Dinger

May 7, 2006 at 11:32 pm (Uncategorized)

Some of the best people I've known were reckless bastards. They drank constantly, chased women all over hell, and stuffed their faces with hot dogs and fries. These were men of high passion, who worked hard and played harder. They lived fast and died hard. Good old boys from the old school, generations away from political correctness and health kicks. Hotdog.jpg

Babe Ruth was a lot like this, if you believe the legends. Here was a man who had no time for two hour stretches in the gym, radical diets or herbal anything. Here was a roly poly man built like a fire plug who probably wheezed when he ran around the bases. Yet, he ran around the bases 714 times and he did it without a publicity manager or a nutritionist. Ruth's heroics were fueled by enthusiasm and a girth built of ballpark vendor food.

Ah, Ruth. How we loved your giant bat and your little boy ways. And how some of us are loathe to see your record fall to someone from this new generation of ball players, with the trillion dollar contracts, the press agents and the muscle enhancers.

At the risk of stepping on the toes of the great and wise Whitehouse (have any of you seen that guy's feet? They're friggin' canoes), I've got to ask you people what you think of Barry Bonds impending step into the record books. It will happen any day now. When it does, do we applaud? Do we boo? Do we take note of the feat without much fanfare at all?

syringe-image266804.jpgFor me, it's not just the drug use that makes this looming milestone a bit of a bummer. It's also the shadow of the new generation falling over the old one. The days of baseball players conducting themselves like rock stars are long gone. Today's slugger approaches his career like a business rather than a game. You never hear of a right fielder trashing a motel room or throwing up on a cop's shoes. They eat salads instead of doughboys. And whatnot.

Given the roar of disagreement over Johnny-Should-We- Boo-His-Traitorous-Ass-Damon's first trip back to Fenway, you would expect deafening screams of opinion over Bond's dubious sprint past Ruth. Most people have formulated their opinions well in advance. Me, I just got around to giving it some though.

For the record, I predict Bonds will pound number 714 Tuesday in the fifth inning. If I'm wrong, I'll buy you a beer and a hot dog.

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56 Comments

  1. Gil said,

    Completely off base (get it?) but I just updated my blog:
    http://churchofpainfultruth.blogspot.com/
    Inspired by our debate on music this weekend. Let me know what you think. Thanks

  2. Gil said,

    Not really a big baseball fan, more into football (Go Steelers!!!)
    Screw Bonds, he’s an asshat. He doesn’t try to go after the authors of a book stating he has used steroids and lied about it on charges of slander or libel. He doesn’t refute their claim, instead he is suing them for HOW they gathered the info on him. What a Douchebag. The MLB leadership doesn’t care what these guys do as long as they put paying fans in the seats. They won’t take the allegations against Barry Bonds seriously, there will be no reprecussions, he will break the record and they will make a big deal about it when everyone knows that it means absolutely squat.
    Congress is all up in arms about “price gouging” by the oil companies (doesn’t exist in case you were wondering) when they should be investigating the gouging going on at the concession stand of your local ballpark. Screw ’em. Screw ’em I say.

  3. Martha said,

    I’m not a baseball fan either, so I don’t really care.
    I like football, but have even lost most interest in it since the Cowboys have been in the basement for so many years. Course if they has someway to can their owner, almost anything would be better than the one they have. The biggest mistake he made was canning Tom Landry. Landry was more of a man than he’ll ever hope to be. If Tom Landry had continued to coach you’d have NEVER heard an allagation of drug use lodged against one of his players. He wouldn’t have stood for it.

  4. Linda said,

    In our mind’s eyes, baseball is a gaggle of big kids out goofing around during the lazy summer afternoons. Isn’t that why we were so intense about the 2004 Sox, because they personified that so well? (Aside from the fact that — well, that’s what Sox fans do). It reminds us of when we were kids and that was an afternoon well spent.

    It’s business now, isn’t it, not a summer hobby. Whether it’s the owners or the players, the things we like the least about baseball are the business choices.

    I won’t be cheering for Bonds.

  5. jarheaddoc said,

    Let’s celebrate when bonds goes past Hank Aaron. If he gets past Hank. And let’s all watch him submit to a drug test right in front of us, right at home plate, peeing in that cup, and kick his ass out of baseball when it comes back positive. All Pete Rose did was bet on baseball, not shoot up with drugs that will give him brain cancer and make his gonads shrink. Kinda sad that Bonds will be elected to the Hall of Fame because he didn’t ‘just say no’ and Charlie Hustle will forever be remembered as the bad guy.

  6. Bobbie said,

    If they can put an asterik by Roger Maris’ name for having a few extra games to beat Babe Ruth’s record of single season home runs, then they need to put one by Barry Bonds’ name should he pass this milestone in baseball history. Put it there in black and white that “alleged steriod use” got him where he is now.

    Watching baseball games anymore rank a couple of notches above watching golf for me. I’ll check the scores and standings every now and then, but have lost interest in the sport. The Barry Bonds, Mark Maquires and that other guy who testified before Congress about not using steriods and then got caught have ruined what used to be something good and enjoyeable for me.

  7. Robert said,

    There are some many ways to comment..

    1. I saw Hank Aarons home run on TV but he was displacing Ruth for the all time lead, so what barry does this week or at some point in the future only makes him the “scond guy” to beat Ruth’s record. Oh yeah and babe Ruth did not owe his girth to hot dogs but more correctly to alcohol, namely stout beer which he was famed for but was hidden from the public for years.

    2. Barry Bonds is guilty until proven otherwise, he is so caught up in himself that he can’t even just admit he did it and get on with life. He cheats the game and dishonors those who went before him, including his father and godfather.

    3. I will not watch his “quest” to be the second man to surpass Babe Ruth, nor do I wish to have any programming I am watching interrupted for such stupidity. The more I read of Mr., Bonds the more I understand some of these high school atheletes who are filled with visions of being the next greatest thing by overzealous parents and coaches. Just last night I watched a father at the LHS fields giving lacrosse lessons to his 8 year son….excuse me but when did this become so competitive at such a young age? You don’t need to yell at an 8 year old when they don’t do it the way you showed him – it also made me wonder what skills this parent possibly had to teach
    lacrosse, as back when I was a kid the closest team might have been the Johns Hopkins University college team, and that was onyl if you truly followed the sport.
    Suddenly everyone is an expert.

  8. jarheaddoc said,

    Does anyone recall that Babe Ruth was just as likely to strike out as he was to hit a homer?

  9. LaFlamme said,

    I don’t think you have to be a huge baseball fan to have a proxy interest in this matter, though. The game applies here as part of the American experience and people like Ruth are icons of both the sport and their particular era. Hell, tons of non-baseball fans still dig the flick “Field of Dreams.”

  10. LaFlamme said,

    I don’t think you have to be a huge baseball fan to have a proxy interest in this matter, though. The game applies here as part of the American experience and people like Ruth are icons of both the sport and their particular era. Hell, tons of non-baseball fans still dig the flick “Field of Dreams” because it’s about the passion and legend more than hits and stolen bases.

  11. K2 said,

    Field of Wet Dreams?

  12. LaFlamme said,

    I dunno about that. Do you really wanna see James Earl Jones in that role?

  13. K2 said,

    That crop’s stickier than milkweed.

    And, for the record, I’ve never seen Field of Dreams. Saw The Natural years ago and liked it. But Kevin Costner — oof.

  14. LaFlamme said,

    Not a Costner fan myself. Strangely though, he does okay with baseball movies. Field of Dreams is awesome in spite of the one-dimensional actor.

  15. AO said,

    Field of Dreams is one of the best ever baseball movies. I loved The Natural, also. How can you not? Robert Redford? I don’t care how old he gets, he’s still got it.

  16. Robert said,

    Field of Dreams and Bull Durham give a great accounting of the history and legends of baseball, one does it in a very reverent manner, the other in a fun loving way, but both tell the story of baseball. I give em 2 thumbs up.
    Also Bang the Drum Slowly, Yes
    The Natural – No, too stupid to be plausible
    Major league – YES
    Major league 2 – No

  17. K2 said,

    Best golf movie ever? Caddyshack

    Worst golf movie ever? Caddyshack 2

    Tin Cup? Never seen it. Again, Costner. *shuddering*

  18. AO said,

    K2, Tin Cup was very amusing, for a golf movie.

    Robert, Bull Durham IS another great baseball movie. I’ve seen it so many times that I’ve lost count. “Oh, MY!”

  19. Mainetarr said,

    Not a baseball fan really, but I do think Barry Bonds should not be credited with surpassing Babe Ruths’ record. That would be like finding out Seabiscuit was shot full of bute and lasix. (horse drugs) It’s a big let down. The Babe did it au natural, so should the folks that came after him. Fair is fair. If Bonds wants to work out 12 hours a day to get built up, fine. But don’t start shooting steroids. It’s cheating, plain and simple. He is a douchebag.

  20. AO said,

    You mean there’s…TWO douchebags?? Ha.

  21. Mainetarr said,

    Yeah, Bonds and Dan. Only Douchebag Dan outweight Bonds by 100 lbs, the fat bastard.

  22. Mainetarr said,

    Yeah, Bonds and Dan. Only Douchebag Dan outweighs Bonds by 100 lbs, the fat bastard.

  23. Mainetarr said,

    What the???? I swear I only hit the button once, it even told me to “slow down cowboy”

  24. AO said,

    Maybe it should have said “slow down cowgirl”. Must be a glitch. Dosen’t know your a girl.

  25. Linda said,

    Hi Mainetarr, so is that … like … 200 pounds? I never met Dan so I’m just askin’of

  26. Gil said,

    http://www.wbir.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=34089
    Man dressed as ninja burns down Porn store.
    Where are we going and why am I in this handbasket?

  27. Linda said,

    Town and Country Boostore, eh? that web site needs a proofreader, or at least a spell check program. And why oh why couldn’t they have shown a photo of the ninja suit? that was the most interesting part of the article.

    I just figured out where everyone is: watching David Blaine. Right?

  28. Gil said,

    Isn’t $900k a lot of porn? Even I don’t have that much. What would you do with $900k worth of porn?

  29. Gil said,

    Again, i have to wonder at the mentality of those who would watch an ILLUSIONIST on friggin’ TV! Isn’t that like listening to a ventriloquist on the radio?

  30. Gil said,

    Did you notice that the porn shop was on Clinton Highway?

  31. Gil said,

    Here’s an even better one, Zacarias Moussaoui has asked for his guilty plea to be withdrawn and given another trial.
    Judges Answer, ” Ummmm, no.”
    http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/M/MOUSSAOUI?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE%20=DEFAULT&CTIME=2006-05-08-17-58-52

  32. Linda said,

    I’m thinking the $900K included the building, but the building didn’t look like it was a big-budget premises. So yeah, I guess that’s a lot of porn, I’m not that well versed on market prices, Mark left that out of his recent most informative blog about sex toys. So tell me, how much porn IS that?

    What strikes you funny with Clinton Highway?

    I checked out Blaine for a nanosecond, he looks like an arrogant git to me

  33. Gil said,

    Well, I guess Bush Highway would have been funnier, but with Clinton it really makes the story.

  34. Gil said,

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060508/media_nm/stripclubs_dc;_ylt=AlMyHHMiPybmD_f_g9KNdrhxFb8C;_ylu=X3oDMTA5aHJvMDdwBHNlYwN5bmNhdA–
    I knew if I looked ing enough I’d find some good news about strip bars.
    Now I can say,”But honey, I was there for the new, breakthrough music!”

  35. Linda said,

    I’ve known so many people named Clinton, it waters down the association for me. It’s better to live on a street with a really common name, that way when someone tries to find you with that Google satellite cam or something similar, they’ll have to work a little harder at it. that’s my theory anyhow.

  36. Linda said,

    Funny — they don’t put strip club hip hop bars on TV, yet they DO put on Texas Hold ‘Em and David Blaine. What’s up with that?

  37. Gil said,

    Hey, back off of the poker lady. Equating Blaine with a greeat game like poker is just wrong. I would have responded earlier, but I was playing poker online.

  38. Linda said,

    Poker. Fun to play, not fun to watch. Like so many things in life.

  39. LaFlamme said,

    Well, Blaine didn’t go belly up. But it was close.

  40. Linda said,

    Mark, aren’t you watching The Family Guy? It’s the one where his boss dies at the dinner table.

  41. LaFlamme said,

    What the hell? Are you some sort of spooky witch looking through my windows? I’ve got it on.

  42. Gil said,

    Mark, knowing that you actually watched Blaine I feel I must let you in on a secret. Family Guy is not real. It’s a cartoon.

  43. Linda said,

    Multitasking. You’re watching TV, and you’ve got it on. No really, I’m just guessing.

  44. Gil said,

    I’ve got a new matchup for the music poll.
    Mastrubation theme:
    Divinyls “I Touch Myself” -vs- The Vapors “Turning Japanese”

  45. LaFlamme said,

    What? Not real? That’s impossible. I had a thing with Lois.

  46. Gil said,

    Give it up, I heard Brian’s hitting that

  47. LaFlamme said,

    Claaaaassic. Peter used that boastful line when Lois was modeling. “I’m ahhh… I’m hitting that.”

  48. Gil said,

    Great Peter line
    I don’t want your Mom to worry alright? When she worries she starts saying things like ‘I told you so’ or ‘Stop doing that I’m asleep’

  49. LaFlamme said,

    Ha! Yeah. And once, when he froze the world with everybody in it so he could address the audience: “Okay, go away now. I’m gonna do stuff to my wife.”

  50. Gil said,

    Meg and Chris both make disparaging ethnic remarks and then cut to the “More You Know” PSA background and tell of the wonderful things the Mexicans and Swedes have given us. Peter cacks on the Canadians, the screen stays blank, and Peter says” Canada sucks.”

  51. LaFlamme said,

    Totally. I remember that one. Those guys are freakin’ clever every once in a while.

  52. Gil said,

    Well, early night for me. I already won enough playing poker tonight, long day tomorrow.
    After work my daughter is being inducted (?) into the National Honor Society
    Then off to New Hampshire for a few days
    See ya

  53. Gil said,

    OK, one more matchup
    Fall out boys -vs- Panic at the Disco

  54. Linda said,

    Congratulations to your daughter Gil, you must be proud of her.

  55. Martha said,

    Gil, I reiterate what Linda said.

  56. Gil said,

    Thanks, we are very proud of her.

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