I feel pretty

June 26, 2006 at 4:01 pm (Uncategorized)

At a certain corner in downtown Lewiston these days is a very ugly cross dresser. I don’t say this to be mean. This person is probably a lovely, lovely man. Throw hip high boots, earrings and makeup on him, and he’s hideous. Even Treehugger would have to drink his way through the entire Jack Daniels plant to even wink at the dude.

pretty-boy.jpegI’m a live and let live kind of guy. I generally don’t care what a person wears, who or what they sleep, or what weird thing they do with kitchen implements bought on the Home Shopping Networking. The cross dressing phenomenon fascinates only because of the fact that some men look better dressed as women.

In that movie “To Wong Foo,” for instance, Patrick Swayze was a stunning little hottie in high heels and a skirt. Wesley Snipes, on the other hand, could not have turned on an 85-year-old wino on Viagra.

Me, I once allowed a girlfriend to dress me up in woman’s clothes for reasons I will not go into here (unless asked). I was absolutely atrocious to look at. For one thing, I have legs that don’t even compare to those of a chicken. They’re more like sparrow legs. And my nose. Have you seen that thing? The only woman alive who has a larger nose than me is Paula Jones. And, okay. Maybe Blossom. But we’re one in the same remember?

My point? Don’t have one. Just that there’s an unsightly cross dresser strolling around town and I find myself gawking at him/her. Every day. And at night, if I get a chance. This is clearly out of clinical curiosity, right?

Okay, I’ll start paying each of you psychiatric fees.

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41 Comments

  1. K2 said,

    There’s a sale at Penny’s!

  2. Treehugger said,

    KY……….
    so go stock up!
    And there is a 50 % off sale at midnight boutique in lewiston.

  3. K2 said,

    I take it you haven’t seen ‘Airplane’?

    Besides, I’m still at a loss since Fashion Bug Plus left town.

  4. K2 said,

    Crap, I forgot to call you ‘Goochugger.’

  5. AO said,

    I can feel the love floating around in here.

    I once lived downstairs from two gay guys. For some reason, their vacuum cleaner ran ALL the time. I once went up to their apratment to see if I could borrow something (a cup of sugar) and, the vacuum cleaner was running, the hallway was all done up in a tribute to Loretta Lynn (I’m not kidding) and one of the guys answered the door in on of the shortest, girliest robes I’ve ever seen. Ha. It was one of the funniest moments in my life. I mean, who the hell does a hallway tribute to Loretta Lynn? In Lewiston? No.

  6. K2 said,

    Now, AO, the floaties are just ‘fish eggs’ swirling in the hot tub. Who farted?

    And if gayness is an illness, can Goochugger call into work gay?

  7. LaFlamme said,

    I absolutely hated the flaming guy from Airplane. And not because he was flaming. Because he kept distracting from the witty, grumpy lines from Lloyd Bridges.

  8. AO said,

    Lloyd Bridges…classic in that movie.

    K2, I think it was my husband. He’s quite well known for his farts. He’s been known to clear a room.

  9. jarheaddoc said,

    Mark, I can understand the looking at that…person…but please don’t touch, especially yourself.

  10. Mainetarr said,

    Is that actually a picture of the guy downtown or is he someone you snagged off the web?

  11. AO said,

    He looks nothing like the guy downtown.

  12. K2 said,

    You hated the gay guy in Airplane? Oh, see now I don’t even know who you are anymore. That movie took being silly seriously.

  13. K2 said,

  14. AO said,

    Who are you talking to, K2? Not me. I loved everything to do with the movie Airplane. I also loved everything to do with Blazing Saddles. I’ve even got my 16 year old son hooked on that movie. I know, I’m a bad mom. But, we both share the same warped sense of humor.

  15. jarheaddoc said,

    I throw History of the World, Part One, out for discussion. For K2, ‘Roman Red!

  16. K2 said,

    No, AO, it was Mark, that hate mongrel. Jean’s right, this is the bigot blog. Or is it the spigot blog? Fuck it, pour me a draft.

    Ah, the Roman Red. Great lack-of-a-chace scene there. Man, those old Mel Brooks movies are classic. I need to see The Producers again soon. Just have to rent Annie first.

  17. Bobbie said,

    I guess we should all be thankful that I don’t have a picture of “Vanessa”, the local color person for Rocky Ford. Dresses like a female, has the rack to go with it (K2, that might interest you), but also comes with the original crank that he was born with, not to mention the 5 o’clock shadow after a long day. From what I understand, he went down to Trinidad and had the top half the job done. For any of you who don’t know, Trinidad is supposedly the sex change capitol of the world because of the amount of surgeries that they do on a yearly basis.

    The last time that I saw her/him, s/he was in said shape-someone got a rude surprise when they checked out the bottom half, beat the crap out of her/him and then threw her/him from the car as the guy stepped on the gas to get out of there. “Vanessa” had the guy in the photo beat by a mile as far as looks go. Still don’t know if that’s a good thing or not!

  18. LaFlamme said,

    The guy pictured above is not the Lewiston guy. Some some web dude one of you deviants sent to me months ago.

  19. jarheaddoc said,

    Bobbie, I saw a show on tv that said Thailand was the sex change capitol of the world. Maybe it’s just a competition between the two. Shit, if it keeps prices down, what the fuck ya know?

  20. jarheaddoc said,

    K2, that danica patrick photo op is weak, even gay, to use your own words against you. Maybe she’ll play a game of “I’ll show you mine” with you. And maybe she’ll just run your sorry foul mouthed ass over, too

  21. LaFlamme said,

    Incidentally, not one of you has confessed to wearing woman’s clothing. Not even the women.

  22. Mainetarr said,

    ‘Oh alright, I’ll admit. I wear womens clothing. There, I’ve said it. I have a rack too, albeit a smaller one. No crank, though. Don’t think Chris would appreciate a crank. LOL I heard Bulldog had a dog chewed crank in her closet. LOL

  23. Mainetarr said,

    Who is the guy downtown that wears dresses that is a really cute guy? What the heck was his name? Jessie?

  24. AO said,

    Hey! I’ll admit it. I wear women’s clothes. And..I’ll also go so far as to admitting that: I have a rack! And, it’s a mighty fine one, if I do say so myself!

  25. K2 said,

    Fucking foul-mouthed? That’s total bull shit, jd.

  26. LaFlamme said,

    Jesse Contos? You know, he’s a fine looking man, if you put aside the skirts. Not that I ever put aside his skirts. I’ve said too much.

  27. LaFlamme said,

    Is it me Or is crank just a funny, funny word?

  28. Bobbie said,

    Since the other women are admitting to it, I’ll admit it as well: I wear women’s clothing and have a rack as well. I would say that it’s impressive enough for the guys to look at, but then again, guys stare at any rack no matter the size.

  29. AO said,

    Crank. Depends on who’s cranking who. I’ve been cranked and…it’s not a good thing.

  30. Bobbie said,

    Patrick Swayze kept all of his outfits from that movie, to include the shoes. What about John Leguizomo(?)? He wasn’t such a bad looking girl either. I can see why they named Snipes’ character Noxema and dressed him that way. Why in the world would a transsexual willing choose the name of a facial cleaning cream as their alter ego?

  31. Bobbie said,

    I thought that crank would be the better of the choices that I had available to me to describe the male apendage. Atleast Mark thinks it’s a funny, funny word.

  32. Bobbie said,

    Ok, someone’s brave enough to ask about the details of you being dressed up in women’s clothing. I’m probably going to end up regretting asking, but it’s a slow night here and I need a good laugh at your expense, Mark.

  33. LaFlamme said,

    What? I admitted to it at the very start.

  34. AO said,

    But…why?? WHY were you dressed as a woman? We’re you on your way to a viewing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show? Why?

  35. LaFlamme said,

    Oh, I could never talk about that. The court order is still in effect. And that girlfriend is still out there somewhere.

  36. AO said,

    Yeah, but, I read in the B section yesterday that ,Flamette likes the Dixie Chicks!! Gawd..I knew I liked that girl! (I like them to, controversy and all) And, I remember you saying once that you broke up with a girl because she liked country music. So…give..why were you dressed as a woman? And, why the hell did Flamette marry you?

  37. LaFlamme said,

    I want to say something inappropriate containing the world “crank” here, but I’m taking the high road. Again!

  38. AO said,

    Well. How about..”Crank YOU AO!”..that would work for me!

  39. C-D Playa said,

    I’m kinda partial to panties and camisoles; soft, silky against my skin, I’m getting {deleted} just sitting here thinking about it ! My lover, “The Weasel”, loves to feel when I rub my {deleted} on his fur ! “Weasel” likes tight leather mini-skirts and 10-inch stiletto heels. Oh My ! And then Dan joins us for a {deleted} ! Woot !

    – – – – – – – – – Warning Warning Warning Warning – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
    Important Notice: The rest of this posting has been deleted for the protection of the members of this blog. No animals have been harmed during this deletion. Please move along, nothing more to see here. Thank You.
    Signed
    The Management

  40. brenda said,

    um, well, I wear women’s clothes, and also men’s clothes, sometimes both… but I can’t say which is the cross-dressing clothes…. just depends on my mood.

  41. Jack Kasem said,

    Google is the best search engine

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