Bug one, teacher zilch.

April 7, 2006 at 12:31 am (Uncategorized)

I've had teachers with explosive tempers, but this is ridiculous.

But seriously, folks. I've been wracking my already overwrought brain trying to remember stupid things that my own teachers did. And I can't come up with a thing. Of course, my entire memory of those elementary days is murky. I can't even name all my teachers from first grade through sixth. Except fourth and fifth grades, that is. Miss Mayberry and Miss Jones. But I've said too much already. teacher.JPG

40mm 'paperweight' explodes; teacher hurt
VENTURA — A teacher who kept a 40mm shell on his desk as a paperweight blew off part of his hand when he apparently used the object to try to squash a bug, authorities say. The 5-inch-long shell exploded while Robert Colla was teaching an adult education class. No one else was injured. Colla was reported in stable condition at a hospital. The teacher slammed the shell down in an attempt to kill something that was buzzing or crawling across the desk, a fire marshal said. Colla found the 40mm round while hunting years ago and ''obviously he didn't think the round was live," said Dennis Huston, who teaches computer design with Colla. (AP)

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29 Comments

  1. Martha said,

    All I can say is YIKE!!!!

    Just a reminder.. I’ll be leaving when I get out of work in the morning, and will be out of town until the 18th or 19th. I’ll have lots to catch up on when I get back. Don’t have too much fun without me. I’ll sure miss you guys while I’m gone.

  2. K2 said,

    And who said school can’t be fun?!? Maybe he was teaching physics? . . .

  3. Bobbie said,

    It’s a lesson learned the hard way, huh?

  4. Mainetarr said,

    Mr. Dumbass alright. They going to call him lefty from now on? hee hee
    Once, at Poland school, we had this substitute teacher from hell. She went into a supply closet to get something and I closed the door on her. It locked, and she couldn’t open it from the inside. After a few minutes of screaming, I think she lost her mind and no one dared to open the door. Finally, one of the “punks” from my class let her out. No one ever told on me and if memory serves me right, the “punk” took the fall for me. Good guy, he was. I’ll have to thank him next time I see him.

  5. Bulldog said,

    My school days are cloudy but I do remember the name of a couple of my high school teachers (not right now though ‘cuz my brain isn’t awake yet).

    sorry I missed the party in here last night! Catsinjammies showed up around 4:45 and the party got started at that point. At one point, we had 13 people here! Go figure! Everyone showed up to wish me a happy day and by the end of the night, I was pretty freakin’ happy. Didn’t get to bed until around midnight. It was good.

  6. K2 said,

    Mainetarr, you are a nefarious one, aren’t you? I always wanted to pull the ring for the safety shower in chemistry and physics, but never had the balls.

    We had a female sub for chemistry, and she literally had hair on her chest. It stuck out of her blouse top, no shit. Her last name was Henessey, and her bottoms-of-beer-bottles glasses earned her the slogan, “Ms. Henessey, the great outdoors in her glasses.” I guess you have to know old Genessee beer commercials to get that one. Damn regional humor. But did you know JP Dundee’s Honey Brown (Genny with Creamora stirred in) and Mike’s Hard Lemonade (thd ultimate ulcer inducer) are Genny products. So there.

  7. K2 said,

    Bulldog, glad you had a good b-day. Only 363 more shopping days till the next one. . . .

  8. Robert said,

    K2, don’t you go picking on my Mike’s I’ll have nothing left to enjoy…

  9. Bulldog said,

    I can’t do Mike’s either. I never get heartburn but when I drink that shit, it’s bad. God, I can feel the bile building up already!

  10. A.O. said,

    I’ve never had Mike’s. I sell a lot of it but, I’ve never been tempted to imbibe in it. I KNOW that it would give me heartburn. There are not enough Rolaids on the face of the earth to kill a lemonade induced case of heartburn.

  11. K2 said,

    Mike’s tastes great, especially on a hot day, but it nips you in the gullet, unless you’re Iron Guts Robert.

    Lately, I’ve been drinking San Lucas, an El Savadorian beer they sell at Shaw’s. It tastes light and fluffy, and is less than Corona. You get 18 cans for $14. And the can looks like a Snapple or something other than a beer, so it’s great for clandestine consumption. Or so I hear. . . .

  12. A.O. said,

    Oooo…Light and fluffy beer. Ha. I’ve never heard of San Lucas. But, sounds like a good cheap buzz. But, that’s not the reason why anyone would ever drink beer, right?

  13. Robert said,

    Geez, I’ve never had a problem with ulcers drinking MIkes. its great on a hot day to quench your thirst, but then again its not like I’m drinking 18 of something, huh K2…
    Goes good with BBQ chicken too.

    Its a sad day when a Salvadorian company is producing a cheap knock off to a Mexican import….sorry couldn’t resist…

  14. K2 said,

    No, it is pretty funny — Mexicans bitching about cheap El Salvadorian labor.

    By the way, 18 Mike’s would kill a horse.

  15. Mainetarr said,

    I’ll stick with Tequila on the rare occassions I get plastered. Other than that, for just a casual drink, I will take red wine any day.

  16. Robert said,

    NO 18 MIkes would not kill a horse, although a 6 pack sure makes being at the racetrack in CHarlotte a lot more fun!

    Getting back to the teacher, I can’t help but wonder how fortunate he was that no one was aiming for anything…..

  17. Mainetarr said,

    Good thing there wasn’t a spider crawling across his lap. He might have blown off another digit besides his finger.

  18. Bobbie said,

    I have a friend who goes wild when she has Mike’s. I’m surprised that the cops haven’t been called on her yet-she goes out of control on that stuff.

  19. LaFlamme said,

    I’m with Robert on this one. Mike’s is great. I only drink it when I’m out of beer and someone else has wussed out and left Mike’s in the fridge. You can drink thirty of those things in one sitting.

  20. Robert said,

    Wild you say Bobbie? Is she coming with you to Maine, I can get her more…..

  21. LaFlamme said,

    Girls Gone Wild on Mike’s. The Lost Sole version. Who’s manning the camera?

  22. Robert said,

    Now speaking of dumb things teachers did…

    There was that English teacher who always seemed to smell of alcohol….

    Or that geometry teacher with “open Book” testing, needless to say the class was fille dwith the football team…hmmm what a coincidence!

    Then there was the biology instructor with a bad eye, damn how he always caught people with the bad eye but not the good one, talk about overcompensating…

    Or the music teacher who had a “partner” before anyone knew to call them partners…I can still not recall that person without envisioning the sweat stains under the armpits.

    Course there was the susbstitute for a year of 11th grade English, fresh out of college and way to young to be working with older teens….I still want to know who got lucky with her (besides the football team).

    Or the history teacher who would almost faint if you spoke anything she considered vulgar, in fact to this day she never knew anyone who got pregnant but they were as she put it “in the family way”. Sure was fun to provoke a panic attack with a couple well placed comments.

    And if you wanted to skip history, all you did was have a friend start the class period by asking the teacher a question about his days in Alaska, he’d completely forget to take attendance…

  23. Robert said,

    Mark, no cameras, it gets in the way of my filming for posterity….

  24. K2 said,

    Another classic Genny ad was a hottie sitting on a case of Genny, with the line “Your wife is on your case.”

  25. Bobbie said,

    My friend won’t be coming with me to Maine-she now lives in Missouri. It’s a running joke between all of her friends that if they really want a good time at the party, they’ll bring the Mike’s for her. Then they laugh their assess off when she turns like 10 shades of red and can no longer talk “right” because of the sudden stuttering problem that she developes.

    I know exactly which teacher that you’re talking about, Robert. My junior year, someone got her good one day. They were on the topic of slavery and how you’d check the slaves out to make sure that you were getting your money’s worth. The teacher asked about ways other than the standard looking at their teeth and checking their muscles out to make sure that they were healthly and a female student, who was floating along very nicely that day, raised her hand and said that you could also drop their pants and look there as well. Knowing the girl who answered the question, I’m sure that it wasn’t phrased as politely as that. I was told that this happened at the beginning of the class and the teacher walked out, very red, and didn’t come back for the rest of the class. That story made the rounds very quickly that day.

  26. Bobbie said,

    A couple went to the usual Friday night dance at school and they saw this teacher there. During her class on Monday, the couple was talking about the dance on Friday and the guy asked the girl what time she had finally gotten home after the dance. The girl responded that she had gotten home at 7:30 AM on Saturday. The teacher was walking by their desks while this conversation was happening and the teacher almost fainted when she heard the girl tell the guy that. The girl went back later and explained that she had gone to work right after the dance and did not get off work until 7 AM the next day. The teacher showed up that following weekend at the girl’s place of employment and almost fell thru the floor in surprise because she didn’t think that the girl was telling the truth.

    Some days, this teacher was just way too easy to get on something.

  27. A.O. said,

    Sure would like to know who that teacher was. I wonder if I had her as a teacher at EL?

  28. Bobbie said,

    I just e-mailed you that information.

  29. Robert said,

    Ahh yes, I heard that story Bobbie, but AO didn’t you move to Lewiston to finish hish school?

    All the teachers were at a public high school in Auburn…

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