May 25, 2006 at 12:31 am (Uncategorized)

Worumbo 015.jpgGo ahead. Search my writing room high and search it low. You won't find anything there that looks much like a good luck charm. And yet, such icons are everywhere. There are at least two items on the desk which I have to touch each night before I start writing. One of them is a rusty cog. The other is a snowglobe. There are other items around the room I poke absently but with precise ritualism before I shut out the light. There is a lot of touching going on in that room late, late at night. I'm a strange guy when it comes to superstition. In one breath, I'll tell you I take no stock in horoscopes or fortune telling. I don't carry a rabbit's foot and a four leaf clover is only as tasty as one with three leaves. But the next sentence out of my mouth is a reluctant admission that I will never ever get out of bed on any side but the one I got in on. I will confess that I will never count stairs as I climb up or down them because that kind of thing could ruin my day. The line between superstition and mental disorder is almost too thin to observe with the naked eye. If I stumble over a sentence more than twice while reading late, late at night, I am compelled to read that sentence aloud. Not because I want to grasp its meaning once and for all, but because in an abstract way, I believe I was tripped up in the first place through some mystical force that requires a vocal oration to be gone. Is that superstition or a mild form of obsessive compulsive disorder? I have a stuffed rat and a purple gorilla that must remain in precise locations in my room. I have a folding knife that cost maybe eight bucks, but if I cannot find it, I become certain that ill fortune is about to fall on me like rain. I keep that knife close at hand, not to pare apples or stab attacking beasts, but to ward away bad luck that floats about like noxious clouds. The people who claim to keep no talismans often have yellowed scraps of paper folded into chaotic shapes and tucked away in their wallets. They hang on to things like ticket stubs or meaningless reciepts and tell themselves they are only souveniers. But snatch away those items and the owner of them feels hollow, incomplete and strangely vulnerable. People who regard themselves as above superstition wear St. Christopher’s around their necks to ward of peril, or carry troll dolls to invite fortune at Bingo. They toss spilled salt over their left shoulder and always pick up pennies found on the street. boggs.jpgWe’ve all heard the stories about baseball players who refuse to shave or change their socks when a hitting streak is on the line. We know there was at least one notable batter who would eat only chicken before a game. The man gobbled when he ran around the bases, but hey! He was running around the bases because he kept hitting the ball.
Those stories of celebrity superstition are quaint and they endear us to the people who devote themselves to these lucky charms and rituals. We brush it off as harmless psychology and remind ourselves that it really has no basis in science.
But me, I’m not sure enough of the workings of the universe to scoff at anything a person does to summons fortune or ward off doom. We used to believe that it was a vacuum out there in deep space and not so many years ago. Now we know that there is dark energy, dark matter and who knows what magical entities with the power to determine fates and alter the course of events in our dimension.
Me, I don’t tangle with those forces, especially the ones who have not yet identified themselves. It takes me less than a second to touch the cog and the snowglobe. It requires no physical exertion to keep close track of the stuffed rat, the purple gorilla and the folding knife. Why monkey with the ritual? It may not be those things at all keeping me alive. But the only way to find out for sure is to abandon them and that could cause me to drop dead. Who needs it?
So today, I invite you to bring along your lucky charms like show-and-tell day back in grade school. Show off your lucky panties, the ones you were wearing when you bagged that quarterback you’d been chasing all through high school. Tell us chilling stories about how you kept and froze the plasma from your first nose bleed and how you consider that responsible for the awesome wealth you have accumulated. By all means, share with us the condom you kept after your first, awkward sex encounter in the back of your old man’s car. Please keep that thing at arm’s length. And what is that, extra small? How unfortunate for you.



  1. Bobbie said,

    I’m actually getting to post before Martha this morning?! Either I’m up too late or she’s busy with work. I can honestly say that I have no “lucky” charms because they do not work for me at all. I’m the type of person who if she didn’t have bad luck, she wouldn’t have any luck at all.

    I am, however, anal when it comes to my pens. I will not let people borrow them unless they give them back as soon as they are done with them and if you take one without asking me first (like my husband is fond of doing), there will be hell to pay. My husband picks the pen that works the best and then loses it on me. I have taken to having two separate piles of pens and I hide my good pens so that no one will take them on me.

  2. Martha said,

    Bobbie, at the time you posted, I wasn’t even at work yet.. I was on my way. Mark posted early this morning.
    I honestly can’t think of any “stupidstitions” I adhere to. I freely admit to being a little eccentric about some things, like I won’t hang my underwear on the clothesline.. If I can’t put them in a dryer, I hang them in the bathroom to dry. I just feel like if anyone doesn’t know me well enough to be visiting in my home, they don’t need to see them. Even many of the people who visit in my home would cause me to panic if I knew they were there. One time I had to have a neighborhood handyman do some repair in my bathroom.. I was terribly embarrassed after, when I realized I had my personal laundry hanging in there at the time.

    LOL… TMI?

  3. jarheaddoc said,

    I had an ankh, the Egyptian symbol of life, on my dog tags. I just liked it. I get wicked neurotic when I can’t find something that I know I placed in a certain location, like my car keys.
    Y’all have a good day: I must go slave for the ungrateful masters.

  4. AO said,

    Gotta have my coffee first thing in the morning. Especially if I’ve gone without precious sleep, like I did last night. Why can’t it be Saturday?

  5. Martha said,

    AWWWWW. AO.. I had a day like that yesterday.. barking dogs…. GRRRRRR.

  6. Mainetarr said,

    well, anyone whos ever been to my house, knows that I am anally organized. It’s boarderline OCD. My superstition is I can’t leave something half done before going to bed, or I just know I won’t have a good nights sleep. If I am doing laundry and bring it upstairs to be put away, I have to put it all away. Also, I CANNOT leave dishes in the sink. Even if I am in the middle of cooking, I wash the dishes as I go along. Another oddity, when I go shopping, I usually buy things in twos. I never noticed it until hubby pointed it out. For good luck charms, I carry both of my deceased parents drivers licenses. Neither of them ever had a car accident and I am sure if I stop carrying them, I will crash. Wow, I never realized how anal I am….good blog. I will have to think more about this.

  7. AO said,

    Martha, Snoring husband.

  8. K2 said,

    Probably no surprise, but I have no luck charms of any sort, nor do I buy into superstition whatsoever. Although, 6 is my ‘lucky’ number, but look what it got Barbaro.

    MT, I’m with you: dishes must be done along the way. Last thing I want is a pile of dishes and pots after my gullet’s full.

    And AO, I’ve already had a cup of English breakfast tea, and am ready for a second. Yes, with honey and milk. *pinky extended*

  9. Martha said,

    AO.. I understand.. I used to have one of those.. I’d rather deal with the barking dogs.. They usually shut up if you yell at them.

  10. AO said,

    I can attest to everything MT said. (Though, I didn’t know about the license thing) Her house is immaculate. I’m always worried that she’ll stroke out whenever she comes into mine.

  11. AO said,

    I wish I had a dollar for every night of sleep I’ve lost because of his friggen snoring. I would be a wealthy woman. And, now, gay Meatloaf is on the radio. Somebody tell me that my day is going to get better!

    K2, A spot of tea sounds lovely! Do happen to have any biscuts?

  12. K2 said,

    Just a whisker biscuit, and she’s at work.

    Can’t we all just get a bong! Yippee!

    • Lilian said,

      JOhn, that was awemsoe. I have finally been on several flights over Iraq and here soon Kuwait. I will try to get some video for you.I hope you are well. I sure do miss my bike. In fact i already know what I want next. I cross bones. peace brother.

  13. AO said,

    How about a crumpet, then? And, I always try to get a bong with everyone.

  14. Martha said,

    Interesting… I had the first comment and the last comment on yesterday’s blog…

  15. Bobbie said,

    Martha, I realized as I was falling asleep why you hadn’t posted yet. Forgive a tired brain.

    AO, very sorry to hear that y our day had to start out so bad-snoring husband and then Meatloaf on top of it. Your day will get better, I promise-just don’t hold me as to when it will happen though!

    I can leave things half finished and go to bed without having to do them. It drives my husband crazy, which is a good thing some days!

  16. Linda said,

    I always have a current favorite blanket or shawl to wrap myself up in. I keep it on my favorite chair and bundle it around me whenever I need to. My sister in law knitted me a chenille shawl for the 2004 baseball post season, and it was wrapped around me for every game. Now I can’t imagine “going off it” even though the fringe is fraying and gets all over the house. Someday though, a new one will turn my head. I do like silk …

    My other lucky charm is a purple spring clip. If I’m in a meeting and bored or stressed, I fiddle with it and it soothes me for no obvious reason. It makes a tiny scree sound when I pinch it, and I try to keep that sound nice and slow. If anybody shows annoyance, I give them my “electric knife” look and they don’t dare complain.

  17. Bobbie said,

    Another thing I’m anal about is my hats. I have five that no one had better touch. I have two Patriots hats, a Boston Red Sox hat, a Border Patrol Hat and a hat from when my daughter’s ship crossed the equator on its trip to Australia one year. My husband took one of my hats one day, supposedly so that I would be close to him while he was gone, but I know that it was just done to aggravate me on a bad day. I took the truck out for a drive to cool down, got it stuck to the point where a friend of ours had to tow it out and my husband has never touched one of my since then. His hats get all screwed up and eventually ruined and I don’t want that to happen to mine. You know how hard it is to get stuff from New England out here?

  18. Linda said,

    Bobbie anything you want from New England, you just ask us and we’ll send it tout de suite. Even if it’s perishable.

    Believe me, i can identify with the “don’t touch my stuff” thing!!!

  19. Mainetarr said,

    Me too, I hate it when Chris gets into my stuff. And he has to try everything I have. Drives me nuts. I will buy him a special shampoo or body wash for guys, and I’ll be damned if her don’t walk out of the shower smelling like Biolage and Dove. Asshat. I get him that special “man” soap that smells wonderful, if YOU’RE A MAN!! Not like I am going to use it.

  20. Bobbie said,

    Thanks for the offer, Linda. I really appreciate that. **wiping away a tear** The biggest thing that I miss some days is Italian sandwiches and AO has me covered for that. Mainetarr even sent me some brown bread because I was missing that. (Thanks again, Mainetarr-it was good)

    The guys have learned to live with what I can tolerate as far as shampoo, soap and pit stick goes. They would much rather put up with things than to have me itching and telling them that they stink. That’s another reason why I don’t let my husband wear my hats-his shampoo makes me itch something fierce.

  21. Kellswater said,

    Please check your e-mail for your site when you get up. Thank you.

  22. K2 said,

    Now wait a second, MT. I use Dove. And my wife quit Ivory (the alum of soaps) to join the Ivory bandwagon. (Ever see ‘Crimes of Passion’ with Kathleen Turner? Great Ivory soap reference in that one.)

    Those ‘Man’ soaps are all about marketing anyway. Okay, so they smell manly. But so do my dumps. You KNOW it’s a man, be-otch. (And maybe a gerbil or two.)

  23. K2 said,

    I spell ‘him’ H . . . I . . . M . . .

    Ain’t that a man.

  24. Mainetarr said,

    I need spell check. Jay-sus, I just re-read what I had sent. Duh! Can you tell I am still not feeling well? I think I have flu in my brain now.

  25. AO said,

    One of my biggest pet peeves is when my husband uses the hand towel in the bathroom to wipe the fog off the mirror. If you’re going to do that then, replace the damn towel! Does he? No. He just leaves it there all soaking and slimy. How hard is it to reach in the cupbord and get a fresh one? And, what’s with leaving cabinet doors open…all the time? Ha. I could rant for hours but, I’m still tired.

  26. Bobbie said,

    K2 said,
    May 25, 2006 at 11:33 am

    Now wait a second, MT. I use Dove. And my wife quit Ivory (the alum of soaps) to join the Ivory bandwagon. (Ever see ‘Crimes of Passion’ with Kathleen Turner? Great Ivory soap reference in that one.)

    Is your wife still using Ivory soap or not? Kinda hard to tell from that post, K2. I’m glad to see that everyone else is having my type of day too!

  27. AO said,

    You’re not alone Bobby. I figured that I was just reading wrong. I don’t trust my eye’s today! Now, I have to go to work. Bummer.

  28. Mainetarr said,

    Well, I knew what he meant. I speak burn-out. LOL I was trying to get a bong.
    You know what pisses me off, a friend of ours has been living with us since October and I can not get it through his head that after brushing his teeth, rinse the sink. How hard is it? And does he brush with his mouth wide friggen open? What’s with the little spots all over everything? Moron.

  29. K2 said,

    Oh. Me sorry, I meant she’s on Dove now.

    Yes, I having quite the day. And I’ll leave it at that.

  30. LaFlamme said,

    Uh oh. Looks like we’re inching into the land of man bashing. It’s times like these I’m thankful I’m a woman.
    Hey, Kellswater. No mail from you.

  31. Mainetarr said,

    no, no. No male bashing. Just pet peeves. How did we get from lucky charms to pet peeves I wonder? When I go to the horse races, after I make my first win, I always take the winning ticket and add it to my voucher. I never cash out until the end, unless it’s over $600. It’s a supersticious thing, if I cash it in, I will stop winning. And another thing, if I win the first bet I make, I will usually win two more times.

  32. LaFlamme said,

    Yeah, you guys are not as weird as I expected about your little trinkets and superstitions. Does that make me weirder than you people? Should I seek therapy?

  33. Linda said,

    Don’t take it to heart Mark. And don’t even think of trying to retaliate.

    I’ll check in when i can; Thursdays are a problem for me with the blogging thing.

  34. Linda said,

    And re #32, it’s early yet. Maybe someone else will get a fit of secret sharing tonight. I’m sitting this one out!!!

  35. Dan-0 said,

    Superstitions, I’vve got a few, where to begin..

    1. I need to pick a fight each and every day on the LSJ blog, call me what you will, I just need that negative energy flowing through me.
    2. I always go directly to the Social Security office if my disability check does not arrive on its expected date. Thats either superstitous or paranoid someone wil find out I am capable of getting off my big ass and getting a job but prefer not to.
    3. I always buy a big old Dunkin Donuts coffee and walk down Main Street in Auburn each day, greeting my fellow Section 8 housemates on the way.

  36. Kellswater said,

    I sent it to The Pink Room e-mail account. I’ll resend it.

  37. AO said,

    Dan-O, You left number 4 blank. What’s the matter? Is that all you have to complain about today?

  38. Linda said,

    When my husband leaves something out of place, I buy another one and make sure he knows it. I have about 15 matching hand towels for the bathroom. He hates that, so it’s been quite a while now since I’ve found the towel bar empty.

  39. K2 said,

    A critical review of Al Gore’s ‘An Inconvenient Truth’ from

  40. AO said,

    No, I don’t find it empty. I find it filled with a wet, slimy towel. You know what else I hate? He always leaves toast crumbs in the butter bowl. I’ve tried buy two of the same thing, hoping he’ll just keep one for him and his crumbs but, hasn’t worked yet! Phew! I feel better getting that off my chest.

  41. Mainetarr said,

    See, all of my girlfriends give me a ration of shit because I cook supper for Chris every single night, plate it and then hand him the plate. (no I don’t cut up the meat or anything like that) But there is a reason for it, it’s so he doesn’t mess up the counter, top of my stove, get crumbs in the butter dish, leave food everywhere, etc….It seems like I am spoiling him, but it’s just to save me from more cleaning up after we eat. Me no stupid.

    • Anisha said,

      I was just at the Holiday House in NYC sponsored by Traditional Home and in one of the rooms there is another new, fab Phillip Jeffries wall paper.Very impressed with your jakorc-lante-n prowess. I think you go to the head of the carving class!!!xo Elizabeth

    • Twentynine Palms, California auto ins quote said,

      Hahaha, no waaaay! I just ordered a totally retro fabulous parasol from beyond retro Vix. Isn't it gorgeous weather, and you look particularly happy and beautiful today. the shoes are gorgeous and perfect with this floral combinationHave a great weekend honeyxxx

  42. AO said,

    I hear ya, MT! But, in my case, it just doesn’t help! I not only have to go behind him in the house but, also in the store. I’m always picking up after that guy!

  43. jarheaddoc said,

    MT, all children turn into adults at some point, then they turn into their parents, and you have reached this point in life before the age of forty. I don’t whether to cheer you or feel sorry for you. AND quit trying to get SSI by claiming you’re OCD. YOU ARE A GODDAM CONTROL FREAK.
    Men are pigs, get used to it. A neat freak who is single is GAY, and I don’t mean stupid, I mean he’s KA-WEEER!.
    And a pet peeve is the same thing as male bashing!
    And no, I didn’t have a bad goddam day at work!
    And no, my kids are not double teaming me and giving me a bunch of shit! Where are my fucking happy pills? Christ, I found them right where they should not have been: right where the fucking things belong!

  44. jarheaddoc said,

    I had this stupid superstition when I worked for an ambulance transport company in Portland. I would never take the first elevator of the day if it was waiting for us when we got to the bank of elevators. I knew I was going to get the shit kicked out of me anyways, carrying people from point to point, so why hurry up? there was always someone else waiting to go somewhere else. For all I knew, that waiting elevator was going to take me straight to Hell.

  45. LaFlamme said,

    Ah, now THAT’S a baseless, disordered superstition. So I’m not the only one.

  46. jarheaddoc said,

    I also have this little military can opener that I’ve been carrying around for years. It’s called a P38. there is also some obscure miltary reference to a nutcase being a P38. Quite fitting, even if I can’t figure out how the two pieces fit together….

  47. AO said,

    I have to have my set of keys when I drive my car. Not my husbands, mine. I’m afraid that, if I leave the house without The Blues Brothers, The Eiffel Tower and, Tinker Bell, (all on my key chain) I’ll have a horrible accident. And, I don’t care how short a drive it is, I have to have my cell phone with me because, The Blues Brothers MAY just fail me.

  48. jarheaddoc said,

    I know we have determined MeatLoaf to be GAY, but that was always the first tape I put in the player when I took off on a long road trip. Any time I went through NYC it had to be Warren Zevon. I also wore my flak jacket because that was the concrete jungle and I was (really still am) just a hick from Maine. I found it a comforting mix of practicality and paranoia

  49. AO said,

    JHD, Warren Zevon was COOL! Meatloaf, gay.

  50. K2 said,

    ‘So, what kind of music do they play around here?’

    ‘Oh, they play both kinds — country AND western.’

  51. LaFlamme said,

    Meatloaf is too fugly to be gay.

  52. jarheaddoc said,

    Crossing the bridge between Maine and New Hampshire, the big one on 95, always makes me think, “Now I can die at home if I get in a wreck.” I still think that to this day

  53. Bobbie said,

    I have a P38 on my keyring as well. It’s come in handy a time or two. I used to be able to open a can faster with that than a regular can opener.

    AO, just because you think that Meatloaf is gay doesn’t mean that I won’t put his cd’s in for a long trip. I’ll be thinking of you when I leave on the 5th and those are the first two cd’s that I put in.

  54. Bobbie said,

    Would you be saying that about Meatloaf if you had his money?

  55. jarheaddoc said,

    AO, my all time favorite Zevon song will always be “Roland the headless thompson gunner.”

  56. jarheaddoc said,

    “Mark LaFlamme is gay.”

  57. Bobbie said,

    That explains a lot about you, JD.

  58. jarheaddoc said,

    Sorry, I misread Bobbie’s question. Suggest removal of dumbass remark in #56.

  59. AO said,

    He’s too ugly to be straight. What woman would want him?

    K2, Bob’s Country Bunker. The Good Ol’ Boy’s. Lead singer of the band, driver of the Winnebago.

  60. jarheaddoc said,

    Well, shit, the song about werewolves with perfect hair is right up there with Freddy fucking Kruger as far as I’m concerned.

  61. Linda said,

    Blues Bros are very big at my house too AO

  62. jarheaddoc said,

    My wife subjects us to Red Sovine and Dick Curless. It’s no wonder I need them damn pills.

  63. AO said,

    HA!! JHD, I’d be downing them too!

    Linda, We’re Blues Brothers freaks. One year, for a anniversary/halloween party, my husband and I dressed up as Jake and Elwood. I insisted on going as Elwood.

  64. jarheaddoc said,

    We all dressed up as hippies last year, and I haven’t dressed up since I was my kid’s age. It was fun, actually.

  65. AO said,

    JH, My favorite Zevon song is Warewolves in London. And, I heard TWO Meatloaf songs on the radio this morning..go figure, he only had two hits and I had to hear both of them this morning. Thank God for remote control!

  66. K2 said,

    ‘We’re on a mission from God.’

    I am still protesting BB 2000, though. Haven’t seen it, won’t see, hate it, wish it was never made. Just like Caddyshack 2, which I refused to watch even a moment of.

    I am a rather ruthless film snob, and that is a tad gay.

    ‘I’ve always loved you.’ *Flight of the Valkyrie playing*

  67. jarheaddoc said,

    I have a very hard time walking past those old guys from the VFW who sell those posies.

  68. jarheaddoc said,

    I ten to listen to Imus on the way in to work, but I can only take him in small amounts, though he does have some very good people on the show most of the time. I mean, if Imus can make Terry Bradshaw look smart, what would he be able to do for me?

  69. K2 said,

    Oh, and Meatloaf simply sucks, gay or not. And the name? It’s just crazy.

    ‘Werewolves in London’ resides in the Pantheon of classic rock-n-roll piano licks. Easy as hell to play, but great just the same. The whole song is that one riff. And it never seems to get old.

  70. jarheaddoc said,

    I’m sure you loved Ocean’s Twelve, too, K2

  71. AO said,

    K2, You HAVE to see BB 2000 for the music alone!! OMG…it’s the best! Well, not as good as the first but, it rocks! YOU HAVE TO SEE IT!! That’s an order, young man!!

  72. jarheaddoc said,

    K2, what is the name of the pink floyd song that has a heavt guitar beat to it and the only thing resembling lyrics is the sound a tortured soul would make when he sees the monthly statement from his drug dealer? I love that one, too. From animals, maybe?

    • Cornelia said,

      I can’t hear anhnyitg over the sound of how awesome this article is.

  73. AO said,

    Okay. I’m taking an unofficial poll. My 16 year old son just asked me if he could skip school tomorrow so he can stay home and watch a Godzilla marathon on Sci-Fi. Let me add that, the kid never asks for anything of this…nature, nor does he ever miss school unless he’s sick. And, JHD, if you’re taking your “happy pills”, your vote won’t count! 🙂

  74. Linda said,

    My vote counts. I vote definitely.

  75. LaFlamme said,

    I’m thinking that Floyd song is “Sheep.”

  76. AO said,

    Thanks Linda, he’s starting the count down!

  77. Linda said,

    A friend at work asked me a similar question today: her 16yr old daughter wanted to take tomorrow off to go shopping. I voted no. Shopping no. Godzilla yes.

  78. AO said,

    I’m leaning towards “yes”. It’s not like he’s going to be doing something awful. And, I’ll know where he’ll be the whole time.

  79. Toadfrog said,

    What about just taping it for him?

    And yes, here again JD.

  80. AO said,

    Can’t. My VCR/DVD playe is impossible to figure out. All I can do is play things on it.

  81. Toadfrog said,

    Well I guess that you could let him stay home. My vote go for it.

  82. Bobbie said,

    here’s my vote: yes!

    I would offer to record it for him, but that takes all the fun out of staying home!

  83. Toadfrog said,

    Well I would have to say that is very nice of you Bobbie.

    And JD are you hiding now? Or just trying to figure out whom I am still? And cheating is not fair… refering to the IP Address thing mentioned yesterday.

  84. AO said,

    Thanks for all the votes! Just wanted some other input. I’m going to let him stay home but, I’m not going to tell him until he gets all his homework done.

    My emails out. I think I’ve caught whatever MT had last night!

  85. LaFlamme said,

    Are you nuts? Any kid who wants to stay home for something as cool as a Godzilla marathon should get pizza and popcorn, too. Don’t you remember the growling joy of the Creature Double Feature back in the day? The kid shows obvious taste for the classic. I think you should encourage and support that. And remember: your decision in this matter may influence the Mother of the Year voting.

  86. Toadfrog said,


    So True. My other half does not understand the facination with the old balck and whites, and other movies not so well remembered.

  87. AO said,

    He’s a “classic”. AND, he has great taste in music. I AM going to let him stay home. I just want him to get tonights homework done before I tell him. And, we’ll have to plot a scheme so his father will think he’s staying home with the flu or…something.

  88. AO said,

    And, I’m already “Mother” of the Year.

  89. Toadfrog said,

    You could just say he has the runs… Just means he has to run to the bathroom through out the night, that or wait till tomorrow and say he woke up with them.

    Because who in there right mind would actually check on something like that.

  90. K2 said,

    Mothra and Biolante. They showed Godzilla a thing or two.

    I once watched all five Planet of the Apes movies in a row while smoking endless amounts of herbal jazz through a converted-plastic-ketchup-bottle bong. But still, AO, tomorrow your kid was gonna learn SOHCAHTOA. His geometry will suffer.

    And AO, there’s a freaking kid and that fat funniless fuck singing in BB 2000. Get real.

    jd, I’m quite sure you’re talking about ‘One of These Days (I’m Going to Cut You Into Little Pieces).’ It’s the first track off ‘Meddle,’ circa 1971.

    As for ‘Sheep’:

    The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want
    He makes me down to lie
    Through pastures green he leadeth me the silent waters by
    With bright knives he releases my soul
    He maketh me to hang on hooks in high places
    He converteth me to lamb cutlets
    For lo, He hath great power, and great hunger
    When cometh the day we lowly ones
    Through quiet reflection and great dedication
    Master the art of Karate
    Lo, we shall rise up
    And then we’ll make the bugger’s eyes water

    Bleating and babbling I fell on his neck with a scream . . . .

  91. K2 said,

    AO, a good one to tell the school nurse: ‘My son has an eye problem. He simply can’t see coming in today.’

  92. AO said,

    Hey! K2, just watch it! Have I ever steered you wrong? If so, when? Also, I liked the “kid” and, “the fat funniless fuck”, was pretty good stand in for Belushi. I thought he was perfect.

    Also, my son’s geometry has been suffering all year. I don’t think one day off will hurt it any.

  93. Toadfrog said,


    Where did that come from?

    I shall have to look ver my shoulder as I walk down all those dark allies at night.

  94. LaFlamme said,

    Now I have a hankering for Creature Feature and Sheep. Also, ketchup.

  95. AO said,

    If you’re up early enough, you can come and hang out with my son. I’ll provide the pizza and ketchup. Sorry but, I’m fresh out of sheep.

  96. K2 said,

    AO, I love, ya, D-Sis, but I just can’t do it. Yes, I am a stubborn bastard sometimes. But I really dislike John Goodman and I’m not a fan of an ugly, talentless white kid singing the blues. If the kid was black, I would reconsider. And NOBODY subs for Belushi. ‘Was it over when the Germans bombed Peral Harbor’


    ‘Forget it, he’s rolling.’

    TF, what? the weird prose? It’s from Floyd’s ‘Sheep,’ off ‘Animals.’ An album heavily influenced by Orwell’s ‘Animal Farm.’ Chef recommends.

  97. AO said,

    Okay you stubborn bastard, have it your way. But, you’re missing some great music!

  98. AO said,

    I just told my son that he could stay home tomorrow. He then told me that that was all he wanted to hear and that, he’s going to school tomorrow! Turd. He just played me for a fool. 🙂 Gotta love them thar kids!

  99. K2 said,

    Now wait a second, AO, you keep that young man home tomorrow, plant his white teenage ass in front of the TeeVee, and make his watch the enitre Godzilla marathon. It’s all about precedent. And bad overdubs. And fake-as-shit costumes and sets. And minimal plot. And . . .

    Anyone ever see ‘One Crazy Summer’? Great Godzilla scene with Bobcat Goldsomething.

  100. Bobbie said,

    That sounds like something my son would do to me.

    Speaking of which, he si done with all of his finals and is gone for most of the evening now. He’s kind of concerned-hoping that he doesn’t get a phone between 8 AM and 11 AM tomorrow.

  101. Mainetarr said,

    I know I am late to vote, but let him stay home. Hell, let him come watch it on the big screen at my house even.

  102. Bobbie said,

    You’re talking about Bobcat Goldwaithe, K2. Crazy guy, him is. Ever seen him in Scrooged?

    • Fleta said,

      I was really confused, and this answered all my qusnoitse.

    • said,

      Hi Julie – Glad to hear that these worked well for you, and I’m sure you will enjoy the leftovers! Here’s the recipe for the dough for sweet empanadas: In terms of fillings I have a few recipes for sweet filling under the empanada section: , but really anything that would work well as a pie filling will work for sweet empanadas. My current fav for sweet ones are these gingerbread pear ones, they are perfect for the holidays:

    • said,

      Dark­house was sug­gested to me as a “book you might like” from Ama­zon. I read a few reviews and knew it was exactly what I was look­ing for. It soon became my new series obses­sion, and I am eter­nally grate­ful that I don’t have to wait YEARS between each book. I just don’t have the patience when it comes to Dex & Perry updates Thanks!!

  103. Mainetarr said,

    Oh shit, I posted that before I read the whole thing. What a turd. Keep him home anyway.

  104. Linda said,

    Make him stay home. He’s probably still playing you.

  105. Mainetarr said,

    Is he that Asshat that screams? No wait, I am thinking of Sam Kinnison?!?

  106. Toadfrog said,


    Sorry about that…and thanks for the info regarding the sheep.

  107. Mainetarr said,

    Toadfrog, what’s going on with you this evening?

  108. Toadfrog said,

    I am diong the laundry after a business trip and general clean up. Other then that I am awaiting a phone call… What about you?

  109. Mainetarr said,

    Watching O’Reilly, patting my dog and chit chatting. Relaxing mostly, it feels nice…it took me ofrever to catch up on the blog postings. Geesh, I go away for a couple of hours and I am waaaay behind!!!

  110. Mainetarr said,

    O’Reilly just called Skillings and Lay from the Enron mess greedy Bastards. Go Bill.

  111. Toadfrog said,

    LOL… I know what you mean. I was gone only about a half hour and behind. I guess that is just how it goes.

    O,Reilly huh, I usually start poping in movies or grab my book and blanket about that time.

  112. Toadfrog said,

    I like to stay out of political conversations and avoid the news in general when I can. I get rather depressed and just want to cry half the time. So I avoid the whole situation in general.

  113. Mainetarr said,

    I just found it funny he said greedy bastards. I forgot that one in the other blog. Ha!

  114. Toadfrog said,

    That is ok. Now i am getting realy to send out an email to all i know, Look out world.

  115. Toadfrog said,

    Never mind…Will have to do later…lost it all ….closed the window by mistake…what a loser I am at times.

  116. LaFlamme said,

    So, it’s agreed. We’ll take the three legged dog along and let the chips fall where they may.

  117. Linda said,

    Ah, finally — it’s all starting to make sense!

  118. LaFlamme said,

    It occurs to me, many hours later, that with a toadfrog in here and my cog picture above, there is a vague reference to “Toad the Wet Sprocket.” So you see, this may be the seventh sign.

  119. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    On my desk at work I have a ruler I use when proofreading obituaries. I lay the original from the family or the funeral home and the one I put in our database side by side and read them carefully line by line to make sure I didn’t miss any details or typos. I’ve had this ruler for nearly six years and it is the closest thing I have to a lucky charm. If it is lost or misplaced, I literally start having panic attacks. I expect my boss to have it bronzed the day I leave the paper.

  120. LaFlamme said,

    The day you leave the paper, the mortality rate on the peninsula decline dramatically.

  121. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    You might be right. While I was on vacation the death rate was very low; however, the day I returned, it shot right back up. I’m not joking. One funeral home told me they had seven calls since I’ve returned and they’re a very small funeral home.
    Too bad I don’t attract men the way I seem to attract obits. Things would be a lot more uplifting.

  122. LaFlamme said,

    Hey, you and me both, Mandy the Maven of the Macabre. Every time I leave town, bodies show up in shallow graves.
    Did you ever consider dating undertakers?

  123. Toadfrog said,

    I wonder what that would be like to date an undertaker… especially when it came to whose house you go to at the end of the date.

  124. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    No. I deal with death so much at work that I need a little break during my off hours.
    At work I’ve also received the nicknames the Grim Reaper, the Dutchess of Death, and, my favorite, the Mistress of Death.

  125. LaFlamme said,

    I knew a girl who dated a guy she DIDN’T know was an undertaker. They went back to his place at the end of the night. To get to his pad, they had to walk through rows of coffins. She was horrified. Me, that would have been the clincher. Coffins are just sexy as hell.

  126. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    I have a little confession to make: I’ve always wanted to have sex in a coffin. Not necessarily with a funeral director, but the coffin would be perfect.
    I know I have now cemented my reputation as being profoundly strange, but I don’t care.

  127. LaFlamme said,

    No, no. That’s perfectly normal. *backing away slowly*

  128. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    Sometimes I think I should go out and get a more normal job, but then again I might lose a bit of my luster if I wasn’t the mistress of death.

  129. LaFlamme said,

    Ah, perish the thought. I’ve been threatening to get a real job for years. Never happen.

  130. Bobbie said,

    Where else could you keep the hours that you do?

  131. Toadfrog said,

    Well, at least if you were to do it in the coffin, I would just hope the other party was atleast breathing too.

  132. Toadfrog said,

    Well night all, I have places to be abd people to see. Till the next we meet.

  133. Bobbie said,

    Hopefully nest time, JD will come out to play as well, Toadfrog. You and he seem to get along so well-NOT! LOL

  134. K2 said,

    And Ken Lay was a member of Dick Cheney’s secret energy task force early in the Bush presidency. Hmmmmm. . . .

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