Oral exam

March 29, 2006 at 4:15 am (Uncategorized)

It's late and I've been up all night doing mindless computer stuff. No, not that stuff, actual work and research. My eyes are somewhat dripping out of my head. Instead of trying to write something semi-literate, I'm attaching the following story and leaving it up to you to figure out which blogger sent it and insisted I post it.

As an aside to this story, does anyone remember where they first heard about the mechanics of sex? I had an older brother who embellished the facts with wild lies just to mess me up. That explains a lot, doesn't it?

sstoneap.jpgActress Sharon Stone is adamant teenagers should be prepared to engage in oral sex, if it saves from them the dangers of unprotected penetrative sex. The Basic Instinct star spends much of her time away from Hollywood working as an activist raising AIDS awareness, and she always carries condoms with her to hand out in a bid to increase safe sex levels.

She explains, "I was in the store the other day and I watched a young girl trying on clothes, showing her abdomen. "Her mother was trying to talk to her about not being inappropriately luring. I said, 'Gee that would look much nicer with a camisole under.' "Her mother walked away, and I said to the girl, 'I'd like to give you a two-minute conversation about sex.' "Young people talk to me about what to do if they're being pressed for sex? I tell them (what I believe): oral sex is a hundred times safer than vaginal or anal sex. "If you're in a situation where you cannot get out of sex, offer a blow job. I'm not embarrassed to tell them."

Advertisements

40 Comments

  1. Martha said,

    “A situation where you can’t get out of sex.”… HMMMMMM.. last time I checked that was called rape….Besides.. why would I want that thing in my mouth… YUCK!!!!! disgusting.

  2. Mainetarr said,

    Boy, she’s a real role model, isn’t she. If that idiot ever said anything like that to a kiid in my presence, someone had better be calling 911 because she would be having oral sex with my fist. Why do the celebritys’ keep running their mouths about how they feel the rest of the world should live? Do they not realize that Hollywood lives in a bubble and no one outside of that bubble gives a crap about what these morons think? If they aren’t spewing about politics, it’s this. They just need to shut up. And Sharon Stone needs a good swift kick in her asshat.

  3. Bulldog said,

    If Sharon Stone ever gave my kid a condom, I think I’d shove it in her mouth and tell her “choke on that Bitch!” … then I’d get it back from her and sell it on Ebay (hey, gotta make a living somehow)

  4. Bulldog said,

    As for your question on remembering where I learned the mechanics of sex: I ain’t going there. Just remembering where I learned it gives me the heebee-geebies!

  5. Robert said,

    Nancy Reagan had it best with her “Just Say No’ campaign. While it was meant to be a drug resistance campaign it really applies to anything. Martah got it right, being pressed for sex is nothing more than date rape or rape.

    Perhaps Ms. Stone does not feel that oral sex is rape? Not sure I want to tackle that one this early in the morning but somehow Bill Clinton must be smiling, knowing his penchance for “not having sexual relations with that woman”. Funny how those seem to tie in to what Ms. Stone is saying.

  6. K2 said,

    Well, on thing’s for sure: blow jobs really suck.

    Sharon Stone is koo koo for Cocoa Puffs. But she’s hot, so I tolerate her.

  7. Martha said,

    It really burns me how someone like that thinks they have any business tellng another persons’ child how to behave. Believe it or not, some parents still think it is appropriate to teach their children to behave morally. You notice, she waited till the mother walked away to interfere. Somehow that doesn’t surprise me. Just because she has no morals, doesn’t mean she should assume others should behave according to her standards, or lack thereof.

  8. A.O. said,

    Sharon Stone obvioulsy has no children of her own. If she did, I’d bet she’d bitch slap a total stranger who started have a sex talk with her child. I know I would.

  9. K2 said,

    Or as my dad is fond of saying: the check is in your mouth and I won’t come in your mailbox.

  10. Robert said,

    Darn K2 that just took too much head scratching this early in the morning….

  11. K2 said,

    As for the fake A.O. incident yesterday, it turns our it was our own Mainetarr, that ‘devious wench.’ Of course, I say that lovingly. Cripes, she’s an inch taller than me. I’m not about to take another one of her beatings if I can help it. Although, she punches with such passion, it really speaks to my masochistic side.

    A.O. and MT, I had a good time last night. I hope you guys didn’t get in trouble for being late. If you’re not grounded, maybe we can do it again sometime.

  12. K2 said,

    Head scratching, ball scratching . . . it’s all good.

    Confucius say: Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

  13. Bobbie said,

    I think Sharon Stone has spent too much time on the casting couch.

  14. Robert said,

    Sharon stone makes a movie like Basic Instinct and then tells the rest of the world how to behave? What more can I add to prove the this leftist group just loves to hear themselves talk and doesn’t know when to shut up!

    Although in defense of Sharon Stone, I’ve got to say if I meet her, I’ll know exactly what to say…..

  15. Bobbie said,

    And that would be?

  16. Robert said,

    Ha, I’m not one to kiss and tell you silly girl….

  17. A.O. said,

    ME?? Grounded?? Ha! Not in a million years. I had a great time last night. It was so good to finally meet you K2. And, those wings are just wrong. I still say they look like little aliens. They’d have to pay me to eat them.

  18. Mainetarr said,

    Not grounded but Chris was preparing to send out a search party, ha! AO giggled all the way home, that wino. Freaking nut….made me laugh, too. I did have fun and thanks K2. And thank you too, AO, my partner in crime.

  19. A.O. said,

    I’m still giggling! Thanks to the two of you! I swear, I thought I was going to pee my pants, I was laughing so hard. Was there anything the three of us didn’t cover last night? It was fun. I think I may have had too much fun, though!

  20. Robert said,

    Anyone notice that Our View is back on the LSJ website….but no comments from Dan!

  21. Robert said,

    Looks like I’ve got to make it to one of these social events or just invite everyone over to the house for a BBQ and relaxin in the hot tub!

  22. A.O. said,

    You’ve got to, Robert. You don’t know what you’re missing! And, yes, I noticed that Our View was back up. Still no sign of the Fat, nappy one.

  23. Martha said,

    Robert, at one point I suggested a Lost Sole picnic when I come up next summer.. (summer 2007).. Are you saying you’ll offer to host? I mean, I realize the rest of you don’t have to wait for that to have a bbq, but I’m hoping for a get together while I’m up there. I have to come up next summer.. its my EL 35th class reunion.

  24. Robert said,

    Martha,

    I’m thinking maybe a big backyard BBQ could be a lot of fun, heck I’d even invite my wife’s Uncle Dan if we need a pig to roast. Lets try to plan something for summer 2007!. But Martha, 35th reunion, I never would have guessed! Lets see that was about
    5th grade for me, ahh yes Mrs. Mortimer at Chamberlain Elementary!

  25. Robert said,

    Don’t hold your breath but rumor has it that Dan cannot post on Our View as he violated the TOS by posting my address. He can read but he cant post! Ha!

  26. K2 said,

    Robert, what are those clumps in your hot tub? They’re almost like fish eggs. . . .

    I have a tub, too. Minus the electric bill, it’s the best thing since sliced bread. Robert, are you a full-jets guy or a quiet soaker? I’m the latter.

    A.O. and MT, like you guys even went home afterwards. It was off to the Blues Club for you, then Gritty’s, then Gippers, then the Legion . . . don’t think I don’t know what lushes you are. I saw your yearbooks. Class of 1996, right? . . .

    Of course, I went out to Barneys in Sabbatuus with Gary after the band was done. Got home at 1 am. Me no smart. And me tired long time. Lab rats learn faster than I do.

    Now if only my new baboon liver shows up in the mail today. I already harvested the one from my parts baboon, so I had to order a new liver a la carte. It’s three payments, but thank god for QVC’s their three year or 3,000 beer warranty.

    Oh, I did eventually check my blinker fluid, and you know what? It was low. See? Check those levels, people. Safety first.

  27. A.O. said,

    We really did go home…honest! We had no choice, MTs blinker fluid was running low. And, we all know how dangerous it can be to drive around with low blinker fluid!

    So, you went to Saabadass after? Wow, K2, you’re a bigger party animal than I am.

  28. Robert said,

    K2 – I’m the quiet soaker guy, the wife’s the put every darned jet on full blast kind of gal, but with mine off it actually gives her more pressure….course if we had a ot tub that was actually totally working correctly it would help, I’ll never buy from Rustic Retreats again…still waiting for a part he supposedly ordered 7 months ago! Gotta luv it when you’re missing a foot jet!.

    Fish eggs? No, it must be like fabric softener, yeah thats the ticket!

    Hey ho come nobody needed me to check their blinker fliuds? Oh wait, I’m an accountant so I guess I’ll have to settle for checking your Assets!

  29. Martha said,

    Hey Robert,
    That would be cool. When they get around to deciding when we’re having reunion, I’ll let you know.

  30. Robert said,

    Lemme guess, July or August at Lost Valley…I’m beginning to think they have an Inside Track to any reunions, could it be a secret contract? And of all the places to meet…that place just sucks! Just once I’d like to see something different…

    I once attended a wedding there, and in typical French tradition people started tapping the glasses to make the couple kiss….God it was so funny to see Old Mr. Pombriant running around asking people not to do that to his dishes…..

    So I propose new guidelines for class reunions, inclusing, its got to be a great place when you were in high school, after all isn’t that what reunios are about, bringing back memories and showing everyone how good you are and how much money you’ve accumulated? So I propose the following locations for the next reunion, please folks, would luv to hear yours,

    1. The Sandpits at Danville…cops never went there as their radio could not broadcast out once they were in).
    2. The Gracelawn pits (as long as you were’nt in plain site..
    3. The archery course on Gracelawn….oops now know as ST. Dummies HIgh School
    that ones out!
    4. The Snake Trail – if you have to ask, your not local!
    5. The quarries off Perkins Ridge

  31. LaFlamme said,

    Ah, the pits. A good, old-fashioned pit party. We should get a keg and those giant red cups. We’ll hire someone to yell “cops!” every half hour.

  32. Robert said,

    Ah yes Mark, who could ever forget the Red Cups….I once went to a kegger where the host (hahaha) had blue cups, I inquired why and he said when they spill there’s less lost, when they set em down and can;t remember where, less refilled, and best of all when you raise your glass to toast the kegmeister, its camouflaged against the blue sky.

    His heart was soon broken when I explained the sky didn’t seem very blue that night!

  33. LaFlamme said,

    Blue cups!! Iconiclasm!

  34. Bulldog said,

    Hey, I’ll bring the tractor tire to throw on the bonfire!

  35. LaFlamme said,

    Oooh, you’ll bring more than that, Bulldog. Let’s go find a dark space over there in the woods.

  36. Bulldog said,

    OK, but watch out for that pile of puke.

  37. LaFlamme said,

    Ahhh, buzzkill.

  38. Robert said,

    Quick someone turn on the headlights, we’e all dying to see this coupling of the minds….or whatever that was….

  39. LaFlamme said,

    Chicks like Bulldog were always getting me into trouble.

  40. Robert said,

    Yeah Mark, I feel for ya, but you know if you weren’t bragging to every guy in junior high, then her real boyfriend wouldn’t beat the crap out of you….

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: