Love hurts

August 14, 2006 at 1:01 am (Uncategorized)

 

As a writer, I want to make a wild story about this photo and try to propel it into the realm of urban legend. Something involving a skinny vacuum salesman and a 600 pound housewife, maybe. The crushing pressure of the sales professions.

As an investigator, I’m interested with the truth. Did the man on the bottom of this fleshy haystack die under her weight? And if so, did she eat him afterward?

But I know it’s pointless. We will all interpret the photo in our own way and determine privately how it applies to our own lives. For me, it provokes a a very personal memory indeed. And guess what? I ain’t tellin.

 

squashed.jpg

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49 Comments

  1. jarheaddoc said,

    This defies description.

  2. Linda said,

    Where do you find this stuff? and why? as for the guy, he must be dead, that’s my opinion anyhow.

  3. Mainetarr said,

    After looking at this picture, I am feelingmighty thin this morning. Hee hee

  4. Thaifood Teena said,

    He put too much air in the blow up doll.

  5. Bobbie said,

    I’ve seen this photo before. It was sent to me by a friend of mine. There are skinny guys who like heavy women out there-the heavier the better. I’m with Mainetarr-I’m feeling skinny this morning.

  6. Dan / Jean said,

    You guys are just jealous because the girls have big bones. I luv big-boned girls. Their so delicious. Mmm Mmm Goood



  7. K2 said,

    Wow, pretty heavy stuff today.

  8. Gil said,

    Dinosaurs were big-boned. You’re just big-assed.

  9. K2 said,

    Horizontal stripes will do that to you.

  10. AO said,

    OYE! Next time I’m having a “fat” day, I’m gonna scroll back to this picture.

  11. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    I’m at a loss to describe this photo. All I know is it would make one hell of an obituary anecdote.

  12. AO said,

    And, Mark, it’s okay. You don’t have to tell. The picture speaks for itself.

  13. Dan / Jean said,

    I picked up this hot chick in Kennedy Park last week.

  14. Bulldog said,

    HA! Teena, you funny girl. Rolling this one in flour to find the wet spot isn’t going to happen. We’d have to dump the whole Country Kitchen silo on her. yikes!

    *I feel pretty, oh so pretty…*

  15. Bulldog said,

    Jean/Dan/Jean- that picture is just not right…not right at all.

  16. Treehugger said,

    Damn,
    Is that Dan and Brenda?

  17. Dan / Jean said,

    FU Treehugger

  18. Dan / Jean said,

    Is this why the call you Treehugger. Republican pervert.

  19. Dan / Jean said,

    You make me so angry. Iforgot to post link.

  20. AO said,

    Damn! Treehugger, you’re built!!

  21. Linda said,

    I usually have a chance to check the blog at lunchtime & toss in a comment or two, nothing too rude since I’m at work

    But I still don’t know what to say about this one. That man can’t POSSIBLY survive for long — look how limp his arms look already– and the woman doesn’t look as if she could move fast enough to give him air when he turns blue. So, WTF? Dan, what do you think, why would either of the participants pose for a pic like this? (they tell me you are the most authoritative source for that question, here on the blog)

  22. Dan / Jean said,

    I see Linda and AO are getting chummy.

  23. Crystal said,

    You know, they did a CSI, at a fatty convention where this guy was found dead and they couldn’t figure it out, and come to find out he had been with one of the women from the convention and during the night she had rolled over and smothered him without even knowing it.
    Gotta love CSI !!!!

  24. Martha said,

    All I have to say it…. it aint me.

  25. Thaifood Teena said,

    CSI= Cow Smothered Idiot. (special episode)

  26. Mainetarr said,

    Dan, happy to see you are still an asshole, even on this blog. Welcome back, douchebag.

  27. Mainetarr said,

    By the way, nice ass Treehugger.

  28. Bobbie said,

    Dan/Jean,
    You have got to find some new photos that haven’t already been passed around the internet a million times. Old stuff for an old guy?

  29. LaFlamme said,

    Wow. Heavy topic to… Dammit. K2 already took that line.

  30. LaFlamme said,

    The original photo was mailed in by Nadine. She had a lot of good ones, in fact. A lot of vomit shots I will hoard for later.

  31. Mainetarr said,

    Fuggin Nadine….I should have guessed. I really thought it was Weasel, though.

  32. K2 said,

    Take a load off, Fannie
    Take a load for free
    Take a load off, Fannie
    And put the load right on me

    or

    And the bullets fly
    And the rivers run dry
    And the fat girls sigh
    And the network anchorperson lies

    or

    Nobody wants a fat girl
    But O! how a fat girl can love

    or

    The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin’
    That’s what I said
    The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand
    Or so I have read
    My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo
    I’d like to sink her with my pink torpedo
    Big bottom, big bottom
    Talk about bum cakes, my girl’s got ’em
    Big bottom drive me out of my mind
    How could I leave this behind?
    I met her on Monday, twas my lucky bun day
    You know what I mean
    I love her each weekday, each velvety cheek day
    You know what I mean
    My love gun’s loaded and she’s in my sights
    Big game is waiting there inside her tights, yeah
    Big bottom, big bottom
    Talk about mud flaps, my girl’s got ’em
    Big bottom drive me out of my mind
    How could I leave this behind?

  33. LaFlamme said,

    Or:

    I like big butts and I cannot lie
    I like really, really, really, really, really big butts
    And I’ll probably die

  34. AO said,

    Wow, deep man.

  35. Nadine said,

    Tee-hee! 🙂

  36. "The Weasel" said,

    How bout Queen’s “Fat Bottomed Girls”

    Are you gonna take me home tonight?
    Ah, down beside that red firelight;
    Are you gonna let it all hang out?
    Fat bottomed girls,
    You make the rockin’ world go round.

    Hey
    I was just a skinny lad
    Never knew no good from bad,
    But I knew life before I left my nursery,
    Left alone with big fat Fanny,
    She was such a naughty nanny!
    Heap big woman you made a bad boy out of me!
    Hey, hey!

    I’ve been singing with my band
    Across the wire, across the land,
    I seen ev’ry blue eyed floozy on the way, hey
    But their beauty and their style
    Wear kind of smooth after a while.
    Take me to them lardy ladies every time!

    (C’mon)
    Oh won’t you take me home tonight?
    Oh down beside your red firelight,
    Oh and you give it all you got
    Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin’ world go round
    Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin’ world go round

    Hey listen here,
    Now I got mortgages on homes
    I got stiffness in my bones
    Ain’t no beauty queens in this locality. (I tell ya!)
    Oh, but I still get my pleasure
    Still got my greatest treasure.
    Heap big woman you done made a big man out-of me!
    Now get this!

    Oh, you gonna take me home tonight (please)
    Ah, down beside that red firelight
    Oh, you gonna let it all hang out
    Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin’ world go round
    Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin’ world go round
    GET ON YOUR BIKES AND RIDE!

    Oooh yeah oh yeah them fat bottomed girls
    Fat bottomed girls
    Yeah yeah yeah
    all right
    ride ’em cowboy
    Fat bottomed girls
    Yes yes

  37. AO said,

    Wow, deep man. Again.

  38. AO said,

    Charlie Musselwhite said it the best:
    I love ya chilled, and I love ya chopped
    I love ya better, it’s so hard now to stop
    Big legged woman, with the short, short mini skirt
    Promise me darlin’, never make me feel like this
    I love ya hips, and I love ya thighs
    I love ya baby now, you my heart desires
    Big legged woman, with the short, short mini skirt
    Promise me darlin’, never make me feel like this
    Ashes to ashes, and dust to dust
    You mess with my woman, I’m gonna hush your fuss
    Big legged woman, with the short, short mini skirt
    Promise me darlin’, never make me feel like this
    Rustle up your feathers, and curl up your tail
    I’m gettin’ somethin’, if I have to go to jail
    Big legged woman, with the short, short mini skirt
    Promise me darlin’, never make me feel like this
    Little red rooster, told the little brown hen
    I ain’t had none, since god knows when
    Big legged woman, with the short, short mini skirt
    Promise me darlin’, never make me feel like this
    I’ll love you nights, and I’ll love you days
    I’ll love you baby, every kinda way
    Big legged woman, with the short, short mini skirt
    Promise me darlin’, never make me feel like this.
    I love a big legged woman
    I love a big legged woman
    I love a big legged woman
    All night long
    All night long
    All night long
    Girl is alright
    Girl is alright
    Girl is alright
    I love a big legged woman
    I love a big legged woman

  39. Nadine said,

    Well, if MySpace is for kids, which is what Sulu assumes — then these are the types of pictures they are looking at! Beware!

  40. Nadine said,

    Well, if MySpace is for kids, which is what Sulu assumes — then these are the types of pictures they are looking at! I found all the pics that I sent to Mark on MySpace by chance..didn’t even have to search.

    So, be warned, MySpace is not for kids.

  41. Nadine said,

    Ummmm….oops! Heh

  42. AO said,

    Nadine, I KNOW that My Space is not for kids. My son wanted in on it a few months back. I was very adament about him not doing it but, I did relent. Know what? He was bored. Had no interest in it. Thank Gawd!

  43. Linda said,

    I was going to ask you, Nadine, what was so addictive about MySpace. Now … well never mind I guess 🙂

  44. Sulu said,

    It wasn’t actually an assumption, all I knew about it was from the tv news. They always have stories about teens on myspace & warnings about adults posing as teens. That didn’t sound very interesting since I’d rather hang out with adults. So you are saying myspace is interesting for adults, although some kids are also on it?

  45. Mainetarr said,

    Too bad that guy didn’t have nine inch nails, maybe he could scratch his way out.

  46. A song by 50 Cent said,

    Yea, we over here, with some fat chicks, haha
    there so sexy i wanna bang them
    give me a suckin job girl
    [50 Cent]
    Yo, I don’t be fucking with them fat bitches
    That’s Yayo, all the fat bitches

    [Chorus]
    Don’t be stuck on the things they say, now you know it’s a nasty world
    I ain’t fucking with you anyway, ‘cause I know you’re a nasty girl
    I ain’t ever gonna discriminate, so let me compliment your eyes

    [50 Cent]
    Fat, fat, them Snickers got your ass getting fat, fat
    Those cookies got your ass getting fat, fat
    That Cake got your ass getting fat, fat
    Bitch you grown, that ain’t baby fat, fat

    [50 Cent]
    In the gym I see your ass up on the Stairmaster
    But you got it on level two bitch go a little faster
    Look girl, I ain’t gonna lie, I’ll tell you how I feel
    They should handcuff your big ass to the treadmill
    You wanna work out now, ’cause you know it’s getting hot
    And your big ass fitting to pop all up out a halter top
    Find a right chick wearing some tight shit and it’s on
    See your ass wear some tight shit we like, “She wrong”

    [Chorus]
    Don’t be stuck on the things they say, now you know it’s a nasty world
    I ain’t fucking with you anyway, ‘cause I know you’re a nasty girl
    I ain’t ever gonna discriminate, so let me compliment your eyes

    [50 Cent]
    That Burger King done got your ass fat, fat
    McDonald’s done got your ass fat, fat
    That Domino’s done got your ass fat, fat
    Fat, Fat

    [Lloyd Banks]
    I like ‘em slim in the waste
    Curves in the right place
    A bitch with hips, lips, and a tight face
    Your appetite will put a dent up in a nigga’s salary
    You need to stop burning that weed and burn them calories
    Your attitude is like you always had gear
    You got a ponytail, you ain’t always have hair
    I just love to see your capris coming down, mami leave
    On the town, stay away if you 300 pounds

    [Chorus]
    Don’t be stuck on the things they say, now you know it’s a nasty world
    I ain’t fucking with you anyway, ‘cause I know you’re a nasty girl
    I ain’t ever gonna discriminate, so let me compliment your eyes

    [50 Cent]
    Fat, fat, them cinnasticks got your ass fat, fat
    Them Little Debbie’s done got your ass fat, fat
    These cupcakes done got your ass fat, fat
    Fat, fat

    [Tony Yayo]
    I ain‘t gonna trip, I hang at the bar with my wallet
    I‘m freaking off in your car or your closet
    And ain’t nothing wrong with a big, strong girl
    If you could cook your ass off, I’ll give you the world
    You could be skinny or fat, white or black
    Nigga pussy is pussy, so yea, I’ll hit that
    I’m a freak, so I love ménage a trois
    And I really care less if you twice my size

    [Chorus]
    Don’t be stuck on the things they say, now you know it’s a nasty world
    I ain’t fucking with you anyway, ‘cause I know you’re a nasty girl
    I ain’t ever gonna discriminate, so let me compliment your eyes

    [50 Cent]
    Them Snickers got your ass getting
    Those cookies got your ass getting fat, fat
    That Cake got your ass getting fat, fat
    Bitch you grown, that ain’t baby fat, fat

    [50 Cent]
    Stay the fuck away from me, fucken fat bitch
    Fuck with Tony Yayo ho
    Uh, oh, stop, don‘t you touch me
    I mean this shit ho

  47. LaFlamme said,

    Word.

  48. Treehugger said,

    Dan,
    I think I got the better end of the deal.
    BTY, great pic of you on the bench.

  49. Nadine said,

    I guess that about sums it up Sulu.

    It’s open to everyone, it is free to make your own “space”, and has TONS of music sites I like…

    MT: Love the NIN joke! hehe.

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