Penny for your thoughts

August 7, 2006 at 11:41 pm (Uncategorized)

So, that’s it? A week and I have to come back? Back to the dirty streets, the screaming sirens, the screaming-even-louder editors? From now on, I’m going to ask for month-long vacations. It takes a month to really settle into the slacker mood and then to decompress once its over. It’s all very scientific.

Thanks to Mainetarr for taking over the blog and to everyone else who chipped in. I really expected to find a charred crater when I got back in here, but you people are a self-sufficient bunch. And I didn’t come back with flashy souvenirs, deer ticks or wild tales of the northern woods. Conversely, I was isolated from everything up there, except the big, loud stories of the day. You can’t get away from those no matter how far you travel.

So, for lack of parasitic bugs and manly stories to tell, I’d like to pick your brains on the following headlines. You know me: although aware of the breaking news, I was unable to form opinions of my own while I was up there hunting with my bare hands and saving people from bears and whatnot.

castro.jpg landis.gif gibson.jpg

Mel Gibson goes off on the Jews: is this something Martin Riggs would have done? Do we like him anymore?

Floyd Landis busted twice: any truth to the rumor that he was knocking back shots of Jack Daniels before every race, which boosted his testosterone? Could we forgive him if that was the case? Would this work for people like Dan, who were born without testicles?

Fidel Castro: there are those who believe his recovery is being wildly exaggerated. In fact, he may be dying as we speak. As responsible bloggers, shouldn’t we have a death pool to predict the tenacious leader’s end? I call Oct. 4. Of 2015, I mean. Anyone got a cigar?

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79 Comments

  1. Anonymous said,

    Did you change Dan’s diapers? See his medical records?
    How do you know what he was born with or without?

    oh, well, I guess I was born without testicles too. It’s not so bad, really.

  2. brenda said,

    me too, no testicles at all.

  3. Linda said,

    Mel’s off my list. Who needs it?

    And if we are talking current events, seems like a shame about the Cellar Door.

  4. Mainetarr said,

    I wasn’t there to hear Mel’s remarks, but ever since the Passion of the Christ, Hollywood has been waiting in the lurches for Mel to make a mistake. Now is there chance to crucify him. I have said a lot of crap when I was drunk, so until Mel steps out of rehab and says the same thing all over again, I am not writing him off just yet. I think it’s another case of the media blowing everything waaaayyy out of proportion. Look at Britney Spears driving with her baby in the car on her lap. Do you know how many times I rode in my fathers lap while he was driving? Hell, he used to let me steer. She did it once and DHS was ready to step in and remove the baby. Please, she’s an idiot, yes, but did we need to see pictures 24/7 for a month?

    Fidel Castro…what is he? Like 200 years old by now? That rotten bastard will outlive me and I am 39. I feel bad for the people of Cuba. Look up Asshat in the dictionary, there is Fidel’s picture.

    Floyd Landis, another Asshat. He has “naturally high testosterone” my ass. He’s a doper, throw him the hell out and get someone else in his place. Sorry, you test positive once, you deserve to be retested. That’s why they take TWO samples at the same time, so you don’t have a chance to try to get illegal substances out of your system. He’s a dope and a doper, throw him out.

    Cellar door=punk hangout. Hire cops to work in there and see what happens. Guaranteed, the punks will move to Pub 33, Blue Goose, and all the other dives in town. Then the Blues Club, which is a very nice place, will be cleaned up and the show can go on. Obviously, the owner of the Blues Club bit off his nose to spite his face. Closing the Cellar Door will either move them upstairs or over the bridge. He’d better hope for over the bridge. Why he didn’t hire police to do security is beyond me. Now he only has one bar to worry about, but it didn’t have to come to that.

  5. Gil said,

    Yeah, what she said. Preach it MT!!!

  6. Gil said,

    For a little further enlightenment, an excellent read by Victor Davis Hanson
    http://tinyurl.com/zgxbg

  7. Bobbie said,

    I wonder if Castro ever decided to cash those rent checks that we send him every year for Gitmo, would there be enough money to cover them or would they come back as NSF because that money has been used elsewhere?

  8. jarheaddoc said,

    I could never understand why the government of the United States is still letting Castro promote ‘la revolucion!” Forgive my English keyboard, I can’t get it to spell in Spanish. We outlasted the Russian commies, the chinese Commies are slowly becoming captialists, but we tolerate a two bit holdover just a little over ninety miles from us?

    It’s stupid and a waste of money and time, really. Jesus Christ, we’re normalizing relations with Vietnam and we invaded that country! What the fuck? Castro evidently doesn’t realize how much fucking money he’d have to spend if Americans were playing tourist in his country.

    Floyd Landis is just fucking stupid! The French are still all pissed off at Lance Ar,mstrong’s streak of winning, and he really didn’t have much left in the way of testicels after his cancer! It’s pretty easy to see that any American would be an easier target than some other racer. It’s pretty simple: you gotta pee in the cup, this ain’t baseball, you ain’t Barry Bonds.

    Mel Gibson: so what? He’s got more money than the Catholic Church as it is. Maybe he felt hsi career needed a boost and it was easier and cheaper to do what he did than to make another movie.

    “If it’s got tires or testicles, it is nothing but trouble” -Seen on a shirt worn by a woman.

  9. Jonah said,

    The world is surely coming to an end!
    Stop all this warring and destruction, waste, greed,
    senseless greedy destruction of the planet!
    Stop this drilling all over the Creation for oil & gas, stop fighting & killing for it!
    LIVE in Harmony with each other & All Creation!
    Or die by your own destructive self-fulfilling prophesy and call it “God’s plan”!

    Repent! Stop the war! Save the Earth! Love one another!
    Before you kill yourselves & everything else……

    Read the news, go to church, the message is the same,
    we’re destroying ourselves & blaming it on God’s plan.
    Free will means we CAN choose NOT to bring the Apocalypse!

  10. jarheaddoc said,

    And I thought I was bad when I was drinking and off my pills….

    This is a good place for you to do your bird imitation, Weasel

  11. LaFlamme said,

    I can’t believe they closed down the Cellar Door. It’s a case of cops being weenies. I know I’ve never been to any newsworthy brawls down there. It was no Rock’n Robin’s, where you could count on knives, broken bottles and outright hockey fights in the parking lot.

  12. LaFlamme said,

    And what about pig head guy blaming a cop for bad legal advice. What a yahoo. Syphers is a great cop. I’ll post something on him later.

  13. AO said,

    I can believe they closed it down. That’s just the city of Auburn for you.

    As for the pig head guy, that’s what he is, a pig head. What a loser.

  14. LaFlamme said,

    Looks like I’ll be going down to the Cellar later for the last night. What are the odds that I’ll get outta there by deadline?

  15. AO said,

    When is the deadline? Is it closing tonight?

  16. LaFlamme said,

    Tonight is last call for the Cellar.

  17. AO said,

    Hey, why don’t we all lease it from Paul? We could open our own “Lost Sole”? No douchebags allowed!!

  18. LaFlamme said,

    Now THAT would be cool. And Eric ain’t getting served.

  19. AO said,

    Good. We’ll ban him AND Dan.

  20. LaFlamme said,

    You want head bartender? Mainetarr gets marketing. Weasel and Treehugger bouncers, clearly. I call head barfly! (K2 would have got there if I didn’t call it).

  21. AO said,

    Head bartwench sounds good. But when would I get to enjoy myself? Cripe, I’d be too damn busy serving you and K2 drinks. I’ve been out drankin’ with K2! That boy likes his Heini!

  22. "The Weasel" said,

    Didn’t you mean to name the blog, “PONY for your thoughts”.

  23. LaFlamme said,

    NAY!!!

  24. Bobbie said,

    Mark,
    Got a call from my daughter last night and she’s said that nothing has shown yet. Do I have to sic AO on you?

  25. LaFlamme said,

    I haven’t been horseing around.

  26. Bobbie said,

    BTW-what’s a bartwench? Having a rough day typing, AO? Definitely seems to be going around.

  27. LaFlamme said,

    I believe the Weasel is referring to this in-depth interview with a pair of animal lovers. It’s a feat of journalism, really.
    http://www.ehowa.com/showmovie.shtml?movie=youwishyoucouldunsee.wmv

  28. Linda said,

    Mark, it’s a good thing I recognized that site — definitely NSFW. Was just about to click on it when I realized I’d better not!!!!! I’ve got a living to earn, can’t afford to endanger it with “ehowa” sites while I’m working. a close call

  29. LaFlamme said,

    It’s actually safe. Nothing graphic in there at all. Just an interview.

  30. Linda said,

    Oh, OK. I’ve never noticed anything from that site that was SFW.

    Now that I think about it, better safe than sorry. I’ll wait.

  31. AO said,

    Ha. I meant “barwench”…somethings wrong with my keyboard.

  32. Oopsy said,

    Lined up on the stools we are blue
    as the Blues Club
    changes forever.

  33. jarheaddoc said,

    The closing of any local watering hole is a bunch of shit and straight out of the days of Michael Fucking Chitwood from Portland. I was hoping he’d run for governor, just so I could vote against the ugly bastard.

  34. Sum Ting Wong said,

    Me keyboard no workie too.

  35. Mainetarr said,

    Marketing? I get a shitty job like marketing? Gee, thanks. DO I have to sweep up at the end of the night too?

  36. Bobbie said,

    If you get a shitty job like marketing, MT, I can only imagine the job that I’d end up.

    And Mark, I was referring to the book that is now, what? 8 months overdue to be delivered.

  37. Mainetarr said,

    Booklocker.com, that’s where I have gotten most of the Pink Room copies I have bought. They are fast, too! LOL

  38. Nadine said,

    Hey Mark — did you happen to visit Bee-Jay’s bar in Fort Kent while you were up north? That was my second home during my 4 years at UMFK. Fun place! And cute, “punny” name, heh!

  39. LaFlamme said,

    What th… my last night in the county, I went to Fort Kent. Love it up there. And I was admiring the little bars every here and there. If I remember correctly, I went to a diner just next to Bee Jays. Don’t remember the name of the place. A one namer, like Danny’s or something.

  40. Linda said,

    AO, how about if you and I do the buying for our new watering hole. Wouldn’t you like to introduce me to some of your wine guys and beer guys?

  41. K2 said,

    The last thing this world needs is less bars in it. Fucking Lisbon is a town of 10,000 (toothless) people, and the only bar is Graziano’s airport lounge.

    Granted the Cellar Door should be closed down only because they played the worst hip-hop crap in there, although it beats total death metal — barely.

    But it does go to show that Auburn, once again, has the most incompetent government of any town I’ve ever known.

    LaFlamme, we’ll have to have a drinking contest to see who walks away with the barfly label. It’ll be a steel-cage death match, without the steel cage and the death — of anything other than our livers. Liver is evil. It must be punished.

    Okay, Fidel: Anyone that’s been in power since Eisenhower deserves some respect, even if he is an autocratic thug. Regardless, I still hate Bush/Cheney/Rumsfailed far more than him — I mean, how many bull-shit wars has Fidel started?

    Mel is a bigot, plain and simple. (My god, I sound like Dan/TiA/Jean/Pat.) No way booze turns people into anti-Semites. The old saying, the truth comes out when you’re drunk, applies here. Except it ain’t the real truth, which is: Religion in general has started almost all the wars in this world. And the fact that his father is an holocaust denier, well, is it any surprise sonny boy doesn’t like Hebes?

    As for Landis, I’m no conspiracy theorist, but a French lab? Have the sample tested in Belgium or Spain or something, then maybe I’ll believe the results. He just doesn’t strike me as a doper. Once dose makes no sense. He’d have to be on it for days and days to see a benefit. He’s been totally clean in every other test throughout his career. Even Lance can’t say that.

  42. AO said,

    Great idea, Linda. I’d love to introduce you to my “old” wine and beer guys. SNIFF…I sure do miss them all! Especially (as I called them) my “Two Daves”. Sheesh, those guys were the best in beer!

  43. Bobbie said,

    MT, Booklocker.com would be a solution to the problem that I’m currently experiencing, but Mark promised to SIGN the book (back in July while the kids were here, right, Mark?) and then send it directly to my daughter. Should the pregnant one go on a crying jag and decide to focus on the lack of a particular book, I will not only refer her to you, but to your wife as well, Mark and will definitely post those pictures of you that I had a friend of mine dig out that they have of you from your wild days in Waterville.

  44. AO said,

    Ohh…old pictures of a Wild Blossom? Send ’em on, Bobbie! We’d all love to see them.

  45. K2 said,

    Umm . . . AO, where the hell is my beer?

  46. AO said,

    Come on over, K2, I’ve got this HUGE bottle of Heineken, cork included, just for you.

  47. Linda said,

    AO, just don’t give him the Steinlager by mistake, OK?

  48. AO said,

    Ha. No, it’s safe. I just hope Roch grabs it by mistake. He knows I’m saving it for you. But, he’ll probably grab K2’s Heineken first.

  49. K2 said,

    Steinlager, from! . . . New Zealand. (Chris Berman?)

    I’ve been dragging ass all day. Got home from the Fecktones show in Boston at 3 am. Worth it, though. Natalie McMaster and Del McCoury opened, and there were no set breaks — the music played straight through for over 3 hours. Awesome format for a show. Except for the $8 beers. Oof.

  50. AO said,

    I’ll bet it was a great show! One of the best shows I’ve ever seen in Boston was Charlie Musselwhite. I had to go up to him twice for autographs because my husband and his friend were too star struck to do it themselves. Hey, I even gave him a kiss on the cheek for his troubles.

    What the hell kind of beer did you pay $8 for, K2?

  51. Bobbie said,

    AO,
    The photos that I have are not the general falling down drunk, pants around the ankles picture of Mark-these are much worse than that. Rember, he does have a reputation of being a partying person back in those days. These photos would spoil that image real quick.

  52. K2 said,

    Swill. I think it was Bud. And is there anything worse than the warm, bottom-of the cup dregs of crap beer? Cripes, I almost yacked. So I only had one more. They’re lab rats smarter than me, for sure.

    And then my drunk friend pissed me off, on the way home, to the point that I pulled the car over, got out, went to his door, opened it, and said, Get out, ’cause I’m gonna kick your ass. He went into apolgy mode, so I saved myself an arrest and certain lawsuit.

    I shan’t be hanging with him any time soon, I’ll tell you that much. A sour taste after a great concert, that fuck.

  53. Linda said,

    Uh-oh. I see that Christine is making threats over on her blog.

  54. Mainetarr said,

    Rumor has it K2 eats Silly Puddy. Is it true?

  55. Thaifood Teena said,

    Christine is wasting her breath. She’s a nice lady, but until Eric, that hypocritical bastard, steps up, Asshat Dan will keep insulting everyone. And to take down LAmaine Daves blog, well, that was shitty too. Hey, I can throw an insult as good as the next guy, but not without reason and not to everyone I disagree with. Take tonight, for example. I totally disagree with K2 in post 41, but hey, it’s his opinion, and I respect that. (even if he is wrong! Hahahahahhahahah) I am not going to start calling him names. Fuggin Dan, that douchebag. I wish that spineless bastard would come over here.

  56. Mainetarr said,

    I gotta stop drinking martini’s with the bloggers. Makes me grouchy. LOL

  57. Linda said,

    Grouchy’s OK.

  58. Linda said,

    Is that why I’ve been here alone tonight? Everyone else out drinking martinis? I should have thought of that myself!

  59. Mainetarr said,

    AO, MArk and I were all in my yard, sitting around a fire drinking martini’s. Perfect night for it. It is nice and cool out and the fire was good. Sooooo relaxing.

  60. AO said,

    Speaking of drinking Martinis with bloggers…hey, I was there and…I saw LaFlamme drinking a Cosmo. Fancy glass and all. The first thing he did when he saw me was ..flip his pinky out!! HA!! Got to love it!! Some things never change!!

  61. AO said,

    It was nice until you got that damned fire going so hot that you had sparks flying all over your canopy!! Jay-sus! I think you gonna owe me a new pair of Berk’s for putting those damned things out! 🙂

  62. Mainetarr said,

    The gay accent when he was leaving was pretty funny too.

  63. Mainetarr said,

    Dangnabit, when I log in, it automatically logs me in under Flamer. I bet I just booted him, because I had to hit logout to get my own name in there.

  64. Linda said,

    Good night for being outside — gorgeous moon

  65. AO said,

    Too bad he wasn’t man enough to hit my Jeep with his manly KIA.

  66. AO said,

    Man, I can’t believe what Christine posted for a blog. What a bunch of…is there a name for them?

  67. Linda said,

    BTW Teena, I’m a little annoyed with Eric too right now. The SJ may want to hear from people, but you wouldn’t know it by the response you get. Any other paper or news program I ever sent an email to sent an auto-reply saying thanks for your message. They may do nothing with it but delete it, but at least they were courteous enough to acknowledge that I took the time to write. I had to pry an acknowledgement out of Eric. That pissed me off. I think their “feedback” button is useless decoration.

  68. AO said,

    Linda, It’s all because they suck. Plain and simple. They suck. But, they know that they’re the only game in town so, they do as they please. I think they SHOULD shut down all of their blogs. Wh’s it going to hurt? Us? No. We’re the one’s they miss…most of all. In blog land, they’re grappling.

  69. AO said,

    oop’s !! Still having trouble with my keyboard! Or, it could have something to do with the bag of beer I brought to MT’s tonight.

  70. Linda said,

    Seems like a newspaper ought to be able to do a better job than that with blogs. Do they read any other blogs, to know how it’s supposed to work? But as I say, my main complaint isn’t the blogs. I’m really curious what kind of market research they do.

    However … this probably isn’t the place for my opinions on the SJ either. I guess I could dig a hole in the sand down by the lake and whisper my thoughts into it. The frogs and loons might care.

  71. Linda said,

    “Bag of beer” — that’s funny. Makes me think of the first time I saw a “box of wine.” I thought heaven had arrived on earth.

  72. Robert said,

    Too bad about the Cellar Door, I feel bad for Paul & the crew he’ll have to let go, but come on, if you want that kind of music, just exactly what kind of crowd will you attract?

    Now where will all those “yutes” go? Probably the Goose or maybe Club texas, I heard they were going to open a hip hop night. Lets see, a younger crowd, not much disposable income, hanging at a bar drinking one warm beer all evening to make it last, yeah thats a good way to make abuck.

    On the other hand you have to wonder if the folks at Gritty’s aren’t smiling a little more now, they have patio seating, Paul no longer does, they have a liqour license and Paul’s is almost gone. Wasn’t grity’s welcomed in with open arms by the city? You know some times I just have to wonder whats going on, its become very obvious after watching some of these Auburn city meetings that its a farce, everything is done for show and folks on council have already made up their mind on each subject before the meeting even begins.

    In other news, I’ve been busy but anyone know what happened to Dan/Pat/Jean on the LSJ blog? All that stuff has been pulled?

  73. AO said,

    I hate Gritty’s. The food sucks and, they have no entertainment.

    As for Pat/Jean/Dan/Tia/Colm…I guess he’s been banned once again.

  74. Mainetarr said,

    Since when do you hate Gritty’s? Did I miss something? Should I be boycotting them too? Come on AO fill me in….

  75. K2 said,

    Gritty’s beer is shit, and the food is awful. I’m with you, AO.

  76. K2 said,

    TT, admit it, you’re attracted to liberals. It’s like the homophobes who secretly crave a solid ass fucking.

    Meet me at Shaw’s deli. I’ll spring for the summer sausage.

  77. Linda said,

  78. Herb said,

    Who is TT? Did you mean MT?

  79. K2 said,

    I was joking with Thaifood Tina, Sparky Nut.

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