June 15, 2006 at 12:06 am (Uncategorized)

I am blinded by tears while writing this. Those who know me understand how much the city of Lewiston means to me. That city whose soul was formed by many faiths. Without regard to creed or race. And whose sons are proud to call you home. And whatnot Oh, it's just all too much. Does somebody have a tissue?

ist2_399287_music_note.jpgI don't mean to make fun of Lewiston and it's staggering attempt at a city song. But when I think of Nick Knowlton and his merry band bawling this tune enroute to California, I get shooting pains in my spleen. My vision blurs and I can't stop thinking about the hookers, crackheads and panhandlers standing shoulder-to-shoulder crooning along. I get misty, is what I'm saying. Seriously misty.

I just want to wander to Bartlett and Walnut, grab the first person I see, and hug him. I want to tell him: "We are all sons of this proud, embattled city. We are brothers of Lewiston, as sure as I'm standing here hugging your skinny ass. I love you, man. I love you."

Seriously, does anybody have a tissue? Because I'm about to get shot in the ass.

Oh! Lewiston

This town was built by the strength

of the working hands

By the hearts and souls with a sacred plan

To build a town that would always stand

For family and home

It stood every test you could give a town

Through the long lean years

When the mills shut down

It was built on faith and in faith it found

A way to carry on

Oh! Lewiston, you move like

The Might river

Onward forever with your

Shoulder to the stone

Oh! Lewiston, all your sons and daughters

Speak of you with pride

And are proud to call you home

Your soul was formed by many faiths

Without regard to creed or race

It's the love of all

The makes this place

All that it's become

So here's to everyone of you

Who carry on those dreams come true

Of the place where everyone can do

Everything they can










  1. Martha said,

    HMMMMMM… Lewiston.. I’ve lived there, but I’m not from there. In fact it is my high school’s rival, but I’m not from Auburn either. I was born in Waterville, grew up in Vassalboro and moved to Mechanic Falls as a teenager. I have siblings and other relatives scattered around numerous places in Maine, So, how about we just say I’m a Mainiac and proud of it. Is that close enough?

  2. Asshat said,

    Is this going to be released in Somalian too? I mean, shouldn’t Kaileigh Tara be singing this in the midst of a group of Somalians? Beeotch.

  3. Mainetarr said,

    Nick Knowlton without Bette Sanborn? Isn’t that a violation of some Lewiston ordinance? What a freaking joke. Lewiston Anthem….I read the article about how disappointed the city was that they weren’t awarded city of the year. Are the city officials there smoking crack? Or just sniffing each other’s cracks? Have any of them driven down Lisbon Street and had some black guy try to get into their car? No? I have. Twice. Good thing I usually keep my car doors locked-now I always have to. Or what about all of the basketball courts being ripped out of the park? You know, the ones who are packed every night with downtown kids who have nothing else to do, so that they can build a skate park for kids who can afford skateboards, pads, helmets, etc….Yeah, that was real thoughtful of the city. Asshats.

  4. AO said,

    I’ve always thought of Lewiston as the arm-pit of the world. Now they have their own anthem. Well, good for them. I still think it’s a stinky city. No song is going to make it smell any better.

  5. Bobbie said,

    I lived in Lewiston for awhile a few years ago and I have to agree with AO that it’s the arm pit of the world. I grew up in Auburn, so maybe that makes me biased, but who cares?

  6. jarheaddoc said,

    I was probably a teenager before I realized the name of the city wasn’t pronounced “Loy-stin”

    You knew a family had hit the big time when they moved across the river to Auburn, and hit the skids when they had to move to Lewiston.

    The song sounds like a recruiting pitch

  7. Linda said,

    Lewiston was “the big city” when I was a kid. The shopping and dining mecca. Jeez, we were rubes.

  8. Gil said,

    Notice how the song refers only to Lewiston’s past, as to how and why the town was built. That’s because “crack-whore” and “Welfare Queen” just doesn’t have the same melodic quality. And “Soon to be Meth capital of the Northeast” just isn’t a catchy title.

  9. AO said,

    Found another squirrel in my pool this morning. BUT..this one was still alive. I made my husband come home and fish it out. Damn squirrels are gonna drive me nuts!

  10. AO said,

    I can’t even READ through the whole song. I’d hate to have to sit and listen to it. I’m afraid it would make my ears bleed.

  11. "Weasel, Jr" said,

    I’m from Niagara Falls, NY originally.
    Lived in many places, some I’ve liked, some I’ve despised.
    Ex: Westhampton Beach, NY = woo hoo !! 2 yrs of heaven !
    Lawrence, Mass. = Hey, a copy of Lewiston, in Mass., but they have
    hispanics instead of Somali’s.
    Limestone, Maine = teh suk ! (and I do mean suck, like, in (“suck out loud”)

    Asshat has it exactly right. Sue D’Auteil; aka Kaileigh Tara, is a fuck bag sore-ridden pustulent droop-titted chlamiydia infected cock sucking hag. She should be condemned to the 7th level of hell for the evil she has wrought on Lewiston. Her and Dottie “Happy Dottie” Whitter. Matched set of idiots.

    Lewiston has a song huh ? The streets are a wreck, they never get plowed well in the winter & collapse in the summer. The trash gets picked up & spilled all over the place, the streets are lined with trash, all the ‘tards and feebs & sex offenders in the state are moving here, we have an alledged perv as mayor, a dumbocrat governor; but hey, Lewiston has a song.

    And then they send all those people off to California on an all-expense paid vacation
    (I bet they got their regular pay during that period too). But, Lewiston has a song.

    Thank God, or Allah, or the sacred billy goat; I don’t live in Lewiston. They have a song.

    Note of the Day: 620,000 Somali shillings = 1 US dollar.
    Somalia doesn’t have a song. Lewiston has a song. The Somalis don’t care.

  12. Androgenous Dan/Jean said,

    Suggest removal of #11! This is obviously a crazed person. Why, just last week I broke in the khat market and the government is still sending me my checks. Here’s hoping they never find out! TEE HEE!

  13. jarheaddoc said,

    This being an equal opportunity blog that is firmly indefense of the first amendment, is there anyone out there with anything good to say about Lewiston?

  14. Fiend said,

    Jarheaddoc, I have a nice thing to say. $50.00 will get you a blow job and a rock. Best prices in the northeast!!!

  15. "Weasel, Jr" said,

    There are good things about Lewiston; but it is only because of individuals making an effort IN SPITE OF what the City Gov’t does. .

    It’s sad when the focus of the City at its’ higher levels is to become an all american city and to – yes – have a song.

    I, for one, would rather pass on the song, & have streets that aren’t as beat and decrepit as these are !

  16. K2 said,

    I like Lewiston, but come on, it’s a shit hole.

    Anyhow , the song is gayer than Liberace. For posterity’s sake, here’s my post on the SJ site regrading all this All-American stupidity:

    Call me crazy, but this All-American City stuff is just plain silly. The whole event sounded like a glee club gone wild.

    Yes, I suppose there’s a little marketing potential with the ‘All-American’ label. But at the end of the day, it’s an utterly meaningless designation. This just in: Lewiston is, in fact, an American city already. But we’re not All-American? We should sue the All-American cities and claim defamation. Think of the punitive damages.

    And the fact that some folks in Lewiston are so insecure regarding Lewiston’s perceived status in the eyes of Idahoians, Nebraskans, Alabamians, Oregonianas et al. that they crave some made-up titular recognition is rather pathetic in my book.

  17. jarheaddoc said,

    Maybe the city can also procalim itself something like ‘the most immigrant friendly city in America’ or ‘The Immigrant Capitol of the United States”

  18. Linda said,

    But didn’t it used to be Shangri-La, according to Mark’s column?

    jd, that was the best I could do for something nice.

  19. "Weasel, Jr" said,

    I believe it’s Boulder, Colorado that has that honour. They have declared themselves a sanctuary city & put up signs telling the illegals they’re safe; they’ve made it to the sanctuary zone.

    No, Lewistons’ issues aren’t illegals, it’s the PC tomfoolery & unbridled self-interest that hurts this place (amongst many other things).

  20. jarheaddoc said,

    Linda, I have no clue what you meant about the comment addressed to me in #18. Are you just trying to be nice overall, or just to me?

  21. Linda said,

    jd, you jerk, what are you smoking or drinking that’s destroyed your short term memory so completely?

    First — you asked (unlucky #13) if anyone had anything nice to say. So take it or freakin leave it, it’s the best I’ve got.

    Second — if you don’t know what I mean about Shangri-La you haven’t been keeping up. Read Mark’s column in SJ

    Third — if you think there’s any chance of me going out of my way to be nice just to you, well, re-read above. And also think for a minute if there’s any way in which you could possibly deserve it. No? well there you go, mate, you have your answer.

    ps I am at work, making it a point not to be rude. If my webmaster is reading this — hi Bill, sorry about my comments to you earlier today, no offense, right?

  22. jarheaddoc said,


  23. Linda said,

    Good one, jd. I guess you are paying attention after all.

  24. Mainetarr said,

    That’s it Linda, rip him a new asshole. Don’t hold back.

    Lewiston is a joke and it’s not getting any better. Kaileigh Tara is the biggest piece of shit Lewiston has ever seen. She is equilivent to having Joe Ricci as governor. Idiot, freaking idiot. Celebrate diversity? Maybe if they didn’t celebrate that first, they would have had a better chance of celebrating City of the Year. Asshats.

  25. "The Weasel" said,

  26. Anonymous said,


  27. "Weasel, Jr" said,


  28. "Weasel, Jr" said,

    Hey that wasn’t me that posted that !!
    (But I would have had I seen it.)

    Dad was right, I’m going to have to use validation codes too.

    LaFlamme Validation code: “Lisbon street hookers are cheap !” “We know !”

  29. Linda said,

    So what’s going on this afternoon? Are we done trashing Lewiston, its song and its mayor? What or who should we go after next?

    Pack of jackals, ain’t we? I’m in the mood for it. Is it Friday yet?

  30. Crystal said,

    I hope you are bored rather than board Weasel, Jr.!!

  31. Linda said,


    I wasn’t sure if it would link, so I pasted this story in from the SJ. My mood is starting to improve, and I’m only on page 3!!!


    Drugs found in cabinets bought from Home Depot

    Thursday, June 15,2006
    SOUTHWICK, Mass. (AP) – For the fifth time in a week, a stash of drugs was found in a cabinet purchased at a Home Depot store in Massachusetts.

    A plumber in Southwick discovered 40 pounds of marijuana and three kilograms of cocaine stashed in a bathroom vanity he’d purchased at a Home Depot in Chicopee for a home renovation.

    Southwick Police Lt. David Ricardi said a second stash was found at the Chicopee store and at least two more were discovered at a Tewksbury Home Depot. Police found more drugs in a fifth cabinet.

    One of the Tewksbury stashes was discovered June 8 after a homeowner brought home a cabinet and found 50 pounds of marijuana.

    “It’s a smuggling operation gone bad,” Ricardi said. “Somebody owes some money.”

    Tony Pettigrew, a spokesman for the Drug Enforcement Administration, confirmed Wednesday that his agency was investigating.

    He declined further comment.

    A statement from Atlanta-based Home Depot said the company was cooperating with investigators. The company declined further comment.

    Ricardi said the plumber discovered the drugs in Southwick on Monday after he bought the vanity. The man noticed the vanity top hadn’t been included in the package and instead found two plastic bags containing the drugs stuffed inside. Ricardi said the drugs were worth $200,000.

    AP-ES-06-14-06 1550EDT

  32. AO said,

    Boy, buy a medicine cabinet at Home Depot and it comes fully stocked!

  33. Linda said,

    I’m going to Massachusetts next week, maybe I’ll stop by Home Depot while I’m there.

  34. AO said,

    Be sure to check inside anything you may purchase, first!

  35. Mainetarr said,

    Just imagine if you bought a liquor cabinet there. Holy crap, PBR and tequila forever!!

  36. AO said,

    Maybe I should mosey on over to HD and check out their wine coolers.

  37. Linda said,

    Jeez, I hope Mark wasn’t planning to blog that story. Not that the man ever has trouble finding material… so let him complain I guess.

  38. Linda said,

    So, AO, MT — do you think anyone’s coming back tonight? Hope I wasn’t too crabby earlier. Bad day. The person I like and respect the most at the place where I work is semi-leaving, I found out today, and my mood over that might possibly have spilled over into the blog at lunchtime. Probably nobody noticed though …

  39. jarheaddoc said,

    Bitch, piss, and moan. We’re used to it

  40. AO said,

    Linda, We’ve been blogging for so long that…we’ve all grown tough skins. Ya gotta have one to keep up with this bunch. I don’t think you could ever scare anybody off.

    Squirrel update: My husband went and checked on the squirrel he pulled from the pool this morning and…it didn’t make it. So, now I’m up to three dead squirrels this spring.

  41. Linda said,

    Yeah, I know. Better now anyhow, I think I fell asleep for a while.

  42. Bobbie said,

    Summer has arrived in Colorado-we have tornados either trying to form or that have formed within a 50 mile radius of us. Ain’t summer wonderful?! NOT!!!!

  43. jarheaddoc said,

    Then move to Lewiston

  44. Bobbie said,

    I’d much rather deal with the severe weather and tornados than ever move to Lewiston again.

  45. jarheaddoc said,

    well, the government does provide insurance for shit like that, but not for the fucking idiot who lives next to you and whose dog shits in your flowers.

  46. Bobbie said,

    Don’t know what to tell you on that one, JD. If you ever figure it out, definitely let me know!

  47. jarheaddoc said,

    The trick is to make people think you have a fisher cat in the neighborhood, bobbie

  48. Mainetarr said,

    Linda, I noticed you were a bit off, but like AO said, we have tough skins. I have had many pissed off moments myself. It’s good to vent and this is a great place because you usually end up laughing.

    Bobbie, I would rather live in Colorado too if I had to choose between Tornado’s and Lewiston. Lewiston is more like Punkville meets Mogadishu meets New York. It’s all messed up.

    AO, excellent steak subs today and Dr. C liked the turkey sub, he scoffed it right down. Good eats…everytime. The steak was outta this world!! Thanks!

  49. Linda said,

    Hi guys, what’s up?

  50. Linda said,

    This is not the crabby Linda, don’t worry.

    Steak subs? Yum.

    You guys ought to move to Wilton. No tornadoes, we used to be Shangri-La also, and you could come and drink beer at the Boiler Room with me — that’s my “local” as they say in the Commonwealth.

  51. Linda said,

    And besides, you could be lulled to sleep by loons on the lake and wakened to the sun’s early rays by a rooster’s melodic reveille; I did tell you that he’s back, right? I’m telling you, you’d love it here.

  52. AO said,

    MT, Glad to hear that the food was up to snuff. Made it all myself. I was a little worried that one of the steak subs was over cooked… complaints? If it was, just let me know. I’ll happily refund your money with a ūüôā !!

    Linda…I’d LOVE to go to the Boiler Room with you. Sounds like a great place.

  53. Linda said,

    AO are you sure they are squirrels? they sound more like lemmings. Very upsetting for you.

    Should you get a cat and let it keep squirrels away from the pool?

  54. Linda said,

    Oh, I love the Boiler Room. It’s an actual boiler room in the old Bass shoe factory, and the boiler door is on the wall. In the summer you can sit on the deck over the stream — hmm, stream — where was I ? oh yes, overlooking the stream, under an umbrella, and drink beer. Or I know from experience that they have very nice Chardonnay. And the quesadillas and onion rings are yummy, but I bet your steak subs are better than theirs.

  55. AO said,

    Nope, they’re squirrels..for sure. And, I personally can’t have a cat…allergies..but, there a plenty of neighborhood cats to scare the, apparently, stupid squirrels away.

    Ooh, the Boiler Room sounds like my kind of place! Would you mind if I bunked on your couch? Ha.

  56. Linda said,

    AO, I’d love to have you, but don’t you remember when my husband was away and I had classic horror weekend and lots of wine, and slept on my couch, and could hardly walk the next day?

    No, we’ll have a late night and then a limo, howzat?

  57. AO said,

    Where the hell is our blog miester? Hope he hasn’t fallen into the sink hole that has now become Lisbon St.

  58. AO said,

    Sounds just fine to me! I’d really like to check out the Boiler Room.

    Do you ever get to Farmington? Is The Piece of Cake still open? I used to love that place.

  59. AO said,

    Okay, I just FORCED myself to read all of the lyrics to the Lewiston anthem. All I have to say is…***Insert puking sound here***

  60. Linda said,

    Sure, I work in Farmington, and go “downtown” a lot. There are some reasonable shops, nice restaurants, a movie theater, more walking trails, lots of concerts and plays at the university (U of M at Farmington). But no Piece of Cake sorry to say. How about the Homestead Bakery, right next door to Renys? Or Soup For You, a very nice lunch place. or Java Joe’s any time of day. And the sweetest little park on Temple Stream, with picnic spots and soft sheltered grassy glades.

    Sounds like I work for the Chamber of Commerce, eh? Even Wilton doesn’t look that bad to me tonight. Not sure if it’s the sinkholes and tornadoes, making me count my blessings.

  61. Linda said,

    No kidding, AO. Really sucks. What were they thinking? Lucky for you that you live in Auburn!!

  62. AO said,

    I used to travel to Wilton on a regular basis when I worked for the WIC program. But, it’s been a lot of years since I’ve been up there.

    Aww…no more Piece of Cake..oh well. It’s not like I’ve been to Farmington in a while. The last time I went through was on my way to Rangely.

  63. AO said,

    No kidding! I’d hate to live in a city where this song was it’s “theme” song. Gross.

  64. Linda said,

    Looks like no sign of our other blog buddies, AO, now that you mention it.

  65. AO said,

    Okay. Hate to end another “girls night” (lame-O guys!) but, I’ve got to hand the computer over to my son and, I HAVE to get some sleep! Gotta get up early and…work. Hope you all have a good night.

  66. AO said,

    Nope, no other blog buddies till probably…eleven!

  67. Linda said,

    What do you mean, “you all” ? I think it’s just me now! Night, AO.

    I’m putting aside all thoughts of the mischief I could get up to with the blog all to myself …

  68. Bobbie said,

    I’m still here, but I’ve been editing photos from the trip. I need to get cd’s made before I forget to do them.

  69. Linda said,

    Hi Bobbie, what a quiet night around here!!

  70. jarheaddoc said,

    Worse than a cemetery

  71. Linda said,

    Deader than a dodo.

  72. jarheaddoc said,

    Que pasa?

  73. Linda said,

    Not much. The usual. Shopping, reading blogs, reading a book, knitting. Wiping away a tear or two because all my blog buddies are absent.

  74. jarheaddoc said,

    I see. I have a good wine song for you, if you don’t mind goat roping music. go to the music section, click on videos, find trent willmon. It’s ‘on again tonight’

  75. Linda said,

    Also talking on the phone and planning a little trip later next week. i’m frantic to get out of town for a few days, you know?

  76. jarheaddoc said,

    I hear ya. I am thinking about doing the same, just getting away on an off period, if I can work out the details with the wife.

  77. jarheaddoc said,

    The cat has decided to come in for the night, so I am out of here. It has been an ugly afternoon and evening for a fair number of reasons, so I am hoping some rest will bring a better day tomorrow.

  78. Linda said,

    Thanks for the song, and have a better day tomorrow.

  79. Gil said,

    I pinch

  80. OCD Man, not Gil said,

    There, 80 posts. That odd number was driving me batshit, and since I’m the only one who never sleeps….

  81. Omnius said,

    Wanna be insomniac buddies?

  82. OCD Man, not Gil said,

    may as well

  83. Martha said,

    Speaking of goats…. here’s the latest saga with my wonderfully considerate neighbor. Considerate.. yeah right.
    I’m having a yard sale this weekend, so thought I’d be nice and offer to let her put out anything she’d like to. When I told her she informed me they’re hosting a retirement party at 2…”but most of the people will be done yard saling by then, so it shouldn’t be a problem.” In other words, I should close down my yard sale so as not to interfere with her party.. NOT!!!!! I’m running my yardsale till 5..
    Plus, them getting ready for their party has meant 3 days of even more noise, all hours of the day.. even when they KNOW I’m trying to sleep.

  84. Mainetarr said,

    Make sure to advertise a lot Martha and start at 7am just to piss them off. I would go right until 7pm too, bastards. I see a trip to see you in the near future to set the neighbors straight. Me and the intimidating Linda will come down there and read them the riot act.

  85. Martha said,

    LOL MT… well, I’m running an add in the local paper.. I will put up signs, and my big canopy.. I’ve advertised I’m running today 12-5 (since I don’t get out of work till 10) and tomorrow 9-5.. And I don’t care if they like it or not.

  86. Linda said,

    Gil, your buddies are pretty cryptic. And as for you — well, exactly what DO you pinch?

  87. Linda said,

    Hi Gil, is this what you had in mind? I gotta know.

  88. Oopsy said,

    I am soooo glad that there are other idiots out there who dont like lobster. People look at me like I crawled out of some hole when I pass on the L-food. I’m not much for any shellfish, actually, altho I do like scallope. BUT PLEASE – NO RAW CLAMS OR OYSTERS!! Messy slimy things remind me of innards, and I dont eat them either!!
    On the veggie side, I now eat a lot of things I didnt think I liked as a kid – broccoli, cauliflower, lima beans, cabbage come to mind. BUT … I still HATE brussels sprouts and turnips/rutabagas. YUCK. I”m with Mark about the onions – cant stand them raw, but I like them cooked, and in fact when I am cooking, most anything I make for Main Course comes with fried onions in it. :>)

    And, when I was growing up my mom thought i was allergic to eggs cause I hurled them. So I never had to eat them. As I got older I realized I couldnt be allergic – I mean, I LOVE French Toast and quiche. So, it comes out that I just really DONT LIKE EGGS – in most forms (french toast, quiche, and omelettes full of “stuff” I love)

  89. Kaileigh Tara said,

    It is amazing to me that some of you spent so much time commenting on this – and Mark Laflamme – never knew that side of you – no wonder you and my friend never worked out – she had a positive view of your writing.
    Well, I’ll just be me – hey write a song about this:
    may you all find things to live and love and laugh about, may there be peace in your hearts and homes and may you, should you fall, be surrounded by people who are not sitting at their computers but actually there to help you get back up.
    Kaileigh A. Tara – and rather proud of it.

  90. LaFlamme said,

    Wow. Dissed by a former ribbon cutter. My how that stings.

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