Doing time

September 18, 2006 at 3:11 am (Uncategorized)

prison.jpg

I was at a party in Bar Harbor once where a skinny fellow with an ugly beard was holding forth in a corner of the room with a good crowd around him. Always up for a good party story, I wandered over. The young man had one foot propped on a beer cooler and he was speaking in hard tones, addressing each member of his audience with a sweep of his eyes.

“What I miss?” I asked one of the attentive listeners, while simultaneously assessing her cleavage.

“Guy’s an ex-con. He’s telling some freaky ass stories about his time inside.”

“Ah,” I said, and when I got a chance, I asked the hardened criminal: “How long were you in for?”

The dude nodded somberly, as if he were recalling those bleak days behind bars. Then he looked at me, clenched his teeth and said: “Three days.”

And he wasn’t kidding. This embattled con from the dungeons had served a long weekend at a county jail and now he was presenting himself as a survivor of hard time. A couple girls big on bosom but short on brains continued to be enthralled, but the rest of us groaned and walked away. Maybe there was a boy scout somewhere telling stories about combat.

I did three days in a county jail once myself. It was just enough to teach me that, by golly, maybe I don’t want to serve any more time locked up after all.

01313114373.JPGI know men who have done a series of long stretches in prison and they all have horror stories to tell. Some of them have gone back over and over, while others became totally reformed once they were free. These latter types won’t so much as jaywalk or toss a cigarette butt in the street, so determined are they to walk the line.

Mainstream America is fascinated by prison. Witness the endless documentaries about life in maximum security. Scroll through the television stations and you will find something about death row, Alcatraz, Joliet or Leavenworth. Behold the mind boggling popularity of the series “Prison Break.”

chainedheat.jpgMost of us are compelled to watch prison movies because it forces us to confront an unknown about ourselves. Do we have what it takes to last years in the barbaric world of corrections? Do we have the fortitude to suffer through physical and psychological torment in a world without sun? Could we survive that kind of day-to-day jungle with our souls intact? In woman’s prisons, do sexy young thangs really wrestle around in the shower with clingy white tank tops with smoking hot wardens who make the prisoners do her bidding?

Find out by watching Linda Blair in “Chained Heat.” For more authentic depictions of prison that won’t give you a boner (probably), see The Birdman of Alcatraz, Papillon, Midnight Express, Shawshank, The Big House, the Green Mile, Dead Man Walking or, my favorite Bad Boys, with Sean Penn.

Nymphos Behind Bars also deserves two thumbs up. And then some.

Advertisements

72 Comments

  1. K2 said,

    How about that scene in Bad Boys when Penn fills his pillow case full of soda cans and proceeds to ruthlessly flog his rival with it. I hope that was diet in there. “How ’bout a Fresca?”

    I’ve been in jail a couple times for a few hours, but never over night — yet. Both times, once in ’88 and once in ’00, were for talking back to police. Imagine that.

    LaFlamme, how can you leave out what you were in for? Public masturbation? What a jerk.

    As Robin Williams said, “Isn’t it interesting that if you commit sodomy in Georgia, they’re going to put you in a cell with a man who’s going to sodomize you?”

  2. AO said,

    I know! Give it up. Why were you in the big house?

  3. Linda said,

    Has anyone read “Kesey’s Jail Journal” by Ken Kesey? I saw it at a friend’s house and read bits of it, but have been meaning to get it and read the whole thing. It seemed very entertaining.

    He served time in the late 60s for a marijuana offense.

  4. FRED said,

    I got arrested once in Calif, for punching a neighbor in the face. Believe me she deserved it too.! But they let me set in the receiving area while my husband negotiated my release. Never did see the inside of the San Diego lock up.Such is life in Navy housing.

  5. K2 said,

    jd, I haven’t read that, but the story of Kesey’s arrest, flight ot Mexico, and return, are covered in Dennis McNalley’s “What a long strange trip it’s been.”

    Fred, I’m sure the bitch deserved it. A right or a left?

  6. FRED said,

    Right !Right in the kisser.Good blood flow to !

  7. Linda said,

    K2, WTF — are you mixing me up with jd? I’m coming home to Maine today and I might have to find you and kick your ass.

  8. jarheaddoc said,

    K2, I don’t look anything like Linda, so you must’ve made some sort of Freudian slip regarding #3.

    I have no good jail stories, just a reference to a movie. Sean Connery, as John Patrick Mason, from “The rock”, with NIcolas cage: I spend a lot of my days trying to avoid gang rape in the shower, though that seems to be less of a worry as I age. I guess I must be losing my sex appeal.” (Heavily paraphrased from a shaky memory)

  9. jarheaddoc said,

    Steal his pot, that will hurt him a lot more than any physical stuff you could heap on him, Linda. I’d buy a ticket to that. maybe even two!

  10. Treehugger said,

    KY, for talking back to the cops?
    Had nothing to do with interferring with an arrest?

  11. K2 said,

    Actually, I stole the cop’s gun, put it to his head and said, “Come on, pig, make me do it!” Then the S.W.A.T team came in and subdued me with that delibitating non-lethal foam. Yeah, that’s what happened.

    It’s a blog about jail, Peeplugger. So I brought up my two times in the can. Both were for talking back. Go down to Portland and read the damn report. You obviously have nothing better to do anyway.

    You know, the only place more isolated than prison is your utterly vacuous skull.

  12. K2 said,

    Oh, I see now, you mean interfering with MY arrest? Oh, yeah, definitely. I didn’t like it, no sir. Especially the getting tackled-by-the-two-officers part. You know cops, they are all honest and all the fault soley rests on me, for the Old Port police would never, I mean NEVER, rough up an individual with a big mouth. Especially during Chitwood’s regime.

    Really, your intellectual development ended around age 15 or 16. Fact is, you don’t read and your mind is totally static. What you think now, you thought 10, 20 years ago. Simply no growth whatsover.

    Besides, I haven’t seen you post a new idea in months upon months. At least people in here are trying to be new, spontaneous and hopefully funny. You, however, offer none of those things. What a miserable, miserable person you must be in person.

  13. brenda said,

    I spent a long 3day weekend in Juvenile hall in San Diego way back in 1973 or so, when I was caught trying to cross the border into Mexico with 3 other runaway teenage girls.
    Oh, then a short visit to a holding cell in Lewiston (I think?) and later that year in Boston – again for running away. My mom lied & said I was 14 to get the Boston police to find & arrest me, because I was 17 and at 17 the police would’ve let me choose to leave home if I wanted to. But I looked young.

  14. K2 said,

    jd/Linda/Billy/Virginia/Timmy/Gertrude, sorry about the confusion. I plead insanity.

  15. jarheaddoc said,

    NOT ACCEPTED

  16. jarheaddoc said,

    Did something happen to the rest of the post in #15? K2 was supposed to be sentenced to a dose of syphills and have his wee-wee whacked by the bailiff

  17. K2 said,

    MICROBIOLOGY LAB: STAPH ONLY

  18. LaFlamme said,

    RC Cola. That was the soda Penn used to break that gorilla’s face in “Bad Boys.”

  19. jarheaddoc said,

    Okay, I get it now, sorry. Ha Ha, K2. So would the nuclear physics lab be GONE FISSION?

  20. LaFlamme said,

    The stem cell lab: EMBRYOS ONLY.

  21. K2 said,

    Yeah, RC Cola, chunky-style. Had to hurt.

    STAMP OUT AND ERADICATE SUPERFLUOUS REDUNDANCY

  22. K2 said,

    Hey, wait a second: LaFlamme, what got you three days in the hole?

  23. LaFlamme said,

    Molesting a dead horse. (name that movie).

  24. LaFlamme said,

    Actually, it was driving drunk to a girlfriend’s house 15 miles away, at 2 in the morning, with no headlights. 1989. Class C driving while intoxicated, Class D being a moron.

  25. K2 said,

    Headlights? Who the hell needs head ights? Especially late at night when you’re driving to get laid. Cripes, he’s just letting his boner be his guide, Officer.

    Total bull shit charge. I hope you sued the department.

    Honestly, how I haven’t landed an OUI is beyond me. Still, why three days? Was bail too high?

    And I know there’s no way around it, but I hate the artibrariness of 0.08. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, driving should be performance based. If you’re tired or on a cell phone and crash, you’re not ostracized. Why is that?

    And the movie? . . . Blazing Saddles?

  26. Richie said,

    Fascinating. Treehugger cites something, and K2 goes all wonky.

    No, you weren’t arrested for talking back to the cops. Check Title 17a MRSA (online, by the way) and you won’t find ‘talking back’ on there as an offense. Now, if the cops were in the performance of their duty, and you made the mistake of running your mouth and being a general asshat, yes, I can see you being arrested. And arrested twice ? Obviously you didn’t learn your lesson !

    General Cop Rule #17: Always arrest the idiot running his mouth, “pour encourager les autres” (it’s French; look it up). Once the guy with the big mouth gets launched, the other mopes generally get the idea the cops aren’t taking any shit & they’ll leave the area too.

    Let me tell you; generally, cops DON’T want to make an arrest. Oh, there are some they don’t mind; the people are cooperative, it’s a warrant, easy things like that.
    For the most part, though, cops will go out of their way to avoid arresting you. You have to work hard to get arrested. First of all, a cop doesn’t want to touch you. Why do you think they wear gloves ? Most mutts are dirty, stinky, unwashed, sweaty, insect infested, pus coated, vomit covered, pea brained, over muscled, under penised, drunken slobbering lackwits; and no cop in his right mind wants to get ANY of that on HIM !! Then there’s the paperwork. Reams of paperwork. There’s also the risk of injury; to the cop, not the mope. We don’t worry about hurting the mope, but no cop wants a small injury from a insignificant arrest.

    So, outside a bar; an intoxicated idiot decides his mail-order degree in Constitutional Law trumps anything two highly trained, experienced, SOBER, law enforcement Officers (who have more court time than many lawyers or judges) might know. And, of course by verbalising his miniscule thoughts as loudly as possible (since we all know volume more than makes up for lack of content) will force the Officers to back off and allow what ever foolishness was being suppressed to occur as much as possible. Wrong-o, bright boy.

    Issuing a verbal challenge to the Police always draws attention. The other mutts now all want to see whats going to happen. Oh, they know the idiot is going to jail; won’t pass Go, won’t be collecting the $200, no; there’ll be some cuffin’ and stuffin’ going and they wanna watch ! That’s part of the fun of Lisbon Street (or, the old port area).
    Almost invariably, after telling idiot boy to shut up and go home numerous times, the Officers finally have to DO something. They don’t WANT to arrest idiot child, they prefer he’d just leave, but, no; idiot boy is declaiming about his “rights” , and in so doing actively interfering with the Officers. Now, the Officers have been entertained by all this, but the crowd isn’t dispersing, and other fights usually break out when you have a herd of drunken asses milling about and all braying at the same time. The entertainment value plummets quickly when a riot breaks out. (Remember the Knox Street Riot of 1978 ? Ah, thats another story for another time.)

    So, the cops head for bright boy. Being the brave shit-for-brains he is, idiot boy either tries to run (and is merely arrested tired), or, makes a truly bad mistake, and attempts to fight the cops. This second choice is what the crowd has come to see !!

    Says the Officer: Hmmm; what shall I use ? Gun ? No, too many reports to write, Baton ? Eh. Doesn’t hurt enough fast enough. Fists of Glory ? No, that comes later. Wish I had a Tazer; nothing that a little bit of the funky chicken can’t cure. Hmm. Ah ha ! Pepper spray ! Idiot boy tries to fight and ends up liberally dosed with pepper spray. Very shortly after that he’s sitting in the back of the cruiser heading for County; cuffed and stuffed, well-seasoned like a turkey at Thansgiving.

    Pepper is great ! Usually, once a moron has had a dose of pepper they don’t want another. A few have gone for two times; but rare is the individual who comes around yet again for a third dosing.

    Then comes Court. Here’s where the rubber meets the road. Bright boy shows up; looking like the mutt he is; and over there is Officer Friendly; all dressed nice and neat, SOBER, and conferring with the D.A. Bright boy, again using his degree in Constitutional Law decides to represent himself. Case closed. Takes about 10 minutes to find bright boy guilty. Pay the fine. If bright boy runs his mouth, the Judge finds him in contempt & bright boy heads back to jail. Again, doesn’t pass Go, etc.

    I think after all of this we get the point. There’s ways to talk to cops; but all of them require speaking in a normal voice, politely, and while SOBER. So, if the cop arrests someone on Lisbon Street; or in the Old Port, rest assured he didn’t really want to do it. The arrestee had to work mighty hard to qualify as a prize winner THAT night !

  27. K2 said,

    On the road again, I just can’t wait to get stoned again. . . .

    Good ol’ Willie. Gotta love him — a 70-year-old stoner.

    http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/Music/09/18/willie.busted.ap/index.html

  28. LaFlamme said,

    Ah, I had it coming in 1989. I made a few too many “I must see the girl” trips in the wee hours after a night of partying. Besides, I looked great in the orange jumpsuit. I’m thinking of getting one.

  29. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    Did you get a mugshot out of the deal in ’89?

  30. K2 said,

    Richie, no shit, asshole. I never denied being an insubordinate loud mouth that night. Still, I just didn’t deserve a beat down. You can go to your grave thinking I went after the officers, but I didn’t. They literally came after me, and how. And if I really went after Officer Libby, and really bloodied his nose as he fabricated on the police report (if there was any blood, it was mine), do you think he would have let the case essentially go? Get real.

    But for you to tell me cops can’t essentially do whatever the fuck they want to do, well, that’s bull shit, man, bull shit. But hey, believe your fantasy — maybe even jerk off to visions of me getting taken down. You know you want to. . . .

    Also, maybe if your posts were even longer and less friendly, you’d get your point across even better.

  31. Richie said,

    I’d recommend against doing that. A bright boy in another state did just that; got an orange jumpsuit & lettered “County Jail” on the back of it. While in a store buying something, an off-duty Deputy spotted bright boy & arrested him at gun point.
    Although they did find he wasn’t an escapee, they did lock him up on a charge appropriate to someone attempting to impersonate an escaped prisoner. (Stop and think now, my childre; why do you think they have prisoners wearing orange jumpsuits lettered on the back for the County Jail ? )

  32. K2 said,

    Richie, you should really lay off the testosterone boosters. Freud would have a field day with you.

  33. Linda said,

    Well I don’t know who Billy, Virginia, Timmy and Gertrude are, but if they are OK with it, I’ll let it go too, K2.

    Oh and by the way, I’ve never been in jail. Big surprise there, eh?

  34. Richie said,

    We’ll, K2, it appears I’ve pinched a nerve !! “Asshole” indeed !!

    “But for you to tell me cops can’t essentially do whatever the fuck they want to do,”
    Re-read my post. Never said that. Cops CAN do pretty much whatever the *bleep* they want to do !! Surprise, surprise !!

    Please note that I said that, generally, they don’t WANT to arrest you. Distinct difference there. Also, I thought my post WAS friendly. No swear words, no personally-directed invective; you hurt my feelings !! You are right about one thing though, I do tend to run on. I get going and I just can’t control myself !! Well, if I get out of hand, Marky Mark will put the spank on me; or maybe use pepper mace on me.

    Injuries, especially minor injuries, are all too common for cops. Cuts, scrapes, broken fingers, broken glasses, all are not uncommon. No big deal. The Officer might cite it in his report; but the D.A. might have not thought it rose to a level warranting further charges. You should count your blessings you weren’t charged with Assault on an Officer. Get a record for being assaultive, and your contacts with the police will turn out to be ‘felony stops’. Not a good thing.

    Well, go do some more drugs K2; you’ll feel better in the morning.

    – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
    There I was completely wasting, out of work and down
    All inside its so frustrating as I drift from town to town
    Feel as though nobody cares if I live or die
    So I might as well begin to put some action in my life

    Breaking the law, breaking the law
    Breaking the law, breaking the law
    Breaking the law, breaking the law
    Breaking the law, breaking the law

    So much for the golden future, I cant even start
    Ive had every promise broken, theres anger in my heart
    You dont know what its like, you dont have a clue
    If you did youd find yourselves doing the same thing too

    Breaking the law, breaking the law
    Breaking the law, breaking the law
    Breaking the law, breaking the law
    Breaking the law, breaking the law

    You dont know what its like

    Breaking the law, breaking the law
    Breaking the law, breaking the law
    Breaking the law, breaking the law
    Breaking the law, breaking the law

  35. Richie said,

    Linda, jail ain’t all that its’ cracked up to be. You aren’t missing a thing.
    Accomdations are poor, food is bland at best, and the amenities are nothing to speak of. The quality of company there is none to good; but you certainly get to see another world that you might not otherwise be aware exists.

  36. K2 said,

    Richie, there’s no hit nerve, I just call it like I see it: You guys have no material.

    Fact is, your posts are generally humorless, lengthy and full of ostentatious machismo. You and Peeplugger never self-depricate and your sense of humors are practically nil. Like most conservative men, you guys have to portend strength and vigor at all times to satisfy your own deep-rooted insecurities. I’m not saying real men eat quiche, but, boy, you guys are a literal parody of Maine’s uber-conservatives.

    But hey, meat heads are people too.

  37. Richie said,

    Huh ? OK. What ever. Like I said, go take some drugs, you’ll feel better later.

    On a more important note: tomorrow is Talk-Like-A-Pirate day. Arrrrgggghh !!

  38. K2 said,

    Actually, I stand corrected: You self-depricated in #34. Mea culpa.

  39. K2 said,

    Hey, you get high on macho bull shit, I get high on kind bud. To each their own.

  40. Linda said,

    If anyone minds a comment that’s off today’s topic, delete now and accept my apologies. Somehow it seemed relevant anyway.

    Also, it’s ten days old so maybe you’ve all made the necessary accommodations, but just in case …

    ******************************
    AMSTERDAM, Netherlands, Sept. 8 (UPI) — A report released Friday by Greenpeace Netherlands reveals that many plastic sex toys have high concentrations of phthalates, a toxic chemical softener.

    Greenpeace reported that a wide range of sex toys, including vibrators and dildos, contain hazardous levels of phthalates, which is used to make plastic more soft and flexible.

    Researchers reportedly tested eight sex toys for phthalates, finding that seven of them contained dangerous amounts of the chemicals — which are said not to biodegrade well and can be hazardous even in small amounts.

    Three years ago, research into children’s toys such as teething rings turned up similar levels of the chemicals. Toy manufacturers were forced to come up with alternatives, since phthalates can be ingested through direct contact with sensitive tissue.

    Greenpeace said the research indicates exposure to the chemicals can disrupt the body’s ability to regulate hormone production. The chemicals also reportedly can damage reproduction, and cause liver and kidney defects — and possibly cancer

  41. K2 said,

    Linda, I’m writing an article that, until my editor hacked it out, had almost a thousand words on bisphenol A, which, like phylates, is omnipresent in plastics, and may be contributing to higher rates of autoimmune diseases, especially in women, since the chemicals mentioned are estrogen-like, which arguably affect women more, since estrogen is primarliy a female hormone. So, the linkage could be that increased exposures to these envirnomental estrogens are leading to more AD cases — which overwhelminly occur in women, over 3 to 1.

    Problem is the natural phytoestogens in edible plants — the environmental estrogens we eat every day. How can the synthetic estrogens be more dangerous than the equally, if not more, potent phytoestrogens, like daizdein in soybeans? Fact is: We no know.

    Oh, sorry. You started it.

  42. K2 said,

    Way off: ‘phthalates’

  43. Linda said,

    So K2, does this mean the dildo is OK but the tofu has to go? not many women would be crying about that. Tofu — I mean WTF?

    And it’s a nice synchronicity that your journal is running the same stories as the feminist newsletter I’ve been reading. (Well, one of them anyhow)

  44. Montel said,

    Richie, you stated that some police officers were “highly trained.” Where are they? Surely none of them are in the LA area, those guys would hardly pass a basic IQ test.

  45. K2 said,

    Oh, Alt Med leans nutty crunchy for sure. It’s a fine balance between reporting the straight science, and being sympathetic to the magazine and its readers.

    Oh, and the tofu dildo has to go. Especially the freezer pop variety.

  46. K2 said,

    Oh, I said ‘Oh’ twice. Oh.

  47. AO said,

    Oh MY!

    Tofu dildo’s…hmmm…I’ll bet those things smell pretty nasty.

  48. Linda said,

    Well K2, you must be doing a good job with that balance, sounds like they love you over there.

  49. Mainetarr said,

    Montel, you already done waxinf your ass…uh, I mean head? And again, welcome back Fat Bastard.

  50. FRED said,

    Does this mean if we have a sex toy we should throw it away? Not that i would ever have one of course.

  51. Linda said,

    Only if it’s made of tofu, Fred. If I’ve understood K2 correctly. Not that I would ever have one, either. Especially one made of tofu.

  52. AO said,

    Tofu’s bad enough as a food, never mind as a sex toy! Ha.

  53. jarheaddoc said,

    The real issue iwth that story is that the fucking tree huggers are once again trying to take the pleasures out of life, Linda. You can’t use toilet paper, it kills trees: okay, use the little plastic bags from Hannaford’s, ya fuckin’ yahoos! Now you’re telling me that the toys that can invariably outlast even the he-est of men are bad?

    Too much fucking tofu, clogged arteries, maybe all that natural estrogen is making them grow breasts, like Oliver Stone. Anyone else see a Lifetime movie out of that?

    I have got to quit mixing WTOH with my pills

  54. jarheaddoc said,

    Sorry, meant ETOH.

  55. Linda said,

    jd, you OK? that was a bit frenetic coming from you. Does the idea of sex toys rattle you? Bring back bad memories maybe?

  56. jarheaddoc said,

    Ya know, the thing about sex toys is that it lets me have ‘me’ time in trying to satisfy myself. I may be technologically illerate about this fucking computer, but i understand the beauty of getting a machine to do the work for you. am I jealous? Hey, whatever floats your boat, so long as the sap flows from the tree, I am happy.

    Crank ‘er up, baby!

    But in all seriousness, the fucking tree huggers are doing as much to ruin my fun as the people they hassle. You ask one of them if they use toilet paper and suggest plastic as a substitute and they will leave you alone just as quickly as a Jehovah’s Witness will when you tell them you’re Jewish and hung Christ and are still going to Heaven.

  57. jarheaddoc said,

    And I told you, no ETOH with the pills.

  58. jarheaddoc said,

    Dan, as far as #44 goes, have you tried speaking English to them and not spouting stupid shit when you get pulled over or caught on the down stroke on your dog?

  59. Linda said,

    jd, I mostly ignore all that “do this, don’t do that” crap. I don’t have much patience with news stories about what “studies have shown.” Too often, if you can find the actual published journal article, it’s a frigging sample of six or whatever. CNN doesn’t want to understand that one primary research has VERY little predictive power. If I want a schooner of coffee in the morning, I’m having it whether this year’s study says it’ll give me ulcers or make me live to 101.

    It’s kind of a “hot button” issue with me because my husband seems to (want to) believe every dumbass health research report in the mass media, and sometimes dares to suggest that I change my behavior accordingly. Needless to say, tough shit.

  60. jarheaddoc said,

    And you wonder why people find you intimidating….

    HOWEVER, and this is not an attempt to pacify you in any way, I understand and agree with you as far as people latching onto the newest bullshit. Many people don’t realize that the design of a study is a science in itself. Studies aren’t designed to give the student anything but the answers that are being sought, not the answers that might present themselves and challenge any paradigmatic thinking

  61. Daughtio said,

    Hey dadio, was Vassalboro where you were heading to? lol…

  62. Bobbie said,

    I’ve got a plot line for a movie based on a county jail. It has the following ideas:

    1. The female inmates are forced to walk around the cell area in just their bra and panties while they wait for their jail uniforms to be washed.

    2. Male inmates are allowed to watch female inmates as they shower.

    3. Inmates are forced to shower in stalls that retain water from previous showers. The water has been known to contain mold and other “floaty” stuff and can be up to 3 weeks old before it’s bailed out of the shower-make sure that the female inmate is wearing just her bra and panties as she scoops the water out with a paper cup.

    4. The trustees can-and do-engage in sex with other inmates (both male and female), usually in plain view of the other inmates. Bars do not inhibit sexual acts-some of the trustees can be quite inventive when it comes to new sexual positions.

    5. Have another female inmate witness a sexual act between a male trustee and a female inmate. Male trustee resorts to pulling first female inmate off the top bunk and proceeds to assualt the female inmate. Guards do not come in to investigate the coomotion because the male trustee has been known to get items for the guards that they can not get through official channels, nor by lawful means.

    6. Make sure that the rats and mice that inhabit the jail are large in size and hungry. Also note that said rats and mice are constantly hungry and will eat anything that does not move, especially toes and fingers during the middle of the night.

    7. Force inmates to sleep in bunks that are directly under leaking sewer pipes to see what new rashes will appear the week they have spicy Mexican food.

    8. Guards are on the take and will either be your best friend (for a price) or your enemy (again for a price). The highest payer gets to determine whether the guard is friend or foe.

    Unfortunately, the plot line I’ve just presented mirrors an actual county jail in Otero County. At one point in time, it was rated one of the top 5 worst county jails that you could be incarcerated in in the US.

    I haven’t been in jail yet and don’t plan to be at any time in the near future.

  63. K2 said,

    I think LaFlamme’s vacillating on Vassalboro.

  64. LaFlamme said,

    Yup. Vassalboro. Nothing but back roads. You were fine if you could sneak through Waterville and Winslow to get there. In my defense, the girl I was going to see was hot!

  65. AO said,

    Just stay away from Skidney Sidney.

  66. LaFlamme said,

    Ah, I used to cruise the roads of Sidney, too. Got some kin out that way.

  67. K2 said,

    You know hwat they do in Sidney for Halloween?

    Pumpkin. (Get it? How often?)

  68. Daughtio said,

    Dadio, I was assuming you were going to V-Town to see my momma, am I right? LOL, sorry…just curious.

  69. Daughtio said,

    Dadio, I’m assuming you were going to V-Town to see my momma, am I right? LOL, sorry…just curious.

  70. LaFlamme said,

    Of course! Who else would I go see in Vassalboro? That creepy dude who said nothing but “you got your knee highs on?” What was up with that guy?

  71. LaFlamme said,

    Your momma? Ha!

  72. Daughtio said,

    Bernard!! I’m not exactly sure what was wrong with him. I do know that a few years ago he got really sick and had to stay in bed all the time, kinda sad…it was weird not seeing him riding his bike around town.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: