Absolutely my last piece on this topic, I swear

April 3, 2006 at 5:36 pm (Uncategorized)

If I look deep down and get completely honest with myself, I will admit this much: I was disappointed when the people of the Church of the Bizarre failed to show up at the funeral for Corey Dan, a 22-year-old Army sergeant from Norway killed in Iraq.
I know it was for the best. I know the family deserved a chance to honor their cherished dead without the distraction of a truly vile entity shouting absurdities.
This is the group that has protested around the country at funerals for American soldiers with the message that God is killing them to retaliate for our tolerance of homosexuality. Among its slogans: “Thank God for Dead Soldiers.” I know Norway did not need the intrusion of this group of mentally corrupt men and women with poorly defined hatred in their throats. Koresh, D Photo.jpg
Still, that disappointment. Because I wanted to look such monstrous malignity in the eye and see what was staring back.
Few recent matters have so provoked normally staid people like this planned protest. Before it turned into a non-event, I heard from typically peaceful folks with elaborate ideas about how to repel the invading church group. Those ideas ranged from water balloon attacks on the protesters, the employment of fire hoses and outright violence. And who could blame them?
Even a dedicated pacifist will get riled when such a gross intrusion is under way. What is more sacred than a memorial for the dead? What could be more vile than the corruption of a service for a young fallen soldier?
The church members, without having set foot in the state, descended lower in our view than even those fiends who desecrate graves or violate corpses. In a devilish sweep, those warped cretins dishonored the dead, the living, the grieving and the average Joes and Janes.
Most of us have suffered through funerals and through the emotional tsunami that comes with losing someone so swiftly and unexpectedly. But very few of us have had to pass through a throng of twisted malcontents just to say our good-byes.
And so we hated them without ever having lain eyes on the group. We didn’t give a damn about what they were protesting because the intended means of delivering that message was so vulgar. But then we heard exactly why these zealots were causing such uproar, and we hated them even more.
And it was nearly universal. The protesters voice their rage over homosexuality and yet they have already defeated that purpose. Gays and homophobes have never been more unified. Both groups felt those haters from Kansas ought to be stopped at the state border, tarred, feathered, flogged and then rolled right back down the highway like so many bowling balls.
The ravings of those pious loudmouths has got to be about more than a simple disdain for the gay population. There has got to be more to their madness than that. It would be comforting to learn that the whole sordid show is mere posturing, that the Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, Kan., is really motivated by greed. There was talk that the protesters wander the country, causing grief and rage, and then sue the cities where they are not protected.
As repugnant as that idea may be, it is still a step up from expressing scorn for homosexuals by condemning fallen soldiers as hell-bound heathens. The church group may be a bunch of money-grubbing shysters rather than morally confused zealots. Or maybe they are a form of collective hate that approaches evil.
And so I was in Norway last Saturday, hoping for a glimpse of the fiends. It was to be a study in human nature. In some way, I hoped that by staring into their eyes, I might see something glimmering down there in all the rancid muck of their views. Some sign of the malignancy that causes them so much disdain for gays, for soldiers, for anyone who does not share their views and their space in some contaminated compound.
I’m absolutely glad the Dan family did not have to encounter those insane interlopers at the site of the funeral. I’m glad the service was a peaceful one.
Yet one day, I’d still like to confront this church group, even if from afar. What drives a person to embrace such guttural views is a fascination. Would these men and women (and children?) be ogres with the vague shapes of horns upon their heads? Or outwardly normal people who happened to be filled with a blackness few of us have ever felt or will ever feel?
A study in human nature, yes. Though all things considered, I remain unconvinced that the people of the Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka qualify for such a study.



  1. A.O. said,

    The only reason I would have liked for these idiot’s to show up would have been for them to get thrashed. These people have got to be the stupidest bunch of morons on the face of the planet. But, I AM glad that they didn’t show up. I’m glad that the Dan family had the chance to say their last good-byes quietly. I’m glad that he was honored as the hero he truly is.

  2. LaFlamme said,

    There were a lotta people there, too. I don’t know if I ever heard an estimated count. A thousand? More? Probably more.

  3. A.O. said,

    I believe it. Supporters come out in hoards. I really would like to know how the idiot’s of this so called “church” would react if it were one of their children. Bet they’d go quietly into the night.

  4. Bobbie said,

    I believe the SJ said about 3,000 people attended. More lined the way to and from the ceremony, as well as to the graveyard.

    I’m glad that the Dan family was able to have the service in peace. No one needs to have such an intimate moment in their lives interrupted that way.

  5. Bobbie said,

    But if they’d gotten thrashed, AO, then the town would be paying thru the nose because the majority of the “church” happen to be lawyers. A lot of their money has come from suing the cities that have not provided them with protection for their first amendment rights. Did anyone else notice that once it was announced that there would be protection provided for everyone, not just the “church” members, the “church” suddenly became very quiet and did not show? Interesting………

  6. LaFlamme said,

    Okay, it’s way too quiet around here. Somebody blow shit up.

  7. A.O. said,

    Wow. Who’d want to clean that mess up?

  8. Mainetarr said,

    Did you guys realize that on Wednesday morning at 102 and 3 seconds the time and date will be 01:02:03 04-05-06? That won’t happen again in our lifetimes…

  9. A.O. said,

    Wow. Thanks for making me feel so fucking old, Mainetarr. SMOOCH!! Ya know I love you!!

  10. LaFlamme said,

    Is this a sign of something? Will the world’s computer systems suddenly seize up, causing planes and satellites to fall from the sky? Will bombs accidentally be launched due to the malfunction? More importantly, will the Internet be safe? Maybe we should build a bunker blog.

  11. Linda said,

    I thought this WAS the bunker blog. Last week there was that post-apocalyptic feel, the end of days aura. But then, that’s while the flaming brands of the old blog were still raining down. Have we reached a stage where a blog can erode so fast? Will Mark have to find us a new bolt hole every week? Where will it end?

  12. LaFlamme said,

    Ooooh. Flaming brands of the old blog. I like it. And yeah, this is our spider hole. I don’t see anything forcing us out of here. Unless we get mold or something.

  13. Bobbie said,

    If weird things happen on that day, can you imagine what’s going to happen on 06.06.06?

  14. Linda said,

    Especially if you live in Farmington. Anyone read the book?

  15. Bobbie said,

    Which book are you talking about?

  16. Linda said,

    It’s called “Farmington, Farmington” I believe.

  17. Bobbie said,

    I’ll have to check it out. Thanks.

  18. K2 said,

    Ah, the number of the beast. Revelations 13, I believe.

  19. Robert said,

    Wow such heavy thinkers today..here’s another one to contemplate on this topic..

    Constipated people couldn’t give a shit!

  20. K2 said,

    Or how about:

    Microbiology Department — Staph Only

  21. Robert said,

    Mainetarr, I was aware that the date would be 01:02 etc..however, with any date, there will never be another one like it, its the ultimate definition of once in a lifetime, so its not the time thats unique but rather the pattern of the numbers…

    I know, I know, I could not help myself and let it be, I just had to put in my 2 cents today on this one!

  22. LaFlamme said,

    So of course, Hollywood producers have a remake of “The Omen” planned for June 6. Creepy ass movie, at least the original. I got home from that one as a younster and immediately checked my scalp for the number of the beast. Fortunately, I had sevens up there. Still not sure what that signifies.

  23. K2 said,

    Yeah, the Omen was classic. It had the guy who played Jack the Ripper in H.G. Well’s ‘Time After Time’ in it. He got his head lopped off by a sheet of glass, if I’m not mistaken.

    Man, that Damien was one mean little shit. Talk about ADD — AntiChrist, Death and Destruction.

  24. Richie said,

    Phantasm. No, not orgasm, I said “Phantasm”.

    Now there was a scary movie. There are three sequels to it that I never saw; but the first one, Phantasm, is reputed to be the best. Wanna watch sumpin’ scary this Friday night ? Go get Phantasm !

  25. LaFlamme said,

    Yeah, that WAS a spooky movie. Been years, but I still remember that creepy ass undertaker guy.

  26. LaFlamme said,

    Here’s the ultimate list of all-time horror movies, by the way.

  27. K2 said,

    Richie, in my fraternity days, we used to play ‘Hallway Phantasm’ with Trak-Ball in our long hallways. That ball would come at you at a couple thousand miles per hour. If it got by you, the other guy scored a point. Usually the hall’s light fixtures were the big losers, though. Along with people who unexpectedly stepped out of their rooms into the hall.

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  29. headexercuh said,

    I’m the only one in this world. Can please someone join me in this life? Or maybe death…

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