There’s a killer on the road

April 17, 2006 at 2:18 pm (Uncategorized)

A killer goes on a rampage and cleans out two men who happen to be registered sex offenders. Fearing a serial killer may be targeting molesters, the state shuts down the big list of all such offenders registered in the state. It sounds quite a lot like a made-for-tv movie, or an episode of Law & Order. books1.jpg

It remains to be seen if the gunman was planning a systematic attack on all the convicted sexual fiends he could find. That's certainly the tempting way to think. It's lurid and it has the elements of lone justice and revenge. Those details will emerge in due time. In the meantime, the important question becomes: How do we feel about it?

 

***

I had a friend who was sexually molested as a child. My best friend, in fact. I was 14, she a few years younger when she told me about it. It had happened years before and my friend related this tale with a sort of detachment.

I don't believe kids really grasp the severity of that kind of violation unless they are the victim of it. To me, hearing about the atrocity was like listening to a boogie man story around a campfire.

The fiend was big and dark and snarling. The victim was small, shy and frightened. Dreadful things were done to her in a dark and dreadful place.

There were screams and threats and horrible deeds. There were tears and whimpers and pleas for release. There was shame and guilt and confusion.

I was 14 and nodding a lot, astounded by the story but high above it. All I knew was it was an appalling revelation and I was glad my friend had survived.

It was like she took a really bad wipe out on her bike, or escaped from a house fire.

It happened, she lived and that was that. A gruesome experience and an unfortunate one. Yet she had walked away to tell me about it years after the fact.

I knew a kid once who rode his bike down the steep face of a hill and skidded the last 60 feet or so on his face. He wore scars into his teen years and had to answer questions about them every time he met someone new.

My friend didn't have those kinds of scars. In fact, her face was round and pretty and flawless. Wide eyes, smooth skin and cheeks like apples.

Tough girl, too. Physically strong to a freakish degree. I'd seen her thrash older girls out there in the projects where she lived. I'd seen her wrestle guys and leave them tapping out in embarrassed astonishment.

Tough as nails, this friend of mine. Only she was emotionally brittle.

Sad movies made her cry. The plights of stray cats would leave her gloomy for days. And her mother, well… Her mother was divorced and dating. Many strange men came to my friend's home and she despised them all. They were all big and powerful and threatening to her.

Without so much as an unkind word or a raised voice, these intimidating men would leave my friend shaking and sobbing and dashing away from her home.

I'd find her trembling in the woods, pounding her fist against her knees and crying the kind of tears that seem to burn down her cheeks.

I tell you, kids don't understand the kind of trauma that comes with that kind of violation. I thought maybe my friend was maladjusted or having trouble toddling into her teen years. I used to scoff at her and chide the dramatics.

She'd shove me away and go on crying and I'd wander off to find a pickup baseball game somewhere.

She was my best friend then. But I had no idea that something inflicted on her years ago was still drawing blood.

I've had the miserable experience here of seeing admitted child molesters sent away with teeny tiny jail sentences or none at all. Don't get me started on the 81-year-old man who admitted to sexually abusing four girls he babysat.

The old creature stood in court and admitted to violating girls 3, 8, 12 and 15-years old over the course of a year. Two or three times a week, this ogre engaged in fiendish sex acts too horrible to describe here.

Yet Androscoggin County prosecutors sent the old man home to serve probation instead of jail time. They cited his age and ill health as reasons for the sentence.

What you didn't see in court at that particular hearing was the family of the victims to express outrage. The mother of the girls, in fact, was charged with allowing the nastiness to continue. She was accused of encouraging the behavior and sent to jail.

They sent the old man home though, while the kids he mistreated have gone on to various foster homes and various emotional problems.

That one is documented. You can look it up in the court records. Call me and I'll give you the names and dates.

I could list numerous cases beyond that where admitted child molesters were sent free because there was no outrage in the courtroom. The family was not present and the press was looking the other way. Prosecutors took the path of least resistance and called it a day. Probably saved tax payers a few bucks.

Kids who are molested are not like kids who get punched or kicked by bullies on the playground, who then walk way laughing. These victims don't scream in pain and then shake it off.

My friend… She went on mistrusting grown men and hating her life in general. She was sent away to another state to live with a man who yelled at her and dominated her at least emotionally.

I was maybe 16 years old when I got the phone call. My friend had pulled a rifle from her macho step-dad's gun rack while the house was otherwise empty. She loaded a slug, hooked a toe around the trigger and aimed the barrel at her face.

With a bang she likely never heard, her pain was over. The whole time I'd known her, she was dying from the kind of anguish I can't ever imagine. The kind of anguish I didn't even think about until the first fistful of dirt thumped down upon her coffin.

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34 Comments

  1. Fred said,

    I think they ought to print him out the list,then give him a couple of boxes of ammo and turn him loose.

  2. LaFlamme said,

    Won’t do him much good now. He dead.

  3. Anonymous said,

    Unless someone has actually gone through something like this, no one else understands the pain that follows you on a daily basis. Some have gotten the help that they needed and have moved on with their lives (but they will always carry the scars with them), while others don’t and end up like your friend.

    While I was growing up, it was always “Stay away from this one or that one because they were dirty old men”. When you tried to tell someone what was happening to you, they gave you the standard response of staying away from them, but they did nothing to stop the abuse. Then again, that was back in the days when things like that were kept in the closet and they never saw the light of day.

    To this day, I still hesitate when going down to the cellar for anything. Just because I’ve forgiven someone for what they’ve done to me so that I may move on with my life does not mean that the scars have healed.

  4. A.O. said,

    I feel sadly for the young man who turned the gun on himself. It sounds like he was avenging past hurts. I don’t for one second find him in the wrong. The only ones in the wrong are the ones that abuse(d) children like, “Anonymous” and, Mark’s friend. If anyone would ever do anything like that to one of my children, I’d hunt them down with a rifle too. I’d make them wish they’d never been born. Bastards.

  5. Anonymous said,

    Unfortunately, the abuser doesn’t see what they’re doing as destroying someone elses life. For them, it’s strictly a power trip. Most do not get gratification from the act, but from the power they hold over an innocent child and the fear that they instill in the child every time something happens.

    It’s no wonder that someone will commit suicide over the abuse that they have endured. It’s a hard thing to live with on a daily basis, especially when you think that you’ve dealt with it all and then something happens to bring it all flooding back again. To this day, I still have blank spots concerning my childhood. There are days when I think that I want to clear those blank spots up once and for all, but other days, I know that it is best to leave them locked behind that door.

    Thank you all for letting me take this time today.

  6. A.O. said,

    Anonymous, I truly sorry for your hurt. Weather you clear those blank spots up, or not, is entirely up to you. Only you know what is best for YOU. I can’t even begin to understand what you’re going through and, I’d be lying if I said that I did. I wish you only the best in your healing process.

  7. Fred said,

    Its sad that he killed himself.He should have recieved a medal.Anyone who would hurt a child like that deserves death, not a slap on the wrist.You can never cure them of their sickness.Serving time in jail does not serve justice. They can NEVER “pay their debt to society’.

  8. Linda said,

    I really admire your strength, Anonymous, to have been through horrible stuff and still be able to write about it in such a balanced and moving way. Thank YOU for telling us part of your story and I hope it makes us more understanding toward people who may have been through something similar. To help them break the chain of hurt.

  9. Buffalo Bill said,

  10. Mainetarr said,

    Well, I have said it before and I will say it again now, these sick bastards should not do any jail time at all. Not one day past a guilty verdict. They should be shot. You CAN NOT rehabilitate thses sick freaks. Why send them to jail? It serves no purpose. They DO NOT get better. When they get out, it usually gets more violent and more frequent. These men and women need to put put down like rabid animals. I would donate a paycheck towards ammo for anyone who wants to hunt these bastards. I say make it open season on child molesters. And it is very unfortunate that this 19 yeah old boy turned the gun on himself. He died a martyr in my eyes.

  11. Fred said,

    Couldn`t have said it better myself, MT

  12. A.O. said,

    I know. I wish he wouldn’t have done that. He’ll probably (and will, in my eyes) go down in some Maine history books as…a hero. I agree with you Mainetarr, they’ve committed one of the worst crimes imaginable. They should all be hunted like the animals that they are. I’ll chip in on the ammo fund.

  13. Mainetarr said,

    Thanks Fred. Just like that Kevin Underwood bastard that killed that beautiful 10 year old girl because he wanted to eat her. I’d love to be given the opportunity to throw the switch on that asshat.

  14. A.O. said,

    Gawd!! See?? I purposly didn’t read that article because…I really didn’t want to know that. Poor little girl. Words just can’t begin to describe how awful…

  15. brenda said,

    I definitely agree with “death for underwood” – he’s not even human.
    I knew what Fred would say when I read the article this morning about the guy killing 2 child molesters. But I don’t quite agree that ALL of the m \people on the sex offender’s list deserve to be shot. They do need to be controlled. But some people on that list are there for questionable reasons.

    My uncles who molested me were mentally ill, and I think knowing that helped me deal with it. And they weren’t on power trips, they were just mentally ill. One molested my sister ten years later. She was much more traumatised than I. I went to counselling off & on since my early twenties, and I studied psych. But the idea that I’d be emotionally damaged for life did me more damage than the actual abuse! When I decided psych/ & counsellors were full of crap, and I decided to not be a victim anymore, I was able to not be defined by that. I think. But as Mark’s blog describes, I am rather sensitive, and reluctant to allow a man to have any power in my life, and I get upset by what seems meanness & bullying,( like in some blogs) , I am not able to let anyone take care of my son although I want to go to work, and he still has to go with me to the women’s room if I don’t have a trusted man to taccompany him to the men’s room. I do get depressed sometimes……. maybe it affected me somewhat.

    Mostly, I choose to be grateful every morning that I wake up and discover that the sun rose once again.

    but, as I’ve mentioned before, Jesse De La Rosa, and his nephew Jesse, never touched me yet they were convicted , falsely, of molesting me many years ago. There really are some innocent men convicted.

  16. Fred said,

    Brenda,Anyone who would molest a child is mentally ill. They can`t be “cured” or “rehabilitated”! They will do it as long as they are alive.They need to be executed.The kids are more inportant then they are.

  17. brenda said,

    EXACLY!

  18. brenda said,

    oops, I meant: EXACTLY

  19. brenda said,

    except, if we kill mentally ill people, what kind of society are we?

  20. LaFlamme said,

    “Before God prepares a man for evil, he first damages his mind.” — Bruce C.

  21. brenda said,

    ooooo…….. profound?!!!

  22. Mainetarr said,

    There are plenty of mentally ill people who do not molest children and we, as a society care for them and try to protect them from themselves and others. Npt all of the child molesters are not mentally ill, they are just perverse bastards. Some people get off on porn, others prefer to watch people have sex with animals, some like to watch lesbians. Those who prefer to harm children need a bullet to the forehead. Period.

  23. brenda said,

    I think a lot of murderers are mentally ill too.

  24. Mainetarr said,

    Look on the sex offender website. WTF, is that a pre-requisite to getting hired at Prompto and Walmart? You have to be a sex offender? It lists where they work. Seems like a large amount are at those two businesses. I see a boycott in my future. Screw Walmart and Prompto. Especially Prompto. Not like they are a huge corporation. They should check on these things. Every reputible company around makes you take a drug test before hiring you, what, they can’t legally run an applicants name through the sex offenders website?

  25. LaFlamme said,

    Really? Usually it’s Home Depot.

  26. brenda said,

    good question MT.

    There’s a local man on the list, who works for a church/ homeless outreach, and I really think he’s harmless. I checked the code that’s by each one, and it seems that he must’ve had an affair with a customer, an inappropriate relationship that probably ended badly & he was put on the list as a punishment for crossing that line with a client. I really don’t think he’s a child molester & it doesn’t actually say he is. There’s more than one way to get on the list. You have to check the code & figure out what it means.
    One neighbor, a woman, is on it, and I assume it’s for dressing too scantily in front of kids and either her ex, or the preschool, pressed charges against her.. Either that, or her kids walked in when she was with her boyfriend & that got out….
    I’m still not asking either of them to babysit. But I’m more worried about the pedophiles NOT ON the list. It could be anyone, whom you least expected…..

  27. Anonymous said,

    Thank you for the kind words and understanding, AO and Linda. As for the blank spots from my childhood, I know that I can live with them and do not have to explore them to be “whole” again. I just wish it would not hit me before I go to sleep at night to realize the reason behind some of the things I do.

  28. LaFlamme said,

    Ahhhh. I know the guy Brenda’s talking about. And let’s not forget the local woman who, with the help of an 80 year old neighbor, molester her entire family of sons and daughters. She’s still around.

  29. Anonymous said,

    recently we’ve been seeing more wonmen sex offenders & child molesters.

  30. 'scuse my typo said,

    women, not wonmen

    fat fingers….

  31. K2 said,

    How ’bout the vigilante’s own brain and blood splattering five passengers? Now that’s gotta make for an interesting “The last time I rode a bus . . .” story.

    As for the ‘victims’: Fuck ’em.

  32. Bobbie said,

    When I took my son to school this morning, this subject came up on the radio station. The dj’s were wondering if this would affect the sex offender’s list that we have for Colorado. They didn’t have too much to say, good or bad, about it. They, like everyone else, were wondering what set the guy off like that.

  33. brenda said,

    yeah, bobbie, I was wondering too, if he or someone close to him was molested or something.

    I’ve been thinking about what anonymous wrote & thinking about what to say to her.
    “As for the blank spots from my childhood, I know that I can live with them and do not have to explore them to be “whole” again. I just wish it would not hit me before I go to sleep at night to realize the reason behind some of the things I do.”
    When things arre too difficult, denial is one of the defenses we use to get through but after awhile it doesn’t work so well anymore. Maybe those moments are the strong part of you trying to come through. When you wrote:
    “… to realize the reason behind some of the things I do” –I think it is an opportunity for insight. Through looking at those difficult moments, and realising why you do the things you do, you can begin to decide for yourself what you want to do & why, rather than continueing to be controlled by the bad past experience. It is a difficult process sometimes. I hope you have someone to talk these theings through with. But probably not family. They may be too willing to participate in protecting the denial, because that’s status quo.

  34. Gino Piscitelli said,

    I was looking for crucial information on this subject. The information was important as I am about to launch my own portal. Thanks for providing a missing link in my business. Breathing techniques are all some women need, so take a class if you want to try that.

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