’ve got his e-mail address.

  35. Robert said,

    My wife spent little or no time thinking about her uncle, they are not close, and when I showed her some of what he posted she was highly insulted. My guess is we’ll see little or none of him in the future, don’t think he’ll raise his ugly scraggly bearded face out of his rat hole.

  36. A.O. said,

    Robert, Now that we’re all out of St. Talk, you’ll have to give us all the low down on HWWNBN.

  37. Bobbie said,

    Robert,
    Sent you an e-mail.

  38. Robert said,

    Hmmmm…where to begin….I’m not gonna say anyone received any “aid” as perhaps as of today he does not. What I want to make very clear is that there are many types of aid, so when SOMEONE says he does not receive any aid from the state he could be technically correct, as programs such as SSI (disability) are federal and Section 8 type programs are run by the city albeit with federal and state dollars. THis is perfect democratic rhetoric otherwise known as plausible deniability, just like Bill Clinton’s famous “I did not have SEXUAL relations with that girl”.

    No one seemed to be able to read between the lines when I originally posted this in LSJ, nor did they ask if he received aid from sources other than the state – course he may have denied that as well.

  39. A.O. said,

    Oh, I read between the lines Robert! I caught on to what you were writing. And, might I say, you did a pretty good job at it! You grew up real good, Little Bobbie!

  40. Robert said,

    Ouch, now you know darned well that the only ones who could call me Bobby were my grandmother and my mom, course when my mom was mad it was Robert Arthur! Yikes I can still hear those words clearly…

    It really is a small world! Hope all is well with your family.

  41. A.O. said,

    They are. Hope your’s is also.

  42. Mainetarr said,

    Robert Arthur….hee hee. Arthur….hee hee

    I knew that fat bastard got assistance. Why would anyone pay to live in that shithole he calls an apartment?!?

  43. Robert said,

    Isn’t this where I get belligerent and demand an apology for making fun of my name….but enough of the negativity, lets talk about what really matters….who’s buying drinks? I need a double!

  44. Robert said,

    Lets see, we’ve got a weasel, a rat and now a snake…sounds like a punchline to a really bad joke…

    Mark, feel free to start a new subject, the past month’s have been excellent, dont stop now!

  45. Mainetarr said,

    I am so (hee hee) sorry I made fun of your name (hee hee) Arthur, uh Robert…sniff…giggle. I must try to keep it together….

  46. Robert said,

    FYI, I wrote to Eric to express my thoughts on the closing of the blog…here’s what I got back…

    Thanks for your email Bob. We are revaluating things and hope to bring it back at some point. As far as what goes on in the blogs, I have no clue. I only know what gets to me via the “Suggest Removal” link. Things got out of hand when members starting publishing Dan’s home address. That puts the Sun Journal is really dangerous situation legally.

    Thanks again. Have a great day.

  47. LaFlamme said,

    I DO feel bad about Huddle Up. Whitehouse had a good thing going there. Maybe they’ll start to bring the blogs back slowly. Who knows? In the meantime, everyone is welcome here.

  48. Bobbie said,

    Robert,
    You got a nicer letter from Eric than I did about the blogs. I was nice when I e-mailed him….all I got back was, interesting, to say the least.

    I know what you mean about your name, Robert. I just have the reverse problem. LOL
    I knew that I was in trouble when the real name and the middle name came out. There are very few people in the world who are allowed to call me by my real name. LOL

  49. Treehugger said,

    Maybe they ought to have a webmaster with some balls. Dan exposed himself by providing TMI to a guy that knows how to work a computer.

  50. LaFlamme said,

    Treehugger! We thought you were lost in the fallout!

  51. Bobbie said,

    Glad to see you back, Treehugger!

  52. Richie said,

    He had known all along that someday would come the final countdown. Words or gestures exchanged, values flouted, untamed aggression would leap forth; and all around nought but this burning and decaying shambles. The tortured grimaces of the dead and dieing, in the distance the screams of victims being torn apart by the zombies. Why was he still alive ? Gods’ Will he supposed. It was one of those things. To the east he saw what appeared to be a glimmer of light. Hmm, what was that ? Other survivors ? Well, he had to get moving before the Dans or other night crawlers got his scent. Let’s see; hmm, no weapons, no food, no water ? Yup. One chance and one chance only. Have to make a run & hope the survivors will let him in.

    Quickly moving from cover to cover he made good time. He knew, though, it would only be a matter of time. He kept getting glimpses of something large, hairy, and (when downwind) smelly. No, not the Weasel; who for such a large being was always well-groomed & meticulous about his pelt; no, this had to be . . . Dan.

    It was sad; he hoped that others might have survived the destruction; but, no time to spare; gotta get moving ! Mouth as dry as the ashy wasteland all around; muscles screaming in agony, lungs labouring to take in another breath, pounding feet raising clouds of dust at every step; he ran towards the light.

    Not much further, now, but . . . . no ! The Dan was running now; seeing it’s target in the open and sensing a chance; it was coming on at a fast pace. Yes ! Soon he would taste Richies flesh ! Slavering and drooling, Dan sped up; claws reaching, tearing at Richies shirt . . . . teeth gnashing in insensate lust . . . WHAP ! Dan falls to the ground stunned into immobility. A force field ! Saved by an invisible barrier to keep out the Dan creatures and other such Trolls ! Safe, safe at last; Richie passes the last obstacle and falls into the Bomb Shelter Pub.

  53. LaFlamme said,

    Yow, man. Deep and dark.

  54. Richie said,

    Nah; I just read way too much Sci-Fi.

    “Farnhams Freehold” – Robert Heinlein
    “Lucifers Hammer” – Larry Niven / Jerry Pournelle
    “A canticle for Liebowitz” – Walter Miller

    Just to name a few off the top of my head. 40 years of collecting; you should see my library.

  55. A.O. said,

    Good thing you fell into the pub. Sounds like you could use a drinK.

  56. Bobbie said,

    Set him up, bar keep. What are you having today, Richie?

  57. Richie said,

    Richie regains conciousness. Well, he thnks, I made it. I’m not dead, and I don’t appear to be a captive. Hope these people are friendly . . .

    Opening his eyes he beholds A.O. peering at him anxiously.
    “Yes, you made it !” she says. “You’re just in time for Happy Hour; what’ll it be ?”

    “Whatever ya got; make it cold, make it wet, and pour it in a tall glass; and I’ll be a happy boy !” Richies replies.

    Making his way to a corner booth Richie collapses into a comfy seat. Yah, I think I’m gonna be all right here !

  58. A.O. said,

    You’ll be alright here. Just keep an eye out for HWWNBN! I’m pouring. Free drinks for everyone!! Tomorrow, that is.

  59. Richie said,

    Well, as long as we have power to the Force Field; the Trolls & other such creatures can’t get in. Of course, like any good monster, or zombie, The Dan will be always skulking around looking to take donw victims.

    Survivors must always be on their guard !!

  60. A.O. said,

    I have a very strong feeling that The Dan is lurking in the shadows of The Lost Sole. So, be on your guard.

  61. Treehugger said,

    Beenbusy doing triage.

  62. Robert said,

    Bobbie, I know what you mean about the name..when I was in 9th grade at Walton in Auburn, I got called to the principles office to ask why I wasn’t in gym class for the first month. I answered I was there and they informed me that MS. so and so had me listed as absent…With my quick wits about me, I explained there might be a typo from Robert A. To Roberta, but that I’d be more than happy to take ladies gym for obvious reasons I cannot express here.

  63. Bulldog said,

    Tithugger! myuh! missed you long time….

    Robert/Booby/Bobby/Robert Arthur *chuckle*snort* – glad you’re here to fill us in on all the poop on HWWNBN. He’ll find us, sooner or later. I hope it’s sooner. Who is he gonna cry to then? Mark? *laughing hysterically* *snort*

    I’m thirsty and hungry. Is the kitchen open? Martha? Barkeep- give me a double and keep it filled.

    Richie, dude, deep man- really deep. Or weird. Either way, you fit in fine with all the lost soles in this place.

  64. A.O. said,

    Bulldog!! Long time no hear. Do ya want your crown back? I took over as Queen Bitch since you were not around. Feeling better?

  65. LaFlamme said,

    Let there be lewdness.
    Hey, what do you all suppose Dan is doing today, now that there’s no place for him to spew?

  66. A.O. said,

    He’s lurking in the background. Watching every word we type. Either that or, he’s gone over to his Mommies to cry,

  67. Bulldog said,

    Dan’s probably whacking off with all of K2’s old playboys and crying because the pages are already stuck together.

  68. K2 said,

    Hey, those were my dad’s Playboys.

    And yes, I once beat off to the naked shots of Dana Plato. I think maybe even to Reagan’s daughter. Yeah, she was in there, too. Cripes, I was a frisky (and lonely) kid.

  69. Martha said,

    WOW!!! Look at all the hungry people… What will it be? Keep is simple.. rations are a little low right now. Who’s going to brave the Dan’s to go for supplies?

    Robert.. speaking of names… when my mom called me Martha I mostly listened.
    when she said Martha Rebecca, I listed considerably closer… When she said
    MARTHA REBECCA POWELL!!!!! I knew I hadn’t listened well enough… LOL

  70. LaFlamme said,

    Wow. Looks like we’re the only vampires around here, Martha. Good to see you.

  71. Martha said,

    Thank you Mark.. These are my normal hours. I start work at 2 a.m…. LOL .. does the rest of the crew go hungry while I’m sleeping from 2-11 pm?

  72. Robert said,

    Ah, Martha, I know you well, my mom was the same way…by the time they get to all three names you know you are in a world of trouble….and at that point the gig is up, start confessing and beg for mercy!

    For those of you who are missing Dan the Man, TIA, etc, perhaps we should invite them here, I mean it was lots of fun slamming him and making him into the complete buffoon he was, why stop now? Here we are with a place where he would have no one to compain to – what a perfect opportunity to drive him insane and let him see our true thoughts about him. Not having him here to read our comments kind of takes the fun out of it!

  73. K2 said,

    I’ve got 10 bucks says he’s visiting this site. Any takers?

  74. LaFlamme said,

    Dan has been invited. I still maintain that we should never try to keep anybody out.

  75. K2 said,

    It’s your party and you can invite Dan if you want to, invite Dan if you want to, invite Dan if you want to. . . .

  76. Mainetarr said,

    Yeah, you fat bastard, I can feel you lurking around reading the posts. Chicken shit…doesn’t dare to post anything. Just reading, I am sure. Some day the big, nappy, fat freak will come out of hiding, but until then he will be reading and whacking off.

  77. LaFlamme said,

    Brenda was looking for us in the Blogspot blog. I posted over there and gave her directions to this place. It’s like spray painting the sides of barns after an apocalypse to let others know where you’ve gone.
    Okay. I’ll stop using the word apocolypse.

  78. Blumpkin said,

    Don’t forget ‘Road Warrior’. Humungus (Weasel) was the balls and he didn’t take shit from anyone. Dan would have been that toolbox douchebag who tried to catch the razor-sharp boomerang. To bad Dan didn’t try to catch it in the teeth. Mark L. would have been the Gyro captain and Chunder would have been the Feral boy. AO, MT, and Bulldog would have provided vital defense of the gas refinery and K2 could have been Max. (revered,despised, and vital all at the same time). The Blumpkin would have watched from a safe distance then defecated on the remains of whomever suffered defeat. PS – Mad Max III sucked. That is all.

  79. K2 said,

    Don’ stop using it on my account. ‘Apocalypse’ has a nice ring to it. And the colors. . . .

    Blumpkin, I’d rather be Josey Wales. He was all those things too, you know. Weasel is Captain Red Legs, for sure. LaFlamme is the Chief. Treehugger is the Senator. (“They were decently clothed, they were decently fed, and they were decently shot.”) Chunder is Ten Bears (“There is iron in your words.). Dan is the snake-oil salesman, dung-stained suit and all, you and Richie are the bounty hunters (“A man’s got to make a living somehow these days.”) Bobbie is the wiley Grandma, A.O. is that Sandra Locke fruitcake, Bulldog is the Rose of Alabami, Mainetarr is, well, I’m out of female characters. all right, she’s one of those ruthless Comanches. Sounds about right.

  80. Blumpkin said,

    Very nice. I’m flattered. Classic movie. All time favorite Western character is a tie. Josey W. and Swearingin from ‘Deadwood’.

  81. K2 said,

    *hanging head in shame*

    I’ve never seen Deadwood. Never even heard of it. Please, don’t hit me.

  82. Blumpkin said,

    HBO series. season 1 and 2 out on DVD now. Brutal and addicting

  83. A.O. said,

    K2, I’m the Sandra Locke fruitcake? Sheesh!! That’s the thanks I get for saying banana?

  84. K2 said,

    Well, I do get to bang you in the movie. Plus, she’s blond and attractive.

    No, no, had I remembered her character’s name, I would’ve left out the Sandra Locke fruitcake part. I honestly meant Sondra Locke is a fruitcake, not the character. If I have offended thee, then a thousand pardons. I can see how it could be read less than favorably. Mea culpa.

    Gee, I’m making friends fast. . . .

  85. Bobbie said,

    Now I have to see that movie again. Then we can discuss if you’re continuing to make “friends” or not, K2. lol

    I guess that I could be called worse things than wiley, huh? I’ll take it as the compliment it was intended to be. And if it was meant any other way, please, let me live in my delusional world just a bit longer, ok? LOL

  86. K2 said,

    Yes, Bobbie, give the Outlaw Josey Wales another viewing. I think you’ll find the grandmother to you liking. Anyhow, it’s my favorite movie of all time, no doubt.

  87. A.O. said,

    You are forgiven, K2. Not that I was mad in the first place. I think Clint Eastwood got to “bang” anybody he wanted. Probably still does. Even at his age.

  88. Robert said,

    How can you think Clint Eastwood and not think Dirty Harry, the older those movies become, the more our society could use a man like that around.

    So I know you’re thinking did I fire 5 shots or six? Being that this is a 44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun around, I’d advise you count carefully before making your next move.

    God, in the 70’s no problem with 6 shots…now, it would take way too long and I’m too tired!

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