Last call

May 21, 2006 at 2:10 am (Uncategorized)

DT3.jpgSure. I could sit here and boast about my succesful, never surrender beer run to Medford, Mass. I could extol the virtues of Delirium Tremens ale and bemoan into the night the fact that the suds are not available in Maine. I could do all that, but I won't. This particular brew turns brain cells into wood shavings and I can't risk the few I have left. I have another rant to get to.
My rant is this: if Boston is such a badass boozing town, then why can't you buy a simple six pack in a corner store? This particular quirk in the Massachusetts liquor law has vexed me for years. Several states don't allow booze to be sold in grocery or variety stores, but most compensate by allowing a person to wander into a bar for beer to take home. Not Massachusetts. I once asked a Boston bartender to sell me a six pack and she looked at me as though I'd asked her if I could eat a puppy while sitting at the bar. In Massachusetts, you have to labor to a "package store," for your drink of choice. Whatever the hell that means. I typically have a package already when I come rolling into town. What I want is beer.
It's troubled me on those occasions when I'd be wheeling into Boston late at night after a long road trip to points south. It's 11 p.m. say, and all I want to do is grab a rack and head to a hotel. But you can't just hit a 7-Eleven and all the package stores, even Cappy's, for chrissakes, are closed for the night. A guy with road grit in his throat and weariness upon his bones has to either venture to a loud nightclub or resign himself to bottled water from the Mariott vending machine.
It's tragic. And what's with New Hampshire halting booze sales at midnight instead of 1 or 2 a.m? That's just friggin retarded. Anyone 18 or older can fill his car with cheap liquor and lottery tickets, but woe be unto the traveler who stops for a six pack of PBR at 12"05 a.m.
In Colorado you can buy beer in stores, but only the whimpy 3.5 near beer, I believe. It's hard to keep track in Colorado, I'm told. They keep changing the rules. In Pennsylvania, you cannot buy it in a store, but any barkeep will be glad to bag up all the beer or hard stuff you want. It's the same in Maryland and in Jersey. I have a funny Jersey story involving a frantic beer run by cab, a crazy nymphomaniac and a busted ankle. I'll tell you some other time. I'm on a rant.
In Puerto Rico, you can buy booze in stores, at bars and from street corner vendors. The beer comes in puny 10 ounce cans and the corner stuff might be suspect, but that's living. You can do enough drinking in Puerto Rico to dull your fear of the giant, maneating bugs encountered at every turn.
Florida, as I recall, you can buy beer in stores and last call isn't until 2 a.m. The same in the Carolinas. Virginia is fairly lax, but they also stop selling in the stores at midnight. What's this midnight crap? I once stumbled from a strip joint in Newport News before closing, like a responsible adult, only to get denied a beer sale at a corner store. What did I do? Exactly what you would have done. I went back to the strip joint.
As drinker friendly states go, Maine isn't all that bad. Not like Massachusetts, where they can drink like nobody's business, but they suck at selling the stuff.
Of course, if you really want to drink — if you want to wander from your hotel at 4 in the morning, buy a six pack, and then start drinking it right in the middle of the street, Vegas is the place to be. Vegas is heaven for the drinker. Most of my Vegas memories involve walking downtown with a plastic football filled with 60 ounces of beer. We're talking beer by straw, people! That's living. That's my rant. Enthrall me now by telling me how great YOUR home state is for liquor sales and liver disease. I'll be over here guarding my Delirum Tremens with artillery and attack dogs.
Vive Delirum Tremens!




  1. Mainetarr said,

    Glad to hear you found the beer. Hopefully you’re not to hung over to go to the bar-b-que. Mass is like going to a different country for me. Obviously, I don’t get out much. I remember going to visit my Aunt Suzie and Uncle Cappy in Lynn. There would always be a lasagna in the oven and my Uncle would be in the back yard drinking a beer and smoking a cigar while tending his vegetable garden. My Aunt was 5’11-and I swear she was born with an apron on. All she did was cook. Lynn was a rough neighborhood, but they were tough and my Aunt would yell at the kids on the block to straighten up or she would throw a shoe at them. She had an arm like Roger Clemens. I once caught a shoe in the middle of my back that was thrown so hard it brought me to my knees. I was 17 at the time and outside on the sidewalk. Some kid ran through her flowergarden and she threw a shoe at the little bastard and caught me by mistake. Jay-sus! Anyhow, I digress.

  2. Linda said,

    Great rant Mark! Glad you succeeded.

    I lived in Massachusetts for a long time. I can tell you from personal experience that there is NO AMOUNT of beer great enough to last from Dec 31 to Jan 2. However much you haul home from the package store, you’ll be high and very dry on New Years Day. I mentioned a Ground Round experience the other day: 4 little kids, 6 very thirsty adults, New Years Day, a clown …

    Back then, the 70’s, Connecticut was much worse in some way that I can’t quite recall, because I was always incapacitated myself by the time it became an issue for my brothers in law. Late-Saturday-night runs to — of all places — Massachusetts for more beer!!

    Barbecue today? Enjoy and have fun. Hope your editor friend appreciates the DT.

  3. Martha said,

    Mark.. you already covered PA.. what more is there to say? ūüė¶

  4. Mainetarr said,

    Hey Mark, over 20,000 hits on here! WOW!!!

  5. Treehugger said,

    Hey Tarr, how many times did you do something to the old llady that she didn’t catch you at?

  6. Herb said,

    Hey MT, what did you do after you were knocked to your knees in the back yard with your uncle?

  7. Linda said,

    MT, great story about Lynn. That’s just the way I remember it from my time there in the mid to late 70s. Compared to Rumford, people had no qualms about taking it to the street. Those Lynn kids knew how to dodge flying sneakers, I’m sure.

  8. jarheaddoc said,

    Linda, I spent some time in CT, at Groton, the sub base, and I have to say this about the state, in general: that entire place was in need of a road trip from the likes of the people who troll the hallowed waters of this blog.

  9. jarheaddoc said,

    Rumford: fun place. I did a stretch of part-time employment up there with the ambulance company that covers a ton of gegraphical area. You know you’re in trouble when the populace thinks going to Lewiston is going to take them three days and want to know if it’s okay to sleep on the side of the road down there. Then there were the people who had more beer in the fridge than teeth in their heads who wanted to sell you fiddleheads and dandelion greens. You could buy that entire area for about ten dollars if the mill shut down.

  10. Linda said,

    jd, when I lived in Massachusetts, my favorite relatives lived in CT and we had many wild road trips to see them, sometimes late at night on impulse. We always brought a lot of beer and also Dewars and Jim Beam, just to cover the weekend (that was before we discovered wine).

    But I never brought a goat, never mind a herd of randy billies, and i don’t recall any roosters. Of course the back seat was usually pretty raucous and a stowaway rooster could have been a possibility.

  11. Linda said,

    Yes, you’ve been to Rumford. Can you believe I grew up there and turned out to be so sane and normal?

  12. jarheaddoc said,

    OH MY GOD, LINDA, AND TO THINK I CALLED YOU A FLATLANDER FERRENER! But then again, considering I grew up mostly in Poland, anything South of Gray or North of Lewiston pretty much made everyone a ferrener.

  13. Linda said,

    You grew up???

  14. jarheaddoc said,

    Well, my body did is what I should have said.

  15. jarheaddoc said,

    Life is just entirely too short to take everything in the world too seiously, Linda.

  16. Linda said,

    A keen sense of irony — the most important survival skill

  17. jarheaddoc said,

    I will catch up with you later, Linda. The sun is out and I am headed to Home Depot for some plywood for a cabinet I am building for my wife.

  18. K2 said,

    You can thank Puratinism for the blue laws. So much for the seperation of church and state.

    PA is really bad. Fortunately, I grew up in Binghamton, NY, right over the boarder, so we always stocked up and beerskis prior visiting our cottage outside of good old Montrose, PA.

    In New Mexico, you can’t buy beer on Sunday. Imagine it’s NFL Playoff Sunday and you have no beer. I found that out the hard way once when I was visiting my brother out there. And the Vikings lost, like 42-3 to the ‘Niners. A nightmare beyond compare.

    I also believe Colorado’s corner-store beer is only 2.2%. Might as well drink shandy.

    Maine ain’t bad, but 1 am at bars is weak. And the the no-beer-before-nine-on-Sundays really can negatively affect one’s early morning skiing or golfing.

    Gotta be 2 am minimum closing time. Bars in Buffalo, NY are open till 4 am. A drinking town if there ever was one.

    Florida has drive-through liquor stores. Nothing says contradiction or hypocrisy like buying beer through your car window, with the engine running and the tunes blaring. Now that’s the freedom our forefathers faught for.

    As an aside, a 26-year-old girl up at the Settlement in Sabattus just told me that she got denied a LIGHTER at some store ’cause she didn’t have an ID. What has this country come to?

    Mark, enjoy the DT. Remember that liver is evil — it must be punished.

  19. Herb said,

    California, you can buy anything on Sunday, and as you are leaving the store, they insist you take a free bag of ice. Of course California is also the same place where MJ is sold by prescription.

  20. Phuket Patty said,

    Hi Herb-san….

    Me luv you. You spend buku bucks on me and my teen friends!

  21. LaFlamme said,

    Yeah, what’s with that “not before noon” limitation on Sunday? We’re still clinging the idea that people shouldn’t have a brew before church? Why the hell not.
    I expect Bobbie to pop in and point out everything I got wrong about Colorado beer sales.

  22. Linda said,

    In England they used to close alcohol sales in the pubs at 6 pm so people (men that is) would go home to their families .. i think they would open again later in the evening … anyhow for what we would call “last call,” they had the “six o’clock swill.” Don’t you love it??

  23. LaFlamme said,

    I wonder how it is in Ireland? In Italy? My brother had many good things to say about the siestas in Seville, Spain. It would go something like this: “Man, these afternoon siestas with wine and shade are…. *snoooooooooore*”

  24. LaFlamme said,

    I had a hard time getting up after the above photo was taken, by the way. Feet were tangled up in the steering wheel.

  25. K2 said,

    I meant to give you full points for the effort. I didn’t think you Union guys would do a shot like that without a stand-in.

    So, I should expect my DT in the mail on Tuesday? . . .

  26. Linda said,

    I especially liked the way you kept a choke hold on the bottle while seemingly unconscious. Good reflexive action

  27. Bobbie said,

    I guess I can’t disappoint Mark today by not commenting. Atleast you got the percentage right-it’s 3.2, not 2.2. They actually used to sell wine in the corner stores that you could buy at 18, but not anymore.

    No beer sales from midnight to 5 AM here. When I was working at the corner store on the 10-6 shift, I would always have someone waiting for it to be 5 AM according the cash register so that they could purchase the first of many 12 packs for the day. If someone couldn’t make it to the store by midnight and I knew them, I’d purchase their beer for them and then collect the money from them when they got there. The only drawback to that was that the beer had to be out of the store once it was purchased and if it was a hot night, the beer would be on the warm side by the time they arrived.

    The liquor stores around here usually open at 8 AM and close at midnight. The liquor stores carry 6% beer. They usually have some pretty good deals on beer, especially when it’s hunting season. The hunters load up on the brew the night before and then wonder why they don’t get anything the next day. No deposit here either, but all of the cans are marked for the areas that do have a desposit. The liquor stores are closed on Sundays, so unless you’ve stocked up, you’ll have to settle for the 3.2 on those days.

    When I was stationed at Ft. Carson, as long as you looked old enough, places off post would sell you anything without carding you if you were in uniform. If you went to the Class VI store on post, they’d card you every single time you went in. At Ft. Jackson, they’d card you going into a bar and if you were under 21, you had to have a nice little red “M” on your hand. Didn’t work too well because the first time that you washed your hands, the “M” magically disappeared.

    The bars here will sell you a six pack at 1:30 AM, but they charge you the regular per bottle price, so it ends up costing you over $10 bucks, depending on what you’re drinking at the time.

  28. Bobbie said,

    In Germany, you could actually get beer delivered to your door. The beerman would come around once or twice a week, take your order and then haul it up three or four flights of stairs for you. Triblebock (triple the alcohol content) would knock you on your butt after a couple of them and you could get a rack of them (16, if I remember correctly) for less than $10 when the exchange rate was good. You could also get soda and other drinks from him as well. The Spetzi was always a favorite at our house, as well as the orange juice. The good thing about it was that all you had to do was leave your empties outside your door and he’d being you the next round.

  29. LaFlamme said,

    Ah, there you go. A drinking playbook for Colorado.
    Sadly, I only got three wine-sized bottles of DT in Massachusetts, the last three they had. They had this other stuff called “Delirium Noctum” (or something like that), but at ten bucks a bottle, I skipped that stuff.
    I wonder if DT can be shipped to a private resident in Maine. Any liquor transport experts out there?

  30. Bobbie said,

    I gave you the web address for a place in California called in one of the previous blogs. It did say that they shipped to Maine. Let me see if I can find it again for you. I do know that they offer DT for shipment.

  31. Bobbie said,

    Sorry about the error in the name. This is the site that I was referring to. This should actually get you right to the point where you can order DT on line.

  32. Bobbie said,

    You do have to be a member to order from them. I’ll leave the pesky little details to you.

  33. jarheaddoc said,

    The drinking age at Great Lakes was 19 on base for 3.2 beer and 21 off base, but we seldom had a problem getting served when in uniform, in a group, and with someone able to produce an ID. But those were the good old days, when you were old enough to buy if you were old enough to die. Let’s all hoise one for all the udnerage troops who have died to protect stupid laws restricting the same of a legal drug.

  34. AO said,

    You only got three bottles? WTF! Does that mean I don’t get to try it? I’m bumming!

    K2, I won’t sell a lighter to anybody I don’t think old enough. If I did, I could pay a hefty fine. Hell, I won’t even hand out free matches to anyone who looks under the age of 18.

  35. Linda said,

    Long way to go for three bottles, but at least they are big

  36. K2 said,

    Bobbie, you got me. Well, it was .2 somthing, anyway. Haven’t been there since ’96. Skied Vail, Beaver Creek, Arapaho Basin, Copper Mt., and Winterpark/Mary Jane in a week with a friend. Best . . . skiing . . . ever.

    Mr. (D)T, I think it’s actually illegal to ship beer through the mail. A buddy from NY and I used to do that with our homebrews, but one time I got scolded at the post office. I felt shame.

    Has anyone noticed the incredible amounts of hemlock pollen? My neighbors and I were watching huge yellow plumes puffing out of trees in the wind. At one point, the air was totally filled with pollen. And I got to thinking: that’s essentially hemlock semen, and I’m essentially coated in batch and breating straight batch and oh my god I’m a an ameteur porn star in one of Mo’ Nature ‘s surreal porn flicks. I’ve never felt so used.

    At least the rain is here to wash that sweet tree love into the proverbial gutter.

  37. K2 said,

    Me no spell well. *burp*

  38. AO said,

    K2, You spell just fine, DB. *buuuurrrrrp*! Sorry, just finished with a cookout!

  39. Linda said,

    Here’s a copy-and-paste from a web site that ships beer. Let’s all write to our legislators and complain. Maybe David would write an editorial?

    “ limits shipments to those 23 states/possessions in which interstate shipment and importation of alcohol is permitted by state authorities. These are states in which may ship to you and you may import beer into your state for your personal consumption. If your state is not indicated in the list of 2 letter state abbreviations below then we will not ship beer to your state. Non-alcoholic beer can be shipped to any state. For more information see: Why don’t you ship to my state?, below.

    CA, CO, DC, GA ID, IL, IA, LA, MN, MO, NE, NM, NV, NH, NC, ND, OH, OR, SC, VA, WA, WV, WI, WY.”

  40. Linda said,

    Actually there’s quite a bit more info and it’s pretty funny toward the end of the FAQ. You might want to read the rest.

  41. vanessa said,

    herbie u chump u have only dreamed of having a woman like me~what was wrong with my pic am i too old for u i heard u are into the young ones~~oh well ur loss oldielocks~i have heard alot about u herb~i know ur type into the young girls~sorry i dragged mt and mark into it i wont bother u guys anymore i just wanted the old perv to see what he was missin

  42. K2 said,

    No intoxication without representation!

    The pink elephants are coming! The pink elephants are coming! . . .

    The Boston Tea Bag Party — watch the British navy get sacked!

  43. Linda said,

    Yup, that’s what I like about this blog. Something for everyone.

  44. Bobbie said,

    Notice that Colorado is on the list. The local post office here is notorious for not asking what’s in the package that you’re mailing. Need I say more?

  45. AO said,

    Nope! Bobbie, thank God they don’t ask! Ha.

  46. Anonymous said,

    Mark! On The Family Guy they’re looking for someone to rant! its the perfect job for you, eh?

  47. Linda said,

    That was me, of course

  48. Mainetarr said,

    Well folks, I think I now qualify as a shareholder of The Home Depot. I got a ton of plants (yes, AO, real ones!!) I planted along the house. A friend of mine said you can’t go wrong with hosta, so I bought a few and planted them before the rains came again. I really bought them because the name sounds like Hostel (the movie I love so). I hear they are no brainers, just put em in the ground and let them go. We put in some fence posts and cemented them, Chris will be finishing the fence tomorrow, yippppeeeeee!!! We also have doorbells now too. I bought a bunch of hanging plants, plant food, and potted some others. I am pooped!! How was everyone else’s weekend?

  49. Linda said,

    Sounds great MT. My neighbors planted a row of hosta last year, they can’t see them from inside their house but I enjoy them every day!

    All very quiet here in Wilton. My weekend was nuts (as you could plainly see) but now I’m caught up on my rest and ready for the new week!

    quiet around here

  50. AO said,

    Hosta. No brainer! You should see the hosta I have growing in the front of my house! They almost take over the whole front yard. But, did you know that there are different types?

  51. LInda said,

    I guess the more hosta, the less mowing, AO

  52. LaFlamme said,

    Overall it wasn’t bad, but the sharp points made me bleed.

  53. Anonymous said,

    K2, you shoulda called everybody over for a fertility ceremony or somthin

  54. Gil said,

    Home at last. Had to make a run of my own. Except I got paid very well for it. Gotta love thos double time service calls to Rindge, NH. Only bad thing is it’s a 3 1/2 hr ride one way.
    Glad to see you got your beer Mark. Did Tully’s in Wells not have any?
    When I was a kid in Florida they didn’t sell alcohol period on Sunday. You had to go to a bar. Then they lifted the blue laws and I became an alcoholic. Well, a drunk anyway. I didn’t have time for all those damn meetings.
    Kenosha, Wisconsin was the drinkingest town I ever lived in. It held the distinction at the time of having the most taverns per capita. It was a blue-collar factory worker town, AMC used to be there and there are several others still operating out of there. Back then (Late 80’s, early 90’s) they had 2 or 3 drive-up liquor stores. I still remember the ones in Orlando K2. Al E Gators was the biggest one. Drive in, place your order, and they loaded it into your trunk for you.

  55. Gil said,

    And by the way K2, if the pollen shower is Mo Nature’s idea of the money shot, then wouldn’t the rain be the nature equivalent of a golden shower?
    Now, do you feel cleaner, or would you like to slip into your urinal funnel rubber mask?

  56. Gil said,

    Will these idiots never learn?
    If you don’t like Fox News (Dan, we know you’re lurking out there) don’t open. It’s bad news for Dems.,2933,196379,00.html

  57. Gil said,

    You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait. Do not even wait,be quite still and solitary, The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice. It will roll in ecstasy at your feet.
    – Franz Kafka
    Zen Thought for the day
    From your friendly Buddha cowboy

  58. Martha said,

    I’m just doing weather “tidbits” at work.. Rainfall for Auburn over the last 24 hrs…was .99 inches.
    Brunswick got .79.

  59. Martha said,

    Here are a couple more… 1832 Kennebec flood discharged 140,000 feet of water per second.

    1911… Lewiston, had a temp of 101.. hottest ever in New England during May.

  60. LaFlamme said,

    Okay, before anyone starts ragging on me for not posting something new, let me give you this super credible excuse: Something suddenly came up. And to further distract you, I’ll ask what television show that comes from and who said it.

  61. Martha said,

    LOL Mark… nice try….

  62. LInda said,

    The really surprising thing is that you manage to post so often. Take a day off mate! Give us a chance to miss you , you know?

    Happy Monday all

  63. Mainetarr said,

    goodmorning everyone. I hope everybody has a good Monday. How was the BBQ Mark? And the beer? Did it go over well?

  64. Martha said,

    Hey Linda, I’m curious. You grew up in Rumford.. did you know any of the Powells from Mexico?
    My dad’s family is from that area.

    JD.. Poland.. please tell my you don’t know my ex.. he’s from out Johnson Hill way.

  65. Linda said,

    Hi Martha

    When I was growing up, there was quite a division and rivalry between Rumford and Mexico (doesn’t seem to be the case any more). I don’t remember knowing any Powells — let me think about it for a bit —

    Bye for now, hard to believe but I am at work for a regular day shift, see you al tonight

  66. jarheaddoc said,

    Martha, I would need a name. I was on the other side of town, near Worthley Pond and Range Pond State Park. I was not considered part of the upscale crwod, by any stretch, if there was such a thing back then.

  67. Martha said,

    JD, I don’t know how old you are.. Believe me, my ex wasn’t and isn’t particularly high class either. His brother lived for a time in the trailer park there on Hardscrabble Rd.. can’t remember the name of it off the top of my head.. Here’s a hint… do you remember the huge snow storm back in April.. I think 84.. and they had to take a woman in labor from there out to meet the ambulance by snowmobile.. that was my exbrother-in-law’s now ex-wife… See, I just don’t want to get in trouble for posting names in the blop.. besides, although I still carry the name, I’m not sure I want people to know I was connected to my ex. It wasn’t the best decision I ever made.

  68. jarheaddoc said,

    More than a few of us are in that situation, a bad choice marriage. Live and hopefully learn, I guess. MT knows how to get hold of me.

  69. Herb said,

    By the way Vanessa, the Somaliis, Indians, and Arabs love fat white women, you should really have a ball, with MT forwarding all your emails.

  70. Martha said,

    Believe me.. I learned.. it took 2 tries with the same guy, but I learned.. I’ve been single for almost 17 years and expect to stay that way. The nice thing is, I’ve learned to be pretty well content with things the way they are.

  71. Gil said,

    To answer Mark’s question, it was The Brady Bunch. Greg Brady used that line when getting a stiffy.

  72. jarheaddoc said,

    Greg was never that philosophical, gil. Mr. Spock, I could see that. And certainly not Maxwell Smart.

  73. Mainetarr said,

    Martha, I am from Poland too, that’s how I know JD. We went to school together. E-mail me the names and I bet I will know who they are. And the park you are talking about, was it Brookdale Village? I lived in East Poland, that wasn’t far from me. I remember taking my snowmobile and going from house to house with my neighbor checking on folks after that storm you referenced.

    By the way Herb, I will not be forwarding any more e-mail, not to worry.

  74. Treehugger said,

    Hey Vanessa, I’d appreciate anything, YOU would send me!

  75. Herb said,

    Frankly Mainetarr my dear, I don’t give a damn.

  76. Herb said,

    It will be interesting to see what MUSTAFA has to say.

  77. K2 said,

    Gil, I never have understood how piss and sex coulld possibly intersect in some sort of passion. Thus, I prefer to view the rain as Mo’ Nature’s sweat from a good old fashioned slammin’.

    Yeah, Patrick Kennedy, Rep. McKinney, and Rep. Jefferson are doing the Dems no favors. But with Bush polling in at 29%, and the Republican-controlled congress polling far worse than Bush’s miserable number, I’m not too worried about November.

    Still, it’d be nice if there were some decent freaking candidates on either side of the isle. or some decent ideas. Or policies. Or honest people. Etc.

  78. Mainetarr said,

    Herb, I am not your dear, so let’s get that straight right now. If you want to be a pissant because I forwarded an e-mail to you, then so be it. At least I didn’t give out your e-mail address to anyone and I just forwarded it along. Apparently, being confidential wasn’t enough for you. Well, so be it. If you want to be an asshat with me, then go ahead.

  79. Ray said,

    Herb, if you got the same picture I did, I offer this advice to you: don’t take your nitro on top of the Viagra it will take for you to get an erection. Unless, of course, you want to come and go at the same time, which might not be such a bad thing. I feel sorry for you if the written sarcasm doesn’t tranlsate well for you.

  80. jarheaddoc said,

    Ray, Herb is probably at the pooint where he would need an Erection Set to get it up, and the mental picture of him doing that is….well, I hate to be at a loss for words, but I just can’t find the words

  81. K2 said,

    And swallow that viagra quickly or you’ll get a stiff neck.

  82. jarheaddoc said,

    Did you get the picture, too, K2?

  83. Linda said,

    I thought I’d check in during my lunch break, but it seems like a good time to sit back and say nothing. The tribe has spoken — or it will have by this evening, I guess

  84. jarheaddoc said,

    Hey, Linda, good to hear from you during the daylight hours. Hope you got your sunglasses on: it doesn’t sound like your retinas are used to seeing the light of day.

  85. Mainetarr said,

    Hi there Linda. I hope you are having a good day. Are you finally back to regular hours? I worked the overnight shift for many years and I liked it a lot, took forever to get used to days. But, it is hard on your system. Also, you have to add Hostel to the list of must see movies.

  86. Robert said,

    Geez, go away for a few days anbd see what happens – this blog is all over the place…
    Mark, glad you found your beer, but I’d luv to see you try to promounce and order more after downing a few, now that would be worth paying for.

    Hope everyone is doing well the sun is out (for now)

  87. Mainetarr said,

    Robert!! Where the heck have you been? We were just assembling a search party. Whatyoudoon? Just to get you up to speed, today is anti-Mainetarr Day. Welcome. Muahhhh!

  88. Mainetarr said,

    K2, I’m with you on that, I wish there would be decent candidates to pick from. Lately, it’s been slim pickins on both sides.

  89. Ray said,

    Herb, I hate to be the one to break this to you, but after examination of the rest of that photo of Vanessa, I must conclude that Vanessa is really vincent. The penis is what really clued me in. I hope you didn’t waste too many of your blue bombs so you could rub one out. Just remember what I said about taking your Nitro and Viagra together: you have 48 hrs. to wash your hands

  90. jarheaddoc said,

    LaFlamme for president. Then we could get rid of those stupid laws about closing the bars so goddam early

  91. Linda said,

    I love working nights but I hate sleeping days. You can only keep that up for so long.

    Also, I hate sleeping nights. I’d so much rather be awake, at any time. But at night there’s less to do, can’t do the weed whacking (hi Martha!) or the grocery shopping. Pretty much the only people you can call on the phone are in India. It’s just easier to go to bed.

    Well all that was true until I “met” LaFlamme and Martha.

    Jarhead, I need sunglasses today but don’t we all!

  92. LaFlamme said,

    Sure. Greg Brady used that excuse and passed it on to Marcia when she wanted to cancel the date with Charlie. Then, in an ironic twist, Marcia’s big man on campus date used the same line with Marcia after she took a football to the face. “Ooh, my nose! Ooh, my nose! Ooh, my nose! Ooh, my nose!”
    Then Marcia, purple and swollen, took Peter in Tiger’s doghouse and taught him the ways of step-sisters love.

  93. K2 said,

    Jan did some porn in her later years, I heard.

    And Mike Brady paid guys so he could blow THEM. Go figure.

    Still, they had to mow that astroturf yard almost everyday. And their homeowner’s insurance premium was ruthless thanks to that damn trampoline.

  94. LaFlamme said,

    I heard it was Cindy who did porn. I also heard Greg and Carol were doing it between takes.

  95. Mainetarr said,

    Greg Brady is now a DJ on Sirius radio. Peter Brady was on Surreal Life on VH1 and hooked up with a contestant from America’s Top Model and now they have a spinoff called My Fair Brady on VH1. It’s hysterical. They are planning their wedding right now and got into a big fight on the last episode and Peter was talking to Greg for advice. There is a PA in my office that knows everything there is to know about the Brady Bunch. We have been unable to stump him with any Brady trivia.

  96. LaFlamme said,

    Ask him the name of the boyfriend who broke the date with Marcia after the football incident. And what about the name Peter used when he donned a fake mustache and went on a double date with Greg.

  97. Mainetarr said,

    The name of the guy who broke the date with Marcia was Doug Peterson and Peter’s fake name, when he went to the Italian restaurant was Phil Packer.

  98. Mainetarr said,

    He said it from the episode when Carol and Mike took the Sanchez’s out to the Italian restaurant. But you almost stumped him on that one.

  99. LaFlamme said,

    Holy shit. Okay, he’s good. I remember Phil Packer (Parker?) very well, because I used to use the name in bars.
    Cindy’s doll name? The one she lost?

  100. Mainetarr said,

    Kitty Carry-all. It was Parker, I heard him wrong and now we are all laughing hysterically over here.

  101. Gil said,

    Get it? Packer? Mike Brady? Almost stumped him?
    Am I the only one who thinks this way?

  102. LaFlamme said,

    What was the name of Alice’s sister, who came to fill in and ran the Brady family like an army drill sergeant?

  103. Mainetarr said,

    When Cindy lost the doll, she blamed Bobby. When he went to Driscoll’s to replace the doll, it was the same toy store that Peter had saved that girl’s life in. Remember?

  104. Mainetarr said,

    Alice’s sister is named Kay.

  105. Mainetarr said,

    What was the name of the construction company that was building the hotel in Hawaii for Mike Brady?

  106. LaFlamme said,

    Friggin’ beats me. I just remember Vincent Price going: “Take any Tiki!!”

  107. Mainetarr said,

    Here’s another one for you….what was the name of the Planet that the martians came from in the UFO episode? And what was Bobby going to be on that planet?

    I have the answers to these questions, by the way.

  108. Gil said,

    K2, I’m with you 100%. But until there is a better choice, we’ll be stuck with the lesser, um, better of, no, best, no, wait, I guess we’re just stuck.
    And speaking of Mike Brady and politics:

  109. K2 said,

    Yeah, being gay really sucks.

    Phil Packer? Don’t know him. Is he related to Phil McCracken and Ben Dover?

  110. K2 said,

  111. Martha said,

    JD and MT, just for curiosity… where in Poland is Worthley Pond? I know where the one near Rumford is, and I know Range Ponds, but am not familiar with Worthley.

  112. Mainetarr said,

    It’s over by Range Pond State Park. It’s pretty much hidden from view, but it is a great fishing spot.

  113. Robert said,

    Mainetarr….its geat fishing but getting in can be a bitch!

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