Stop calling me Shirley

August 10, 2006 at 11:46 pm (Uncategorized)


I hate to fly. And not because I dislike being up in the air in a tube of metal. I quite enjoy that part. I hate to fly because airports suck. They’re noisy, busy and full of regulations I can never keep up with. The lines are awful and the time pressure is huge. And no doubt, it’s going to be worse in coming days thanks to the yahoos who tried to blow up more planes. One thing is for sure: flying sucks and airports suck. But blowing up over the Atlantic is probably a whole lot worse. An appreciative nod to those who prevented it from happening.

We’ve been talking about airplanes in here lately. We don’t tend to get heavy, though, so I thought I’d keep that temperment going. The following are some of my favorite lines from Airplane. It’s the king of the stupid movie and it’s rivaled only by another by the title “Top Secret.” A shiny nickle for anyone who has seen it.

First Jive Dude: Shit man, that honky mus’ be messin’ my old lady… got to be runnin’ cold upside down his head. You know?
Second Jive Dude: Hey home, I can dig it. You know he ain’t gonna lay no mo’ big rap up on you man.
First Jive Dude: I say hey sky, s’other s’ay I wan say?
Second Jive Dude: UH…
First Jive Dude: Pray to J I get the same ol’ same ol’.
Second Jive Dude: Eh. Yo knock yourself a pro slick, gray matter live performas down now take TCB’in man.
First Jive Dude: Hey, you know what they say… See a broad, to get that booty yak ’em. First Jive Dude, Second Jive Dude: Leg ‘er down ‘n smack ’em yak ’em
First Jive Dude: Cold got to be. You know? Shiiiiit.

Ted Striker: My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We’re bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 1800 hours. We’re coming in from the north, below their radar.
Elaine Dickinson: When will you be back?
Ted Striker: I can’t tell you that. It’s classified.

Rumack: You’d better tell the Captain we’ve got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
Elaine Dickinson: A hospital? What is it?
Rumack: It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now.

Rex Kramer: Striker, listen, and you listen close: flying a plane is no different than riding a bicycle, just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.

Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.

Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking.

Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines

[Hanging Lady: Nervous?
Ted Striker: Yes.
Hanging Lady: First time?
Ted Striker: No, I’ve been nervous lots of times.

Elaine Dickinson: There’s no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you’ll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?

Ted Striker: Surely you can’t be serious.
Rumack: I am serious… and don’t call me Shirley.

Elaine Dickinson: You got a letter from headquarters this morning.
Ted Striker: What is it?
Elaine Dickinson: It’s a big building where generals meet, but that’s not important.

Rumack: Captain, how soon can you land?
Captain Oveur: I can’t tell.
Rumack: You can tell me. I’m a doctor.
Captain Oveur: No. I mean I’m just not sure.
Rumack: Well, can’t you take a guess?
Captain Oveur: Well, not for another two hours.
Rumack: You can’t take a guess for another two hours?

Captain Oveur: You ever been in a cockpit before?
Joey: No sir, I’ve never been up in a plane before.
Captain Oveur: You ever seen a grown man naked?

Ted Striker: I flew single engine fighters in the Air Force, but this plane has four engines. It’s an entirely different kind of flying altogether.
Rumack, Randy: [together] It’s an entirely different kind of flying.

Rumack: What was it we had for dinner tonight?
Elaine Dickinson: Well, we had a choice of steak or fish.
Rumack: Yes, yes, I remember, I had lasagna.

Hanging Lady: No wonder you’re upset. She’s lovely. And a darling figure… supple, pouting breasts… firm thighs. It’s a shame you two don’t get along.

Captain Oveur: [Captain Oveur is in the middle of a phone call with the Mayo Clinic when an operator tells him that there’s an emergency call on Line 5 from Mr. Hamm] All right, get me Hamm on five; hold the Mayo.

Young Boy with Coffee: Excuse me, I happened to be passing, and I thought you might like some coffee.
Little Girl: Oh, that’s very nice of you, thank you.
Young Boy with Coffee: Cream?
Little Girl: No, thank you, I take it black, like my men.

Rex Kramer: Do you know what it’s like to fall in the mud and get kicked… in the head… with an iron boot? Of course you don’t, no one does. It never happens. It’s a dumb question… skip it.

Rumack: Mr. Striker, the passengers are getting worse. You must land soon.
Ted Striker: Surely there must be something you can do.
Rumack: I’m doing everything I can… and stop calling me Shirley.

Ted Striker: No dice, Chicago. I’m giving the orders and we’re coming in. I guess the foot’s on the other hand now, isn’t it Kramer?

Newspaper Headline: Boy trapped in refrigerator eats own foot.



  1. AO said,

    Haaa….this has to be one of my favorite parts of the movie! Well, this and the part with sweet Harriet Nelson. Are those lines in here? Did I miss them? Was it in Airplane 2? Airplane 3? 4? 5? I don’t remember. I just loved seeing her “jive talking”.

    Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.

    Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking.

    Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

    Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines


  2. Bobbie said,

    I’ve seen “Top Secret”. Always did like the little German in the corner. The theater scenes were hilarious.

  3. LaFlamme said,

    Wow. Damn, Bobbie. I figured none of you had seen it. Except maybe K2. I think he steals movies from my personal collection when I’m not working.

  4. LaFlamme said,

    Before I say any more, I would like to ask the Red Sox fans in the group this question: what common household chore do you perform to clean a floor that is filthy with debris and clutter?

  5. LaFlamme said,

    Answer in just a moment. A little Jeopardy music? *doo DEE doo doo, doo DEE doo. Doo dee DOO, da doo dee dee dee…*

  6. LaFlamme said,


  7. LaFlamme said,

    Ha ha! Suckers!

  8. AO said,

    I think we should change your nickname from Flamer to Lamer.

  9. LaFlamme said,

    Or you could take to calling me Ryan Shealy, who hit the go ahead run to put KC on top for good in the bottom of the eighth. After they came back from a 4-2 deficit.
    Christ, I feel obnoxious. This was my world series.

  10. AO said,

    Enjoy it while you can. It’s probably the only one you’ll ever see! You DO know why the Royals won tongiht, don’t ya? It’s only because of the full moon! Little known fact: the days immediately before and after a full moon see a dramatic rise in strange human behavior. See? Case solved! Royal’s still suck. Tell Baril! He’ll feel so much better.

  11. LaFlamme said,

    The victory gave the Royals, the worst team in the majors, a three-game sweep and sent the Red Sox to their fifth straight loss. Even the normally light-hitting Royals, who are pace for their third 100-loss season in four years, were bemused.
    “It’s strange,” said a grinning Mark Teahen. “But when you’re a team full of power hitters, that happens,” he said with a smile. “And you have to give it to that LaFlamme guy, up in Maine. Now there’s a guy who believes. There’s a fan with integrity. I think we can all learn something from a guy like that.”

  12. LaFlamme said,

    The last time the Royals swept the Red Sox in Kansas City, Flamette was a junior in high school. I, on the other hand, was very drunk in a motel somewhere. But that’s irrelevant! I resent that you even brought it up!

  13. AO said,

    Ha!! Shirley, you jest.

  14. LaFlamme said,

    I hope you will all forgive my voice. It’s been a while. Gosh, I don’t even know if I remember the words. Anyway, it goes something like this:

  15. LaFlamme said,

    “Nah na na na… Nah na NAH NAH… HEY, HEY, HEY… GOOOODBYE… LOSERS.
    (I ad libbed that last part).

  16. AO said,

    Obviously, you don’t remember the words.

  17. Linda said,

    AO — you sure were up late!! Lucky you.

    Mark, go ahead and gloat. We Sox fans get what we need from our team. Sure it says something about our personalities, but what’s a character flaw or two among blogging buddies? It’s a short trip from pleasure to pain and back again

  18. Bobbie said,

    And Mark enjoys every inch of it too, especially the pain.

  19. jarheaddoc said,

    Mark is like that guy in the ‘Junk Food Junkie’ song: he touts the Royals, but he’s secretly watching the Red Sox in the closet. We all have our dirty little secrets, don’t we?

  20. Bobbie said,

    Mark seems to have more than the rest of us combined.

  21. AO said,

    I WAS up late, Linda. I still can’t figure out why. Way past my bedtime!

  22. Linda said,

    I see that the writers of “Airplane!” and “Top Secret” also wrote Naked Gun, and possibly wrote or produced “Ruthless People”? (my research from work is impeded by big red triangles saying ACCESS DENIED! which is pretty odd since I still get email saying things like “do you want to give your girl a … ” you make up the rest).

    Anyhow, I never saw “Top Secret”, sounds like I should, but I loved the rest of them.

  23. Brenda said,

    na na NA NA – I was up later, reading, but didn’t have anything to say except I think that IS the words to the song. hey HEY hey, goo-oodbye!

  24. LaFlamme said,

    Alright, I’m down from my sweep delirium. Were we talking about airline travel? What do you suppose is happening to all the lipstick and perfume and shampoo being dumped into airport cannisters?

  25. AO said,

    You’re down already? That was pretty short lived.

  26. Bulldog said,

    Hey, pinkie flippin’ flame boy, eat my shorts! (well, if I wore them, I’d stuff ’em down your throat!)

    And, I guess no one caught your #11 post:
    “It’s strange,” said a grinning Mark Teahen. “But when you’re a team full of power hitters, that happens,” he said with a smile. “And you have to give it to that LaFlamme guy, up in Maine. Now there’s a guy who believes. There’s a fan with integrity. I think we can all learn something from a guy like that.”
    Who the hell is Mark Teahen? And, how much did you pay him to say your name?

  27. AO said,

    Flammer? Integrity? Nah.

  28. Bulldog said,

    OK, back to the topic at hand:

    Airplane is, by far, the most stupidest movie and should only be watched when drunk/high/etc. That’s the only way I watch it. I guess that’s probably why I like it.

    As for traveling in planes: if I’m gonna go, that’s the way I want to go. The agony of knowing you’re gonna die sucks but at least it’s quick. I don’t mind flying. I’ve done it too many times to count. I just hate waiting and waiting and waiting…….

  29. LaFlamme said,

    Teahan hit in one of the key runs in last nights RALLY in the eighth inning. Nice of him to give me the nod. You know, there aren’t many Royals fans brave enough to predict a sweep over the Sox. And now, to collect from all the secret bets I made with you people…

  30. AO said,

    All right! All right! I’ll get you your damned KHAT. Now, leave me alone!

  31. LaFlamme said,

    Excellent! And I want the high grade stuff this time, none of that homegrown khat you dealt me last time.

  32. Bulldog said,

    And he really said that about you? He doesn’t know you very well if he links you with the word itegrity… maybe stupidity would have been better.

  33. LaFlamme said,

    Ha! I’m pretty sure Mark Teahan has never heard the name Mark LaFlamme. If he had, he surely would have used the terms “confused and misguided” in a quote.

  34. AO said,

    Complain, complain, complain. You’ll take what I give you and be “happy” about it.

  35. LaFlamme said,

    True, true. It will be good to chew my stimulants rather than running to Dunkin Donuts every half hour.

  36. AO said,

    Why don’t you just run an IV line from Dunkin Donuts to your office? Might save on time and gas.

  37. LaFlamme said,

    Ah, I had a problem with permits. Stupid Bennett and his city ordinances.

  38. AO said,

    Maybe if you run it underground? Who’d know?

  39. LaFlamme said,

    I can’t afford that kind of project. All my capital is tied up in the giant pipeline to the Allen’s distillery.

  40. Montana Passion Thighs said,

    1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new
    first name:

    a = Fantasia
    b = Chesty
    c = Starr
    d = Diamond
    e = Montana
    f = Angel
    g = Sugar
    h = Mimi
    i = Lola
    j =Kitty
    k = Roxie
    l = Dallas
    m = Princess
    n = Heidi
    o = Bambi
    p = Bunny
    q = Brandy
    r = Sugar
    s = Candy
    t = Raquelle
    u = Sapphire
    v = Cinnamon
    w = Blaze
    x = Trixie
    y = Isis
    z = Jade

    2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first
    half of your new last name:

    a = Leather
    b = Dream
    c = Sunny
    d = Deep
    e = Heaven
    f = Tight
    g = Shimmer
    h = Velvet
    i = Lusty
    j = Harley
    k = Passion
    l = Dazzle
    m = Dixon
    n = Spank
    o = Glitter
    p = Razor
    q = Meadow
    r = Glitz
    s = Sparkle
    t = Sweet
    u = Silver
    v = Tickle
    w = Cherry
    x = Hard
    y = Night
    z = Amber

    3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second
    half of your new last name:

    a = hooter
    b = horn
    c = tower
    d = fire
    e = thighs
    f = hips
    g = side
    h = jugs
    i = shock
    j = cocker
    k = brook
    l = tush
    m = sizzle
    n = ridge
    o = kiss
    p = bomb
    q = cream
    r = thong
    s = heat
    t = whip
    u = cheeks
    v = rock
    w = hiney
    x = button
    y = lick
    z = juice

  41. Jade Glitter Cheeks said,

    I think perhaps I am in the wrong profession…….

  42. LaFlamme said,

    Excellent. Call me Sugar Leather Hips. I think it’s appropriate. Somehow.

  43. LaFlamme said,

  44. Heidi Glitz Kiss said,

    And who would have thought that a Bulldog would have a glitz kiss?

  45. Mainetarr said,

    I am Lola Leather Thong.

  46. Mainetarr said,

    Weasel-Raquelle Leather Heat
    Herb-Sugar Leather Tower
    Treehugger-Bambi Dazzle Shock
    Chunder-Heidi Glitter Dream
    K2-Sugar Silver Tower

    What a bunch!! Sounds like the makings of a porn movie to me. LOL

  47. Bulldog said,

    I thought we were done with the gloating Flamer.

  48. Mainetarr said,

    Leather Heat? Shouldn’t it be leather chaps, Weasel?

  49. Mainetarr said,

    He will be gloating until Christmas Bulldog.

  50. AO said,

    Just call me, Montana Glitter Cheeks. Hmm…last time I checked there was no glitter on them.

  51. Montana Passion Thighs said,

    gesundheit, Sugar Leather Hips

  52. Montana Passion Thighs said,

    I guess Mainetarr knows & is going by people’s real names? Because Blumpkin would be Sapphire, not Montana–?

  53. Montana Passion Thighs said,

    Sugar Leather Tower, & Sugar Silver Tower, hmmm… sweets!
    sweet spanky —–>~
    sweet & shiney —–>~

  54. Mile High Club said,

    Back in the sixties or seventies, there was a book – “Fear of Flying”- it was considered neurotic or abnormal to be afraid to fly & people would go to therapy to face the fear, get meds, join the Mile High Club, whatever it takes, but today, on the news, the attitude is different. They have some expert saying that it is rational to be nervous to fly. Duh!

    I joined the Mile High Club when I was 16, back in teh seventies, but I didn’t know there was a Mile High Club, I was just a hi schooler who was horny & the chaperones didn’t see what was going on under that blanket during the movie.

  55. Linda said,

    “Men and women, women and men. It will never work.” — Erica Jong, author of “Fear of Flying”, 1973

  56. AO said,

    Ah…Erica Jong. A strong voice among women. She was right, it will NEVER work! Ha.

    Did anybody see the Encore section of the Sun Urinal today? The Maine State Music Theater is putting on “The Full Monty”. I wonder if the actor’s are gonna ‘take it all off’? If so, I think I’ll pass. Of all the guys in the photos there was maybe one that I wouldn’t mind seeing naked. The rest well, like I said, I’ll pass.

  57. LaFlamme said,

    Ah, the Mile High Club. Does it count if you’re on a bus riding up a really tall mountain? Ah, I got nuthin.

  58. AO said,

    I think it does count. But, only if your going up a mile high mountain.

  59. Linda said,

    I saw those photos too, AO. The only thing I have to say about it is — I saw “The Full Monty” live, and enjoyment of the show probably depends more on the enthusiasm of the performers than on their physical characteristics.

  60. AO said,

    But, did they get nekked?

  61. Linda said,

    Totally. No kidding. It was a small theater and I can say with perfect confidence that they were naked.

  62. jarheaddoc said,

    Isis Heaven thighs. Who the fuck makes up these things? And why the hell do we answer them?!

  63. AO said,

    JD, what the fluck are you talking about?

  64. Linda said,

    Ha! what’s up, AO?

  65. AO said,

    Nothing is up. I’m just wondering what JD was talking about. Did I miss something?

  66. Linda said,

    Isn’t he talking about the “3rd letter of your name” etc game?

  67. AO said,

    Okay, mystery solved. I just scrolled back through the posts and realized that he was talking about Montana Passion Thighs post. Long day. Sorry!

  68. LaFlamme said,

    Jarhead cracks me up. He comes in screaming, like Al Bundy after a hard day at work.

  69. Linda said,

    AO that’s all right. We all know it’s just ’cause you stayed up so late last night.

  70. Linda said,

    Yes Mark, and then he’s … gone.

  71. LaFlamme said,

    Al Bundy: “A fat woman came in to the shoe shop today…”
    Archie Bunker: “You know what the problem is with the world today?”
    Jarhead: “Isis Heaven thighs. Who the fuck makes up these things? And why the hell do we answer them?!”

  72. AO said,

    I DID stay up late. Don’t know what came over me. Must have been the moon. Who knows. I know it wasn’t the “Nick at Nite” line up.

  73. AO said,

    Maybe JarHead needs to go see Al Bundy for a new pair of shoes. They may be too tight. Or, maybe he just needs to sit back on the couch, loosen his belt and slide his hand down his crotch. It seemed to work for Al.

  74. Linda said,

    Or, he needs to tinker with wood or machine parts for a while. That seems to put him in a good mood, i think.

    Or he could blog with us, let off steam, let us abuse him a little … his possibilities are endless.

  75. LaFlamme said,

    I think he’s fine just the way he is. It IS the Screaming Room, after all.

  76. jarheaddoc said,

    No, Al was a back door man man, and he tried to impress this upon his son, with words to the effect of “Going down the back is way too underrated.”

    Gotta pop out again. anyone figure out who I am yet? I’m imitating that nut that kept popping in and out in Airplane. Or better yet, I’m the guy from MASH that fell asleep while playing cards, four aces in hand, only to wake up two hours later and realize all of his money was gone.

  77. LaFlamme said,

    Okay, you people were right. Jarhead’s sniffing glue.

  78. AO said,

    Yeah, he is. And, speaking of glue sniffin. Where the hell is our bong lover? K2, where are you?

  79. Linda said,

    Mark, I came across a good word today & you can have first dibs, if you like it, to make up for your loss of “autoclave”. Here it comes.

    \Ass”ish\, a. Resembling an ass; asinine; stupid or obstinate

    What do you think? am I too late, is it already part of your repertoire? or maybe you don’t care for it?

  80. LaFlamme said,

    I like it. I like it alot. The beauty of assish is that’s it’s very difficult to say, very easy to write.

  81. AO said,

    Oh, Mark, don’t be so assish. It’s very easy to say.

  82. Linda said,

    What I meant to say was, Mark, I came across a good word today & thought of you. Sometimes after a hard day at work I’m too mellow for my own good.

  83. Montana Passion Thighs said,

    Isis Heaven Thighs! I love you, come here! Let’s get screamey & assish!

  84. jarheaddoc said,

    And then we can go autoclave the evidence away!

  85. Linda said,

    See? First pleasure, then pain. Sox fans.

  86. jarheaddoc said,

    Ah, how I have missed the warmth of being on the hot seat. Please, turn up the flames

  87. Bobbie said,

    Try being chesty glitter horn. About the only one that applies to me is the chesty part.

  88. AO said,

    JD, you couldn’t handle it.

  89. Bobbie said,

    And the bad thing is I get to be the same thing no matter which name I use!

  90. jarheaddoc said,

    Oh, that sounds like the words of a coward, AO. Wassamatta, ‘fraid I might fart and start a fire with the flame?

  91. jarheaddoc said,

    And on that note, I must leave for a while, as there are wood chips to be made and inanimate objects in need of a good whack with the Big Goddam Hammer of Frus-fucking-Stration!

  92. Mainetarr said,

    He used to eat paste in elementary school too. I have pictures.

  93. Mainetarr said,

    Jarheaddoc, that is. Holy crap, I was posting an answer to 77. I am slacking tonight.

  94. AO said,

    Christ, JD, I’m no coward! I’m married to a man that could light a bon-fire with his farts.

  95. AO said,

    Ha…he’s outside doing that right now! Mark, ya gonna come help him out?

  96. Bobbie said,

    I’ll send you some assistance long distance, AO. Believe me, my husband’s wouldn’t lose any potency traveling there!

  97. Linda said,

    Is anyone listening to The Colbert Report? too freakin funny — talking about “hemp”

  98. Bulldog said,

    I’m still stuck on the mile high comment. Funny, that subject came UP today.

  99. Bulldog said,

    I just came in from having a lovely fire outside. I could have used your “man” AO in the beginning. We had a little rain here today and things were wet but as usual, I got things fired up.

  100. Bobbie said,

    Leave it to you to get things fired up, Bulldog.

  101. Bulldog said,

    HEY! SOMEONE IS IN HERE BESIDES ME! Sorry, I didn’t mean to Scream, although as Mr. Flame Boy stated, this IS the Screaming Room.

    Where the hell is all the party animals tonight????

  102. Nadine said,

    HA! I’m “Diamond Leather Heat”

    Went to see World Trade Center today — ALONE!! Good movie, and yes, I cried. You all talk about movies so much, last movie I saw in a theater before today was The Crow!!!

    K2 needs a bong?? I couldn’t find a Heineken one, but I can show you how to make one!


  103. AO said,

    Well, I would have been here but, this site was not accessible. We did have a good fire. But, now I smell like…wood. GACK! about those Red Sox’s??

  104. LaFlamme said,

    Hey, Nadine. Nick Cage is in that flick, isn’t he? Love that Nick Cage. In a perfectly heterosexual way, I mean.

  105. AO said,

    Wow. I can’t belive you went to see it alone, Nadine. Very brave. I don’t even want to see it in a group of twenty.

  106. LaFlamme said,

    I’ll come with you, AO. I’ll even hold your hand.

  107. Bulldog said,

    I would like to see that movie but I’ll wait until it comes out on DVD. Gotta be able to pack the bong, smoke the cigs and have a dink… oops, I meant drink.

  108. Bulldog said,

    flamer. you fag.

  109. Bulldog said,

    AO, it’s about flucken time you get here! Where the fluck have you been?!!! And High to you Nadine!

  110. LaFlamme said,

    Wow. Anyone notice how nicely Bulldog fills in for the Weasel? I don’t think I’ve been called a fag all day. A bastard, a loser and an assish peckerwood, sure. But not a fag.

  111. Bulldog said,

    hey, you said you loved Nick Cage. Nevermind that you called him Nick instead of Nicholas (as he likes to go by). You deserved the “fag” comment. flamer

  112. LaFlamme said,

    Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. In reviewing the matter, the “Nick” thing is a little over the top. I had that coming. Thanks for setting me straight. Now take your shirt off.

  113. Bulldog said,

    It’s a little cold to be taking my shirt off tonight sweetie. My nipples are sticking out as it is. Who will keep them warm for me???

  114. Linda said,

    So what’s the deal Mark, did he tell you not to call him “Nick” in public?

  115. LaFlamme said,


  116. Linda said,

    OMG it’s a bad dream — the blog is being censored! A nightmare, really!

  117. Bulldog said,

    I guess no one really gives a shit that I’m freezing my nipples off

  118. Bulldog said,

    a little frustrated tonight Flame Boy? Censor me. Go ahead. I dare you.

  119. LaFlamme said,

    What? Since when did we get a big brother in here? Those mother CENSORED CENSORED MATERIAL CENSORED CENSORED MATERIAL CENSORED CENSORED MATERIAL eating bastards!

  120. LaFlamme said,

    Just kidding. We’ll never have censors in here. Not as long as I have the CENSORED to stand up for our rights.

  121. Linda said,

    Bulldog, you trying to light another fire?

  122. LaFlamme said,

    You could try rubbing them together, Bulldog. That might help.

  123. Linda said,

    speaking of movies — as I’m sure we must have been at some recent point in time — I’m getting excited about “Snakes On A Plane.” Sounds like all my nightmares in one package. Who could resist?

  124. LaFlamme said,

    Dammit, she does it to me every time. Hauls me down into the gutter. And I’m such a well-mannered boy, normally.

  125. Bulldog said,

    well-mannered, my ass. And I tried rubbing them together. didn’t work. There was just a spark and then it fizzled. But there’s alot of smoke!

  126. Linda said,

    Don’t be assish, we aren’t going to buy that.

  127. Bulldog said,

    Thank you Linda. I knew I could get “support” from you!

  128. Linda said,

    Bulldog, obviously #126 was directed at Mark. Gender solidarity — I’d hardly blame you instead of hiim for any trouble

  129. Bobbie said,

    If she packages it just right, I’m sure that you guys will buy just about anything!

  130. LaFlamme said,

    Well, gosh. Now I just feel teamed up on. Please. Keep going.

  131. Bobbie said,

    Of course you’d want us to do that, Mark. You enjoy it SOOOOOOO much!

  132. Linda said,

    Hi Bobbie what’s goin on there?

  133. Bulldog said,

    Linda- I KNEW that! Who else would we blame? And Bobbie, I thought you were going to bed (look who’s calling the kettle black!)

  134. Linda said,

    Mark, “teamed up on” — sounds like roller derby. You do skate??

  135. Bobbie said,

    I was just going to ask you the same thing, Bulldog. What’s your excuse?

  136. Bobbie said,

    Not much. The guys are watching the Atlantis version of Stargate right now.

  137. Bulldog said,

    Well, ummm, I have none. nothing. nada. I get sucked in very easily. (Mark, get your mind out of the gutter)

  138. LaFlamme said,

    Oh, no! Now there are MORE women! And it’s just me! I feel so trapped!

  139. Bobbie said,

    Give us a break, Mark. You know you enjoy it when there’s more women in here then men.

  140. Linda said,

    Aren’t there always? well, almost always?

  141. Bobbie said,

    My excuse was/is that I was just checking to see if anyone was still here. I was going to wish everyone a good night, but since there are people up, I might as well chat.

  142. Bobbie said,

    That’s usually the case, Linda. Do we recruit more men to the blog or do we leave as is?

  143. Linda said,

    I’m still up because I like this time of day. also I spent two hours on the phone with a friend, one hour arguing and one hour making up. The usual split for us

  144. Bulldog said,

    OK, that’s my excuse too. Besides, it’s been a while since I’ve had the joyful opportunity to give the flamer a hard time. I love to do that (as well as he likes to get it- even though he whines)

  145. Bobbie said,

    The guy from Boston?

    Thanks guys, got the cowboy message twice-hurry up and post! LOL

  146. Linda said,

    It’s in the lap of the gods, Bobbie.

  147. Bobbie said,

    The whining is the hardest part to deal with when Mark is on the receiving end of things.

  148. Bulldog said,

    Now Flamer is complaining that there’s more women in here. There’s proof enough to me that he’s a fag. Flamer- that name fits you so well.

  149. Bobbie said,

    OK, I can understand that.

  150. Linda said,

    Yes, him.

    I’m having a hell of a time posting here, it’s going slow.

  151. Bobbie said,

    In that context, I can see that, Bulldog.

  152. LaFlamme said,

    I’m just very sensitive, is all… I mean, heck. Everyone knows that.

  153. LaFlamme said,

    I wonder what the male-female ration really is around here. I think it’s fairly even population wise. As far as frequency, the women probably post more. And I think that’s keen. I’m a very enlightened male.

  154. Bobbie said,

    I know that feeling as well, Linda.

    Sensitive, my ass, Mark. Try again.

  155. Linda said,

    That’s right, who’d think he’d whine like that? I think I’m gonna write a letter complaining about it. I’ll sign it “Intimidating in Wilton.”

  156. Bobbie said,

    I have no idea why that would be, Mark. You do tend to end up being the only guy here after a certain time.

  157. Bobbie said,

    Maybe he whines like that thinking that it will make him look good instead of just wimpy all the time.

    Good idea, Linda.

  158. Linda said,

    Now Mark, I’ve really been holding back with this because it just sounds mean, and, well, i don’t mean it to be mean, I’m just asking.

    When they named your new b section, did they decide that you guys collectively would be called “the b team”? Because if that’s what the powers that “be” over there were thinking, well that sucks and you ought to tell them I said so. (I would tell them myself but they don’t answer unless I harangue them about it)

    Seriously, I mean all that in the nicest possible way

  159. Linda said,

    I think we lost Bulldog. And I may have to slope off too.

  160. Bulldog said,

    Sensitive? The only sensitive thing on you is your balls. I’m with Bobbie on that. As far as being enlightened- OK, I’ll give you that. But that’s as nice as I’m getting

  161. Bobbie said,

    I was wondering about that myself. Someone else did mention that they should have called it the “c” section instead.

    The bad thing is that that play on words would have gone over most peoples heads.

  162. Linda said,


  163. Bobbie said,

    See what happens when I stay up late?

  164. Linda said,

    Has he got nothin’, or is he scribbling some new madness for our next 24 hours’ entertainment?

  165. LaFlamme said,

    Do they actually call it the “b team?” I remember way back at the start, I was asked to write copy to that effect, for promotional purposes. I did a take off on the A team theme, somewhat. I never thought to see if they really used that. Frankly, I don’t like to be included in an “team” stuff over there. I cover downtown action and write my stupid columns. I’m not the rah rah kind of guy.
    Believe me, you’ll never insult me by questioning the b section or any part of the paper. Not at all. Sincerely.

  166. Linda said,

    Yeh — delirium tremens, right?

  167. LaFlamme said,

    Holy crap. Bulldog gave me “enlightened?” She must be in a bargaining mood. Oh, where to begin.

  168. Bobbie said,

    Don’t let it go to your head tonight, Mark. Not a bargaining mood, just a good one.

  169. Bulldog said,

    bargaining mood? Is that what you call it? I just call it being buzzed

  170. Bobbie said,

    That’s what I said-a good mood.

  171. Linda said,

    No I don’t think I ever saw “the b team” in the paper. It just strikes me as an unfortunate possible turn of phrase.

    OK, well I still feel better to choose my moments. And how you compartmentalize like that, I’ll never know. It’s a gift — cherish it.

  172. Bobbie said,

    Please don’t use words like “cherish” around Mark or else he’ll get all flowery and bubbly on you. That’s not a pretty sight at all-and you get soaked in the process.

  173. LaFlamme said,

    I’ve used “the b team” mockingly around the newsroom once or 300 times. As in: “Hey, Kelly! I have a caller on the line who wants to talk about lesbian roller blading! No crime involved, I want nothing to do with it! Anything your crackpot b team wants?”
    But I’ve never heard it formally.

  174. Linda said,

    Jeez, what was I thinking? I may have used up my lucid hours for the day. I can feel the fog setting in. The next best thing to staying up late is going to bed. Night!

  175. Bobbie said,

    Then again, remember who you’re dealing with at the paper. If they had a problem with balls of steel, then they’ll have problems with “the b section”. They have no sense of humor down there at all, do they?

  176. Bulldog said,

    Yea, the pinky flippin’ flame boy has a true feminine side to him. The pink KIA gives it away.

  177. Bulldog said,

    Night Linda!!

  178. Bobbie said,

    Night, Linda!

    Night, Bulldog!

    Anyone for JimBob too?

  179. Linda said,

    Of course the other side of the mystery is — how do they stand you? I mean, it’s different for us, we can hit the “off” button any time we like, not that we like to, but we COULD.

  180. Bobbie said,

    Maybe they just tune him out after awhile.

  181. LaFlamme said,

    I’m still bitter about the balls of steel part. I mean, yeesh. They want edgy and bold and then rate it G? Don’t get me started. Unless you want to get me started. In which case: get me started.

  182. Bobbie said,

    And you said that he compartmentalized so well, Linda. Guess he proved you wrong.

  183. Bobbie said,

    It looks you’ve already started on your own, Mark. LOL

  184. Bulldog said,

    Why do you think I hardly ever blog over at the SJ. I HATE censorship. I feel your pain Mark. Those balls of steel must be pretty heavy. I guess that explains why you walk funny.

  185. LaFlamme said,

    That’s only the start of it.

  186. Bulldog said,

    Oh really. do tell

  187. Bobbie said,

    Yeah, come on, Mark. Tell us tonight. We’re the only ones here and we promise not to tell anyone else what you say!

  188. Bulldog said,

    you’re still here too Boobie! So much for getting to bed early! Pour me another one barkeep!

  189. LaFlamme said,

    Barkeep? I don’t think so. We’re down to sucking the taps like animals in here.

  190. Sulu said,

    ….steel balls? Lesbian roller blading? where? Scotty- Beam me up…..

  191. Bulldog said,

    did someone say sucking? my nipples are still cold

  192. Bulldog said,

    Sulu- the fun is just starting. Why do you want to get beamed? Unless of course you’re referring to Jim Beam, then that’s OK. But, you’ll have to suck it out of the bottom of the bottle.

  193. K2 said,

    LaFlamme, I hear you, man — airports suck absolute balls.

    One of these days, I’m buying a VW Rialta RV. At least when driving, you have some control.

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