Your cup runneth over

May 22, 2006 at 2:00 pm (Uncategorized)

brasize.jpgOkay, people. It's only Monday and I'm excited. I'm excited because I just glanced a JC advertisement that announced a bra fitting. This excites me because I had no idea there were such events called bra fittings. I've dreamed of such things, of course, but never knew they happened in the real world. Oh, flurry of images.

I'm doubly excited because the ad, which trumpets that "we've got your size," boldly announces that AA through J cup sizes are available. There are J sized cups out there walking among us? What does it look like? No matter how much I strain my imagination, I keep seeing those carnival rides tea cups attached to the front of a woman's body.

I'll be the first to admit that I'm bra illiterate. I can operate the most advanced snap out there, but when it comes to the numbers and letters, you might as well be speaking Greek. And this J cup concept, well… Take me to the carnival.

giant-bra.jpgSo, the more worldly of you will need to educate me on just what happens at these bra fittings. Otherwise, you'll read about a strange, lecherous man who crashed through the ceiling tiles at JC Penney after spending three days up there gawking. Let us hope I land safely in a J cup.

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201 Comments

  1. Deedle said,

    Mark , you poor sheltered man … where have you been living in a cave ? I will gladly tutor you on bra sizes , we can start with my double d’s 🙂

  2. LaFlamme said,

    I would consider it a matter of participtory journalism. Yes, I have that kind of commitment to the job.

  3. JC said,

    Hey Mark, I just looked at the ad and learned that JCP has over 11,000 professionally trained Certified Bra Fit Specialists, AND 8 out of 10 woman don’t wear the correct bra size. So, my first question is how do you become one of 11,000 Certified Bra Fit Specialists, AND the second question is were are the 8 out of 10 woman that need help.

  4. Mainetarr said,

    Vanessa would be a j cup. No question about it.

  5. LaFlamme said,

    Yeah, I saw that. But again, I only looked at that photo out of journalistic integrity. I’ll have my report on your desk first thing in the morning.

  6. Gil said,

    Giggity-giggity-gig–git-ty

  7. LaFlamme said,

    You raise great questions, JC. It’s incumbent upon me to get my ass over to JC Penney and to really get my hands on this mystery.

  8. LaFlamme said,

    Hey, Gil. Did you see Quagmire last night in the old folk’s home? “Giggity, Gig… Oops. Just pooped a little.”

  9. JC said,

    I am gleaming with anticipation for the report.

  10. Ray said,

    MT, Vanessa was a saucer size: that’s how big my eyes got when I saw the picture. At least the top anyways.

  11. LaFlamme said,

    Bra fittings. Old Deedle there accused me of living in a cave. But do all guys know about these things? Did I miss a memo or something?

  12. Gil said,

    What picture?

  13. Bobbie said,

    If you’re having trouble wrapping your head around the concept that a female actually wears J’, then please don’t strain yourself thinking about double ZZ’s, Mark.

    The show Tripping the Rift (on Sci-Fi) had a character named Spamela Anderslut who needed massive boob support or else she’d fall on her face. That would be what double ZZ’s would look like.

  14. LaFlamme said,

    Oh, sure. You see those random photos (except Gil, apparently) of girls with breasts so large, other objects orbit around them. But those are rare. The J has to be at least somewhat common to inspire JC Penney to wheel in those bras on flatbed trucks.

  15. Gil said,

  16. Ray said,

    Do they have underwear specialists, too? And Mark, be careful what you ask for, you just might get it. What’re you gonna do if Dan/Jean/FB shows up and wants a fit while he/she/it is still trying to sort through its gender confusion?

  17. LaFlamme said,

    Buzzkill!!!

  18. Ray said,

    Might as well add that old hag of an English teacher you had in high school, too. This is just the DT taking over, mark. this is not real, it’s only an illusion.

  19. Bobbie said,

    Someone out there is probably wanting to do this, but doesn’t quite dare, so here goes-Mark, I dare you to go get a photo of you wearing the J size bra and then post it for all of us to see. That way, Gil can get his cheap thrill for the day.

  20. LaFlamme said,

    I’ll get through most of the day before I start pondering the dark side of the bra fitting.

  21. LaFlamme said,

    If I can get my hands on a J cup bra, I’ll take that photo. And probably enjoy it just a little too much.

  22. Bobbie said,

    I know that you’d enjoy it just a little too much. That’s why I suggested it. It’s too good a dare for you to pass on.

  23. LaFlamme said,

    Great. So all I have to do is go out and find women suffering from gigantisism and politely ask if I can borrow their bras.

  24. Bobbie said,

    No, no, no. You have the dare all wrong, Mark. You are suppose to go over to JCP, try a J cup bra on and then get someone to take your picture for you.

  25. jarheaddoc said,

    Watch out when those bad boys come unhinged, Mark, you could be in the way of a gravity assisted mound of flesh. I can see the headline now: Pervert Reoorter and Author Killed While _______. fill in the line, folks. How the hell would the nice obit lady write that one up?

  26. LaFlamme said,

    Tragic. And yet fitting, so to speak.

  27. Bobbie said,

    Someone that I went through school with had large breasts and we always wondered how she ran without giving herself a black eye or two along the way. One day in gym class, we were playing volleyball and she managed to get the ball stuck between her arms and her breasts. Someone else in the gym class thought that she would be smart and try to beat the ball out. I’ll leave the rest to your vivid imaginations.

  28. jarheaddoc said,

    Gil, good try on that link, but that’s for people who are grossly overweight, not grossly overendowed.

  29. "Weasel Junior" said,

  30. AO said,

    Bra fittings. Ha. Not on your life! I’d be running and screaming out of that fitting room before they even got the tape measure out!

  31. Linda said,

    When I saw that ad, first thing I thought was: somebody from the Lost Sole is reading that and starting to go tick-tick-tick like a geiger counter. So predictable!

    And for the record, I think the part about 8 out of 10 women wearing the wrong bra size is a crock, made up by JCP to tout work and sales for their 11,000 Certified Bra Fit Specialists.

    I’m with AO: like I can’t figure it out for myself?

  32. LaFlamme said,

    Uh oh. Linda is onto our conspiracy, boys. Scramble!!

  33. Linda said,

    Sure, like you’re all so subtle that we might not notice you’re crazy as coots. If we minded, we’d be outa here

  34. LaFlamme said,

    I just asked one of my lady colleagues about the bra fitting. She said: “Where have YOU been?” I mean, what? I’m supposed to know about these things? Like I get invited aaaall the time?

  35. Linda said,

    I’m not sure you’ve actually been invited THIS time, Mark

  36. LaFlamme said,

    What?? I get nothing.
    Say, who invented the bra, anyway? Anyone know without resorting to Google? I think I remember that some doctor invented it, but I don’t recall the dude’s name.

  37. Bulldog said,

    I take it you never had the pleasure of meeting Busty Heart? Which, by the way is a very appropriate name for her.

    Her um, chest is bigger than your head (that’s just counting one of them). My brother used to DJ for her when she’d “perform” her very strange act (does anyone remember the Golden Banana in Massachusetts?). Anyway, I brought my dad to one of her shows and he has a picture with the infamous set plumped down on his shoulders and his head in between. Very interesting photo. Not sure where it is now. I’ll have to go find it……………….

  38. Bulldog said,

    Otto Titsling was the initial inventor of the bra but Phillips DeBrassiere stole the original from him and made millions. (I did not google this. Believe it or not, it comes from a Bette Midler song from the Beaches soundtrack. It’s called Otto Titsling).

  39. AO said,

    Only a man could come up with such an uncomfortable contraption. NOT that I need to wear one.

    Bulldoggy!! Where you been? It’s about time you show up!

  40. jarheaddoc said,

    I served with a Scandanavian guy in the military whose name was pronounced He-Gnawed-Her Tits Off. Poor bastard never did understand his lackanookie situation.

  41. Linda said,

    The Divine Miss M. And who remembers Delores Delgado … the mermaid costume … the wheelchairs … a very funky lady

  42. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    Several years ago I had a bra fitting so I could get the proper bra to go with a bridesmaid’s dress.

  43. AO said,

    How was it, Mandy?

  44. LaFlamme said,

    Was that the real Bulldog? Wasn’t very crass.

  45. AO said,

    It was her. I mean, who else would have a picture of their father with his head between to massive boobs? And, who else would take their father to a strip club? Only Bulldog.

  46. Gil said,

    A man is told by his doctor that he has to lose some weight and offers him a great deal on a new program
    “$1000 for 1 week, guaranteed 10 lbs lost in 3 days”
    The man thinks it over and agrees.
    The next day his doorbell rings, he opens the door and standing there is a naked, beautiful blonde, wearing only Nike’s and a sign.
    “Catch me, and you can have your way with me”
    She takes off running and he takes off chasing her. She runs at a pace that keeps her just out of reach for 2 miles. He finally catches her, but he’s too out of breath to do anything.
    The next 2 days the same thing happens. Same time, same blonde, same 2 miles.
    At the end of 3 days he is amazed to see he’s lost 12 lbs!
    He signs up for another week, this time $2000, 20lbs.
    Next day, same time, doorbell rings. Gorgeous brunette with a an even better body than the blonde. Reeboks and a sign is all she wore.
    “Catch me and you can have your way with me”
    This time she runs at a faster pace and they go 5 miles before he catches her. Again, he’s way too exhausted to do anything.
    3 days of this and he’s lost 21 lbs!
    He signs up for another week, $3000, 30 lbs.
    Same time, doorbell rings.
    He opens the door and sees a huge muscular, naked man with a ginormous hooha and pink adidas shoes. Ther’s a sign around his neck
    “If I catch you, you’re mine!”

  47. Phuket Patty said,

    Where is Herb? He luv me like a good GI Joe. Me can’t wait for him to come back to Thailand and help me celebrate my 12th birthday. Mmmmmm

  48. AO said,

    Mark, My husband said he’d go to J.C. Penney’s with you to check out the bra fittings.

  49. LaFlamme said,

    Roch? Damn straight. It’s a date.

  50. AO said,

    I’ll tell him. You guy’s will be in boobie heaven. Then you can go Thatcher’s after and chat all about it over a couple of beers. What time will you be picking him up? I’ll have him already to go. And, I won’t be held responsible for any embarrassing incidents that my occur. You two are on your own!

  51. K2 said,

    So a husband comes home and sees his wife rubbing mayonaise on her tits. He’s like, “What the hell are you doing?”

    And she says, “I read that if you rub mayonaise on your breats, it makes them bigger.”

    “Well,” he says, “why don’t you try rubbing ’em with toilet paper — it’s worked for your ass.”

  52. K2 said,

    Three women apply for a job at a bank. During the interview process, they’re all asked the same question: “You find that the bank has mistakenly deposited $10,000 into your account. What do you do?”

    The first woman says, “Well, I really need the money. I would take it and not say a word.”

    The second says, “Well, I would wait and see if I heard from the bank before I decided what to do.”

    And the third says, “I would immediately alert the bank to the error.”

    So, which one got the job?

    The one with the big tits. (Duh.)

  53. Gil said,

    This is why we must defeat Islamo-terrorism now.
    (Not political, funny as hell, and safe for work)
    The future of MTV in an Islamic world
    http://www.compfused.com/directlink/1409/

  54. K2 said,

    We need to stop the Evangelical fundamentalism on this end too, Gil.

  55. LaFlamme said,

    I have decided to spend the rest of the afternoon addressing women by their bra sizes rather than their names. Please bring beer to the emergency room when you come to visit me.

  56. AO said,

    How do you know what size bra they wear? Or, is that too personal a question. I thnk you must be going through the DT’s so, no more beer for you! And, Roch’s waiting for you.

  57. Linda said,

    Got bail money ready, AO? It could get really ugly.

  58. AO said,

    Nah, no bail money needed. Between the two of them, they probably know every damn cop in the Twin Cities.

  59. Linda said,

    Good point! a free pass to misbehave I guess

  60. AO said,

    Let ’em have at it! But, I guess it would be wise to warn the bra fitters at Penny’s. And, hey, I looked for that ad in today’s paper, couldn’t find it. Maybe it was only printed in Mark’s as a joke. Something to get him all excited about.

  61. LaFlamme said,

    It was in Sunday’s paper. A9.

  62. Linda said,

    I got it in the mail

  63. AO said,

    I already threw Sunday’s paper out. And, I didn’t get anything about it in the mail. Oh, well, guess I’ll just have to hear reports on it.

  64. Gil said,

    Bite me K2, let it go. Puff, puff, pass brother

  65. Bobbie said,

    I was going to join in this wonderful discussion, but I need to get off the system. Spring has arrived in Colorado with a bang-severe thunderstorm with large size hail is heading our way. They’ve already spotted 3 tornadoes trying to form in the Colorado Springs/Ellicott area with a tornado touch down in the Calhan area. The dog is getting antsy and has gone under the desk, so it’s time to put the car in the garage. Ain’t springtime wonderful?

  66. Linda said,

    Yikes, good luck Bobbie, sound the all clear for us when you can

  67. AO said,

    Wow! Bobbie, Be careful! Sounds like what you’re going through is more important than any sort of “bra talk”! Stay safe.

    Hey, we could start a blog in The Sun Urinal called, “Bra Talk”. Anybody want to join me? Linda? MT? I know, you’re in Mark.

  68. Linda said,

    Hey, we don’t even need a special blog, we could just jump in to one of the Our View posts and shill our subject — everyone else does that!

  69. AO said,

    Or, we could go in the Shopping Bags blog and spew all of our knowledge on bras. I just found that ad! Holy crap! Buy 2 bras, get 2 free! What a deal. But, if I’ve have to be “fitted” to get the deal, no deal!

  70. Mainetarr said,

    Let’s go girls. Let’s go to Our View and start talking boobies. I’m in.

  71. AO said,

    Which blog topic should we spew in?

  72. Mainetarr said,

    Don’t matter to me, I am ready to overtake Our View if you guys are. You with me? I’m heading over right now….

  73. AO said,

    Wow! I just looked closer at the picture at the top of the page, that is one GIANT bra! It looks like it’s providing coverage for a small city.

  74. AO said,

    I’ll look for you. They don’t like me very much anymore. I can see it now, “Boobie Talk with MT & AO at The Sun Urinal”

  75. Mainetarr said,

  76. Linda said,

    I’m right behind you MT. I made sure to take my husband’s name out of the name field — the account is registered to him. He wouldn’t have thanked me.

  77. Linda said,

    Good grief! and there I am wasting my time knitting socks!!!

  78. Linda said,

    Hey MT, great tie-in! how could they possibly object after that?

  79. AO said,

    Put’s knitting in a whole new light, doesn’t it, Linda? Ha. You could make a fortune!

  80. Linda said,

    A little loving in every stitch.

  81. Mainetarr said,

    lol

  82. Mainetarr said,

    you going to knit Dan a nutbra?

  83. Linda said,

    Only if you get me the measurements

  84. jarheaddoc said,

    Doctors should give those things out after a vasectomy. Add a weenie warmer to it and it would be the height of fashion in The County. You could knit them in flannel to match match those hats with the flaps on them.

  85. Linda said,

    And I’m not too sure if I can knit in rubber gloves

  86. Linda said,

    I’ve got a pattern for that jd, Got it — where else? — on the internet

  87. jarheaddoc said,

    MT, check your e-mail, wouldya? Give me a minute

  88. jarheaddoc said,

    What have the rubber gloves got to do with it, Linda? I’m sure you’re quite skilled with the needles, but you’d have a hard time finding anyone other than Herb willing to let you knit one of those things around his testaments.

  89. Linda said,

  90. Linda said,

    One of the important aspects of knitting is to be picturing the recipient as you knit. A zen thing. Come to think of it — can I knit with rubber gloves and double thorazine?

  91. jarheaddoc said,

    Linda, I didn’t doubt you a bit. I was wondering why you would be knitting with rubber gloves on if you’re not actually going to touch a man, you know, in hs nether regions

  92. Linda said,

    Well, wonder away jd.

  93. Linda said,

    And BTW, what is this, Jane Eyre? “nether regions?”

  94. jarheaddoc said,

    I did say testaments earlier. Who was Jane what’s her face, anyways, the one who sent you the pattern for the penis pocket?

  95. jarheaddoc said,

    Thanks for the infor, MT. Why are you and AO not in here ganging up on me? Have you found someone else with whom to have a battle of wits? I realize I am quite unarmed for the most part. But I still got your back, baby!

  96. AO said,

    A Willie Warmer. What a great idea.

  97. jarheaddoc said,

    A Johnson jacket

  98. Linda said,

    from “Jane Eyre”

    Anybody may blame me who likes, when I add further, that, now and then, when I took a walk by myself in the grounds; when I went down to the gates and looked through them along the road; or when, while Adèle played with her nurse, and Mrs. Fairfax made jellies in the storeroom, I climbed the three staircases, raised the trap-door of the attic, and having reached the leads, looked out afar over sequestered field and hill, and along dim sky-line — that then I longed for a power of vision which might overpass that limit; which might reach the busy world, towns, regions full of life I had heard of but never seen — that then I desired more of practical experience than I possessed; more of intercourse with my kind, of acquaintance with variety of character, than was here within my reach

    Are you sleeping yet?

  99. Linda said,

    So jd, is that a canoe in your pocket or are you just glad to see MT and AO?

  100. jarheaddoc said,

    Well, Linda, you just wonder away….

  101. jarheaddoc said,

    Could you translate that for me, Linda? All I udnerstood was intercourse

  102. AO said,

    A canoe? Surely you jest!

  103. Linda said,

    Will there ever be a day we don’t talk about underwear? probably not.

  104. jarheaddoc said,

    The only white man you can trust when he tells you he has a foot of wood is a carpenter. And only if he’s willing to drive nails through it to finish your house.

  105. AO said,

    Sounds like my kind of man. A carpenter. I need so much work done around my house!

  106. AO said,

    Sox’s are playing The Yankee’s tonight. I can’t watch.

  107. jarheaddoc said,

    Make sure you count his fingers before you hire him, AO: anything less than nine fingers and you’d better find someone else.

  108. Linda said,

    I can watch! 2 to 1 SOx

  109. Linda said,

    Ha! Manny HR — 2 more runs!!

  110. AO said,

    I know! But, IF I watch, I’ll jinx them!

  111. jarheaddoc said,

    It’s early, they have plenty of time to jinx themselves, ladies. I am signing off for a little while, as I need to go burn some wood scraps from the shop.

  112. Bobbie said,

    All of us made it through ok. As usual, we got a few sprinkles (which means I have to go water the lawn when I’m done here), lots of lightning and two huge claps of thunder that made the house shake and the animals scatter.

    The people in Calhan had it much worse than we did-right before the tornado touched down, the school bus was dropping kids off. The father had just enough time to grab the kids and head for shelter before their barns were destroyed. Thanks for the concern.

    We’ll probably never stop talking about underwear-it seems that JD has an underwear fetish. Who would have ever guessed that of him?!

  113. Bobbie said,

    Which blog did you guys invade earlier? Hopefully you lived up to the “bigot” lab that someone saw fit to stick us with. LOL

  114. Linda said,

    Relieved to hear that you are all OK there.

    Except for jd’s visit, the men are remarkably absent tonight. In fact, lately. Was it something we said? or didn’t say? or just short attention spans? Don’t know about you, but I find that if I do several things at once, none of them get boring so fast. Tonight my pager is being a bit of a pain and I’m having to spend some time on the phone. Anything to avoid driving over to work.

  115. Linda said,

    Bobbie, it went like this. The subject was how few Maine kids go on to college and graduate.

    Posted By: Mainetarr at May 22, 2006 07:13 PM (Suggest Removal)
    Flamer wants to go to college to become a bra fitter at JC Penney’s Jean. Maybe when he graduates he can fit you for a man bra. Does your cup runneth over?

    | Add Your Comment | Comment on Mainetarr’s Post | Read Comments: (0) |

    Posted By: Linda at May 22, 2006 07:17 PM (Suggest Removal)
    Important work, and only 11,000 certified in the occupation. A niche career opportunity

    | Add Your Comment | Comment on Linda’s Post | Read Comments: (0) |

    Posted By: Mainetarr at May 22, 2006 07:20 PM (Suggest Removal)
    Can you believe people actually get trained to fit bras? Where are the shopping bags? Why aren’t they all over this stroy? This is breaking news folks. 11,000 bra fitters. I wonder how many of them are illegal aliens? I added that last line because I am trying to be political, we are in Our View after all.

    | Add Your Comment | Comment on Mainetarr’s Post | Read Comments: (0) |

    Posted By: AO at May 22, 2006 07:21 PM (Suggest Removal)
    What did they call a man’s bra on Sienfeld? A Manssere?

    | Add Your Comment | Comment on AO’s Post | Read Comments: (0) |

    Posted By: Mainetarr at May 22, 2006 07:22 PM (Suggest Removal)
    http://www.devilducky.com/media/34116/

    | Add Your Comment | Comment on Mainetarr’s Post | Read Comments: (0) |

    Posted By: Mainetarr at May 22, 2006 07:23 PM (Suggest Removal)
    And what is up with that front closing bra? Is that for people too lazy to reach around the back?

    | Add Your Comment | Comment on Mainetarr’s Post | Read Comments: (0) |

    Posted By: Mainetarr at May 22, 2006 07:24 PM (Suggest Removal)
    where did you all go? You are looking at the nut bra, aren’t you? We should chip in and get one for Dan. That would be the nice thing to do, since this is the new and improved friendly blogspot, right? I’m in $10.

  116. AO said,

    Linda, The men are absent tonight because they’re all at J.C. Penney’s for the bra fittings.

    Bobbie, I’m so glad to hear that you’re all safe. And, phew!!, glad that father got his children to safety! I’m just sitting here thinking, How many time’s Ive watched the movie Twister? I love that flick. But, don’t think I’d want to live in an area that was always in fear of hurricanes.

  117. Bobbie said,

    Thanks. I found it. I’m surprised that someone hasn’t responded to it yet. Give him time, tho. You guys are funny. LOL

  118. Linda said,

    AO, did they really go? that’s hilarious. Not that I thought they wouldn’t …

  119. Bobbie said,

    What has hurricanes got to do with tornadoes?

  120. Bobbie said,

    Mark would definitely go. He’s got to honor the dare that I gave him earlier. I just want to see if he’ll do it!

  121. AO said,

    Nah, they didn’t go. Bunch of chickens. Go figure. Mark will drive all the way to Somerville Mass. to get three friggen bottles of DT but, he won’t scoot over the bridge to check out bras.

  122. AO said,

    Um, Bobbie, nothing. Just thinking about your weather made me think of the movie Twister. 🙂

  123. Mainetarr said,

    I am back, I was reading another website.
    How about a pecker parka? A willie windbreaker?

  124. Bobbie said,

    I understood that part, but then you mentioned hurricanes at the end of the post. Just wondering what the two had to do with each other, that’s all.

    Sounds like Round Two is starting, so I’m going to stop for now. Oh yeah, the closest I’ve ever been to a tornado is when one formed 2 houses down from us, it was sucked back up and then hit about 5 miles from the house. The next time that happens, I’ll have to make sure that I get some photos of the sky. It turns a gorgeous shade of green right before the funnel forms.

  125. AO said,

    Bobbie, Just stay safe!

    MT, A Pecker Parker. What a novel idea. I think you should run for governor. Has anybody ever told you that? 🙂

  126. Linda said,

    Anybody see Family Guy? President Douchebag?

  127. Mainetarr said,

    Hahahaha, douchebag. My second favorite word after Bastard.
    1. Bastards
    2. Douchebag
    3. Asshat

  128. Linda said,

    Unless the SJ troops are blogging into a post further down, we seem to have stopped the conversation over there. Do you think someone is screening?

  129. AO said,

    Always.

  130. AO said,

    Another good word: Fat Bastard. Good wine, good word.

  131. Linda said,

    more noise from the pager. Back in a little bit, I hope

  132. Mainetarr said,

    Mark, you bastard. Stop being an asshat and snorting all over the newsroom. People will start calling you a douchebag behind your back.

  133. AO said,

    Who? Dan?

  134. jarheaddoc said,

    I am going to do a damn dumb thing here and throw a male presence back into what’s turned into a female’s night. Fire away, ladies!

  135. AO said,

    Jarhead, All of us woman…LOVE men!…

  136. Mainetarr said,

    jarhead, I feel like being nice to you tonight. Did you get my e-mail with that link ok?

  137. jarheaddoc said,

    Be patient, I am just trying to think of the right answer to that statement

  138. jarheaddoc said,

    Ah, I got nuthin’!

  139. Linda said,

    Christ, he’s speechless? hard to believe

  140. AO said,

    And, I’ve heard that it’s men that “fire away” not women.

    MT, you’re still up?

  141. Ray said,

    Run while you can, Jarhead!

  142. AO said,

    Who’d a thunk it?

  143. jarheaddoc said,

    Just a slow thought night for me. I spent some time outside today on projects and the fresh air has made me tired.

  144. Linda said,

    No, he staked himself out, he’s not in a running mood

  145. Ray said,

    Jarhead, you are either damn dumb, as you admit, or some flocking brave.

  146. Mainetarr said,

    Ray, you asshat. Now you, I will pick on.

  147. Linda said,

    He already showed us before that he was brave, I think. Anyway, how scary can we be?

  148. jarheaddoc said,

    The conversation doesn’t seem too lively tonight, actually. I guess the underwear subject is getting old, and i wasn’t even the one to bring it up tonight. I think that was you, Linda, then you laid that load of…stuff…on me that’s supposed to me make me think. All it did was make my brain hurt

  149. Linda said,

    So, jd. Why exactly was it that you were such a jerk to me when you thought I was “from away”?

  150. jarheaddoc said,

    I am feeling schizophrienic tonight, maybe even suffering from a little multiple personality disorderish.

  151. AO said,

    7-1!!! Red Sox’s!!!!

  152. Linda said,

    Anyhow I apologize for the Jane Eyre.

  153. jarheaddoc said,

    S’okay, but I tried to get that Yahoo translation fucntion that’s tied to this thing to tell me what it said and my computer crashed.

  154. Linda said,

    Tell me another time about why you were so mean, if you’d rather. I don’t mind

  155. jarheaddoc said,

    In regards to #149, Linda: I spent many of my formative years not all that far from the Poland Spring Inn. I was going to say ‘grew up’, but you take umbrage with those words when they come out of my key board! It’s okay to ‘go away’, as long as you’re not ‘from away’.

  156. jarheaddoc said,

    I got that duplicate comment thing because something doesn’t want to run right, Linda.

  157. Linda said,

    I went to the Inn once with my husband’s family, when i came back from NZ for a visit. They hired a cottage there so we could all have fun together. Three of my brothers in law got kicked off the golf course for improper attire — and a few unfortunate divot incidents. Then we made a scene at the Saturday night entertainment, it was a really lame singer / performer who we took against at first sight. My brother in law Jim and I were trapped against the wall behind the table, and had to get out, so we went out a fire escape and climbed over a wall. they were so glad to see us go, but we had such a hilarious time. Laughed our asses off all weekend.

  158. jarheaddoc said,

    I am actually pretty conservative in my views, Linda, whether you belive that or not. I have a pretty hard attitude about ‘flatlander ferreners’ who move up here and want to turn Maine in N. Massachusetts, if that makes sense to you. I’ll certainly take your money, but I don’t have to take your bullshit, ya know? And if you don’t like the fact that Maniers hunt bears with traps, then stay in New Fucking Jersey and leave me the hell alone.
    Whew, enough of that. No, you turned out okay. This whole thing of my getting into this blog was a giant misunderstanding on my part. As you would say, okay to let it go, mate?

  159. Linda said,

    Umbrage is pretty strong. i was just rousting you up for the hell of it when i said that

  160. Mainetarr said,

    Ah, the Poland Spring Inn. Where the men are men and the sheep run scared.

  161. AO said,

    Time for bed. Tomorrow is another day of…running! Night you crazy bloggers!

  162. jarheaddoc said,

    See, you are true to your Rumford roots, Linda. I appreciate people who are anxious enough to get of this state when they’re young and smart enough to come back to it when they GROW UP.
    I wokred at the inn for a couple of summers. I was just a toadie and a servant and it made me biased against Massholes. I can take a lot of crap for my money, but back in that day I could make more money picking up bottles every day than I could after a day’s wages at the inn and having taxes taken out.
    You are obviously typing like crazy, as I was just told to slow down.

  163. jarheaddoc said,

    Ray, you chickenshit, where did you go?

  164. Mainetarr said,

    Misunderstanding my ass. I warned you.

    What swear words do you guys find funny?

  165. LaFlamme said,

    Okay. Jane Eyre and knitting? Man, what reeks of estrogen in here?

  166. Linda said,

    Right as rain. We all say whatever we want to say here but none of us are dumb enough to think that’s all we are telling.

    One of the books I read this month is a sort of defense and explanation of hunting and husbandry, written by a man i know who travels in circles where it needs defending. A fine book, from a fine man.

  167. Mainetarr said,

    yeah Ray, you chickenshit, where’d you go?

  168. Mainetarr said,

    yeah Ray, you chickenshit, where’d you go?

    Nite nite AO

  169. jarheaddoc said,

    Another word I like is obstreporous. Micturition is good. So is pemphagus. See, I could be the werid word person on your trivia team. What do you think Alex Trebek would do when I looked at him and said, “How the fuck should I know, Alex? It’s all fucking Greek to me.”

  170. Mainetarr said,

    Damn, doubleposted with a little addition. That’s freaky….

  171. Linda said,

    Christ, Mark, what do you expect? and are we getting any credit for our guerilla raid on the SJ, which is being pointedly ignored?

  172. Mainetarr said,

    He’d probably tell you to shut your face, asshat.

  173. jarheaddoc said,

    BOHICA: Bend over, here it comes again.
    FUBAR: Fucked up beyond all repair
    SNAFU: Situation normal, all fucked up.
    Goat smelling ass.
    Fucktard piece of shit.

  174. Linda said,

    Great vocabulary of favorites — from obstreperous to fucktard.

  175. Mainetarr said,

    jarhed, when are you coming to Auburn again?? It’s been a while since I’ve seen you. At least now that I have you hooked into the blog, I can talk to you. HA!

  176. jarheaddoc said,

    Assbag to zipperhead. I wish I had a better one for Z. X is pretty hard, too.

  177. Mainetarr said,

    Never know what you’ll get in here, eh mate?

  178. Linda said,

    jd, I didn’t really want or intend to come back. I meant to stay where I was. But circumstances brought me back, and my husband, who REALLY didn’t want to come back, came back too after a while. Now that I’m here I let off a little steam about the irony of it. But we both agree that this is where we are, and that’s not a bad thing, do you know what I mean?

  179. jarheaddoc said,

    MT, in all honesty, I am really looking forward to getting up to that area this summer. I am trying to get an old outboard running that is legal on the Range Pond chain and I want to go fishing with the kids. I have other relatives up there who are willing to watch the houseapes for a night, so maybe we can get together and fuck with this ASSHAT NAMED RAY WHO FUCKING ABANDONED THE BROTHERHOOD

  180. Linda said,

    Yes, where is Ray?

  181. Mainetarr said,

    I have a feeling Ray is always around. You gonna take the kids on Worthly Pond?

  182. jarheaddoc said,

    I defied my father by joining the Navy, then got out when he was dying from cancer. Sometimes I wish I had stayed in and done my twenty, but looking back at things, I would have done at least one tour in Iraq and/or Afghanistan, and I have a good family. My kids drive me nuts because they’re smart and I’ve always taught them to stand up for themselves and they have no fear of me. Now I just have to teach them patience, which is not my strong point, and civility, and MT, you just hsut your pie over that, eh, mate?

  183. Linda said,

    The Sox are snatching defeat from the jaws of victory (I didn’t make that up)

  184. Mainetarr said,

    I gotta hit the sack. Thanks for the conversation jd, linda and Ray-you asshat. Sorry for the drama with Herbivore earlier. I have been waiting for lesbian e-mail or stuff from Al Queida, but so far the only nasty e-mail I have gotten is from LaFlamme. HA!
    Have a good night you guys and I will talk with you tomorrow.

  185. jarheaddoc said,

    The Jesus freaks who own the lake had barricaded off the one entrance I know about the last time I got up there. I walked the lake with my son because I wanted to sit on the bridge I always sat on, you know, that bonding thing, and it was in a sad state of disrepair. I have a lot of good memories of the area, especially teh state park, and he’ll sometimes ask what my childhood was like. It’s not always easy to show him the world through my eyes, but he’s happy to show me the world through his.

  186. Linda said,

    jd, that’s the same reason I came back to Maine

  187. jarheaddoc said,

    Later, MT

  188. Mainetarr said,

    And patience is not one of your virtues, but we love you anyways jd

  189. Linda said,

    My son and our 4 year old granddaughter came to visit last August, and it was his greatest pleasure (and mine) to take her to the lake where he had so many happy times growing up. She’d never swum in a lake. Now she talks about it all the time with me on the phone.

  190. Linda said,

    Bye MT

  191. jarheaddoc said,

    I felt like I had to, that that was what people expected of me. Ya know, I’d been gone for four years, making my own decisions, seen a lot of the world, and I caved to what others wanted me to do. The truth is, my father wasn’t much of a parent to me and I learned to jsut avoid him and stay out of trouble. We got along much better as adults because he learned he didn’t have as much control over me and adjusted to it. The bastard basically threw me to the wolves on his death bed, stating my sisters needed him more than I did, and I was a long time in forgiving him for that. He did have some good qualities: he was a much better grandparent than a parent. I can only hope than I’m a better parent to my kids than he was to me.

  192. Linda said,

    I have an idea this pager is going to wake me several times tonight, so i better wander off to bed. Nice getting to know you better jd, I knew I’d get to hear some of your story one of these days.

  193. jarheaddoc said,

    Yeah, the wife is soundly a-snooze in the chair and I have to get up to get the kids on the bus in the morning. Yack with you later, mate.

  194. Linda said,

    I’m sure you are. My father in law was like that — my kids adored him, my husband couldn’t stand him. Makes it hard for the wife / mother / daughter in law, as well as for everyone else. Most things aren’t black or white. Not saying theyre grey necessarily — I mean theyre black AND white

  195. LaFlamme said,

    Dammit. One hooker downtown and I lost her. Had to come back to the office and do a lame story and now the streetwalker is gone. Does anybody feel my pain?

  196. Linda said,

    Not me.

  197. jarheaddoc said,

    Has your expense account been cut off after going out and buying that J cup bra, Mark?

  198. Gil said,

    Woman, 44, nabbed for sex with boy, 13. The Smoking Gun is – SWEET MOTHER OF GOD MY EYES MY EYES
    http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0519063nc1.html

  199. Martha said,

    This was definitely NOT the blog to be reading here at work tonight… you guys about killed me. I’ve been sitting here laughing and choking.. I’m surprised no one here has commented. LOL.. Now I’m going to be chuckling the rest of the morning… Make them wonder what I’m up to, huh?

  200. Bobbie said,

    That sounded eerily familiar, JD. And people wondered why I never stayed around for my mother’s funeral.

  201. Antibush said,

    Bush goes ballistic about other countries being evil and dangerous, because they have weapons of mass destruction. But, he insists on building up even a more deadly supply of nuclear arms right here in the US. What do you think? What is he doing to us, and what is he doing to the world?
    Are we safer today than we were before?
    The more people that the government puts in jails, the safer we are told to think we are. The real terrorists are wherever they are, but they aren’t living in a country with bars on the windows. We are.

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