Lounging in the banana hammock

May 28, 2006 at 1:11 pm (Uncategorized)

sleaze.jpgYou people are lucky I'm no longer single. If I were still single, I would easily take the crown for 2006 MEMORIAL DAY HORROR STORY. One drunken night in Old Orchard Beach would surely result in the right amount of madness to win me the prize. Back in the day, a night in Old Orchard would typically result in a summons for urinating in public, a dramatic fall from the stage at Surf Six, losing my shorts in an elaborate dive into the frigid ocean ("I was in the pool!"), making extravagant advances at a lovely girl in the Brunswick who later turned out to be Louis, a painter from Scarborough, or staggering back to the wrong motel room. And all this before noon.

I love Old Orchard. Its loud, its obnoxious, its dirty, its obscene. Forget the Flying Bobs and the Pirate Ship, Old Orchard is a playground for those sinful desires a person leaves behind with the office and the neatly trimmed lawn. Old Orchard is where you go when you want to try out that new banana hammock once and for all.

But the potential for holiday weekend calamity is always great no matter where you end up. If you're a mother or a father, you could devise a vacation that goes horribly wrong and your children could be scarred. If you're a backyard barbecue type, there's always the chance you could have too many Strohs and end up telling off your brother-in-law once in for all before setting your wife's favorite willow on fire. If you're single, well… For a single person, long weekends are hunting season. With that kind of libido and desperation, some form of embarrassment is likely to ensue.

Chances are good that the only thing you'll have to complain about come Tuesday is getting stuck in traffic or running out of propane for the grill. Whatever. We'll take it. Somebody's got to win this damn award. And so far, I have nothing to report. My shorts are still on.

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70 Comments

  1. Linda said,

    I’ve got nothing, not unusual for me. But my real risk of calamity will come tomorrow with my in-laws. Love ’em and all, but there are, well situations. Ex-wife situations for example. They are an “in vino veritas” kind of family, and there will be plenty of vino.

    This, by the way, would be the family that call me “Electric Knife Woman.” Know what I mean?

    jd, got that motor going yet? Just wondering. Superb weather for a family boat outing.

  2. jarheaddoc said,

    Linda, it’s odd that you should mention that motor and ex-wives and former in-laws in the same post, as the two are sharing a lot of similaritites right now; runs good for a little while, then gives you fits for no apparent reason, and a good whack with the hammer doesn’t fix the problem. The big difference here is that this motor will be a lot cheaper to get rid of and just as expensive to replace. No one will question its carcass being in the local scrap metal repository.
    But I digress….
    I would much rather be out on the lake than headed back to work, Linda. I just barely got up from a rather solid sleep. My wife took the kids and disappeared. We were up all night with a structure fire.
    OOB in the summer time is one of those sinful delights that is perfectly acceptable to a lot of people. Drunks and drug overdoses, few of whom speak English. Makes me glad I took the job somewhere else, though I still have my share of both….but I don’t see many male Canadian tourists wandering around in the Speedo equivalent of a land whale in Spandex.
    Y’all have a good day.

  3. Linda said,

    You too jd. Tough weekend to be working, especially your kind of work. Take care.

  4. Bobbie said,

    Take care over the weekend, jd. You don’t need to have someone kick your ass for being stupid on the job.

    One of the few times that I’ve gone to OOB, I remember one Canadian male who looked like he wasn’t wearing anything at all on the beach. This guy suffered from the worst case of Dunlap’s Diease that I have ever seen in my life-the front and back were both affected. It was only when he was digging out his wedgie that I realized he had a bathing suit on. The kids had a good laugh over that one and talked about it for a week.

  5. jarheaddoc said,

    I just realized tha tthere are less than three weeks left to this school year. Shit.

  6. Linda said,

    But you’ll have the boat to entertain the kids … won’t you?

  7. Linda said,

    Bobbie you know the joke — punch line is “In the front, Pierre! In the front!”

  8. Bobbie said,

    Yeah, I know that old standard. I have a cousin whose name is Wedgewood. I kid you not! Three guesses what his nickname is and the first two guesses don’t count.

    JD, the school year for me is already over with. Next comes college in August and it starts all over again!

  9. AO said,

    Eww…that photo almost made me lose my dinner!

  10. Bobbie said,

    Someone needs to figure out a way to sell cooked, already shelled eggs that don’t have half the egg gone. I’m sure that there’s someone else besides me who would pay for something like that.

    I found out today that our male cat likes unshucked corn on the cob. I had put the bag on the floor when I came in and saw him sniffing at it, very cautious about what it was. I went back to peeling the stupid eggs and then looked back over to find him trying to take a bite out of an ear of corn. I called him a goober, picked up the bag and put it on the counter. Mr. Fatty figured that his treat was gone, so he stretched out where the corn had been. I had put the corn right over where he was laying and the corn decided to get even with him for trying to take a bite out of an ear-two ears of corn rolled out of the bag and smacked him. He took off real quick, then stopped and turned around to look at me like “How dare they do that to me!” and I couldn’t help but laugh at him. He then decided that he was going to lay back down in a different spot so that he wouldn’t get smacked again.

  11. Linda said,

    Not exactly a Horror Story, Bobbie, but it made me laugh. I don’t understand anything about cats.

    Some “people from the blog” (that’s what I call you collectively when I mention any of this stuff to my husband) gave me some advice the other night. Good advice no doubt about it, and I thank you for it.

    But — some things that should be simple can turn so freakin’ complicated. Maybe later I’ll tell you about it — you know who you are that told me to phone my friend. The weekend’s not over yet and I could have a contender for the 2006 Horror prize. Though it’s true that K2 will most likely top anything the rest of us could put out there.

  12. Bobbie said,

    I know what you’re talking about, Linda. My best friend and I lost touch with each other when both of us moved (me down the street and her to another town) last year. I wasn’t sure what was going on because my letters came back as undeliverable and her phone had been disconnected. Long story short, I had just confirmed the other day what town she was living in (the SJ is actually good for something every now and then) and just when I was going to send her a letter with nothing but my address in it, she contacted me thru a different web site. It turns out that there had been no problems between us, just something that had happened. She’s waiting to hear from me, I’m waiting to hear from her and all is right with the world today. I hope that your situation had a happy ending as well.

    I could probably give K2 a run for his money on horror stories some days. My life is anything but simple some days, as you’ve probably already guessed.

  13. Linda said,

    I’m glad things worked out with your friend.

    My life is usually very simple. It wasn’t always like that so I have something to compare it to. Except it goes haywire when my Boston friend is around. I hadn’t spoken with him for nearly 10 months. I just don’t know if it’s better to have him in constant, unsettling encounters or infrequent devastating explosions.

  14. Mainetarr said,

    If you look up relaxed life in the encyclopedia, you will find me. I have a wicked hectic job, very stressful – always a lot going on. I never know from day to day what will happen in the office, but when I get home it’s a whole different story. Here at home, it’s usually very quiet, relaxing and as far from chaotic as can be. Today, we went and got Milo and we are keeping him for the night tonight. His first night away from mommy. He is eating like a pig and he drank water for the first time today. He lapped it right up, no problems. The only excitement around here so far was some douchebag was driving too fast and lost about 20 pieces of fencing in the intersection that I live on. Chris and I laughed our heads off. Loser.

  15. Bobbie said,

    If some people from the blog knew this information that you provided tonight, I think that the advice that they gave you may have been slightly different.

    There comes a time in everyone’s life when they have to make a decision about someone that they know and whether it’s a good thing or a bad thing to have that person in their lives. If that person is constantly upsetting you, causing you grief instead of happiness and makes you wish that they would just go away when they show up on your door or phone, then it may be time to let that person go as your friend. Ask yourself if you were happier over the last 10 months not talking to this person and not having to deal with the uncertainty of this person’s life or were you truly miserable without this person in your life-and not just feeling guilty that you stopped talking to the person over something that went wrong?

    I was in the same situation as you, Linda with someone that I had known for a lot of years and for my own sanity, I had to cut her out of my life once and for all-and we all know how that turned out! LOL Seriously tho, if this person is making your life miserable (and it sounds like he is), I would suggest ending the relationship as soon as possible. Like a good friend once told me, you have to look out for yourself because no one else is going to do it.

    It may not be easy to do that, especially if the other person isn’t willing to let go, but you have the power to see that this person no longer disrupts your life. Block his number, return his letters, do whatever it takes with a clear conscience (?).

    Hopefully this helps some.

  16. Linda said,

    You make some really good points, Bobbie. I did that a few years ago with a friend from NZ whose every contact made me miserable. I shut her out, and it was the right thing to do. Not sure that’s the case with this friend. Playing it by ear for now. But I really appreciate your thoughtful message.

    Aside from my sisters, this is practically the only person I’m in contact with who knew me well when I was young. Once we were talking on the phone and I quoted a couple of lines from a poem, and i said, I can’t remember what poem that’s from or who wrote it. He said, hold on a minute, then he came back and read me the whole poem — I’d written it in his copy of our high school yearbook. You know??

    And MT — I smiled when I read your post, because I just finished a big email to AO explaining why it’s such a relief to me to have a peaceful life these days. Probably way more than she wanted to hear, right AO? LOL but anyhow, I know exactly what you mean.

    Good thing Mark’s not here, this is probably just what he was afraid of this weekend.

  17. LaFlamme said,

    Oh, I’m here. Lurking. Lurking…
    Hey, AO, how’s the kid? All is well?

  18. Bobbie said,

    Please keep in mind that some people change over the years and not necessarily for the better, Linda. That’s what happened with my former friend. You do what you feel is right and no can fault you for that.

    Hey MT, how is Milo doing? Hopefully you don’t have to go to the office in the morning. I have a feeling that you’ll be up for a bit (most of the night, really) with Milo because he misses Mom something firece. Trouble has always been my husband’s dog, but guess who got to sit up with her all night that first night home? Don’t forget the hot water bottle and the wind up clock under whatever Milo is sleeping on tonight.

  19. Linda said,

    Hi Mark, should we assume you have no stories to contend for the 2006 award? or are you just lurking while we tell all our lame chick stuff then you’ll blow out the competition with gritty street stuff that makes our lives look like Pollyanna on Xanax?

  20. AO said,

    Mark, the “kid” is doing fine. Thanks for asking. Though, I still haven’t told her that she has to go back for more blood work next week. I’m going to save that until…next week.

    Hope your all having a good weekend. I’m sipping on a glass of vino and, just enjoying the evening! And, thanks for the email Linda! This drinks to you!

  21. Linda said,

    Great, to all, AO. I’m sending one more email, the final installment in my weekend of truth telling I guess. You don’t need to answer this one, it sort of speaks for itself.

  22. AO said,

    Mail away, Linda. If I feel it needs a response, I’ll respond.

  23. Bobbie said,

    Thank you for sharing tonight, Linda. Great looking girls.

  24. Martha said,

    I have/had one of those friends, except I think I’m the one who changed not her. it got to the point where I ALWAYS had to go to her if I wanted to see her. I know she’s busy, and I moved away, but I never heard from her. I came to realize there are some people who, when they have many friends, especially friends who seek them out, can afford to esteem their friendships lightly, or at least, seem to. That realization came after I invited her to come visit for the second time in as many years. Not only did she not come, she never bothered to say she couldn’t.. she just didn’t come. When I wrote and told her I was a little hurt, she waited 4 months to reply, then kind of blew me off.
    MT, with my daughter, grandsons and their dog living in my house, a little peace and quiet at home would sure be a nice thing to look forward to. I don’t see that happening for the foreseeable future.
    AO, did you see the post to you on one of the other blogs about your daughter’s problem she’s been having? Thought I’d point it out in case you hadn’t. Might be worth looking into.

  25. Mainetarr said,

    Oh, I hear you guys about the friend thing. Most of the friends I have today, I have had since childhood. My best friend, Kip, has been living with us since October, saving money to buy a house. He closes on it June 20 or so. We have been friends since we were 3 years old. Sure, we can drive each other a little crazy, usually because we are too honest, no one wants to hear the truth all the time. LOL, but I have another friend from kindergarten, that I had to cut loose about three years ago. She was a friggen train wreck. I literally had to get caller ID and change my e-mial address to avoid her. It was terrible. I ended up coming home from work one day to find her 14 year old son on my front porch, crying. SHe had kicked him out and he came to the only stable place he could think of. He walked all the way her with one backpack of clothes from Turner. Needless to say, I took him in and he stayed here for a year. I have never “ripped someone a new asshole” quite like that. I even had the police involved after she threatened to burn my house down. Today, she is still somewhat unstable. I have cut her out of my life totally and her son is 17 and stops by to visit us all the time. I actually have a dinner “date” with him this Wednesday. Sometimes you have to cut people loose, they are toxic for you. And Bobby is right, if I had known this info Linda, I would have told you, run. Run while you can. Sometimes, no matter how old your friends are , it’s just not worth it.

  26. Linda said,

    I know, I know. The thing is, I didn’t mention all that the other night because I forget. I mean, in my head I remember but the real effect of him fades.

    In a way he probably feels the same way about me. He spends quite a bit of time telling me how hard it is to be my friend (nobody else tells me that so I don’t believe its true) and then in the next breath it’s all about how the last year would have been so much easier for him if he could have talked this that and the other over with me. And I know that’s true.

    But he actually seems to take my advice, and his behaviour is so risky, it’s hard to say take a hike. And there’s the whole Catholic big sister thing. AND the part about how he’s (believe it or not) a mental health professional and knows exactly what to say. It’s a cross between psychotherapy and a bullfight.

    So — anyhow, watch this space. I’ll try not to take the crazy out on you all. Well not this particular crazy at least.

  27. jarheaddoc said,

    Linda, I am behind on this blog because of work and digging in the dirt with the wife. but it sounds like you are referring to this friend I advised you to contact.

    I am getting the feeling that this guy is in mental health to make himself belivable and authentic to the world, when he really sounds like a buddy fucker. I am at my most brutally honest here, Linda, and this is not meant to cut you to the bone, it’s a different perspective.

    Relationships can, will, and do change over time, for any number of reasons. Wanting to recall your past through your friends isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but people who want to stay in the past should be kept at arm’s length.

    Tough love is laughed at, and I don’t place a lot of stock in a lot of the psychobabble that comes spewing forth from the sewer holes of many of these so called ‘experts’, but sometimes you do have to use tough love. Did you always cave to your kids when they wanted something and you absolutely knew better? Did telling them no and letting them fall on their faces actually make them better people?

    Does this person want a surrogate mother because he didn’t get along with his Mom or someone to blame for all of his ills because you’re sympatheitc to him?

    Why should you be miserable around this guy? I know you have that connection with him because you were physically intimate with him, but that was a long time ago. You have to pick your battles, when you’re able to, and it sounds like this is one of those situations. There is no shame or loss of honor in cutting your losses and walking away from a losing battle that is only going to leave you scarred and feeling worse about yourself when it’s not your fault.

    If it’s so damn hard to be your friend, then why does he want to keep bouncing stuff off you? and for that good Catholic thing, I find that to be horse hooie. It’s guilt, Linda, nothing more. Empathy and compassion are one thing, letting this guy make you feel guilty for his actions another. The ball is in your court, Linda. Maybe he needs to start listening to his own advice for a change and not just spouting mantras about how others are supposed to live their lives or feel or act.

    Jesus, my brain hurts after saying all of that. I apologize if that diatribe hurts, but I am looking at this from an outside and coldly logical perspective.

  28. Linda said,

    Hmm… now what was it I was saying before … something about a cross between psychotherapy and a bullfight?

    Actually jd, it does hurt, but I guess I asked for it. Certainly lots to think about from all of you. Thanks for your thoughtful comments and the benefit of your experiences.

    Now I’m off to my brother in law’s barbecue, this time I’m bringing my own damn cooler of beer. Not that there’s any chance he won’t have a few crates waiting for us. Wish me luck. This could be the toughest part of the course.

  29. Linda said,

    BTW jd will you check your email when you have a chance. Tell me later what you think, gotta run

  30. hedonistic said,

    OH MY GOD, I think that’s the photo my sister is trying to use for her new blog’s masthead, http://www.speedozforjesus.com . . . she can’t figure out how to do it, though; it’s probably not feasible with a stock WordPress theme, oh well. I’m definitely sending her a link to this post!!!!!

  31. LaFlamme said,

    Wow. I didn’t expect such excitement about the scrotum revealing beach zealot. But hey, go nuts. So to speak.
    Hedonistic, you’ve got to add wordpress so that it reads http://speedozforjesus.wordpress.com.

  32. Linda said,

    My afternoon event went OK after all — the dreaded ex sister in law did not show up. Just many large brothers in law who play the guitar, hug me frequently & think I’m the most astounding woman in the world for staying married to their brother for so many years — so many years that AO couldn’t even imagine it without choking on her chard when I told her. (Right, AO?)

    I did get stung by a bee on the way home, but luckily I had Benadryl, ibuprofen and cort cream with me. My husband said, what are we, Drugs R Us? I paid him back by using my random answer generator the rest of the way home, he hates that. I like to be prepared, so sue me, eh?

    MT, so glad about Milo. And to all of you, I hope nobody won that award this year.

  33. Bobbie said,

    I’ll catch up on the blog in a minute, but I actually have a horror story from this weekend to share with you.

    We just got back from spending the day with MIL and the rest of hubby’s family. Both my husband and I commented that this was the first time in years that we left a family gathering without being angry at someone/something or not bitching about someone/something. I almost want to know what happened to the real people and who decided to replace them with the nice version for this visit.

    This visit with the family sounds like something that Mark would write about. Did I have a Mark Laflamme day and not know it?

  34. Linda said,

    Wow — pod people have replaced Bobbie’s in-laws! That’s horror! LOL

  35. Bobbie said,

    Hubby said it wasn’t pod people today-they just upped their Prozac for the day!

  36. jarheaddoc said,

    I worked, but my weekend went okay: no drunks, no drunks in car wrecks, no bodies in the structre fire, the motor is starting to reveal its secrets to me, and I got rid of the two kittens that were slated for other homes. And I helped my wife with her flower garden, which is something she’s been waiting to do for a while.

  37. jarheaddoc said,

    Linda, I have yet to get that e-mail you metnioned would be coming my way

  38. Linda said,

    OK, coming at you now jd.

  39. jarheaddoc said,

    And right back at ya! Isn’t modern technology wonderful? Makes me think Mark should have used it to cover up Frenchy McSpeedo and his….junk….for lack of a better word

  40. Linda said,

    Well it is a pretty bad photo, doesn’t make me start packing for OOB exactly. But then, lots of Mark’s pictures are sort of NSFW.

  41. jarheaddoc said,

    Bobbie, I’ve got a pickled egg story for you. I forgot that I detest the damn things, so I bought a couple to scarf down on the way to wherever we were going, along with a Coke to wash it down. I stuffed one in my face at a stop sign, only to have my memory kick in. I took a swig of soda to wash the mess out of my mouth while I hung my head out the window to spit the mixture everywhere. I was right next to a Ford Escort full of nuns in their habits and I must have looked like something straight from an exorcism, as those nuns took off as fast as that Escort could get out of the gates. Pickled eggs: right up there with a baloot, or whatever the hell it’s called. Not something I’d eat on a regualr basis, but if I were a prisoner of war and given the coice between them and the ass out of a dead rat….

  42. Linda said,

    I can’t believe it — Varitek just tied up the game with a 3 run homer!!! if there’s anyone else out there who cares.

  43. jarheaddoc said,

    Mark is NSFW, and that’s just his regular duties, never mind this blog. How does he keep his job there when all the regular posters are so anti-SJ?

  44. Bobbie said,

    Have something for you guys to try out tonight:

    http://fun.from.hell.pl/2003-11-24/bubblewrapswf

  45. Linda said,

    I wonder that too. I’m imagining that he must have filtered his thoughts a bit differently when his blog was on the SJ site, but then, could he do that? And certainly his “public” couldn’t have. It’s a mystery to me.

  46. Linda said,

    you put that site thru the Yahoo translator, jd? what’s it look like after that?

  47. jarheaddoc said,

    This kitten that we kept doesn’t seem to miss his siblings at home. He’s found not only his tail, but an imaginary piece of something that is keeping him very busy. He’s fitting right in: acts like a kitten when you’re looking, just to earn his keep, you know, then he’s a rug when you turn your back. He’s very laid back, so I think he’s going to be a good cat.

  48. Linda said,

    Sounds good — the kitten. Name him yet?

    And Bobbie, love the bubble wrap. Very more-ish.

  49. jarheaddoc said,

    We call him Smoky. He’s charcoal gray. The other two went to a co-worker of mine, and I know they’ll get a good home. I was happy to see them go together, actually, as they’re both kinda skittish and they’ll at least have each other.

  50. Bobbie said,

    When Mark’s blog was on the SJ site, he didn’t filter his thoughts. We had people call us pornographic because of the naked Santa photo, we had the feed me dead dog photos on there as well and a few others that pushed the envelope as well but I can’t remember them now. The only difference between the blogs is that Mark doesn’t have to worry about the filters screwing with his best cuss words. Most of the people on this blog, including myself, only became anti-SJ after the mess that Dan caused. Eric, the webmaster, showed his obvious bias towards different people who posted on the previous site. If you were a paying customer and had an issue, you were given a rather polite response; if you had a free account, you were given a rude response and basically told to go fuck yourself, ignored and even belittled at times. I still have a free account there (I check the obits because I still have family and friends that live in the area) and am still trying to get an answer from him to a question that I have about a certain blog. Even asking Rex for assistance got me nowhere-he forwarded my request for info to Eric, who saw fit to ignore me to this day.

  51. Linda said,

    Well I’m sure it’s more fun here.

    Damn, speaking of NSFW, I may be that way myself tomorrow. Or vice versa. Four and a half days off and I practically feel unemployed. Reality check tomorrow.

  52. jarheaddoc said,

    I’m beginning to think that Varitek wasted a good home run.

  53. jarheaddoc said,

    Now I know he did. fucking Dead Sox

  54. Linda said,

    Please, no more pain for me today, I thought you promised.

  55. jarheaddoc said,

    Different subject, sweety, and we only hurt the ones we love.

  56. Linda said,

    OK, yes, you did only promise on the one subject. Point to you.

  57. Linda said,

    So Peter Griffith says, Wait, Lois, men are talking. And this to a woman studying a martial art.

  58. jarheaddoc said,

    WTF is that a reference to, Linda?

  59. Linda said,

    The Family Guy. TBS.

  60. jarheaddoc said,

    And there’s a goddam viagra commercial for a spnsor on the after game show. guess the sox should have taken their dose of the little blew bomb later: they blew their load too early

  61. jarheaddoc said,

    That didn’t take you long, to cut and run on the sox. Fair weather fan! Fair weather fan! Smart woman, but a fair weather fan!

  62. Linda said,

    Anodyne to the Sox. I wanted to laugh, not cry.

    Now just to give everyone the whole other reason to laugh at me for a change, time for my favourite Shakespeare citation: I am going to “knit up the ravel’d sleeve of care.” Still muzzy-headed from the several beers I drank before realizing that the ex SIL wasn’t going to show up. Bye!

  63. Bobbie said,

    It is definitely more fun in here than the other blog. On any given day, our bloggers are more intelligent, more articulate, better behaved and saner than the posters they have now on the SJ site.

    And no, I haven’t been drinking all day, either. Yes, I did pay the bloggers here a few compliments.

  64. LaFlamme said,

    Okay. Someone clue me in on the definition of NSFW.

  65. Bobbie said,

    With Mark the only one lurking around at this time of the morning, I’ll go ahead and post this.

    At the family gathering, we, of course, caught up on what’s going on with the rest of the family. I found out that one niece gets out of prison on Wednesday morning. After having 5 surgeries in 14 months to correct a problem, she became hooked on pain meds. She went thru rehab twice, had a run in with the law and screwed up her probation to the point where he PO put her in jail. Her decisions cost her her children, her husband and her marriage.

    The second niece walked away from her husband and four children. She became involved with someone who was a military medic. He ended up being sent to Iraq and was killed 10 days after he arrived. We gather that this incident happened fairly recently because the niece hadn’t had time to obtain a divorce from her current husband. If my MIL is correct, the niece’s former husband is now in jail for killing his father over the extended abuse that his mother had suffered at the hands of her husband. The children ended up with the husband’s mother and since the oldest child was not the husband’s flesh and blood, the mother called Social Services to report that the child had molested his half-sister in order ot have him removed from the house. The charges were dropped against the child and he is now with his paternal grandmother who could care less about what he does. This is the same grandmother who let this child run wild at the age of 7 because she didn’t care, the father didn’t care and our niece was busy setting up her new life.

    My BIL rolled his vehicle last year while he was out collecting aluminium to make some extra money. He had his girldriend’s grandson with him and the child was not secured in the cab of the truck. My BIL was charged with child endangerment, reckless driving, driving with no insurance, driving under the influence of alcohol and drugs, driving with no license and failure to pay a previous ticket for child endangerment because the BIL had previously been stopped for not having the child secured in the front seat of his truck. The child’s injuries were severe enough to require a Flight for LIfe from here to Denver. My BIL had so much alcohol and other things in his system that the hospital could not give him any pain meds for his injuries for 24 hours. He was recently found guilty on all charges and if his girlfriend is correct, he was given 3 years of probation and 100 hours of community service. It would appear that my BIL’s “invisible” source of income had quite a few prominent people in the area concerned about any deal that my BIL might make to avoid going to jail, so the rumor around town is that’s the reason the BIL only received probation and community service instead of the 5 years that he was originally facing. My BIL has not learned anything from this incident and is already back to driving without a license (he’ll never get a license here due to the many prior drinking and driving charges that he’s had over the years) and doing it while intoxicated. Due to what he knows about certain people in town, he probably won’t be picked up for any future probation violations, unpaid fines or unfulfilled required community service obligations.

    Don’t ask me why I posted this tonight because I seriously doubt that I could give you a good answer.

  66. Martha said,

    Thank you Mark. I was wondering but didn’t dare ask.. Still not sure I want to know.
    My only holiday excitement was slamming my finger in my kitchen door. Gashed it pretty good in a couple places. Not a good move, considering I type for a living. LOL.. good thing it doesn’t require speed. The butterscotch schnapps lured me this afternoon. There wasn’t much left and its gone.. I slept VERY well.

  67. Linda said,

    Not Safe For Work. A voluntary rating system for links, after some of us gave co-workers a fright. Gil and K2 use it I believe.

  68. Linda said,

    OK, Martha, I’m really sorry about your finger but I just can’t get the butterscotch schnapps out of my mind. I don’t usually drink anything sweeter than Drambuie but I’ve just got to get some of that butterscotch. Does it ever sound good!

    Hope the finger’s not too painful to type with — never mind work, woman, you have a lot going on and you need to BLOG! I know, you could type with one hand / use half the keys, and we could try to guess what you mean. That would fit right in with the style of this blog, eh?

  69. Martha said,

    LOL Linda, I’m managing with the finger.. I back up almost as much as I go forward. Its still a mess.. I probably should have had it looked at, but didn’t have time before work. I cleaned it with betadine and am keeping the triple antibiotic ointment on it. I’m sure I’ll live. It’s just REALLY awkward. Besides which, I’m right handed, and of course, its my right hand.

  70. Jacki said,

    Tha’ts the best answer of all time! JMHO

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