What Bulldog wears around the house

April 7, 2006 at 8:14 pm (Uncategorized)

Ah, nobody wants to talk about brain tumors and child murders on a Friday. What was I thinking? This is a time for drinking too much, making inappropriate advances toward one another, and making fun of people with dog nicknames.

The Dogone – Dog Gas Neutralizing Pad is a comfortable and least intrusive means for deodorizing gassy discharges in a thong design. This will eliminate pet odors and dog odors from flatus or flatulence.

Uses our famous activated charcoal cloth (washable and reusable)! A starter hole is placed in the cloth in order to help you locate the suggested tail hole. Carefully measure tail and cut-out hole to proper size. Elastic straps are used for flexibility. Suspender clips are used to make the garment totally adjustable. They also provide quick release for allowing the dog out to do his business.
Patent Pending



  1. Linda said,

    Mark, I don’t care what they say, you don’t deserve to have a dog!

  2. LaFlamme said,

    Why the hell not?

  3. Linda said,

    Real dogs don’t wear clothes. Not rain slickers, not leisure suit hoodies, not flannel pj’s, not tennis sweaters, and CERTAINLY NOT GAS NEUTRALIZING THONGS. You can bet the dog in that photo had that thing off him as soon as they let go of his tail.

    My dog did agree to wear a Christmas outfit once for a road race in Freeport, but it took some serious persuasion and he was very embarrassed.

  4. Fred said,

    Will it work on husbands?

  5. LaFlamme said,

    Well, I didn’t say I’D put on of these things on a pooch. The blog administrator does not endorse or support any products listed herein or some shit.

    Fred! Where’ve you been?

  6. Fred said,

    Keeping a low profile! I can always open the door and kick the dog outside when he stinks up the living room.The `ol man is a lot harder to deal with.

  7. LaFlamme said,

    I’m glad you know the way back here, anyway.

  8. A.O. said,

    Wow Fred, That was my first thought. Maybe we should go into business and come up with ones that’ll fit a husbands butt. Sounds like a plan to me.

  9. A.O. said,

    Mark, I like that little blog stats thingy on the side. Nice way to keep track of your popularity.

    WTF are Weasel and Treehugger? Don’t they like us anymore?

  10. Linda said,

    Sure is quiet for a Friday night!

  11. A.O. said,

    I know. Friday nights are usually very rowdy around here.

  12. Linda said,

    Is there anybody here who’s ever carefully measured a dog’s tail? Dogs don’t like that. Husbands might not mind so much.

    Don’t mean to harp on about the post — I’m just saying.

  13. A.O. said,

    I for one have never measured a dogs tail. Allergies have prevented me from doing so. And, I’ve never measured my husbands either. Again..allergies.

  14. Linda said,

    Bad luck, A.O. On both counts.

  15. brenda said,

    hi. I had a dobie mix/ Rhodesian Ridgeback once, and when it was cold out I put one of my t-shirts on her. The next year, one day she picked that shirt up from the pile of clothes and brought it to me, it seemed like she actually wanted to wear it again! Her name was Amy, my daughter named her.

  16. A.O. said,

    Alas, it’s just the way it goes.

  17. Linda said,

    Hi Brenda. There goes my theory that dogs don’t want to wear clothes. Dogs sure can make it clear what they like.

  18. LaFlamme said,

    Ha! AO, that cracked me up. The allergies line, I mean.

  19. A.O. said,

    It really sucks being allergic to dogs.

  20. LaFlamme said,

    Yeah. But husbands, too?

  21. brenda said,

    haven’t you heard? men are dogs.

  22. Anonymous said,

    I love dogs

  23. Linda said,

    Speaking of dogs and husbands, my husband hurt his foot so I’m the designated dog walker. All that fresh rural air and exercise … well, my point is, good night.

  24. Anonymous said,

    “…oh I wish I were an oscar mayer weiner!
    That is what I truly want to be-eee-ee!
    ’cause if I were an oscar mayer weiner,
    everyone would be in love with me!”

  25. LaFlamme said,

    Uh oh. A frankfurter in the house. I hope she doesn’t fight with the hamburg patties.

  26. Anonymous said,

    “…no, I’m glad I’m not an oscar mayer weiner!
    That is what I’d never want to be-ee-ee!
    ’cause if I were an oscar mayer weiner,
    everyond would take a bite of me!”

  27. late nite tv said,

    “…Yanni does not break lips” from Larry King show…

  28. Gil said,

    Psychos with brain tumors, dumbasses with bombs, farting dog pads, and pedophiles. Is this leading up to a blog devoted to Dan?

  29. LaFlamme said,

    Hey, hey. I haven’t descended THAT far yet.

  30. Gil said,

    AO, where is your store? I’ll drop by for a sandwich and some Fat Bastard.

  31. Bobbie said,

    What is going on with the teacher being stupid blog? I tried to access it and it only goes to comment number 11. None of the interesting stuff on the side shows up either. And yes, I did try to refresh it a time or two.

  32. Bobbie said,

    Forget that I asked that question. When I clicked on the topic from the side post, everything came up, but when I did it the other way, it was screwed up a bit.

  33. Gil said,

    Two men are talking in the bar sharing their sob stories. One man says, “I had the worst Freudian slip the other day.”

    The other man responds, “What the hell is a Freudian slip?” “You know,” says the first man. “It’s when you mean to say one thing, but you say something else that reveals what you are really thinking about.

    Like the other day I was at the airport, and this really sexy lady was helping me. Instead of asking her for ‘two tickets to Pittsburgh,’ I asked her for ‘two pickets to Tittsburgh.” The second replies, “Oh, now I know what you are talking about. It’s like the other day when I was having breakfast with my wife. I wanted her to pass me the orange juice, but instead I said, ‘You ruined my life, bitch!'”

  34. LaFlamme said,

    Huh. More quirks. I gotta hose this place down.

  35. Mainetarr said,

    If you ever patent these fart blockers, let me know where to buy one. Bailey can peel the paint off the walls with his nasty stink bombs. He knows what “Ohh, BooBoo, you a stinker!” means, too. Once, some asshole fed him deviled eggs at a party at my house. I wanted to shoot myself it was so bad.

  36. Bulldog said,

    My farts smell like roses, so I don’t need one. But, my dog could sure use one. I’ll take a case.

    By the way Flamer, you’re an ass. You should wear one of these, because you stink.

    Hi FRED!!

  37. K2 said,

    Good one, Gil.

    I’m too sick today to be creative. Do they sell a morpine drip OTC?

  38. A.O. said,

    K2, What’s the matter? Too much of that “Light & Fluffy” beer? Or, have you caught your kids colds?

  39. K2 said,

    Damn kids. I should sell ’em on e-Bay.

    Yeah, I’m hurtin’. Just totally out of it with a head cold and sore throat. My kids are still sick too. Fortunately, the Mrs. is cold-free, so I can fully avoid all responsibilty today and watch the Masters, laying on the couch.

  40. Gil said,

    Funny, that’s what my girlfriend is doing today, watching the Master laying on the couch.

  41. A.O. said,

    Thanks for reminding about the Masters. I wanted to take a nap today. And, watching the Masters is better than any sleeping pill.

    Hope you feel better soon!

  42. K2 said,

    Lay off the golf jibes, you putts. . . .

  43. Mainetarr said,

    Hey, I am watching the Masters in my recliner. From some of my earlier posts, I spent most of the night up with Mark chatting. Couldn’t sleep. Hubby is sick, got the same thing K2 has. Drink lots of fluids K2 and you will be feeling better in about 2 weeks. This damn thing going around has knocked everyone for a loop.

  44. Bulldog said,

    K2, sorry I gave you my mono. It’s not fun getting it but getting it was fun!

  45. K2 said,

    Yeah, this is back to back colds for me. Man, is it easy to take health for granted.

    Bulldog, I guess it’s you and me, mono y mono.

    Maintarr, what channel has the golf on right now? Me no know.

  46. K2 said,

    And MT, is beer a ‘fluid’?

  47. LaFlamme said,

    The Masters, eh? I was invited to compete this year, but had other commitments.

  48. K2 said,

    They invited a black woman to play in the Masters? Wow. The times they are a-changin’.

    Sorry. Uncalled for. Totally.

    You seen a Titleist 3 anywhere? It’s a Pro-V 1, yes. Thanks.

  49. Mainetarr said,

    the masters pre show was on the golf channel, but I have DISH TV, so l am not sure what normal channel it is on.

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