The bombastic boob

July 28, 2006 at 10:12 pm (Uncategorized)


“I don’t want my son or husband to accidentally see a breast they didn’t want to see,” said the horrified woman, appalled at seeing a round, firm breast on the cover of a magazine.

Trust me, woman. There is no breast in the world your husband and son don’t want to see. Men and boys spend 95 percent of their time trying to get a glimpse of boob. If it weren’t for the possibility of glimpsing strange breasts, most males could not make it through the day. The chance of mammarian serendipity is one of the primary motivations for male survival.

Frankly, I don’t know how I feel about this storm of outrage. While I am among those males who enjoy an unexpected glimpse of boobage, there is something shocking when the boob in question happens to be feeding a small child. It is the epitome of conflict. The male thought pattern goes like this: “Hey! A naked boob! I’m going to call my friends! But wait! There’s a small child attached to it! I’m not calling anybody! But I’m still looking!”

But enough out of me. Behold the controversial C cup.


NEW YORK – “I was SHOCKED to see a giant breast on the cover of your magazine,” one person wrote. “I immediately turned the magazine face down,” wrote another. “Gross,” said a third.

These readers weren’t complaining about a sexually explicit cover, but rather one of a baby nursing, on a wholesome parenting magazine — yet another sign that Americans are squeamish over the sight of a nursing breast, even as breast-feeding itself gains greater support from the government and medical community.

Babytalk is a free magazine whose readership is overwhelmingly mothers of babies. Yet in a poll of more than 4,000 readers, a quarter of responses to the cover were negative, calling the photo — a baby and part of a woman’s breast, in profile — inappropriate.



  1. Mainetarr said,

    Prudes, the lot of them. That picture is adorible. Look at that baby’s eyes loving looking at his mother. Precious. There is NOTHING wrong with that picture.

  2. Linda said,

    Yeah, but someday that sweet baby will be a loutish man, trying to relive this moment.

  3. LaFlamme said,

    Do you suppose both baby and boob lady are actors? I mean, did they simply find a photogenic baby and couple him with a woman with just the right teat for the photo?

  4. AO said,

    I agree with MT. I see nothing wrong with this photo. I just wish my ‘boobs’ looked that great while I was nursing my kids!

    And, Mark….’boobage’! ***snort****snicker***

  5. Linda said,

    Happy vacation, Mark!

  6. Mainetarr said,

    I wish my boobs were that big. I can’t imagine them being actors. Just look in the sweet baby’s eyes and you can see the love for his mommy in there. Either that, or she’s producing chocolate milk.

  7. AO said,

    No you don’t, MT.

  8. Friendly Buddhist said,

    Boob Haiku

    Chocolate milk boobs
    Ahhh, the only thing better
    Stout and pizza boobs

  9. Gil said,

    From a bad 80’s movie “My Chaffeur”

    O’Brien: Damn it, man, what are you so hot and bothered about? Afraid she’ll open her jacket and flash her titties at you? You couldn’t handle that, could you?
    Jenkins: I’ve seen enough titties in my time.
    Moses: I haven’t.
    Fourth Chauffeur: Been a hundred years since I seen a good titty.
    Moses: No such thing as a bad titty.
    Jenkins: Goddamn it. There now. That’s my point. The little bimbo hasn’t been here an hour and all you hormone graveyards can talk about is nipples.
    Moses: Didn’t mention nipples.
    Fourth Chauffeur: We was speaking of the titty as a whole.

  10. "The Weasel" said,

    How bout another thilling guest blog from K2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  11. Cynthia said,

    LOL. You know, I never use that acronym. Today is the exception!

  12. LaFlamme said,

    Chocolate milk boobies? Beer and pizza boobies? Brilliant!

  13. Linda said,

    Why not Allens, Mark? If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.

  14. Bobbie said,

    And Mark would be permanently connected to drink all day.

  15. LaFlamme said,

    Ha! Classic. Allen’s boobs. There are some people downtown who drink so much of the stuff, they probably DO lactate coffee brandy.

  16. jarheaddoc said,

    Okay, Linda, if that baby is a boy, and his mother’s boobs still look like that when he’s older, I can see why incest would occur.

    Ya know, this is a classic case of man getting away from nature for the sake of money. boobs have been made to be objects to get a buck out of a bastard at a strip joint and it’s ‘only the lower class who breastfeed these days’ because there’s money in formula and diapers.

    There is nothing sexual at all about that picture. Jesus christ, that woman is spending quality time with her kid and feeding him/her.
    Any woman who has nursed a baby will tell you that it is a huge committment that is well worth the time. Nature put those mammary glands there for a reason: bonding so a child will grow and to put antibodies, from the mother, into the child, so the offspring would survive. Babies don’t grow if they aren’t held and fed.

    I think that woman who doesn’t want her son or husband to see a breast SHE DOESN’T WANT THEM TO SEE eithers needs a good ass fucking with a cactus or psychiatric help for her own issues. Ya know what, lady? You don’t like it, don’t look. I don’t like you, so just leave your money in Kittery and go the fuck back home and try to clean up your toxic beaches instead of banning bear hunting in Maine.

    Yes, it’s hot and parts of me are sticking together! No, I’m not back on my pills! And no, I haven’t cracked open a beer yet!

  17. jarheaddoc said,

    I feel much better now.

  18. Linda said,

    Wow!! what a meltdown. Well said though

    The last thing I want to do is give you any advice jd, but … it’s days like this that underwear really helps keep ones parts from sticking together. I’m just saying. And now I’m done.

  19. Linda said,

    Lots and lots of motorcycles on Rte 2 today. Must be the European motorcycle meet-up thing at Sunday River maybe? Anyone see a Harley with an Australian Motorcycle Club plaque on the back?

  20. jarheaddoc said,

    You were just looking for a lottery winner with a nice ass and you know it, Linda. Just admit it, you will feel better.

  21. Linda said,

    Are you saying the Harley means nothing? I THINK we had established that all three elements were necessary.

    Of course, Powerball could fund a Harley, so … OK, you’re right, I admit it.

  22. Linda said,

    I spent the five hottest hours of the day someplace cool. I actually got up from my chair to find a warmer shirt. How lucky is that?

  23. jarheaddoc said,

    Well, I feel better, anyways.

    I finally beat that goddam outboard motor into submission and it’s now running like a champ. Would someone please remind me not to take something apart the next time I get a wild hair up my ass?

  24. jarheaddoc said,

    It cooled off here after a ten second rain shower, just enough to wet the skylights. I fired up that old outboard and cleared out most of the bugs around the house

  25. jarheaddoc said,

    I am now drinking an ice cold beer and eating sausage hot off the grill.

  26. AO said,

    Just got home from my ‘parties’. But, I only hit one. Man…I MUST be getting old. One was enough for me. Well, at least for today. Oh, on a side note: I spent some time with one of Mark’s co-workers. We had a lovely chat about him! This person also thinks he looks like “Blossom”.

  27. Linda said,

    The motor? That’s great, congratulations.

    You know damn well you’ll take something apart next chance you get though, no matter what we say.

  28. jarheaddoc said,

    Where is MT tonight? I am in the mood to bre knuckle brawl with the asshat and she pulls a no show on me. bitch.

  29. AO said,

    JD, It’s about GD time you started drinking! I just went back and read your meltdown. Ha. I would have sworn you were ‘drankin’ then. But…good meltdown if I do say so myself.

  30. Linda said,

    Hi AO, better one good party than a couple of mediocre ones. Confucius say. I went to one good one, drank quite a lot of beer, got windburned, and laughed a lot.

  31. jarheaddoc said,

    You’re right, Linda. I will take something apart just to see what’s inside of it. I’ve been that way since I was a younger kid (now I’m just an older one with a job!) and it always drove my father crazy. I would always have parts left over and it would run ‘almost as good as it did before’

  32. Linda said,

    jarheaddoc, you’ll probably run like a hare when she turns up, so go ahead with the bombast while the coast is still clear

  33. jarheaddoc said,

    Crap like that drives me crazy, AO. Personally, I will look, just on the chance I will see a boob, as Mark said, but a certain amount of modesty is needed, too. Those slings that cover everything are excellent. And why can’t a woman nurse a baby in public is she can yard the kid’s diaper off and wipe the poop off the kid’s butt? I like boobs, for sure, but poop in public?

  34. Linda said,

    jd, I have a nephew like that, when he was little you always had to wear shoes at their house because the shag carpet was full of little wheels and gears. There was never a toy truck or small appliance that was safe at their house.

    Now he’s a massage therapist. I can’t figure that out. But he’s great. Last month his dog was about to chase a rabbit, and instead of telling the dog to stay, he hollered, Run, rabbit! we laughed our asses off.

  35. jarheaddoc said,

    I like to root for the wild hare in those nature movies, where the leopard is chasing them. Unfortuantely, the leopard seems to win an awful lot. guess it sucks to be the rabbit.

    But you know something, I have never, ever, ever! seen those dogs at the track catch that little fucking rabbit on the rail. Now would someone mind explaining that to me?

  36. Linda said,

    Better hope that when MT gets here, she’ll be the greyhound and not the leopard.

  37. jarheaddoc said,

    Okay, so that would make me the small furry animal that doesn’t get away, huh? Ain’t skeered a’t’all

  38. jarheaddoc said,

    Telling that rabbit to run is akin to telling a suicidal person to jump, isn’t it?

  39. Linda said,

    I think he thought there was a better chance of the rabbit getting away than of the dog minding him. Which was definitely true.

    BTW if I’m not mistaken, Bugs Bunny’ birthday was earlier this week.

  40. Mainetarr said,

    The only thing furry on you is your ass, JD. And another thing, if you ever do see a greyhound catch the rabbit, he will never race again. Most rabbits today are on an electronic eye mechanism, if a dog gets too close, it will speed up. The rabbit at Seabrook is named Yankee. Many many years ago, when they only went one speed, I saw a dog catch Yankee. That was it, his career was over. Once they figure out it’s not real, they lost the curiosity to chase it. I don’t know much, but I know racing-dogs and horses, that is.

  41. AO said,

    MT…too much info on JD’s ass.

  42. Linda said,

    It’s going to be an interesting week, that’s all I can say

  43. Mainetarr said,

    very interesting…

  44. Linda said,

    I just saw the worst underwear in the world on Pants Off Dance Off. The guy said he got them from a cereal box. whatever he meant by that. MT, hope we are going to see better than that while you are in power

  45. AO said,

    Ahh…It’s going to be ‘business as usual’.

    So, Mark, has ‘Blossom’ shown up on your desk at work?

  46. mainetarr said,

    Actually, this is MT. I have pirated my way onto the blog under Flamers name. I think he is at the drive in. I have a few blogs lined up. If anyone has any suggestions, let em rip, I am all ears.

  47. AO said,

    I have a suggestion. Let’s do a whole blog on men with tight buns. Sound good? I’ll help you write it! And, maybe Treehugger and Weasel will pose for a few pics wearing their leather chaps!

  48. Dave said,

    Seeing as its the topic of this thread, I’m curious if any of you have heard of the term “titty boob”. It was used in Rumford-Mexico Maine in the late 80’s to describe something easy.

    For example, “Getting an “A” in that class was titty-boob”.

    Just a regional anomaly, or common usage? I’ve never heard it anyplace else.

  49. Mainetarr said,

    Actually, I am heading to bed. Have a good night and a nice Sunday you guys.

  50. AO said,

    What drive-in? And, what’s he watching? Man, I haven’t been to the drive-in in…20 some odd years. SIGH…the good ol’ days. PJ’s, pillows and blankets in the back of a station wagon. Those were good days.

  51. Linda said,

    Next week’s gonna be a bunfight on the blog!

    Interesting expression Dave, I never heard it before.

  52. Linda said,

    A few of my very worst dating memories are from drive-ins, AO. I wouldn’t go near one.

  53. AO said,

    Nope, sorry, never heard of “titty-boob”, Dave. But, I think it’s very creative. “So, how’d you do in Alge’bra’? “Dude, I scored a ‘titty-boob’!

  54. AO said,

    Yeah, Linda, I had a few horrible dates at drive-ins, also. But, I still love the memories of going when I was a kid.

  55. Martha said,

    Actually, I think that’s a great picture.
    I’ve just finished a whole week of blogs. I don’t dare to read at work anymore. I’d likely get in trouble if anyone saw some of the recent pictures. In fact twice, I opened the blog this week at work and closed it very quickly.
    With regard to the seasonal blog… Maine winters are why I now live in PA. I understand how you feel completely, Mark.. well, with the exception of your anatomical references.
    K2, don’t flatter yourself.. I wouldn’t waste my time, energy or gas.

  56. LaFlamme said,

    Jaysus, Mainetarr. Remember to use your own name when in control of the blog. It’s very disorienting seeing my name up there when I’ve been away.

  57. LaFlamme said,

    Dave, back in my neighborhood, we used a more simplified version. Something super easy was “tit.” I know a guy around here who still uses the term.

  58. hedonistic said,

    Hahahahah! You folks should check out my “Name That Fetish!” and “Boobies!” posts. A substantial number of my late night visitors find my blog via search engines, looking for pictures of naked breasts.

    Anyhoo, that comment about cacti and butt sex? What jarheaddoc said. I agree wholeheartedly.

  59. Kathy Costello said,

    Google is the best search engine

  60. Terry said,

    that is the most beautiful child along with the most magnificent breast

    i envy him

    yay lactivisim

  61. Terry said,

    hey where can i get this issue pdf version with the photos

  62. Stanley said,

    The image is a problem because humans have such a problem with sex. The breast is there for what the picture shows. Sex is an item we have made into a paradox. an imposabiliy raped up in strange ways.
    Maybe love is an item that an be bought and sold and we don’t like it and tell ourselves such BIG lies and do so so many times its like trying to hear the chirp of a baby bird in the roar of loud thunder. To the woman I say besides you God likes it and it is better for the baby and maybe it will grow up to be better adjusted and not sex twisted. Those who want to pray on the young are not all doing so by sex. Mind games can rip people apart also

  63. said,

    Have you ever thought about publishing an ebook or guest
    authoring on other blogs? I have a blog centered on
    the same ideas you discuss and would really like to have
    you share some stories/information. I know my audience would value your work.
    If you’re even remotely interested, feel free to send me an e-mail.

  64. kredyty bankowe msp said,

    Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on the video to make your
    point. You clearly know what youre talking about, why throw
    away your intelligence on just posting videos to your site when
    you could be giving us something informative to read?

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