The eye of the beholder

April 14, 2006 at 2:45 am (Uncategorized)

So, my friend Randy is out of the hospital and back to work. He cheated death, confounded the doctors and returned reasonably unscathed. Except for this thing with his appetite. The new Randy is weirdly fixatedchicken porn.jpg on food. Where he once had an eye for cheerleaders and supermodels, now he leans more toward the specials at Burger King and Papa John's. Give the guy beer and food, and he'll never leave his house. That's porn to him.

I suppose a person's priorities change after a near death experience. Or maybe, we just get older and the superficial pleasures that once preoccupied us seem less important with more tangible and attainable drunk_girl1.jpgjoys at hand. The once hard drinking, skirt chasing barfly gravitates away from the clubs and toward golf or the stock market. The aging party girl takes up watercolor or crochet and suddenly doesn't make happy hour so much any more. The former coke sniffing nightclub hound kicks the powder and now ties fishing lures over long weekends.

I guess that's growing up or growing tired. Me, I'm in abject denial of adulthood in general. I'll stick to my tawdry pleasures, thank you very much. I figure I'll take up a more sedate pastime after my fourth or fifth heart attack. Now pass the twelve pack and open a window so I canCNEmpBoxer.gif smoke. Today is Friday. I say indulge in whatever pleasure still keeps you going, be it needlepoint or moonshine. We don't judge in here.

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64 Comments

  1. Randyman said,

    Ha! very well done Mr Laflamme and very true, but you left something out.

    Here's the thing: yes, my perspective on life has changed a little, and as we get older we realize one very important thing — we can't get the cheerleaders and models. Yes, they are very nice to look at and yes, even fantasize about BUT WE CAN GET THE BEER AND THE CHICKEN. Sorry were my caps on.

    the point is… food and beer go great together on a weekend afternoon watching the sox outside with a fire going. Need I say more?

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  3. Mainetarr said,

    Good for you Randy!! Glad to see you are doing better and back to work. Have a good weekend, have a few beers for me and pass the Doritoes.

  4. K2 said,

    Yeah, the young chickies don’t like us old men, unless we have bucket loads of cash, and even then, they’re just in it for the money. (See Anna Nicole Smith.)

    But lay off the porn. It’s all I have. Gotta ‘phone the czar’ every now and then, right?

    Randy, I don’t know you from Adam, but glad to hear you’re healthy again. Nothing gets taken for granted like good health.

  5. Bulldog said,

    Gotta wonder what REALLY happened to him in the hospital? Did his wife talk to the doctor about hypnotizing him into liking food instead of women? Did they feed him stale bread and water thus causing him to dream about food the whole time he was in there and causing him to fantasize only about food? Things that make you go hmmmmmmmmmmm.

    Either way, I’m glad he’s back in action.

  6. Bulldog said,

    P.S. Mark- what are you insinuating with that pic of the dog with the crown???? Queen Bitch maybe?

  7. A.O. said,

    Bulldog, is that a new crown? Ha.

    I’m glad that Randy’s back to work, even though he’s not his normal old self. But, what is normal anyway? Come see me for your next 12 pack!

  8. K2 said,

    Obviously too nice out to be blogging. Fine. Be that way. You and your ‘sunshine.’ Whatever. So selfish. No, forget it. If that’s what you want. Face it, you used me. You never call. Ever. What about my feelings? What about me?!?

  9. "The Weasel" said,

    A.O I believe this is what you meant to tell Bulldog….

  10. K2 said,

    I hear Bulldog goes from zero to bitch in under three seconds.

  11. LaFlamme said,

    Hey, Bulldog. Interesting concept about the mind alterations Randy may have undergone. I think I’ll put it to a test. Tonight, I’ll have a sexy broad carry in a pizza and see which one he pounces on. Okay, I need volunteers.

  12. LaFlamme said,

    Anyone see those Bag Ladies picking on me in their column today? What’d I ever do to them? Oh, yeah… that.

  13. DM said,

    Randy , I want to offer to snap you out of your food obsession …

  14. LaFlamme said,

    Ooooh. I sense a temptress.

  15. A.O. said,

    Hey, I’ll supply the pizza. Just find someone to deliver it.

  16. Linda said,

    Bulldog, I realize you’re the Queen but I always pictured you as a more punk, less Elizabethan queen. But Mark knows you better — so I must have been wrong? (or maybe that picture will look more punk by 10 o’clock, that’s a possibility …?)

  17. A.O. said,

    Linda: Check out The Vault. You’ll find a picture of our Bulldog.

  18. A.O. said,

    Oops. Never mind. It’s gone.

  19. Mainetarr said,

    I am here, I am not gone…

  20. A.O. said,

    I think someone mush have stolen it.

  21. A.O. said,

    MUST have stolen it. Ha. That’s what I get for typing while talking on the phone.

  22. LaFlamme said,

    Mush have stolen it…. Sounds like you’re wasted. Or like Elvis: “Thang you ver’ mush…”

  23. A.O. said,

    Nope. Not wasted. Too bad. I was just talking on the phone to Mainetarr and typing at the same time. UH-HUH-HUH…

  24. The Other Randy said,

    I think you’re salvageable. When we hittin’ the strip club, Flamme?

  25. LaFlamme said,

    I don’t know. Soon as Baril gets a permission slip, I guess.

  26. The Other Randy said,

    A.O. Did you get my reply re: the Cubs?

  27. A.O. said,

    Yes, I did! My eyes were bleeding by the time I finished reading it but, I FUCKING loved it!

  28. LaFlamme said,

    Oh, Danny Boy. The pipes… the pipes are callin’…
    I mean, welcome back, Dan. We’ve missed you.

  29. Linda said,

    Is he back? Where? or do you just have a hunch that he’s lurking? (cue Jaws music)

  30. LaFlamme said,

    Shoot. He posted in Year of the Cat.

  31. Linda said,

    Guess I’m not paying close enough attention … dammit, if I only didn’t have to work and all, how the hell do you all keep up?

  32. A.O. said,

    Hey, Linda, How’s your husbands leg?

  33. Linda said,

    Well the leg is better, thanks for asking, but he’s had ABSOLUTELY ENOUGH of lying on the couch being waited on. (Yes, you read that right.) I think Monday he can put the crutches away and start limping around.

    And how has it been for me? Christ, don’t ask.

  34. A.O. said,

    Linda, I KNOW how it’s been for you. Believe me, I KNOW. God bless you.

  35. Randyman said,

    Hey folks! thanks for all the kind words,, I really do feel great like this thing never happened,, it feels great to be working out again

    A.O. the pizza sounds good! and the beer too
    did you get your prints?
    Laflamme told me your niece was in the vigil photo
    so I pumped out and 8×10
    and also cropped the story hope you liked that too
    thats an 11×17 print
    very sad story no doubt

    Hey D.M I do need help snapping me out of food obsession
    what did you have in mind?
    maybe you can deliver the pizza!

    PS im working on collages full time again
    so anybody needs anything done email photos to rbaril@exploremaine.com

  36. LaFlamme said,

    What the hell? I thought I banned Baril from this place. I don’t need him eating everything in site and leaving crumbs all over the joint. Friggin’ eating machine is what he is. I gotta figure out that banning system.
    Holy shit! Was that out loud? I mean! Hey, Randy! How ya doing?

  37. LaFlamme said,

    And as long as your flagrantly advertising in the blog, something I would never do (buy the pink room now), shoot me some of your collages and I’ll find a way to post them. In the Vault, perhaps.
    Also, you smell like socks.

  38. Randyman said,

    hey ,, I said I was feeling better 100%

    my collages speak for themselves I will take you up on your offer

  39. Mainetarr said,

    Hey Randy (and the other Randy too) I will bring you guys some home made Italian food next week. I am off Monday, so I will made my 8 hour sauce and stuff some shells for you guys. You’ll love it…..

  40. Linda said,

    Pancakes anyone? That’s what I’ve got here.

  41. Bulldog said,

    Hey Flamer- did you pick up that bike at Marden’s yet? I thought I saw you riding it the other day (nice sweater vest, by the way)

  42. brenda said,

    Thanks Linda, pancakes would be great. Got any blueberries?

  43. Linda said,

    I’ve got a freezer full of blueberries, Brenda — friends in VI-enna with a blueberry farm. And, you know, Wilton is the home of the Blueberry Festival.

  44. Linda said,

    Speaking of the bike, Bulldog, the Pee Wee quote didn’t last long — I know you are but what am I? — we gotta be quick with those. “Asshat” might hang aroung longer, it’s got a bit more relevance (I hope)

  45. LaFlamme said,

    I dunno. I was thinking maybe I should use that space for the word of the day or something. I’m open to suggestions.

  46. Randyman said,

    Hey mainetarr,, thanks! I love italian food
    does this mean we have to share with Laflamme?
    ah,, he dont eat much

    oops

  47. LaFlamme said,

    Oh, man. Somebody woke up the hungry beast.

  48. Linda said,

    Mark, it’s your site so I think you should use that space for whatever bubbles up. Go ahead and free-associate. If it gets too scary for us, we’ll let you know.

  49. LaFlamme said,

    Oh, great. Now I’ll end up confessing to something in a simple line of text. It’s all very psychological.

  50. Linda said,

    You are well protected here in the bunker though.

  51. LaFlamme said,

    True, true. I think we have some sort of blogger privilege that protects our comments from being used in a court of law. Protection from self incrimination or some such thing.

  52. Linda said,

    Yes I’m sure of it. Good thing, too!

  53. Mainetarr said,

    I will make enough for you all Randy. Bon appetite!

  54. Randyman said,

    thank you! mainetarr

  55. LaFlamme said,

    Careful, MT. Feeding Randy is like feeding a stray puppy.

  56. Randyman said,

    Hey Laflamme,, did you find the IRS address? for some reason we dont have the envolope (must pay uncle sam) I want to get that out today

  57. A.O. said,

    Hey, Randy, Thanks for the photo. My niece loved it. It was very kind of you! I owe you a pizza.

  58. Randyman said,

    Hey A.O no problem pizza sounds great,, im off monday
    im glad she liked it

  59. A.O. said,

    You come in and get one. I’d have it delivered to you to try out Mark’s theory but, I’m fresh out of Playboy Bunny delivery girls. ūüėČ

  60. Randyman said,

    Ha! thats ok ,,,im at work now this is so much fun working saturday night!

    my cover guy is on vacation

  61. Randyman said,

    hey,, the blog is back

  62. LaFlamme said,

    What is this talk of pizza and bunny ears?

  63. Linda said,

    A non-traditional Easter dinner, what’s wrong with that?

  64. brenda said,

    what happened to the blog yesterday, anyway?

    ps, I can’t seem to post 2 comments in a row on the music one. You have an anti-disco-queen spam-blocker or something?

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