The Great MT

April 28, 2006 at 2:26 am (Uncategorized)

You know how there are people in the world who really get it when you ask them one simple favor? Like, if you really don't want anyone to mention your birthday, that person will understand and abide by your wishes?

I'm not one of those people. Happy Freakin' Birthday, Mainetarr. Please imagine me blowing one of those loud party favors in your face and placing a ridiculous, conical hat on your head. And while you're at it, prepare yourself. The entire Lost Sole crowd, the loved and hated alike, have assembled her together to sing "The Wind Beneath My Wings" to you. We've been rehearsing for weeks and I think we've risen to the level of truly awful. Are you ready, Lost Sole players? And a-one, and a-two…


Settle down, MT. We don't have the proper acoustics in here for that. And even if we did, we probably don't have more than one or two decent voices in the whole lot. That's alright though, because the sentiment is there. Everybody loves Mainetarr, man. She's one of those rare breeds who can be combative and loveable at the same time. You're the glue around here, sister.

*sniff* I promised myself I wouldn't cry. Bear with me, people. Imagine we're sitting around a table littered with bottles and glasses. wench.jpgWe have already consumed enough liquor to fuel a flight to Venus. Normally staid bloggers are suddenly hugging each other and slurring "I love you man," to people they can't even see. We are here battering our livers to wish a happy birthday to the beloved Mainetarr. One by one, we stumble to our feet to toast her. And the harder we try to be sardonic and cruel, the more we gush our real feelings for the blog warrior.

I know I'm squinting out of one eye and weaving back and forth as I struggle for the right words. But simplicity is best in matters where feelings are utterly sincere. You've been one hell of a friend, MT. You've been a life-changing friend and the very definition of uncompromising loyalty. You always manage to pull new batches of enthusiasm from deep pockets when my own is flagging. I owe Sole21.jpgyou tremendously for all you've done. I can't deliver a Bette Midler song or send a strip-o-gram. But at the very least, I can embarrass you in the blog. I mean, is that the mark of a true friend or what?

A toast! Drink heartily and regurgitate Mainetarr stories into the wee hours. Here's to her relentless spirit. Here's to her magnificent charm. Here's to her boundless pursuit of joy and the infectiousness of that trait. Here's to all things Mainetarr. Now, if anybody needs me, I'll be hiding. I promised her I wouldn't mention it.



  1. Martha said,

    Mark.. you chicken… bock.. bock… you can run, but you can’t hide.. we’ll find you, have no doubt..
    MT.. have a good one.

  2. jarheaddoc said,

    Now I know why MT is so in love with the dog! They share the same birthday! Or something close like it. I mean, when you get as old and cranky as MT, what’s the space of a few days on a calendar when it comes to birthdays?

  3. K2 said,

    Happy Birthday, Mainetarr. I’d hug you, but I still have vomit breath and feces all over my clothes. What the hell happened last night? All I remember is Mark stripping naked and giving you and the girls a psuedo-Chippendale’s performance. The man has moves, no doubt.

    Anyhow, I woke up in the gutter outside the Lost Sole with one of those pointy party hats shoved in my keister. Looks like I was into the beers enemas again.

    Regardless, enjoy the day — that’s an order.

  4. jarheaddoc said,

    K2, you are a thief of blog names! Asshat put a lot of time and effort into thinking up that name, and you got out and do it. Shameful!

  5. K2 said,

    Come again?

  6. AO said,

    Happy Birthday to you
    Happy Birthday to you
    Happy Birthday Dear Gai-LAH
    Happy Birthday to YOU!!
    And…maaaany more!

  7. Martha said,

    Ditto what AO said.

  8. jarheaddoc said,

    It’s not funny if I have to explain it to you, but I will anyway Asshat= hat in the ass. Did they Astroglide that for you on insertion?

  9. Linda said,

    Hey, have a great day, MT.

  10. K2 said,

    No, MT used a shop vac to forcibly extricate any and all moisture from my stink star, then she threw in a hand full of sand for good measure, before she finally crammed the asshat home.

    And if you put two of those party hats on your chest, you’ll look like pointy-titted Madonna. Like a Virgin? Like Madonna would have any clue about that, the skank.

  11. Robert said,


    Happy B’day enjoy…some of us have ordered the walker and support stockings for you, as you’re getting closer to that age, and just wanted you to know, I’m saving you a bed in one of my nursing homes!

  12. Mainetarr said,

    Wow, thanks you guys. Muahhhhhhhhh love to all of yah!! Thanks for keeping my birthday quiet Mark. Bastard.

    Sorry about the actual asshat K2, I swear I had nothing to do with the sawdust in the Astroglide. Must have been Treehugger. AO (and Martha)- thanks for the song and for the heads up that I was the subject of the blog today. Hope none of you ran off screaming when that pic came up on your screen!! LOL Yeeesh… I am now officially twenty-nineteen. (39) Jarhead, I am old and cranky, it is true, but only about 5% of the time. Other than that, I am a happy camper. Mark, even though you’re a shit and told on me, I really do appreciate what you said. I can’t believe what good friends we have become and all the fun we have. We are two goobers in a pod, no doubt about it. But I wouldn’t change this pod for anything! Thanks you guys, I will be back to give you all a hard time in a little while. Muahhhhhh!

  13. Mainetarr said,

    Thanks Robert….that’s mighty white of you. Bastard. (lol) You know what the coolest part of this blog is? Mark actually got a picture of Dan saying he loves me. Priceless.

  14. "The Weasel" said,

  15. K2 said,

    I’m ‘Hugh Lottatang.’ Makes me feel whole. (Pun intended.)

  16. jarheaddoc said,

    K2, I hear what you’re saying about Madonna, but being a skank doesn’t make her a bad girl, does it? I get the feeling that you wouldn’t pass on her, given the chance, even if she is older than MT.

  17. K2 said,

    Yeah, she’s like 42 or somepin. Okay, okay, I’ll do here. But I’m double wrapping, for sure.

  18. jarheaddoc said,

    I have always thought that the person who invents the complete body condom would get rich. I agree: Madonna would be a double wrap, for sure

  19. Robert said,

    Mainetarr, I can tell you that Jean/Dan never looked that good, trust me if thats Dan its a Glamour shots pose for sure..

    So a couple senility questions for your birthday…anyone care to try them out, we offer these to folks being placed in our facilities.

    1. You are in a marathon and just passed the person in 2nd place – what position does that put you in?

    2. You are in a marathon and you pass the person in last place – what position does that put you in?

    3. Mary’s father has 5 daughters – Nana, Nini, Nene & Nono, whats the 5th one named?

    4. A mute man goes to a store to buy a toothbrush, and has to pantomime the act of brushing his teeth for the clerk to know what he needs – pretend your a blind man or woman – how would you tell the clerk you need sunglasses?

  20. Martha said,

    1. 2nd
    2. I think you’d still be in last place. If you’re in the race, how can you “pass” the person in last place unless you are that person.
    3. Her name is Mary.
    4. You’d speak up and say it.. you’re blind not mute.

  21. Mainetarr said,

    Thanks Weasel, my official porn star name is now Tonya Spankadocious. Can’t wait to try my gangster name. LOL

    1. You are in second place.
    2. Second to last?
    3. Mary
    4. Ask him for sunglasses? He can talk, right?

  22. Mainetarr said,

    Gangster name: Fried Red Green Snapper
    Pirate Name: Cap’n Monica Fatass
    Mafia Name: Swimmin With the Fish Maker

  23. jarheaddoc said,

    Mary and Bill are patients in a nursing home. Mary states that she will hold Bill’s penis if he sits next to her at the movie that night. Bill of course does this. Mary makes the same offer the night next, only for bill to decline, stating Emma made him the same offer. Mary asks, “What does she have that I don’t?” Bill answers “Parkinson’s.”

  24. Bobbie said,

    Have a good one, MT. Just remember to share the photos so that we can all enjoy them!

  25. jarheaddoc said,

    How’s the weather out there, bobbie?

  26. jarheaddoc said,

    It usually improves greatly around here around 0815 Monday through Friday: that’s when the kids get on the bus

  27. Mainetarr said,

    Thanks Bobbie!! How are you doing this morning? I am taking the day off, although I will eventually find my way to the office to make sure all is well.

  28. jarheaddoc said,

    You mean to feed Chloe Elise, MT. You’ve never needed an excuse to do anythng in your life

  29. Mainetarr said,

    Chloe is back home with her doggie momma. Yesterday was just a gift for me, I think. I am going to visit the little munchkin on Saturday. Today I am hooking up with AO for a while. You off today jarhead?

  30. jarheaddoc said,

    Yes. I am just prolonging the inevitability of the honey do list by sitting here and using up way too much of my time in the hopes that Linda will appear at some point and chastise my principles

  31. Mainetarr said,

    She is usually on at night, you will have to catch her then. K2, Brenda, Martha, Robert, Bobbie, and AO are the daytime regulars. They will give you a run for your money, jarhead. Once in a while there will be someone we don’t know who pops in, too, I think they just sit back and watch. Penny is a closet blogger. She reads but doesn’t post. LOL

  32. jarheaddoc said,

    I will keep that in mind. I have to sgn off for now, as I have consumed way too much soda this morning and must commit an act of micturition. I will sign on later. Have a good day.

  33. Robert said,

    Geez Jarhead, I think Mark posted a warning that we should not use words with more than 9 letters in them for fear of wearing out our skin as we scratch our heads…but hey who am I to say…

    I’m just glad I have a job where I have time to check in and keep things going here, you folks give me a chuckle and make me think and thats a good thing…

  34. jarheaddoc said,

    I had to pee, Robert. I just like to use that word not only because it’s one of the few long ones I can correctly say and spell, but also because it makes people think I am doing something dirty that they would like to watch, so long as no one caught them doing it.

  35. Bobbie said,

    To answer everyone’s questions, I’m doing ok. Right now, we’re getting some much needed rain so I won’t have to water the grass later today. May not be on too much today because we’re suppose to have thunderstorms during the day. Thankfully, my system is the one that’s hooked up to the surge protector/battery back up.

    Enjoy your day off, MT, and don’t have too much fun!

  36. brenda said,

    MT- how do you know if someone reads without posting?

  37. Linda said,

    Why would you choose Thursday night when I’m not home, and during the day when I’m at work, to bait me? I’m sputtering to respond but it will have to wait. Regard this as the calm before the storm. And for the record, I grew up in Maine and have no problem with coyotes following their nature. Their natures are probably nicer than yours, jarhead.

  38. Bobbie said,

    Watch out, jarhead, now you’ve got Linda going. You’ll be in for it later.

  39. LaFlamme said,

    What? Is everyone still sober around here?

  40. AO said,

    Well, I just came from a funeral and, lunch with the birthday girl. She drank iced tea and I had lemon water. So, I’m still sober. Too bad.

  41. Richie said,

    Found Dan / Jean; he’s down at the beach

  42. LaFlamme said,

    It’s an outrage! You should’ve been drunk before noon.

  43. LaFlamme said,

    Ha! He’s got reverse peepee going on, a phenomenon where the male genitalia is measured in negative integers.

  44. AO said,

    I think he’s just got a strong case of shrinkage going on. I know, we should have gotten hammered. Should have cracked that bottle of “Old Fart” I got for the birthday girl.

  45. Richie said,

    Found Dan / Jeans Mom too. She’s so nice ! No really !! She runs a day care centwe

  46. LaFlamme said,

    Hey, I have preferred customer status with that lady. She rocks. Get it? Rocks? Like a baby? Ah, I got nuthin.

  47. Richie said,

    And, last but certainly not least, found Dan / Jeans daddy.

    This way, when ask “Who’s yer daddy ?”, well, we’ll know !!

  48. Richie said,

    Oh ya, by the way, here’s his three fugly twin sisters

  49. Bobbie said,

    Check out the babysitting site-it’s interesting, to say the least!

  50. Bobbie said,

    The picture of Dan/Jean’s “daddy” would explain a lot!

  51. Richie said,

    Dan went to a party the other day:

  52. LaFlamme said,

    Ha! Gross.

  53. jarheaddoc said,

    Jean and bobbie, I will just have to put on my bullet proof underwear and suffer whatever slings and arrows come my way.

  54. LaFlamme said,

    So, I got a package left at my desk today. Turns out it’s a plate full of fudge with an accompanying card. In the card, is a note from the wife of a man whose arrest I recently wrote about for the paper. The card is addressed to Mark LaFlamme and his editors and says: “please accept this gift to show that there are no hard feelings for the article you wrote…”
    The question is: eat the fudge and risk a diabolical retribution? Or just give it to the editors and see what happens?

  55. K2 said,

    Maybe make it a reality show: Fudge Factor.

  56. K2 said,

    By the way, the arrest of the husband wasn’t for public sodomy, was it? Take about Hershy Highway fudge sludge.

  57. Richie said,

    Isn’t that what editors are for ?

    I’m SURE they’d just LOVE a piece of Helen Russell fudge , , , ,

  58. LaFlamme said,

    The obit guy tried a piece. We’re all waiting to see if he keels over.

  59. AO said,

    Well, what flavor is it? If it’s anything but chocolate, I’d chuck it.

    K2, “Fudge Factor”…ha.

  60. Bobbie said,

    You may have now gotten on LInda’s bad side by refering to her as “Jean”. I’m sure that the slip was unintentional on your part. LOL

  61. jarheaddoc said,

    Linda, I sincerely apologize for that slip with a name! I seldom forget a face, but I horrible with names. Now you know why I go by jarhead: the old head is in a jar. I know, you’re thinking it’s somewhere else….

  62. Mainetarr said,

    Toss the fudge, Mark. There are a lot of sickos in the world, you know. Just look at all the pics of Dan’s family Richie found. Those just about did me in. Yuk!

    Yes AO, we should have drank the wine. We should have drank it all.

  63. Gil said,

    Happy Bday MT
    Sorry I have been absent, out of town working
    Hey K2, if electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

  64. Gil said,

    If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

  65. Gil said,

    If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

  66. Gil said,

    Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

  67. Gil said,

    Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

  68. Linda said,

    Jeez, I didn’t think Friday was ever gonna get here this week. Looks like I missed some fisticuffs, but everyone’s still standing, eh?
    Mainetarr, hope you had a great day so far. You’re a star! Hope your twenty-nineteenth year is great all the way through.
    Mark, how could you even think of eating that fudge? You are one brave hombre.
    Anyhow, que pasa?

  69. Mainetarr said,

    Thanks for the wishes Gil and thanks for making me sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star for the rest of the evening. Bastard.

    Thanks Weasel for the earlier post. And thank you too Linda. You got your gloves on, Linda? I hear pecker…uh, I mean jarhead is looking for a fight.

  70. Linda said,

    Lock and load.

  71. jarheaddoc said,

    MT is stirring turds, Linda, and laughing her butt off. As I suspect you have read the rest of this daily morass of comments, I do have my bullet proof underwear on

  72. AO said,

    Gil, the baby oil thing…. makes me want to gag.

  73. Mainetarr said,

    I wanna know where Grape Nuts come from.

  74. jarheaddoc said,

    In the spirit of celebrating your birthday, you old turd stirring wench, they come from old wrinkly people in nursing homes. Grapes make raisins, raisins are old people, so if you do some imaginary math and a secret handshake, it makes sense. If that makes sense to you, we have openings where I work

  75. AO said,

    MT, Grape Nuts come from ….nutty grapes. That’s all I’ve got. Or, they could come form purple guys, I guess.

  76. Linda said,

    Jarhead, please don’t mention your underwear any more, I just had dinner. You are quite the disgust-o-rama, aren’t you?

  77. jarheaddoc said,

    Why are you imagining me in my underwear, Linda?

  78. Gil said,

    jarheaddoc, I have been reading your posts and so far I don’t get it. I think you’re trying to be amusing, but you come across as juvenile, giggling over your use of bad words. You remind me of another Fat Bastard that lives at *** Main St. Join him and the two of you can sit around in your underwear making rude, unfunny comments about everyone.

  79. Linda said,

    See, it’s not just me jarhead.

  80. AO said,

    Jarhead, Believe me, nobody here wants to imagine you in your underwear. Perish the thought!

  81. Linda said,

    AO, you are sort of our archivist — can you tell us who this crazy jarhead is?

  82. jarheaddoc said,

    I hear MT laughing at me. My turn on the hot seat, huh?

  83. AO said,

    Archivist? Me?? Thanks, Linda. Don’t know who Jarhead is but, I do know that he’s a newbie. ūüėČ I don’t ever remember him ’round these parts. BUT..I’m pretty sure I’ll figure out who he/she is.

  84. Bobbie said,

    AO is pretty good at figuring out who the posters are when they use alias’. It may take her a few days to get it, but eventually, she’ll nail ya.

  85. Bobbie said,

    What is up with this slow down cowboy stuff? My first post in hours and I get it?!

  86. AO said,

    It means you’re riding your horse too fast. So…slow down cowboy…or..cowgirl.

  87. K2 said,

    Gil, I’m sorry, brother, but this one’s for you:

    WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. (AP) – Rush Limbaugh was arrested Friday on prescription drug charges, law enforcement officials said.

    Limbaugh turned himself in to authorities on a warrant issued by the state attorney’s office, said agency spokeswoman Teri Barbera.

    The conservative radio commentator came into the jail at about 4 p.m. with his attorney Roy Black and was released an hour later on $3,000 bail, Barbera said.

    The warrant was for fraud to conceal information to obtain prescription, Barbera said.

  88. K2 said,

    Of course, I’ll be the first to admit that percs are delicious. Two of those and a six pack? Feels like a freshly minted hundred-dollar bill.

  89. Linda said,

    My livestock update for the day: we just took some ticks off my dog. That’s always fun. But better ticks than porcupines or skunks, he’s had ’em all.

    MT, got any good music going on with that keyboard?

  90. AO said,

    Hmm…never had a freshly minted hundred dollar bill or, percs. So, tell me K2, how DOES it feel? I’ve never had a job with percs.

  91. Linda said,

    Something funny with my computer (as usual) — I only see new posts when i submit a post of my own. So you can expect non sequiturs from me all night I guess. You know how i like to follow an agenda ūüôā so this might be good therapy.

  92. jarheaddoc said,

    Linda, tell me more about getting rid of those ticks. I am being serious. I gather that you have farm animals of some sort and deal with this problem during tick season? The dog has enough problems without Lyme disease

  93. Gil said,

    That’s the best you got K2?
    A case that they have been trying to get anything out of for over 3 years and they finally get an arrest on fraud to conceal info? You should have read the rest of the story, itwill all be dropped in 18 months as long as Rush goes to counselling. Don’t get me wrong, I am certainly not defending him for what he did, but really, that’s it?
    That’s just sad.

  94. jarheaddoc said,

    Unfortunately, the Limbaugh case is a sad commentary on what being a celebrity in this country enables you to get out of. An average person with few financial resources would not be able to afford Roy Black as his or her mouthpiece and would be doing hard time somewhere

  95. Linda said,

    Farm animals!! Christ no. I grew up in rural Maine and by some whimsy of fate, I’m back in rural Maine. The Maine part is fine, but when i wake up to that fucking rooster next door I think, where’s the city? sidewalk cafes? repertory theater? season tickets to the symphony? dry cleaners that pick up your stuff at your office? galleries and museums? I could go on but I’ll make myself maudlin again like last weekend. That’s my other life, it’s behind me for now at least, and once I’m fully awake, it works for me to embrace the life I’m in.
    And no dog on the planet, ‘cept maybe Bailey and Chloe/Elise, has a better life than mine. He landed on his feet when he came to our family from the shelter.
    We scoop the ticks out with a little spoon shaped thing with a notch.

  96. jarheaddoc said,

    Your use of the words mate and slag make me wonder if your were from across the pond, or maybe had spent some time there as a displaced colonist

  97. Linda said,

    Yes, the latter. I was part of the rain-dancing fringe in the Antipodes.

  98. LaFlamme said,

    Has anyone seemed LaFlamme since he got that suspicious fudge? I’m worried that he might have… wait a minute. Am I LaFlamme? Christ, these hallucinations are raucous.

  99. AO said,

    I thought I “seemed” to know LaFlamme. But, since he recieved that suspicious fudge, maybe I don’t “seemed” to know him like I thought I did. So, tell us all, what kind of fudge was it? Hope it wasn’t peanut butter..ugh.

  100. jarheaddoc said,

    Ever see any more of Europe? I spent six months in the Mediterranean Sea. I was with the marines, not ship’s company, so we at least got off the boat every so often, to go to the field. The British marines were quite a group of people: warm beer in the field and the best field rations I’d ever eaten.

  101. Linda said,

    No, Jarhead, I was across the big pond, down under. I never spent much time in GB or Europe.

  102. LaFlamme said,

    It IS peanut butter. And it’s going fast now that it was deemed safe.

  103. Linda said,

    And BTW they have warm beer down under, too. Damn good beer. And the most wonderful wine.

  104. jarheaddoc said,

    Sorry about that: getting an Aussie and a Brit mixed up is a big faux pas! I seem to have gotten my moral compass straight, but my sense of direction is shit.

  105. Linda said,

    Oh God, now Mark’s got a sugar rush. Brace yourselves!

  106. AO said,

    Hate peanut butter fudge. It’s like eating sugar out of a bowl. Yuck, yuck, yuck.

  107. jarheaddoc said,

    MT has been suspiciously quiet for way too long

  108. Linda said,

    Please — New Zealand.
    Once when unemployment was up in NZ, someone asked the prime minister what he thought about the large number of people moving from NZ to Australia. He said it was fine with him, it raised the average IQ in both countries.
    Oh damn, those cowboy messages again.

  109. AO said,

    Linda, I’ve had some wines from down under. Very good wines. I sell some in my store. MT and I were talking today about going to a wine tasting together sometime. If you’d be interested in coming to the “big city” and joining us, let us know. We’d love to have you along.

  110. jarheaddoc said,

    I told you that my sense of direction is shit, Linda. Isn’t it summer like all year down there, at least along the coast lines? I’m not sure I’d want to come back and be ass deep in snow for a typical Maine winter if that was the case

  111. Linda said,

    AO, can’t think of anything better. If the lobster rolls weren’t tempting enough, the thought of those stony sauv blancs makes my head reel. If I were in my other life still, I’d be sitting in my favorite pub right now, like every Friday night, buying a bottle to pass around with my mates.
    Not that there’s anything wrong with spending Friday night with you all, it’s my new favorite Friday night thing.

  112. jarheaddoc said,

    Linda, a little bit of mind wracking trivia for you about bar songs from down under. There is some song that is about a guy who served in Vietnam and came back very disillusioned and it’s supposed to be a very popular song down under. I got this infor from a web site about the meanings of songs

  113. Linda said,

    Great snow and skiing in the mountains, Jarhead, but temperate along the coast. Cold in the morning — well, MAYBE down to freezing — but leave your jackets in the office when you go out for a picnic lunch in the public gardens. I know, public gardens would sound insalubrious around here, but it was heaven in my favorite city. And if i were to list my reasons for coming back to Maine, missing winter wouldn’t make the cut.

  114. LaFlamme said,

    Actually, I don’t have a sugar high. I’ve had no fudge, no complex sugars from hooch. Frankly, I need something. I’m gonna hit Dunking Donuts or the crackhouse around the corner.

  115. AO said,

    Hey, we all have a favorite pub. Not that I have one out of this country or, state! I’m not that well traveled. But, what you’ve described as one of your Friday nights…sounds like a lot of fun. Tell me. Have you ever lived in Ireland? A Friday night , in a pub in Ireland, sounds like a lot of fun to me.

  116. Linda said,

    I don’t know the song, Jarhead. Since it’s Friday night and the knives don’t seem to be flicking, I’ll put myself out there and say that I’m a pacifist. It’s like being color blind: I just don’t notice or pick up on military references. I don’t have the context for it.
    But Australia and NZ made a huge manpower contribution to the Vietnam war, relative to their population, and to WW I and II — and also there’s a very strong peace movement presence. So the song you describe would catch a lot of attention down under.

  117. Linda said,

    I’ve never lived in Ireland, AO, though I’ve drunk many pints of their beer. Someone here must have lived in Ireland? Who can tell us about that?

  118. jarheaddoc said,

    There is nothing wrong with being a pacifist. I served my time to protect the rights of everyone else to live freely. I am certainly not for this whole war in iraq, but I do beleive that every service person over there deserves our support

  119. AO said,

    Sad to say but, not me. I don’t know of any of us bloggers ever living in Ireland.

  120. Linda said,

    I couldn’t agree more, Jarhead. My nephew just came back from Iraq last week, and we killed the fatted calf.

  121. Linda said,

    AO, where ever you move, you take yourself with you. So with you in it, L-A is the grandest place on earth.

  122. jarheaddoc said,

    I hope he came back whole physically and mentally. What branch of the military?

  123. Linda said,

    Physically whole, yes. Mentally, we’ll see.
    Remember what I said about context? I hardly know what he did. Some army thing. His father said he repaired Humvees. His mother said he stood up in the hatch of a tank and held a rifle while the convoys were out on the roads. I like his father’s story better, and his mother was drunk at the time, so maybe there’s hope for his mental health.

  124. jarheaddoc said,

    The unfortunate part of that whole deal is that everyone who goes over there, at least in certain areas, has to fight, including a lot of very brave women. I have never subscribed to the theory that women should not serve in combat. It’s a context thing, like you say: if a person is capable of doing the job, let him or her do it, I was fortunate to never see combat, even though I was an aid man with the marines

  125. jarheaddoc said,

    I think MT has abandoned us. Maybe she’d at DD with Mark and AO

  126. Linda said,

    Guess you are right. Maybe you should join them, is that where you are? L-A?
    I was just telling AO by email that I’ve got a huge project on at work this month and by the time I get home, it’s auto-pilot time. Since I can’t get to DD, maybe I will look for something to do around here, check in with this bunch later.

  127. Gil said,

    MT walks into a pharmacy and tentatively approaches the pharmacist. The pharmacist, seeing her hesitancy, asks if there is anything that he can do for her. She asks him in a quiet voice, “Do you carry extra large condoms?” He points to where they are and asks if she wants to purchase a box. She says, “No, but do you mind if I wait here until someone does?”

  128. Linda said,

    Gil walks into his bedroom and finds his wife in bed with another man. He reaches into the drawer and pulls out a gun, and holds it to his head. His wife screams, no, no, don’t do it, if you have to shoot someone, shoot me, I deserve it more than you. Gil says, don’t worry, you’re next.

  129. jarheaddoc said,

    You guys have a good night. I have no other jokes other than the one I submitted earlier.

  130. Bobbie said,

    I know that I’m a few subjects behind, but I have lived in Germany and Korea. Some awesome brew in both countries. You do need to stay away from the Oscar and soju(?) tho-those 2 beverages will embalm you from the inside out.

  131. AO said,

    Never heard of them but, I will stay away from them. Thanks for the heads up, Bobbie! Don’t want to be embalmed from the inside out!

  132. Linda said,

    Hi Bobbie, I’m still swooping by the computer now and then, nice to have company.
    How did you like Korea? Could you take the kim chee? It must be an acquired taste, I think. A Korean friend gave us some kind of booze from a vending machine, you pop something in the top of the can and mix the 2 liquids together, and it’s like fire. Not sure what it was called but in could incinerate you

  133. AO said,

    Like human combustion? Ha. Sounds like a good drink! Barkeep!!

  134. Gil said,

    Good beer song for Friday & MT’s bday

  135. Linda said,

    Fire water all around!

  136. Bobbie said,

    I enjoyed Korea very much. Itaewon took some getting used to tho-the butcher shops were different, to say the least. Nothing like walking thru the market area and coming face to face with a whole fish hanging on a string on the corner of the stalls. I could take the mild kim chee, but wouldn’t go near the hot stuff. I have to admit that I don’t know what you’re talking about with the drink. The strongest thing I ever had while I was there was a Silver Bowl.

    We do have a running joke in our house that our daughter’s next tattoo should be a little tag on the back of her neck that says “Made In Korea”. For some odd reason, she’ll never let me take her near a tattoo parlor when we’re together.

  137. Linda said,

    Just reprising the last few hours — I thought I was going to have to slice and dice Jarhead tonight, but he turned out pretty tame after all.
    Oh well, maybe next time.

  138. Bobbie said,

    It will be interesting to see you do that, Linda.

  139. Linda said,

    My husband’s family used to call me Electric Knife Woman but I’m mellower now, I think I may be a lot harder to fight with. I might have the inclination, but I’m much more interested in the other person’s point of view; don’t have the focus. Raising a family, being the conciliator, all that turning away wrath, you know what I mean?

  140. Bobbie said,

    Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. Sorry, had to run to the store real.

  141. Linda said,

    Bobbie, how was your road trip with your MIL? Tests go OK?

  142. Bobbie said,

    Tests went fine. We both managed to survive it (lol). We’ll find out the results on the 2nd and see what’s going on with her. Thanks for asking.

  143. Linda said,

    Glad it went OK. Sounded stressful

  144. LaFlamme said,

    Hey, someone want to tell me if this works? It’s giving me the fits.

  145. Bobbie said,

    Stressful is a good way to describe the trip. It’s always interesting when I have to take her somewhere.

  146. Bobbie said,

    Mark, it has to be you because it came up for me with no problem at all. I hate to say this, but the rest of the family was not too enthused to hear your wonderful voice tonight-they’re more interested Stargate SG-1. Sorry.

  147. LaFlamme said,

    Well, I’m not surprised. Especially with that hickish Maine accent I have going. Gawd, it’s awful.

  148. Linda said,

    Works for me, Mark. Our family expression for playing a song too fast (a family tendency) is “pants on fire.” Not so much pants on fire here, I was happy to hear. Good interview, thanks for sharing!

  149. Bobbie said,

    When I talk to some of my relatives back home, I have a problem understanding some of the things they say. They think it’s funny when i go, ‘Huh?”

  150. LaFlamme said,

    Wait, wait. How can you play a song too fast?

  151. Bobbie said,

    Don’t give him any ideas, Linda.

  152. Linda said,

    I think what happens is this: they aren’t sure they’re going to remember all the words and all the chords, and as they get closer to the end of the song they’re like racers with the finish line in sight, they’re so glad to be finishing creditably that they pour on the power and go faster and faster. The whole family does it.

  153. Bobbie said,

    Thanks, Linda, now he’s going to do that for his next interview. He will, atleast, remember to blame you for that happening, but we’ll have to listen to his whining about it for a week or so.

    Can’t you just feel the love oozing all over the place right now?

  154. Linda said,

    Hey, he can’t possibly blame me. His main complaint about his interviewing technique is that he power talks. Doesn’t he always ask if he talked too fast? I thought that’s what he wanted from us tonight — listen to the interview and tell him he didn’t talk too fast. It’s the first interview I heard, so I was relieved he didn’t talk as fast as my brothers in law sing.

  155. Bobbie said,

    Listen to the CNN interview then. Now he’s going to be so self conscious about the way that he talks in the interviews that it’s going to be a wonder he doesn’t do the start and stop thing all the way thru!

  156. Linda said,

    OK, was it on the CNN interview that Mark thought he talked too fast? I’ll grant you, it was a bit “pacy”, but it’s not me that said so, because I only listened to it just now.. So Bobbie, I’m not sure how that’s my fault, but if it is, then Mark, mea culpa. Try to put any thought of me right out of your head at all your interviews, then I’m sure everything will be fine. In fact, if you think it would help, I could drown myself in the river tomorrow. What do you think?

    That would be a bit more of the oozing love you were mentioning, Bobbie. Have I captured it, do you think?

  157. Bobbie said,

    It was the CNN interview. It would only be your fault if he did the “race to the finish” thing that your family does with songs in his next interview. That’s what I was talking about earlier. Sorry for the confusion. You’re getting close to capturing the oozing love thing we all have going for Mark. It won’t be too much longer before you have it down pat.

  158. Linda said,

    OK, I get it, he was overcoming the “pants on fire” interview style but now I’ve reinforced it. My bad. All I can say is, I’ve had decades of laughs listening to songs speed by, and there isn’t much better than that. Drinking beer and arguing about the words to Irish ballads. Putting my babies to bed next door to raucous, loving kitchen parties. Watching these six brothers grow up (sort of) and do very different things with their lives, but always do this thing together. It’s a blessing. So if I say to Mark that his pants were on fire in an interview, I’m smiling while I say it, and hoping he can pack as much satisfaction into a minute and six seconds as possible. Not that I doubt he will, you know.
    Crap, there I go again. Not fair to rant and run, but goodnight, all

  159. LaFlamme said,

    Ah, I tend to talkreallyfast in every day conversation, too. Good thing around here, the pixels space themselves out perfectly so I carry on at a homogenized pace. Or some such thing.

  160. Gil said,

    Glad to see I’m not the only one still up

  161. LaFlamme said,

    Man, I’m here until dawn, typically. I don’t always look in here because the joint is usually deserted by midnight.

  162. Gil said,

    Up playing poker and updating my blog

  163. LaFlamme said,

    Dammit, there should be a joke there, but danged if I can nail it down. Poker and blogging, two great… Ah, I got nuthin.

  164. K2 said,

    Gil, I was just bustin gyou, man. But it’s Rush’s fame and $30,000 that’s keeping him outof real trouble.

    Anyhow, I just ordered Rush’s and my plane tickets to Mexico, land of legal drugs. Es muy bueno!

  165. Mainetarr said,

    Sorry I was MIA last night. Ended up at a bonfire in Poland till late and eating birthday cake. AO, the Old Fart wine is gooooooood! Thanks. Jarhead, if you keep crapping on me and my age (twenty-nineteen) I am going to have to kick your ass. Don’t make me do it, because you know I can.

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