When the Music’s Over

May 6, 2006 at 1:53 am (Uncategorized)

THE DOORS.jpgYou know how several radio stations each January air their annual rock off and call it the Superbowl of Rock 'n Roll or some damn thing? And how infuriating it is when your favorite band gets trounced by some gaggle of girly musicians from a country you've never heard of? I hear your pain, man. And with that in mind, I figure it's time that we sort through the quagmire and come up with our own battle of the bands. Some of these are no-brainers, but some are tough as hell. But remember: there is no shame here. If you earnestly believe that Hall & Oates should win it all, I encourage you to vote that way. I also encourage you to quit drinking.

Concrete-Blonde.jpg Acooper.jpg Skynard.jpg Clash.jpg

The Beatles vs.Rolling Stones

Led Zepplin vs. AC/DC

The Doors vs. Credence Clearwater Revival

Deep Purple vs. Queen

Yes vs. Alan Parson's Project

Radiohead vs. Dave Matthews

Ozzy Osbourne vs. Meatloaf

Nirvana vs. Pearl Jam

Billy Joel vs. Bob Seger

ZZ Top vs. .38 Special

Journey vs. REO Speedwagon

Sting vs. John Cougar Menstrual Cramp

Abba vs. The Carpenters

Lynard Skynard vs.Eagles

Foreigner vs. Survivor

Twisted Sister vs.Quiet Riot

Metallica vs.Aerosmith

Pink Floyd vs. The Moody Blues

Heart vs. The Pretenders

Billy Squire vs. Tom Petty

Devo vs. The Knack

Concrete Blond vs. Janis Joplin

Red Hot Chilly Peppers vs.Spin Doctor

Styx vs. Boston

Black Crowes vs. The Smithereens

The Go Go's vs. The B52s

Black Sabbath vs. Judas Priest

Springsteen vs. Eric Clapton

Cream vs. Korn


Sinead O'Connor vs. Olivia Newton John

Hall & Oates vs. Michael Bolton

Bob Marley vs. Bob Dylan vs. Bob Denver

Alice Cooper vs. Alice in Chains

J. Geils vs.Bad Company

Michael Jackson vs. Prince

Motley Crue vs. Van Halen

Billy Idol vs. George Thorogood

Steve Miller vs. America

Kiss vs. Peter Frampton

Kool & the Gang vs. KC and the Sunshine Band

Poison vs. Cinderella

The Kinks The Who

Live vs. The Smashing Pumpkins

Santana vs. BB King

Godsmack vs. Nine Inch Nails

The Allman Brothers vs. Johnny Cash

Van Morrison vs. Elvis

Bare Naked Ladies vs. Green Day

The Bangles vs. The Go Go's

The Clash vs. The Sex Pistols

Pat Benetar vs. Cindy Lauper


Journey.jpg kinks.JPG Boss.jpg halloates.jpg

The only rule to the voting is that there ain't no rules. Shine on, you crazy diamonds.


  1. Linda said,

    I’ll have music in my head all day —

    the hardest choice there is between Abba and the Carpenters. That’ll take some soul searching.

    Have fun, I hope to learn much more about music tonight when I read the days comments. Gil, what do you think, Sting or J C Mellencamp? Ha!!

  2. Bobbie said,

    I’d pick Abba over the Carpenters any day.

  3. jarheaddoc said,

    Hot swedish women vs. an anorexic whose relationship with her brother was suspect? I second the motion, bobby. And Pat Benatar’s kung Fu is better than Cindy Lauper’s anyday, anywhere. Pat could kick Lou Albano’s ass.
    Mark, you can’t compare The Allman Brothers to Johnny Cash unless it’s done in the context of wht they did for drugs, and then it would be a fifty-fifity thing.

  4. Poison Pen said,

    Smithereens Rule!!!!!!!

  5. Squiggy said,

    How about the Bodeans vs. the Hooters.

    A KO for the boys from Waukesha

    Or, Speedo and the Spastic Elastic vs. the Butthole Surfers

  6. Linda said,

    Some of those choices are tough!

    I’m liking the Clash and Van Morrison, make fun if you like. I’m just saying — in the “old days” Van was always a shortcut to my, er, my heart.

    I’m liking the Moody Blues and Bob Marley, but not keen to vote against Bob Dylan and Pink Floyd.

    No Cream? I’m liking Cream so I’ll pick them anyhow as a write in.

    Jeez, I’m trying to work here and all I can think about is music. (Translation: thanks, you all are saving my life this weekend. Talk to me, please. )

  7. Mainetarr said,

    Wow, my hardest choices are Bare Naked Ladies vs Greenday-I like them both-a lot. And after thinking it over, I’ll take the Eagles over Skynyrd. Abba, all day long over the Carpenters. KC and the Sunshine Band (shake shake shake, shake your booty), Santana and BB King is a tie, Clapton is a no brainer-Springsteen sucks! I, of course, pick Kiss, Nirvana, Van Halen (not Van Hagar), Alice in Chains, Kinks, Queen, and Ozzy. Meatloaf is a douchebag.

  8. AO said,

    What do you mean, Springsteen sucks?

  9. AO said,

    And, who the hell is Survivor? What did they ever record?

  10. jarheaddoc said,

    You could combine poison and cinderella and both bands still wouldn’t be able to beat Cher. That woman has more ways to reinvent herself than she does tatoos on her ass! And Journey vs. REO? come on, those guys would need a crane to get them off the bench. They’d look like two old women in a nursing home having a slap fight to see who got to use the bedside shitter first! I’d really like to see The Bangles and Wilson Phillips have a fight in Jello, though

  11. LaFlamme said,

    Bangles vs. Wilson Philips. Claaaaassic.

    Whoa! We have a Springsteen sucks vote! Mt, I don’t even know who you ARE anymore!

  12. LaFlamme said,

    How’re the Doors faring against Credence?

  13. AO said,

    You forgot to add J. Giels to the list. I’d have to pick The Doors over Credence. As for Springsteen vs. Clapton. I just don’t think I could vote on that one.

  14. LaFlamme said,

    Whoa! Love J. Geils! Stand by.

  15. Bobbie said,

    Did you know that they now have two miniature versions of Kiss? If I can remember where I put the photos, I’ll send it to you. I saw those photos and immediately thought of you.

  16. jarheaddoc said,

    Bay city Rollers vs. billy Squier. The contest there might be to see whose house they all went to so that nature could take its course

  17. jarheaddoc said,

    Mar, was it an intentional diss, or did you just forget to match up U2 with Dexies Midnight runners vs. Men without Hats

  18. LaFlamme said,

    Now we’re descending into the battle of the one-hit wonders. Although, Billy Squire ROCKED!

  19. jarheaddoc said,

    Sorry, just trying to get the ethnics out of a good old fashioned battle of American music, that’s all. speaking of which, maybe you could team up Sinead with ONJ and have the Aussie sing ‘I honestly love you” while she rips up a picture of the pope

  20. AO said,

    J. Geils vs. Foreigner? No brainer. J. Geils. And, again Mark, it’s JOHN Denver not, BOB Denver.

  21. LaFlamme said,

    Yeah, I had trouble matching Geils up. Foreigner has its fans, though.
    Someone just suggested N Sync versus Backstreet Boys. My friggin eyes, man.

  22. LaFlamme said,

    Gotta get Billy Squire in there.

  23. jarheaddoc said,

    What about Rainbow, Mark?

  24. jarheaddoc said,

    Billy Squier vs, Debby Boone, Mark! You ought to let the old fart hav an easy win to boost his confidence before he gets his ass handed to him by someone else!

  25. LaFlamme said,

    I was thinking Squire vs. Rick Springfield.
    And what about Devo vs. the Knack?

  26. jarheaddoc said,

    Bad Company, Mark! Please don’t let Johnny have died for nothing, that bottle of pills near his head! I’m listening to all the wind being broke today, and I want to hear him play!

  27. LaFlamme said,

    It’s up there. Which leads to the question: “Shooting Star” vs. “Jukebox Hero.”

  28. jarheaddoc said,

    Can you fit the Band and Bachman turner Overdrive in there somewhere?

  29. jarheaddoc said,

    Shooting star.

  30. AO said,

    Neither. They both stink.

  31. jarheaddoc said,

    This from the woman who doesn’t remember ‘eye of the tiger’ and what it did to ruin the career of Mr T.?!

  32. Linda said,

    I got wondering what DID happen to Mr T’s career after the Eye of the Tiger fiasco. I got as far as Veggie Tales and decided Jarheads’s post was 100% proven. (Not that I doubted you, mate)

  33. AO said,

    Eye of the Tiger? Is that what Survivor sang. GAWD, what an awful song. As for Mr. T., even if his (?) career is ruined, he had to have had enough gold around his neck to keep him living a very comfortable life style.

  34. jarheaddoc said,

    Linda, I know we got off to a bad start, but I am liking you more and more each day. Although I have no clue what you mean but the Veggie Tale comment and what you agreed with.

  35. jarheaddoc said,

    I would just like to nominate Lionel richie as someone to just kick around for lack of better things to do

  36. Linda said,

    Yes Jarhead, that was cryptic, I’m distracted because I’m at work. (I appreciate everyone’s efforts to distract and entertain, but that doesn’t mean I’m fool enough to open any links while I’m here, thanks anyhow )

    I googled Mr T for a quick look at his career and saw that he was in a Veggie Tales movie. Don’t you have some kids? maybe you don’t let them (or should I say make them) watch that stuff. Though I’ve survived a few Veggie Tales movies in my time.

    You certainly were a belligerent bugger toward me in the beginning. (Is that what you meant by a bad start?)

  37. jarheaddoc said,

    From the A team to Veggie Tales with Clubber lang in between. My kids only own one VT movie and I generally lose interest after the tomato plays the tuba. Now that’s both musical and magical talent, Linda! God, you have just run several days worth of blogs together! That is true artistic genius!
    And yes, to the second question

  38. AO said,

    I slept through a few Veggie Tales movies.

  39. jarheaddoc said,

    And that vegetable doesn’t even have any ears to hang that instrument from. Kinda makes you wonder….

  40. Linda said,

    As I said before, I’m usually paying way too much attention to the agenda.

  41. Linda said,

    As I said before, I’m usually paying way too much attention to the agenda. Today things are a little more organic (MBA-speak, eh?).

  42. Linda said,

    Jeez, now I have people sneaking up behind me and causing me to double-post. I hate that!

  43. jarheaddoc said,

    There is an art to hiding in plain site, Linda. I have to say see you guys later for a little while: I am finally getting to a project I’ve owed the wife for about ten years or so.
    And if we’re going tot alk about Elvis, that’s an entirely different subject for another blog, Mark. You could call it ‘Famous Celebrity Deaths’. Blue and bloated on the shitter with your pants down around your ankles would certainly be in the running for my vote!

  44. LaFlamme said,

    Nobody’s weighed in on the Beatles vs. Stones bout yet. That’s always the mother of all band battles. Can you imagine a real world fight such as this? Keith Richards, fresh from his fall from the palm tree, goes toe-to-toe with the ageless Paul McCartney.

  45. Gil said,

    The Beatles all over the Stones. Stones are great, but nowhere near the impact and range of the Fab Four. Zeppelin over AC/DC for the same reason. The Doors squeak out past CCR only due to originality, and balls. Queen winds asschaps down over Deep Purple – Quick, name 3 songs by Deep Purple, no google allowed. See what I mean. Yes and Alan Parsons cancel each other out as does Radiohead & Dave Matthews. More later

  46. LaFlamme said,

    Smoke on the water
    Made in Japan

  47. LaFlamme said,

    I’m with you all the way there, Gil. Except for the last listing. I gotta give Radiohead an edge over Dave Matthews. For inventiveness, for one thing. Those guys are somewhat twisted. You ever hear “Knives Out?”

  48. jarheaddoc said,

    The Beatles were a flash in the pan compared to the Rolling Stones. Have the Stones ever broken up? HUH?! And I don’t want to hear that Lennon was simply a tortured artist ahead of his time that no one understood! How many rolling Stones wives have recorded albums that even William Hung had to shake his head at? Even Julian Lennon was little more than a one hit wonder!

  49. Gil said,

    I said that they had more of an impact than the Stones. Both, in my opinion, are ok. But you have to admit that there are more influences from the Beatles than from the Stones. Flash in the pan? You really ought to back away from that crack pipe jd. Yoko was not a beatle, and I’m not really sure that she’s fully human, so she doesn’t count. Unless you want to include Bianca’s turn at politics backing Sandinista Ortega in Nicaragua. Didn’t turn out pretty.

  50. Gil said,

    Actual, on second thought Markk, I’ll give that decision to Dave Matthews. Simply due to the camper toilet dumping incident. That’s funny, I don’t care who you are.

  51. jarheaddoc said,

    Oh, gil, you’re entirely too easy to bait. I have a susppository for you, one full of person to another

  52. jarheaddoc said,

    It’s pretty easy to say the Beatles are better because they paved the way for a breakthrough in music in America. Kind of a sad commentary on American music that the Brits had to shake us loose, isn’t it, but I digress…. My point is that the entire music genre knock as rock and roll is an evolutionary process, and if it hadn’t been the Beatles, it would have been someone else

  53. jarheaddoc said,

    I meant to say full of shit person there, gil, but you know these damn computers: garbage in, garbage out

  54. Gil said,

    Ozzy over Meatloaf, due to sheer volume of work. Both had hits with their material, but Ozzy easily had more. Meatloaf had some great lyrics though.
    I thought Nirvana was Pearl Jam.
    Billy Joel over Bob Seger. After 10 songs, Seger’s stuff all sounds the same, and when a remake of one of your biggest hits is done by Metallica, and they do it better, it’s time to stop touring.
    I’ll have to give the win to the beards of ZZ over .38 Special.
    REO Speedwagon rocks, especially live, and Journey was made for teenage, angst-filled girls and confused boys like K2. 157 Riverside Av live is a great set.
    As we already know from last night, Sting is going to win this pairing handily. I like JC before he became to cool to be Cougar and had to be Mellencamp. But the win goes to Sting.
    ABBA? The Carpenters? Who the hell are they?
    Lynard Skynard was rock, the Eagles were the first adult contemporary group. No question that Skynard wins this pairing. Hotel California versus Freebird? No contest.

  55. Gil said,

    Hey these are only opinions jd. You know what they say, everyone has one, and yours stinks

  56. LaFlamme said,

    Gil, this is getting a little creepy, dude. I’m with you on just about everything there. Except the Dave Matthews thing. Close call, but I’ve got a thing for Radiohead.
    As for the Beatles, I used to get into long arguments with a buddy over this. He was a big Zepplin fan and I understand that. But as far as overall greatness and contribution, you gotta give a nod to the Fab Four. Hey, I don’t like it anymore than you do.

  57. Linda said,

    I just noticed AO’s comment JOHN Denver vs BOB Denver — good pickup, AO. I thought he was on again about Gilligan’s Island, that seems to come back around pretty often.

  58. LaFlamme said,

    Actually, I WAS talking about that Bob Denver. Hey, I’d been into this list for a while by then. I was getting dizzy. Besides, who’s to say Gilligan ain’t a rocker?

  59. Gil said,

    If Gilligan was a rocker, he would have nailed both Mary Ann and Ginger, and probably Mrs Howell. As it was, I’m pretty sure he was the Skipper’s bitch, which makes him a Journey fan.

  60. LaFlamme said,

    Or Hall & Oates, good point. Although, that was the early 70’s. We’re talking Loving Spoonfuls, or something.

  61. Linda said,

    Mark, wasn’t it the late 60’s?, Gilligans Island? How about Strawberry Alarm Clock, how is that for a blast from the distant past.

    No time to look it up and check my facts, I’m still at work and far too busy

  62. LaFlamme said,

    Hey, what about Live vs. The Smashing Pumpkins?

  63. AO said,

    What about The Who? And, what about Steely Dan?

  64. LaFlamme said,

    Awright, awright. I have the Who going against the Kinks. I’ve gotta stop modifying this sucker.

  65. AO said,

    Eww..I just noticed that you have Michael Jackson against Prince. I think they should both be booted out of the contest. One’s a child molester and, the other changed his name to a symbol. Freaks.

  66. Linda said,

    There ain’t no rules — modify it if you want. We don’t mind. Don’t get testy — breathe in, breathe out. That’s what I’m telling myself, too — I am still at work until about 7, and getting very tired of being here. Couldn’t have got thru the day without this distraction. I have company at home, I hope they are cooking me dinner and pouring me some Tullamore Dew.

  67. LaFlamme said,

    Linda, what do you do that keeps you cooped up until 7 on a Saturday night? Are you a crack dealer?
    I’m thinking of changing my name to a symbol.

  68. Linda said,

    Yeah, you in the market?
    I hate to say this to a geek, and give the wrong impression about myself but — it’s a computer system rollout. In the medical setting. I don’t know much about the hardware though, I take care of the people and what they do.

  69. AO said,

    Hmm…changing your name to a symbol? What would it be? A flipping pinky?

    Linda, Hope you get your dinner and..your wine.

  70. LaFlamme said,

    Ahhh, I getcha. Few things are more exciting than the unveiling of a new computer system. The screaming, the crying, the suicides…

  71. Linda said,

    So far that’s only me — all the “users” are doing fine

  72. Mainetarr said,

    Tell me more about the Kiss bands. I just saw a tribute band last weekend, Destroyer. I got my picture taken with Paul and Gene, but they were taken with a camera phone and they look like shit. Can’t see anything. No Bon Jovi in there either. Hmmmmmmmm. I’ll take the Knack over Devo, and I will vote NIN on behalf of Nadine. And yes, AO, I can’t stand Meatloaf or Bruce Springsteen. Yuk to both. Black Sabbath over Judas Priest, although I love Priest. I would pick Rick Springfield over Billy Squire anyday. And Shooting Star over Jukebox Hero., too….man, this is fun!

  73. jarheaddoc said,

    Gil, it’s becoming patently clear to me that you need to see some sort of -ologist: psych, which is self-explanatory; procto-, to remove that stick up your ass, or gyneco-, to solve the raging and permanent case of hemorrhagic vaginitis that you have. Here’s your sign, buddy

  74. AO said,

    Bon Jovi…yummy! VERY yummy! MT, I can’t believe you like KISS but think Bruce Springsteen sucks. I have to agree with you on the Loaf of Meat sucking. Gawd, Paradise By The Dashboard Light…need I say more? UGH! (I know you’ll laugh when you read this, Bobbie!)

  75. Bobbie said,

    Thanks for thinking of me today, AO. I would have mentioned that particular song earlier, but thought that I’d be nice for a change!

  76. Bobbie said,

    Do you have that song stuck in your head now that you’ve mentioned it?

  77. Gil said,

    Bite me jd, just because I’m right and you’re always wrong, don’t feel bad. It’s the way of the world

  78. Bobbie said,

    Just a heads up for everyone-the I love You thing came thru in my bulk mail today. Also something from someone named Polly about a tremendous turd. Threw that last one in there for you, Jarheaddoc, because you mentioned suppositories so frequently today. Have you cornered the market on them or did you just get a really good deal on them and now you’re trying to unload them?

  79. jarheaddoc said,

    You sure that wasn’t Polyp, Bobbie?

  80. AO said,

    No, Bobbie, it wasn’t stuck in my head but now, it is. Thanks alot!

  81. jarheaddoc said,

    Wow, gil, close to an hour for you to fire back a shot. I spelled everything correctly, so it shouldn’t have been too hard to find in the dictionary. I just realized what your problem is: YOU”RE A CLOSET LAWRENCE WELK FAN!

  82. Gil said,

    No jd, I have a life and don’t sit around waiting for you to come on so I can respond. Unlike you who was not only waiting, but timing it.. Stalker? Obsess much? I know I’m a pretty man but come on, let it go.

  83. jarheaddoc said,

    Pretty boy would about sum that up. It’s nice to see that you have a realistic view of yourself. Got them Lawrence welk shows on DVD yet?

  84. LaFlamme said,

    Goddamit. Now everything I hear on the radio, I’m thnking about the rock and roll match up. Just heard some Billy Squire. “My kind of Lover.” Reminded me of getting baked at the outdoor hockey rink in Waterville’s South End. Duuuuuuude.

  85. The Real Asshat said,

    Gil stop letting Jarheaddoc lead you around by the nose. You keep falling for it over and over.

  86. Gil said,

    Back to the poll
    Foreigner vs. Survivor – Another case of 2 bands being so bad that they cancel each other out.
    Twisted Sister vs.Quiet Riot – See above
    Metallica vs.Aerosmith – Tough to beat Aerosmith. The Toxic Twins are still putting out good music and still put on a hell of a show. Joe’s supposed to be coming out with some solo stuf this year.
    Pink Floyd vs. The Moody Blues – Another tough decision. They both put out some amazing music and lyrics, but I think that “The Wall” gives Floyd the slight lead on this one. I mean a double album that you can clean your weed on and then smoke it listening to. That’s a winner.
    Heart vs. The Pretenders – Heart rocked a lot better and I don’t know anyone who had a woody for Chrissy Hynde (sp?)
    Billy Squire vs. Tom Petty – Squier wins due to timing. “Don’t Say No” came out the summer before I joined the military and had a lot of great tunes.
    Devo vs. The Knack – Devo had one hit, and it sucked. The Knack, with the exception of the overwhelmingly annoying “My Sharona”, had quite a few good tunes – “Good Girls Don’t”, “Soul Kissin'”, “Your Number Or Your Name”, etc
    Concrete Blond vs. Janis Joplin – Never a big Concrete Blonde fan, but they don’t stand close to Janis Joplin. Janis always epitomized rock -n- roll with her life and music. Too bad she wasn’t smart enough to stick around.

  87. LaFlamme said,

    Wow, man. I understand the Joplin choice, though it pains me. But Squire over Tom Petty? You must have had the same experiences I had with Squire. It’s all about connotations there. And the Knack had more than two hits? I had no idea.

  88. AO said,

    Could you imagine listening to Janis sing now, if she would have been smart enough to stick around? Pearl has always been one of my favorite albums. Yup, I still have the album.

  89. LaFlamme said,

    See, this is a sore spot for me. It’s my opinion that Johnette Napolitano’s singing prowess easily tops that of the late, great Joplin. Easily. And she has the song writing talent to go with it.

  90. LaFlamme said,

    I thought Billy Idol vs. Thorogood was a pretty tough call. Two decidedly raucous rockers.

  91. Bobbie said,

    Never heard of Johnette Napolitano. Not too into Joplin, either.

    AO, you’re welcome for putting that song in your head.

  92. Gil said,

    Johnette was the Lead singer and former of Concrete Blonde. Hell of a voice, just not on par with the soulfulness of Janis. My opinion.

  93. LaFlamme said,

    Yeah, Concrete Blonde is strange. They tour for a while, go their separate ways, get back together again. I’ve seen them twice, in Boston and Buffalo.

  94. LaFlamme said,

    There’s a sports guy at the SJ whose seen close to 40 of the above mentioned bands in concert. Me, I’ve seen two. Concrete Blonde and Springsteen.

  95. Gil said,

    Red Hot Chilly Peppers vs.Spin Doctor – I believe there is a diiference between Chilly Peppers, and Chili Peppers, but I may be wrong. As for the vote, I’d have to side with the Chili Peppers. More hits, better hits, and vverstaility. Remake of Rollercaster cranks.
    Styx vs. Boston – Domo Arigato, Mr Roboto.
    Black Crowes vs. The Smithereens – Both suck to the Nth degree.
    The Go Go’s vs. The B52s – B52’s take this one hands down. Rock Lobster!
    Black Sabbath vs. Judas Priest – Tough choice. Priest had better songs, but Sabbath rocked it harder. Kind of a tie.
    Springsteen vs. Eric Clapton – Aren’t they sleeping together? If not, they probably should be.
    Cream vs. Korn – Korn, definitely. One hell of a stage show and some hardcore tunes.
    Sinead O’Connor vs. Olivia Newton John – Don’t know which is better, but i would like to see the wrestling match.
    Hall & Oates vs. Michael Bolton – Oh, these are the guys who are sleeping togetttther, along with Springsteen and Clapton. It’s a whole group thing.
    Bob Marley vs. Bob Dylan vs. Bob Denver – Again, no contest. Marley and the Wailers.

  96. LaFlamme said,

    Styx vs. Boston was a no brainer for me. Boston makes my ears bleed from sheer repetition, sort of like Frampton does. Styx someone rocks. It’s funny because they have some great stuff and some really, really bad stuff. But who doesn’t?

  97. AO said,

    Didn’t Styx do that really queer song, “I’m sailing away”? They just suck. I’d pick Boston over Styx anyday.

    Hall& Oates vs Michael Bolton. Is there any contest? Oh yeah, which one is worse than the other.

    Gil, Sorry but, I have to disagree with you, E.C. and Bruce are two of the best.

  98. AO said,

    Of all the artists listed, I’ve seen, B.B. King, Lynard Skynard, Billy Joel, Bob Dylan, J. Geils and, The Allman Brothers.

  99. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    Here two matchups that might be worth considering:

    Van Halen (David Lee Roth era) v. Van Halen (Sammy Hagar era)


    Genesis (Peter Gabriel era) v. Genesis (Phil Collins era)

  100. LaFlamme said,

    Oooh, Mandy. Very incestuous. Or cannibalistic. Or something.

  101. AO said,

    Mandy, Love your handle. “Obit Writer”. We need you in here because, it can be awful “dead” around here sometimes.

    Van Halen with David Lee Roth…hands down.

    Genesis with Peter Gabriel. Who wants to hear Phil “Every song sounds the same” Collins?

    Just my thoughts.

  102. LaFlamme said,

    I picture a lady in black…

  103. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    Considering the fact that both Van Halen and Genesis ultimately had three lead singers during the course of their respective careers, you have the potential for a three way battle.
    The Genesis incarnation with Peter Gabriel was much more interesting than the Muzak-ready Phil Collins.

  104. AO said,

    What a job. Obit writer. Must be very interesting.

  105. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    I know it is a little off topic, but yes, obituary writing is quite interesting.

  106. LaFlamme said,

    Well, I’m not much of a Van Halen fan, but even so. I gotta go with Lee Roth over Hagar. Friggin’ Haggar. Everything sounds like “Can’t Drive 55.”

  107. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    This one may be a little obscure, maybe, but how about Grace Jones vs. Grace Slick?

  108. AO said,

    Grace Slick. I could never figure out Grace Jones. Jones always reminded me of a he/she. Freaky.

    And, Mandy, it’s okay to go “off topic” in here. We do it all the time. Just ask Mark.

  109. LaFlamme said,

    Off topic? Unspeakable!
    I like shiny things.

  110. LaFlamme said,

    Ah, Grace Slick. Love the early Airplane. And if you don’t believe me, Go Ask Alice.

  111. AO said,

    I asked her and, she confirmed. Just don’t go chasing rabbits and, don’t forget to feed your head.

  112. LaFlamme said,

    Greeeeaat. That’s a creepy song to have lodged in your head. I gotta go do some shrooms.

  113. Blumpkin said,

    Two of my favorite groups

    Brenda vs. Sanity

  114. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    I have a feeling Mark would approve if I looked to my gothic roots for inspiration and suggested Bauhaus vs. Siouxsie and the Banshees.

  115. Blumpkin said,

    K2 vs. U2

  116. LaFlamme said,

    Cuckoo vs. Cuckoo

  117. LaFlamme said,

    Herb vs. Spices

  118. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    This was my first visit to Mark’s blog and it has been quite interesting.

  119. LaFlamme said,

    Glad you could make it, Mandy the obit writer. Sadly, I know nothing of Bauhaus and only one tune from Siouxsie

  120. AO said,

    Mandy, Sorry but, I’ve never heard of Bauhaus or, Siouxsie. But, we always like gothic around here. Hey, sometimes…the darker the better.

    HA. Herb vs. Spices.

    Bulldog vs. Weaseal.

  121. AO said,

    And, IF Bulldog ever did vs. Weaseal, I think I know who would win.

  122. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    Oh dear, I’m sorry to have stumped you. How about this one: Ashford and Simpson vs. Peaches and Herb?

    I’m glad I could make it tonight. Thankfully, I could actually leave work at a decent hour.

  123. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    Mark, I’m kind of surprised you’ve never heard anything by Bauhaus. If you’re inclined to check them out, I’d recommend listening to “Bela Lugosi’s Dead” first.

  124. LaFlamme said,

    Surprised, huh? Perhaps you didn’t know that I only listed to Three Dog Night and Lionel Ritchie.

  125. LaFlamme said,

    Okay, just typing that was kind of unnerving.

  126. AO said,

    I’ve heard that about you Mark. I’ve also heard that you’ve been know to stay up “all night long” and do some, “dancing on the ceiling”. At least while you’re on the ceiling, there’s no chance of your foot dangling over the side of the bed.

  127. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    You mean you DIDN’T have a poster of Lionel lurking somewhere on your desk at the DP?
    At least you didn’t invoke the spirit of Britney Spears in that post.

  128. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    And don’t forget, Mark could be “running with the night” chasing down those crime stories.

  129. LaFlamme said,

    Britney vs. Aguilera? The bloggers would have flayed me.

  130. LaFlamme said,

    Okay, clearly you people know the titles of some Ritchie songs, whereas I don’t. I am vindicated.

  131. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    Yes, and I am quite frightened that I not only know the titles but I also know the correct spelling of Spears’ name. Clearly I need professional musical therapy or just go and listen to some Joy Division songs.

  132. LaFlamme said,

    Mandy, back when you and I had that torrid love affair down at the DP, I was listening to Godsmack and Three Doors Down. Now I listen to neither. Must’ve been a southern thing.

  133. AO said,

    Ohhh…torrid love affair talk. Anyway, Red Sox’s just won, 9-3!

    And, for the record, I hate Lionel Ritchie’s music. Question for Mandy, who’s Joy Division?

  134. LaFlamme said,

    Yes, AO. That was a sloppy win, but it was a win. Almost a bench clearing brawl, too.

  135. AO said,

    No, no brawl. Too bad. I love it when they brawl.

    I’m wondering where K2 is. I thought he’d be all over this blog. He must be….away.

  136. LaFlamme said,

    Yeah. He’s gotta get in here and defend Dylan.

  137. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    Joy Division was a British band that had its heyday back in the late 70s and very early 80s. After their lead singer committed suicide, the remaining members of the band reformed as New Order.

  138. AO said,

    Mandy, I’m still lost. Guess I must have missed both bands.

  139. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    I am going to have to sign off soon but I’m going to post an earlier suggestion I had for Mark.

    A pure 80s matchup:
    Culture Club vs. Frankie Goes to Hollywood

  140. LaFlamme said,

    Do you REALLY wanna hurt me?

  141. Linda said,

    Man, look what I missed! What a night! and Mandy, you saved the best for last. Frankie may not have had staying power (unlike the Boy) but what a laugh!

    I guess I missed it all by a half hour or so. Even after working 27 hours out of the last 40, I could have played for a while. My company has gone to bed, my glass is empty, I guess it’s good night.

  142. Linda said,

    RELAX, Mark, nobody will hurt you unless you want them to

  143. LaFlamme said,

    Hey, alright. Linda made it through the systems rollout and she still sounds somewhat lucid. Somewhat.

  144. Bobbie said,

    Someone to hurt him is Mark’s secret wish. The weirder the better, if you haven’t guessed already.

  145. Linda said,

    Thanks everyone for being so entertaining yesterday. I kept an eye on the conversation while I was working and learned a lot about a lot of things.

    Day off! Yay!!

  146. Mainetarr said,

    Who have I seen in concert on this list? Hmmmmm, let’s see.
    Steve Miller (x2-laugh at me all you want, it was in OOB and really fun)
    KISS (with and without makeup-better with, they are ugly bastards)
    Dave Matthews
    ZZ Top
    .38 Special
    REO Speedwagon
    Aerosmith (x2)
    Black Crowes (they SUCK SUCK SUCK in concert-the entire band weighted 200lbs, including their equipment, it was freaky, they were stoned out of their minds and, did I mention, they SUCKED?)
    Motley Crue (Tommy Lee was in a g string and pulled it down)
    Alice in Chains
    Hall and Oates
    KC and the Sunshine Band
    Bare Naked Ladies
    Pat Benetar

    Who, of the above was the best in concert? Aerosmith.

  147. Mainetarr said,

    Barbaro wins the 132nd Kentucky Derby

  148. Thaifood Teena said,

    Mandy, I gotta ask, when I read the obits, it usually says something like “she died unexpectedly” or “he died peacefully with his family at his side”, “she went home to be with the Lord”, “he died after a long battle with cancer”…etc…You know what I want in my obit? “She is really pissed off that she died. She was bitching and screaming right until the very end. ” Or wouldn’t it be great to see an obit that said, “He died from a gunshot wound to the head when his wife caught him and his girlfriend (see next obit) in bed together.” Or, even better, “She died unexpectantly after drinking too much rum and dove into a swimming pool with no water in it.” I wanna know WHY they died, what did they do or what did they die from? Is that too much to ask, or is it just disrespectful?

  149. Gil said,

    Thai Teena, we come into this world naked, screaming, covered in blood and mucus, and if you play your cards right, you can go out the same way.

  150. Gil said,

    Ok, break from rating, concerts seen
    Rolling Stones (1st “Farewell” Concert ’82)
    AC/DC (x2)
    Ozzy Osbourne (not really, unfortunately I only had one chance to see Ozzy, boyght a ticket, and then Randi Rhoades went down in his helicopter. What is it with musicians and aircraft. Anyway, concert cancelled, Mandy the obit writer called in)
    .38 Special (opened for Triumph)
    REO Speedwagon (thought they were turning girlie, then I saw them live, they rock live)
    Sting -solo and with The Police
    John Cougar Menstrual Cramp -as John Cougar, and later as Mellencamp.
    Aerosmith – Here in Portland. You know your band is among the greatest in the world when KISS opens for you.
    Heart – Late 80’s when they were both still smokin’.
    Billy Squire – opened for Heart. Also on the bill – Rossington Collins Band, Foghat.
    The B52s – got in free because the bouncer (small Venue) though tthey were on their last song. B-52’s did 3 more songs and 3 encores. Not a great group, but a fun group.
    Black Sabbath – I know I went, because when I came to a few days later I had the shirt and the ticket stub.
    Kiss – x3
    KC and the Sunshine Band – hey, I grew up near Orlando and you couldn’t go anywhere near Disney without seeing them. Not bad, another fun group.
    That’s it from these pairings.

  151. LaFlamme said,

    Ah, so REO released Hi Infidelity in the early 80’s and it was an album filled with sappy songs that set junior high girls to swooning. But the saving grace of that release was that most of the supposed love songs had a nasty edge. Even the supremely sweet sounding “Keep on Loving You” was about a guy who chooses to stay with his lady even though she was messing around. Take it on the Run, conversely, featured a man with attitude dumping that straying skank. So, it didn’t have the same almost-grittiness of “Riding the Storm out.” REO still doesn’t get demoted to the rank of really girly bands like Journey. And it’s not like they went from solid rock to something like “Babe.” Shame on you, Styx.

  152. Bobbie said,

    The only concerts that I’ve seen are The Judds (on their farewell tour when they came to Maine), The Oak Ridge Boys, Pam Tillis (I won free tickets by bringing the dj’s a bowling ball) and I slept thru Ozzy and Motley Crue (plus some weird British band that opened for them) in Portland. Can’t you tell that I’m not a big concert goer? Would definitely go back and see Pam Tillis tho.

  153. Gil said,

    This blog has brought back a lot of memories, mostly good. I just had to run to Lowe’s and on the way back I heard “Iron Man’ followed by Squier’s “In the Dark”. I also thought of some new ones
    Joan Jett vs Lita Ford
    Kansas vs Blue Oyster Cult
    Green Day vs Fall Out Boys
    Simpsons vs Family Guy vs South Park
    Peter Tosh vs Lenny Kravitz

  154. Gil said,

    More picks
    Alice Cooper vs. Alice in Chains – Alice Cooper, much more original
    J. Geils vs.Bad Company -J Geils, remember they had a lot more tunes than “Centerfold”. A lot of their earlier stuff had a harder blues style rock to it. Bad Company was good, not in the same league.
    Michael Jackson vs. Prince – I once went out with a girl who asked me to make love like Michael or Prince would. So I banged her little brother. Ba-dum-dum
    Motley Crue vs. Van Halen – the Crue sucked in the 80’s and they still suck today. Van Halen with David Lee Roth wins every time.
    Billy Idol vs. George Thorogood – tie. They both have some decent stuff, and a lot of stuff that sucks.
    Steve Miller vs. America – Both bands belong in somehere around the 3rd or 4th level of hell for the gaying of Rock music
    Kiss vs. Peter Frampton – 2 totally different types of rock, but if I had to choose I’d probably pick KISS.
    Kool & the Gang vs. KC and the Sunshine Band – tie. Both bands equally good and bad. Fun tunes. Not really serious, but fun to listen to when I was a kid.
    Poison vs. Cinderella – Didn’t they also go under the names of Motley Crue, Whitesnake and Ratt? If not they should have. All the same, sucking just as bad as the other.
    The Kinks The Who – I’d have to say The Who, just due to volume and longevity. Both bands were great. Kudos to the kinks for “Lola”
    Live vs. The Smashing Pumpkins – Who? Probably goes to Live just for “I Alone”
    Santana vs. BB King – tie. Love ’em both. In a gun-to-the-head choice I’d pick Santana
    Godsmack vs. Nine Inch Nails – Godsmack, never a big NIN fan. Awake, Bad Magic, Voodoo, all crank.
    The Allman Brothers vs. Johnny Cash – Allman Brothers. JC was good, but not in the same class as the Allmans. Eat a Peach was a great road trip album. And a good trippin’ album.
    Van Morrison vs. Elvis – Van Morrison. Never an Elvis fan. Completely overrated. Van was the man, especially on his last album with his first record company (I forget who he was with) They forced him to record another album before they would let him out of his contract. The album is filled with crap, all about 1 minute long, all sounding the same. Titles like “Twist & Shake”, “Shake & Roll”, ” Stomp and Scream”, etc. Big balls, and a lot of points for originality.
    Bare Naked Ladies vs. Green Day – BNL gets the vote for originality and humor. Plus a great live show.
    The Bangles vs. The Go Go’s – Don’t really care, but bring on the championship Jell-o match.
    The Clash vs. The Sex Pistols – Sex Pistols, more for the way Johnny Rotten went out than anything
    Pat Benetar vs. Cindy Lauper – Pat Benetar. At least she was serious about her music
    One More for consideration
    Staind vs Disturbed

  155. Mainetarr said,

    Lita Ford-she’s now a dj on my SIrius Radio-LOVE LITA!!!
    Green Day
    Family Guy
    Lenny Kravitz

  156. Mainetarr said,

    How about this for you country fans?

    Sugarland VS Dixie Chicks
    Alan Jackson VS Brad Paisley
    Martina McBride VS Reba McIntyre
    Gretchen Wilson VS Faith Hill
    Vince Gill VS George Straight
    Garth Brooks VS Tim McGraw
    Kenny Chesney VS Keith Urban
    Brooks and Dunn VS Big and Rich

    for you old bastards…

    Merle Haggard VS George Jones
    Loretta Lynn VS Tammy Wynette
    Dolly Parton VS Crystal Gayle
    Dottie West VS Tanya Tucker

  157. Gil said,

    How about this for you music fans
    Any of Mainetarr’s bands vs anything else
    No offense MT, I personally can’t stand most country music.

  158. LaFlamme said,

    Ahhhh! Country music! My ears! They’re bleedin!

  159. LaFlamme said,

    Great analysis, Gil. Here’s another train of thought: my first two albums were: Paranoid, by Black Sabbath, Bloodshot, by J. Geils.

  160. jarheaddoc said,

    Gil, go take a look at comment #19, just looking for a comment. As far as Elvis goes, he is comparable to The Beatles for what was done to American Music. I’m not saying rock ‘n roll, per se, but music overall. The institutional powers of this country, for both times, tried to squelch both, if I recall, and that went a lot ways towards making them popular.

  161. jarheaddoc said,

    MT, the unfortunate thing about country music is that it is following other trends in the music industry, such as flooding the market with wannabes who depend more on advertising and a good plastic surgeon than talent to sell records. Toby sells records because he told the music industry to go screw itself and the Dixie Chicks are still trying to captilaize on the fight they had with him. Toby was recently referred to ‘as white trash with money’, but the common man identifies with him, just like a lot of people did Skynard. And Gretchen vs. Faith? Let’s be real, Faith would never make it out of her corner before Wilson kicked her ass, and Tim would be too busy drinking to care.

  162. Mainetarr said,

    FYI, number 1 on the counrty music charts this week is Bon Jovi (with Jennifer Nettles of Sugarland). Go figure.

  163. jarheaddoc said,

    That is just graphic proof that sex sells, MT, and that even bad songs have a following. Or is it just that people are seeing entertainers do something with their time other than spend money on lawyers and drugs? I’m not sure I’d want to live in that house that’s being built in the video if Bon Jovi’s running a hammer

  164. K2 said,

    I’m sorry, but any steel-cage death match between rock groups that starts with The Beatles vs. The Stones is automatically disqualified in my twisted world. I couldn’t possibly chose one over the other. That’s like asking yourself, ‘Which arm would I prefer to keep?’

    As for shaming Styx, here’s where I completely bottom out in blogland: In 9th grade I sang ‘Babe’ to my girlfriend over the phone the night before I left for a spring-break vacation in Florida. To add insult to injury, our ‘song’ was ‘Come Sail Away,’ which was playing in my box on the ski-club bus to when we first kissed.

    Man, was I gay. Soooooooo gay. A total recovering cockaholic.

    She later broke up with me after I admitted to getting drunk immediately after the 9th grade math Regeants (NY testing) with some friends who landed a Matt’s beer ball. Bitch broke up with me over the gaddam phone when she found out, the tea-totelin’ whore.

    But I’m not bitter. . . .

    And Gil, I was never a big fan of REO Sphincterwagon. They were even too gay for me.

    Pink Floyd and Zeppelin snapped me into goodness in 10th grade. Thank heavens for devil music.

  165. Gil said,

    jd, I honestly have no idea what you are talking about in post #19. Please enlighten me and then I can reply.
    Mark, how about Pink Floyd “The Wall” 1st album -vs- 2nd album.
    Or “The Wall” -vs- “Dark Side of the Moon”
    Or Crazy, swearing, bearded, bicycle-pushing, can man in the Old Port -vs- Crazy, swearing, yelling-at-passers by, old lady on Allen Av in Portland – vs- Dan.

  166. K2 said,

    Sounds like some of you fellas need to go out and buy Pink Floyd’s ‘Atom Heart Mother,’ ‘Meddle,’ Obscurred by Clouds,’ ‘Wish You Were Here’ and ‘Animals.’ Of course, ‘The Final Cut’ is one of my all-time faves, but it’s really a Waters solo recod with Gilmore on guitar and Mason of drums. (Rick Wright had been kicked out by Waters during the making of the ‘The Wall.’ Roger can be a tad bossy, I hear.)

  167. LaFlamme said,

    Animals is one of my favorite albums, but pound for pound, Floyd against Floyd, I’ve got to go with Dark Side. No! I change my mind! The Wall. Christ, I can’t do it. I’ll stick with Dark Side.

  168. jarheaddoc said,

    Gil, that whole fiasco of Sinead O’connor ripping up the picture of the pope on SNL. Ya know, team up two of the ones who didn’t even come close to being discussed here, just for lack of better things to do, common releif, whatever you want to call it.

  169. LaFlamme said,

    Anyone ever slow dance with someone you didn’t really like to either Stairway to Heaven or Free Bird? Horrible problem there. Those songs go on for the entire length of puberty if your with the wrong dance partner.

  170. jarheaddoc said,

    Okay, which is better, the remake or the original:
    Cat’s in the Cradle by Haryy Chapin or the remake by Ugly Kid Joe?
    Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door by whoever did it-I want to say Dylan- or the remake by Guns ‘n Roses?
    I say Chapin and Guns “n roses. Let the debate of remakes rage.

  171. Gil said,

    Who the hell dances to Freebird or Strairway? I can only imagine someone with their pinky in the air.
    K2, didn’t forget the others, I just don’t think they’re mainstream enough to get a response from everyone. And you forgot Umma Gumma

  172. K2 said,

    I will say, as a complete band effort, Dark Side is Floyd’s best album. But go to Napster right now and download ‘Fearless’ off Meddle. It’s actually a Rogers and Hammerstein number, but, man, does Floyd do it so sweetly.

    You say the hill’s to steep to climb
    Try me
    You say you’d like to see me try
    You pick the place and choose the time
    And I’ll climb, that hill in my own way
    Just wait awhile for the right day
    And as I rise above the treeline in the clouds
    I look down, hear the sounds of the things you said today

    Now what about wedding receptions that with DJs who play YMCA, the Macarana, the Electric Slide and the Chicken Dance? This fucking better be open bar. . . .

  173. jarheaddoc said,

    The only solo effort I know of from David gilmour had ‘murder’ on it and something about a cruise missile. Lame even then. Pink floyd is an example of an entity whose sum was greater than its parts

  174. K2 said,

    Well, ‘Umma Gumma’ is for professionals. I’m not trying to scare people here, Gil. While I think Grantchester Meadows is the best on the double album, you gotta love ‘Careful with that Axe, Eugene,’ and ‘Several Small Species of Aimals Gathered Together in a Cave and Grooving with a Pict.’

    Of course, I have ‘Piper at the Gates of Dawn’ and ‘Saucerful of Secrets.’ I like ’em, but, honestly, Syd Barret was a bit too much for me. They only make it to the CD player every few years or so.

  175. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    I know this is straying way off topic, but some questions came up about my job writing obituaries and I thought I’d share the following passage from a particularly memorable obituary – or was it family therapy session:

    Mary Agnes was a very straightforward and candid person who could cause great frustration and grief to those around her. She did not accept the saying “life isn’t perfect” especially when it came to her life, in which creature comforts played a major role. But she could also be very generous and caring, was a devout Catholic and devoted to the Blessed Mother and the Rosary. Many times she appeared selfish and self-centered, but this behavior was mainly insecurity about being loved. Now enjoying the infinite love of God Almighty, hopefully, she is saving us a place at the table of the Lord, a setting of true perfection.

  176. K2 said,

    If Waters and Gilmore could’ve gotten along, who knows what fantastic music they could have made.

    But Jarhead, don’t you dare dis Waters ‘The Pros and Cons of Hitchhiking.’ Clapton on lead, and Sanborn on Sax. A stoner’s delight.

  177. Gil said,

    Rock Operas
    Jesus Christ Superstar -vs- Tommy

  178. K2 said,

    Mandy, thank God for athiesm.

  179. K2 said,

    Oh, come on, Gil. Are you kidding me?!? Tommy an you hear me? Andrew Lloyd Webber is plainly horrific.

    Here’s a great lyric be Waters on ‘It’s a Miracle’ off ‘Amused to Death:

    We cower in our corners, with our hands over our ears
    Lloyd Webbers’ awful stuff runs for years and years and years
    An earhtquake hits the theatre, and the operetta lingers
    Then the piano lid comes down, and breaks his fucking fingers
    It’s a miracle

  180. LaFlamme said,

    The cinema version of The Wall vs. Heavy Metal? Ah, I got nuthin.

  181. Gil said,

    Bite me K2, it’s a poll, not asking for a religious conversion.

  182. Linda said,

    So Mandy, what’s the deal with your job, did you have to turn that obituary into something for the paper? It sounds an awful lot like one of my great aunts but I know the family would have kept all that under wraps instead of trying to put it in the paper.

  183. jarheaddoc said,

    Gil, you might as well throw the Rocky HOrrible Picture Show in there and diss Meatloaf, too.

  184. jarheaddoc said,

    And I meant that seriously, not sarcastically.

  185. Linda said,

    K2, you know, just because not everyone enjoys someone’s stuff, that doesn’t make it necessarily horrific. I’ve enjoyed some of Webber’s music. It probably doesn’t belong in a discussion like this, true.

    I hadn’t really intended to see Phantom, but I had an unexpected extra night in a city once while I was travelling, and I was able to get a last minute ticket. It was a pretty amazing experience.

    Anyway, carry on, mates.

  186. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    Ultimately the family declined to run the obituary as they submitted it, which was a good thing because I can’t imagine it getting by the editors. I kept a copy of it because it was one of the few times the family held nothing back, so to speak. Usually, if there is a family dispute or hard feelings, its typically handled in a subtler fashion. My co-workers did get kick out of it though.

  187. LaFlamme said,

    Has anyone ever seen or even heard of “Phantom of the Paradise.” Sort of a 70’s take on Phantom of the opera? Very strange, in a Rocky Horror way.

  188. jarheaddoc said,

    Mandy, isn’t being an obit writer a little like having to write greeting cards? I would have failed miserably at both with that obit and ended up in the military:
    Thank Chirst the old bat is dead. Here’s hoping she’s gone to heaven, because only god has the patience to deal with that woman.
    P.S. The bitch didn’t leave me anything in the will

  189. jarheaddoc said,

    PPS: But I’m not the least bit bitter!

  190. Bobbie said,

    That definitely sounds like something that you’d write, Jarheaddoc.

  191. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    I have found an interesting niche for myself as the “Mistress of Death,” as some of my colleagues fondly refer to me.
    I haven’t heard of Phantom of Paradise, but I have heard of Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park.

  192. Bobbie said,

    Somehow that sounds like an episode of Scooby Doo, WHere are you?

  193. Jayson Blair said,

  194. Linda said,

    Jarhead, I’m keeping a list of who I don’t want to write my obituary. You are now on the list.

    By the way, one of you boys said that your main complaint about some concert or other was that you didn’t get laid after, which was also my main complaint about Phantom of the Opera. That was my choice by the way, and I was always luckier after Rocky Horror.

  195. Bobbie said,

    I can’t blame you for not wanting Jarhead to write your obituary, Linda. I wouldn’t want him to write mine either. I have to shudder when I think of what my family will write for mine when that day happens.

  196. jarheaddoc said,

    Mandy, can you write an obit for Elvis? a truthful one. You must incorporate these items: the word ‘ignominious’, the phrase ‘on the shitter with his pants down around his ankles’, a quote from the paramedic who checked his pulse, confiriming that it was indeed gone, and the politically correct word ‘polypharmacy’.

  197. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park wasn’t necessarily Kiss’ best career move. Neither was their disco album, although “I was made for Loving You” is catchy in its own way.

  198. jarheaddoc said,

    I would be happy if someone other than my creidtors came to my funeral, never mind having someone write something nice about me

  199. Jayson Blair said,


  200. LaFlamme said,

    Now you’ve put me in the mood for Alice Cooper’s “I Love the Dead.”
    I love the dead before they’re cold
    They’re bluing flesh for me to hold
    Cadaver eyes
    upon me see…

  201. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    Elvis Presley, whose illustrious career made him one of the top selling recording artists of his day, met an ignominious end on the shitter with his pants down around his ankles. His death came after years of polypharmacy.

  202. LaFlamme said,

    Whoa! Blair! Has someone been blackballed? What a horrible fate!

  203. Jayson Blair said,

    Blah Blah Blah

  204. jarheaddoc said,

    Mandy, that’s great, and just think of all the damn trees that would have been saved if you’d been the one to write the story of his death! Can you do something about this obvious necrophilia thing that mark just let out?

  205. LaFlamme said,

    If that really is Jayson Blair, he’ll tell us he was at the Kentucky Derby yesterday when in fact, he was at home drinking Allen’s in his bathrobe.

  206. Jayson Blair said,

    The best one yet

  207. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    I was driving to work today and heard Three Doors Down and I can’t picture you listening to them. Alice Cooper, yes, but I was surprised to hear about Three Doors Down.

  208. LaFlamme said,

    Where does the term “black balled” come from, anyway? Does the subject of such action actually develop a discolorization… there?

  209. LaFlamme said,

    Mandy, when I was down there “Kyrptonite” and “Voodoo” were all over the radio. So driving up Mercury Boulevard, there was a good chance of hearing one or the other or both.

  210. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    One local radio station played both this weekend, as part of their “salute to the 90s.”

  211. LaFlamme said,

    Oh, that makes sense. Neither of those songs was done in the 90’s.

  212. Jayson Blair said,

    I swear to god I wrote this myself

    The influence of Masonic values still can be found in unions today. In the ideology of merit, self help of the craft unions, and in the remnants of ritualand officers of the craft, such as the Tyler. Meetings of unions like those of thecraft still require being tyled during elections, the Tyler being the Masonic outerguard to the temple. Some unions still used the black ball voting procedure used inthe craft to accept new members. Balls of white indicate acceptance the black ballis rejection, hence the term to be ‘black balled.’

  213. Jayson Blair said,

    Mandy I was bored, so I wrote you a song for you. No. Really, I wrote the lyrics myself. Swear to god.

    I remember all my life
    Raining down as cold as ice
    A shadow of a man
    A face through a window
    Crying in the night
    The night goes into

    Morning, just another day
    Happy people pass my way
    Looking in their eyes
    I see a memory
    I never realized
    you made me so happy, oh Mandy

    Well you came and you gave without taking
    but I sent you away, oh Mandy
    well you kissed me and stopped me from shaking
    I need you today, oh Mandy

    I’m standing on the edge of time
    I Walked away when love was mine
    Caught up in a world of uphill climbing
    The tears are in my mind
    And nothing is rhyming, oh Mandy

    Well you came and you gave without taking
    but I sent you away, oh Mandy
    well you kissed me and stopped me from shaking
    And I need you today, oh Mandy

    Yesterday’s a dream I face the morning
    Crying on the breeze
    the pain is calling, oh Mandy

    Well you came and you gave without taking
    but I sent you away, oh Mandy
    well you kissed me and stopped me from shaking
    And I need you today, oh Mandy

  214. Linda said,

    Jeez, Mandy, you must be so flattered.

  215. LaFlamme said,

    Well, sheeeeeyit. That actually makes sense. Draw a black ball, get shunned. Yes. Yes.

  216. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    A good ’70s match up would be Barry Manilow vs. Barry Williams (yes, the Brady Bunch lad did go on to something of a music career).

    Hearing those songs did bring back memories of the time you were in Newport News…

  217. Jayson Blair said,

    Mr. Laflamme.

    I’m writing a new book, here’s just a sample. Let me know what you think. I wrote it myself, I swear to god.

    There. From a distance. Soft and faint like rain on the roof, a melody floated down from above. Notes that jabbed the air like probing fingers. A sound like fairies dancing in an acid dream.

    Fur Elise.

    For Cain, it was like stumbling into some terrible scene he might have written himself. His entire body went cold. He felt a pounding in his temples as the adrenaline of fright fueled his pulse. He was aware of a full bladder and had to concentrate to contain it.

    He fumbled with the sleeping bag zipper and squirmed out of it as though it were full of spiders. He knelt on the hard floor and strained to listen. Still the music played, the quick melody losing energy but still recognizable. Fur Elise from the snow globe, floating down from the very top of the turret. Beautiful, terrible music from the pink room.

    It wound down. I heard it wind down. There was not a single note left in those springs and cogs.

    He stood and pulled on a pair of jeans. He reached for the flashlight and switched it on. He aimed it at the staircase, terrified at what he might see there. But again, there were no leering faces or crouching ghouls. Only the darkness of the second floor. And above that, the turret from which the haunting melody continued to play.

    I can’t go up there. I think I’m physically incapable of climbing those stairs.

  218. Jayson Blair said,

    Linda, I had a few more minutes, so I wrote you a song too. I swear I wrot eit all by myself

    Every woman have a snapping point
    You don’t want her to snap no

    Someone stop Linda
    She just left the crib with a beretta
    She’s on her way to pop her fiance
    It’s the word on the street
    He was sleeping with Renee
    Lord knows, please someone stop Linda
    He don’t even know she’s coming
    Like the FBI, she gon’ knock down the door with no warrant
    Lord knows, what happened to the good time lovin’, lovin’

    My father used to tell me, son, listen
    There’s a thin line between love and hate
    Once you cross that line, see there’s no escape
    She love me, she love you not
    You don’t wanna open up Pandora Box no, no
    She will see that you’ve been cheating
    When you said that you’ve been working
    All I’m saying is just watch your back
    Cos tonight see I got a bad feeling Jack
    Linda’s got a gat

    Someone stop Linda
    She just left the crib with a beretta
    She’s on her way to pop her fiance
    It’s the word on the street
    He was sleeping with Renee
    Lord knows, please someone stop Linda
    He don’t even know she’s coming
    Like the FBI, she gon’ knock down the door with no warrant
    Lord knows, what happened to the good time lovin’, lovin’

    Listen to me now
    Every barrel got a Linda
    Trust me you don’t want that drama
    When you laughing she’s crying
    Mascara running down her face, now she’s plotting
    Like Method Man, she gon’ bring the pain
    Like Cypress Hill you got a insane in the membrane
    All I’m saying is just watch your back
    Cos tonight see I got a bad feeling Jack
    Oh my God

    Someone stop Linda
    She just left the crib with a beretta
    She’s on her way to pop her fiance
    It’s the word on the street
    He was sleeping with Renee
    Lord knows, please someone stop Linda
    He don’t even know she’s coming
    Like the FBI, she gon’ knock down the door with no warrant
    Lord knows, what happened to the good time lovin’, lovin’

    Someone stop Linda (Samson fell for Delilah)
    Someone stop Linda (Ahab fell for Jezebel)
    Someone stop Linda (King David fell for Bathsheba)
    And coming in the mist
    Linda wants to head up the baptist
    Someone stop Linda
    He don’t even know she’s coming

  219. LaFlamme said,


  220. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    I can’t wait to see what your next topic is on your blog.

  221. LaFlamme said,

    Really. Got any suggestions?

  222. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    I’ll think on it and send you some later, if that’s okay. I’m a bit new to the blog universe.

  223. LaFlamme said,

    Well, you don’t have to think much around this blog. We have a long, rich tradition of flightiness and… what the hell was I saying?

  224. Gil said,

    Jayson Blair -vs- Linda Blair
    I’ll take pea soup puking, head spinning, cross fucking Ling Blair any day over a liar and, apparently, someone desperately in need of attention. “Moommy, look at me!, Look at me! Mommy! L-o-o-k a-t m-e-e-e-e-e-e!”
    For the adventurous, the NSFW version of Linda Blair
    Man, they couldn’t have made that address any longer.

  225. LaFlamme said,

    Ooooh, don't get me started on the scariest movie thing. Or I'll post this:


  226. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    Rosemary’s Baby was a great film.

  227. LaFlamme said,

    Great book, too. Levin rocks. In a sparing, literary way.

  228. Martha said,

    The Beatles, easy.. at least they sang instead of screaming. I absolutely hate “music” that all they do is scream the same line or 2 over and over.
    I’m listening to Moody Blues as I type. I had a couple Janis Joplin CD’s and gave them away. I had forgotten how much of a screamer she was..
    Give me oldies, give me country, give me southern gospel, give me classical and I’ll be content.
    As to MT’s lists.
    Lets see… I won’t comment on all of them, but here goes.
    Sugarland vs. the traitors.. not sure.
    Matina over the phoney anyday.
    Faith tops the slut hands down
    Tim really is country.. Garth never could make up his mind whether he was or not.
    Brooks and Dunn… no contest.

    For the old timers…. all of the above.

    I know, I’m a little late to the blog, but I went away for the weekend with my daughter and grandsons.. took the kids to Busch Gardens in Williamsburg, Va.

  229. K2 said,

    Gil, my bashing Webber has nothing to do with Superstar’s subject matter, you Christian sympathizer. (Chuckle, guffaw.)

    Linda, my posts are obviously my opinions. I think Webber sucks, that’s all.

    Phantom of the Paradise? Didn’t the phantom get his face deformed by getting it stuck in a record press?

    And Heavy Metal had sweet cartoon titties. That had to be a first. Didn’t that have Blue Oyster Cult’s ‘Veterans of the Psychic Wars’ on it?

  230. K2 said,

    Just heard Neil’s ‘Living with War,’ and it’s not nearly as bad as my friend said it was. Certainly not his best album, but it’s message is LOUD and clear.

  231. Robert said,

    Holy cow, uch a hot topic..thoughts from an idol mind…

    1. I wanna see barry Williams vs. Eminem (anyone see the music awards where Barry sung I’m the real greg Brady -a paroy of the real Slim Shady?) Absolutely classic spoof making fun of himself and Eminem, I consider it Barry’s best performance ever (unless you include his romps with Florence.

    2. What – No Huey Lewis & The News, I’m crushed…

    3. My next requested matchup is Toby Keith vs. the Dixie CHicks, followed by Dolly Pardon vs Lori Morgan.

    4. Heres a new rule to consider – any band that tries to make a hit by covering someone elses work, even if they change the style or genre, should be automatically disqualified.

    5. Lets have Elton John vs Olivia Newton John (if they had a daughter together would she be names Olivia newton John-John?)

    6. Who’s gonna take on Supertramp? Maybe Blondie?

  232. K2 said,

    In high school, my wife and a few friends had back-stage passes to a Huey Lewis & The News concert, and she says he was a licentious and lascivious drunk who shamelessly hit her and her friends. Maybe it’s artistic license?

  233. K2 said,

    Mark, the Changling, eh? If you say it’s #3 all time, well, I’ll have to have a looksee. I’ve never seen it.

  234. LaFlamme said,

    Yeah, and the Changeling is one that even non-horror types will watch. I mean, it’s spooky as hell, but it’s all mood, you know? No fang dripping monsters lunging from closets. Great story, amazing spook factor. George C. Scott vs. little boy ghost.

  235. LaFlamme said,

    Shit, I love Supertramp. How about Supertramp vs. Rush.
    And Jackson Brown vs. Billy Joel.

  236. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    Supertramp is great.

    How about a battle of the protégées: Prince’s all-girl group Vanity 6 vs. Rick James’ all-girl group Mary Jane Girls.

  237. LaFlamme said,

    It would never end. Like, Poe vs. Garbage. And with that in mind, does anyone remember Quarterflash?

  238. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    Yes, I remember Quarterflash. I haven’t “harden my heart” to those memories.

  239. LaFlamme said,

    That’s a friggin’ great song. Very sultry. Hey, I’m not too proud to admit it. What about Til Tuesday?

  240. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    I remember them too. Their singer, Aimee Mann’s solo work is woefully underappreciated.

  241. LaFlamme said,

    Good voice, stupid lyrics. “I try so hard not to get upset. Because I know all the trouble I’ll get… Oh, hush. Keep it down now. Voices carry.”

  242. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    Poe vs. Garbage is a tough call. Garbage has had greater career longevity; however, after all these years Poe’s song “Angry Johnny” still holds up.

  243. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    I agree with the stupid lyrics on Voices Carry. Her songwriting was a bit better on a solo album called “I’m with Stupid.”

  244. LaFlamme said,

    As you’ve probably witnessed, I’m the only Concrete Blonde fan around here. I think that makes me a lesbian.

  245. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    I think you can count me as the second Concrete Blonde fan on the board. I wonder what that says about me?

  246. LaFlamme said,

    I dunno. But I’ll have fun speculating.

  247. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    Wanna be my lesbian lover?

  248. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    I meant that last comment in pure jest, Mark, so I hope you don’t take offense to it.
    I did have an idea for a blog topic: How one defines “classic” rock.

  249. LaFlamme said,

    By golly, I’ll have to try to wrap my brain around that one.
    Right now, I have to go out to the town of Hebron to check out an old TB sanitorium.

  250. Linda said,

    Now that’s a conversation stopper Mark — tuberculosis beiing so sexy and all! Can’t wait to read the article. (Just kidding, whatever you do with the info, I’m sure it will be fascinating)

  251. Robert said,

    How Bout Chrissy Hind and the Pretenders?

    And Jackson Browne was so underrated, that man wrote many of the Eagles hits and for other musicians before going out on his own..

    And don’t forget Attila, the greatest hard rock 2 man band to ever come out of New York…none other than Billy Joel and a neighbrohood friend, I still have an album given to me by WPNO (yes on Court Street by The Black watch for all you old timers).
    And I noticed no Simon & Carfunkle vs. The Carpenters…

    Or Moody Blues…maybe vs. Lou rawls?

    38 Special defintely is in my top 10

  252. Bobbie said,

    WPNO is where I got the Arrival album by ABBA. You know how hard it is to win something with a rotary phone?

  253. K2 said,

    Consumed by the Consumption, eh, LaFlamme? You hack. (Get it? How often?)

    10 Years After vs. Jethro Tull?

    Canned Heat vs. Johnny Winter?

    Little Feat vs. Hot Tuna?

    Bruce Cockburn vs. Leo Kottke?

    Gordon Lightfoot vs. Harry Chapin?

    The Grateful Dead vs. The Allman Brothers?

    Just wonderin’.

  254. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    We could expand the battle to include those actors who launched recording careers. I humbly submit for your consideration:

    Don Johnson vs. Bruce Willis
    William Shatner vs. Leonard Nimoy

  255. AO said,

    William Shatner!!!! MY ears!! MY ears!!!

  256. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    Shatner’s rendition of “Mr. Tamborine Man” has seared itself in my brain and to this day I don’t think I’ve fully recovered.

  257. AO said,

    I can imagine. But, why would you listen to it in the first place? Were you held against your will and it was some form of torture ?

    As for Don Johnson vs. Bruce Willis, I’d have to go with Bruce simply because…he’s cool. And, if memory serves me correctly, he sang the blues.

  258. Mainetarr said,

    Bruce Willis–Respect Yourself and Under the Boardwalk. I think I have that cassette floating around the basement somewhere. LOL Barry Williams is also a DJ on Sirius radio these days. He’s a good guy, funny as hell.

  259. AO said,

    Ohhh…can I borrow it, MT?

  260. BGP said,

    I think that if a band has a movie, a tv show, or comic book, that should be th knockout punch right there. I mean, you know there would’ve been a Nirvana cartoon hadn’t things gone awry. Can’t you see it? All three of em and that pap smear guy riding in a van, hunting down “ghosts” that are tormenting the fairgrounds? Meddling kids.

  261. AO said,

    Scooby Dooby-Doo where are you?

  262. Mainetarr said,

    Yeah like the Partridge Family. MMMMMMMMMMMmmmmm David Cassidy. Oh how I loved that kid. Come on get happy…….I still have a metal lunch box with the bus on it.

  263. Mainetarr said,

  264. Linda said,

    Is there anything left to say about music? About anything? I’m not working for a change, my company went back to Canada, I’m feeling lucid, no Red Sox tonight. Anybody there?

  265. Linda said,

    Did we have Sly and the Family Stone? versus Kid Creole and the Coconuts maybe?

  266. Linda said,

    OK, maybe not that lucid.

  267. LaFlamme said,

    Ahhh, David Blaine crapped up just under two minutes shy of the record. You can’t fault the guy, though. Christ a week under water and then holding your breath for seven friggin’ minutes? That’s inhuman.

  268. Linda said,

    whatever floats his boat

  269. Robert said,


    If you think Tamborine Man was bad, you should hear or feel the pain of Mr. Staner’s rendition of Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds…Ouch!

  270. Anonymous said,

    leon russell?
    dr hook & the medicine band?

    anyone even remember tiny tim? tip-toe thru the tulips!

  271. Linda said,

    Amazingly, I have another day off so I was digging through some old CDs; hoping to find some old favourites that were mentioned here.

    Can’t remember whether anyone mentioned Cold Chisel, but I was happy to find a few items by Jimmy Barnes. Not sure if his music got much play in this country? Anyone?

    So I’m enjoying Barnes. Next up: Van Morrison, Sweet Baby James, and if I decide to wash windows, possibly FYC.

  272. LaFlamme said,


  273. Bobbie said,

    It was suppose to have been 9 minutes, not 7, Mark.

  274. Mainetarr said,

    Bobbie, he meant he held it for 7 minutes, two minutes shy of the 9 minute record.

  275. LaFlamme said,

    Yeah. I mean, that’s incredible after a week in a friggin’ fishbowl. The guy’s a loon, but you’ve gotta give him points for heart.

  276. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    Kind of makes you wonder what Blaine’s next stunt will be. I figure he’ll try to survive being buried alive.

  277. hiutopor said,


    Very interesting information! Thanks!


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