Head games

June 17, 2006 at 1:39 am (Uncategorized)

2004-halloween-12.jpgSo, you despise your wife so intensely, you cannot bear to let her live. Yet, some affection lingers and so you hang on to her pretty noggin for a while after tossing the rest of her out with the garbage. I know, I know. It's a variation of the same old story. Man kills wife, keeps her head, crashes into another car. Dismembered head flies from the wreckage and goes bouncing across four lanes of traffic with that dead scream trapped on the decaying face.

For the two of you left in the world who did not hear this story Friday, here are the basics:

Boise, ID (AHN) – In a bizarre incident, the severed head of a man's wife flew from his pickup truck Thursday when he crashed into an oncoming car. The accident also killed the driver and her child. The investigation of the deadly wreck and the head, which was tossed onto the roadway by the accident led police to the remaining body of 47-year-old Theresa N. Time in the garage of the home she shared with her husband – Alofa Time.

So many heinous things happen these days, we barely even wince anymore. Over time, we may lose our wincing reflex altogether. Jealous women hack off the penises of the men who betray them. Egocentric men hack up their wives and unborn children and then throw the corpses to the fishes. One notorious killer chopped up his mother and then fed her voice box into the garbage disposal to shut her up once and for all.

So, the story of the madman speeding down the road with his dead wife's head in the car is not so startling in a relative way. Yet it tantalizes me to no end. It tantalizes because I want to know… I really want to know what that freak was planning to do with the head. Was he heading to the bowling alley to try to make headway in his game? Was he heading to his favorite bar to crack up his drinking buddies with a joke about "getting a little head?" Was he heading to the head shop? What heady business did this headcase have in mind?

get-your-head-out.jpgClearly I'm not making any headway trying to sort this out on my own. I think it's evident I have my head up my ass. I can't even think of a good headline. So, I'm giving you the heads up. I'm going to head out and leave this mystery for you to make heads or tails of. I know that by putting your heads together, you'll meet this challenge head on. Me, I'm getting a headache.

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41 Comments

  1. Bobbie said,

    Thankfully Bulldog was never capable of doing this. Lord only knows what would have happened if she could have. It does make you wonder if it really would be big enough to accomodate some of the big-headed people I know.

  2. Linda said,

    I’m going to go drink a LOT more coffe before I even try to figure it out.

  3. jarheaddoc said,

    Seven more and he could have made a sequel to the movie with Joe Pesci in it

  4. Linda said,

    No, the reason doesn’t jump right out at you , does it? You’d think the head would just sit there blaming you, making it impossible to forget you’d killed and dismembered someone.

    Or maybe I’m overthinking it. Just because I’d want to forget, doesn’t mean that psychopaths would want to.

  5. Anonymous said,

    Maine hairdressers are now being trained to spot abuse and report it. The theory is that you open up to your hairdresser about everything because it’s a safe haven for people.

  6. Bobbie said,

    Don’t knock 8 Heads In a Dufflebag. It’s a good movie and one I watch when I need a good laugh. Gotta feel sorry for David Spade’s roommate in the movie tho-it’s obvious that he just can’t wrap his head around the fact someone has that much interest in 8 heads.

  7. Linda said,

    OK I guess my mistake was in looking for an answer in psychology or psychopathology. Clearly the best place to start with anything like this is in the lessons of popular culture — movies and music. Right? After all, what fun is dismemberment and decapitation otherwise? Guess I’m a nerd at heart. 🙂

  8. AO said,

    “Getting a little head”…ha.

    What a sick bastard. Time, not LaFlamme.

  9. Anonymous said,

    Hi AO, happy Saturday.

    It was the bowling alley suggestion that made my head spin. Can you imagine it?

    Any squirrels in the pool today, or just the family?

  10. Linda said,

    Me, of course. Though the earlier Anonymous wasn’t me

  11. AO said,

    Not yet. But, I keep checking. I’ve got a sh** load of errands to do and, I have a sick son. It never ends.

  12. Linda said,

    I’m having a quiet day, can’t seem to get enough sleep. Just me and the dog, and it’s very quiet. Chores, correspondence and naps. We were out in the sun but I was afraid I’d fall asleep out there so I came in.

  13. AO said,

    Lucky you. I love quiet days. They just seem so rare. Oh, well, gotta run. Hope you have a nice nap!

  14. Mainetarr said,

    Just got back from Lewiston High School, been there since 9am. There is a huge Lacrosse Tourney that is going on all day there, my Godson Tyler is in. Good stuff, laying out on a big blanket with the kids, just relaxing in the sun. Chris let me sleep in until 8am which was nice!!! Good way to start a vacation! My house is 60 degrees inside,.nice and comfy, too…life is good.

  15. AO said,

    Who won?

  16. Linda said,

    Sounds great MT! My company just left, I’m coasting into vacation too.

  17. Bobbie said,

    It must be something in the air as far as lazy days go-we’ve had a lazy day ourselves here. Now it’s time to get ready to go see the new X-Men movie. Next week, it’s Cars. Hopefully vacation will stay lazy for everyone.

  18. AO said,

    My husband and son saw X-Men a few weeks ago. They both loved it. I want to see The Lake House. I know, chick-flick but, I still want to see it. Anything to do with time travel intrests me.

  19. Linda said,

    Lake House, that does sound good. Not so sure about X-Men. I have a bunch of movie tickets, just need to work it into my hectic schedule!! maybe next week… there’s a nice movie theater in Farmington.

  20. Martha said,

    I actually had a pretty relaxed day other than tearing down my yard sale this evening. At the end of my yard there are 2 nice trees that make a great place to sit in the shade when I have to be out all day… Lots of fresh air, then a little hard work. Oh, and a wine cooler with dinner. I should sleep well tonight.

  21. Linda said,

    Glad to hear the sale went OK, Martha. And that the neighbor was cool about it after all. It’s pretty hot here (except not at MT’s house of course).

    See you later!

  22. Dave said,

    I’m starting to wonder about this LaFlamme guy….

  23. Martha said,

    LOL Dave.. you’re catching on..

  24. Linda said,

    Who??

  25. AO said,

    We ALL wonder about LaFlamme. Nothing new.

  26. AO said,

    I seriously think he needs editing.

  27. Linda said,

    Watcha doing?

    If you are still up, give me a minute to send you an email.. You won’t be sorry you waited for it. 🙂

  28. AO said,

    I’m getting ready to grind coffee beans. Nothing too important. So, yes, I’ll wait for your email. 🙂

  29. Martha said,

    I’m trying to finish my coffee so I can go to bed.. and no, it won’t keep me awake.. just keeps me from getting up with a headache in the morning

  30. Linda said,

    So — do you like it? or what?

  31. Linda said,

    I like to drink coffee at night too Martha. I keeps me awake but that’s one of the things I like about it.

  32. Martha said,

    LOL Linda.. I just would rather not have the headache wake me up in the morning or sooner.

  33. Linda said,

    C’mon AO, you can watch it some more tomorrow, tell me NOW if you like it!!

  34. Martha said,

    The only thing is, I won’t get a headache, but I’ll be up half a dozen times during the night… LOL… I guess it jsut all depends which aggravation I’d rather put up with.

  35. AO said,

    I LIKE it!! I thought it was just…lovely!

  36. Linda said,

    Ha — I knew you would. Now, have a nice sleep …

  37. Martha said,

    Ok.. coffee is gone… going to bed.. night ladies.. you too Dave, if you’re still here.

  38. AO said,

    I will. Thanks. Night all.

  39. Bobbie said,

    Just got back from X-Men. I think that you’d like it, Linda. Just make sure that you stay until after the credits have rollded-there’s a surprise for everyone and it ties in with an earlier part of the movie. Don’t want to give anything away if people haven’t seen it already.

  40. K2 said,

    What a terrible case of skullliosis.

    Nog, nog, noggin on heaven’s door.

    Oh, and yes, LaFlamme should be institutionalized.

  41. Anonymous said,

    i know diz guy name nastyboy dat cn do da same thng bt he sucks iz on dick den eats out hiz ass with the help of ketcher

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