Stick ’em up

October 7, 2006 at 2:17 am (Uncategorized)

Finally. A wanted poster that looks good on the post office wall. Do you classify them as five criminal suspects or ten? Anyway, good luck getting your hands on them. Remember in Porky’s when Beaula wanted to circulate photos of the offending wanker seen hanging around the girl’s locker room? It didn’t work out so well. And if you go patting people down in search of these swollen silicon globes, you’ll probably get a beating. Have fun with that!


Models in bras line up in this March 29, 2001 file photo. A German plastic surgeon who was cheated out of payment by several women has given pictures of their enlarged breasts to police, in the hope the photos will help trace them.



  1. "The Weasel" said,

  2. K2 said,

    Jeez, that bra must come in handy. (No pun intended.)

    I love titties, but they really are only part of the equation. (No, personality isn’t in the equation.)

  3. brenda said,

    I think you guys need some cross-cultural education, so I am pasting this language lesson for your enrichment.

    “Learn to speak Chinese in 5 minutes.
    You must read them aloud. From left to right.

    English/ Chinese

    That’s not right / Sum Ting Wong

    Are you harboring a fugitive?/ Hu Yu Hai Ding

    See me ASAP / Kum Hia Nao

    Stupid Man / Dum Fuk

    Small Horse / Tai Ni Po Ni

    Did you go to the beach? / Wai Yu So Tan

    I bumped into a coffee table/ Ai Bang Mai Fu Kin Ni

    I think you need a face lift / Chin Tu Fat

    It’s very dark in here / Wai So Dim

    I thought you were on a diet? / Wai Yu Mun Ching

    This is a tow away zone/ No Pah King

    Our meeting is scheduled for next week. / Wai Yu Kum Nao

    Staying out of sight / Lei Ying Lo

    He’s cleaning his automobile / Wa Shing Ka

    Your body odor is offensive / Yu Stin Ki Pu

    Great / Fa Kin Su Pa “

  4. "The Weasel" said,

    Nice tits

  5. Mainetarr said,

    Weasel, that’s just gross. PS-when are you going to e-mail me pics of your trip?

    Breanda, that’s the funniest thing you’ve ever posted. I love it.

  6. Mainetarr said,

    test—test, I think I have been banned again.

  7. Mainetarr said,

    86 that last comment, all is right in blogland again.

  8. Republican Hypocrite said,

    Somebody’s other hand must be busy, ’cause I count six.

  9. LaFlamme said,

    Ah, wow. There ARE six, aren’t there? It’s dizzying.

  10. LaFlamme said,

    What the hell is a “panic virgin?”

  11. Gil said,

    I got nothing

  12. LaFlamme said,

    Hey, I’m off to Bah friggin Habah. Behave yourselves while I’m away. Or not. Get naked, I don’t care.

  13. K2 said,

    “You can’t go! All the plants will die!” -John Winger, from ‘Stripes’

  14. Linda said,

    A bit off topic, but since we are on our own here — it seems to me that somebody has to say it — according to my calendar and Wikipedia, tonight is the Harvest Moon. Jarheaddoc, here’s hoping all your fantasies come true. Or if they don’t, that you enjoy them anyhow.

  15. My "cups" runneth over said,

  16. AO said,

    Tigers just beat the Yankees 8-3! Yeah! Flucking Yankees.

  17. jarheaddoc said,

    See, Linda, I had forgotten all about that running necked through the sheaves thing until you brought it up. It makes me think that you would really like to see that. Twenty or so years ago, when I really did have six pack abs and not the keg I do now, I woulda said what the hell, let’s do it. Now, it’s just too goddam cold for these getting older bones.

  18. Linda said,

    Well, it is pretty cold out … as we say, I got nothin’

    But wait — the Yankees lost? Great, there’s a fantasy coming true.

  19. AO said,

    The Yankees took “My Johnny” guess they might have a curse on them now. Sniff! GO TIGERS!

  20. Nadine said,

    I bet this chick would be easy to identify!!

    PS: Hi Peeps!

  21. Linda said,

    Hi Nadine, I’ve been wondering where you are!

    God, I hope that pic was photoshopped 🙂

  22. Thanks for the "mammaries" said,

  23. Daveyou said,

    You keep relying on tits for your readership levels.

    It works. Thank you.

  24. Mainetarr said,

    That guy has a bigger rack than I do, that bastard!

    Just got home from an I HATE KALLIE rally at the Collisee. Wow, there were a ton of signs there saying Kallie sucks. It’s all everyone talked about. Holy crap!! The Maineiac fans are livid with him. Even the announcer got in a jab. After the first period, he said, “the first period is over, the Maineiacs are ahead, the Yankees just lost and Kallie Oakes isn’t here tonight, it don’t get much better than that.” The crowd went wild when he said that one….

  25. Linda said,

    Do you think he deserved it? I usually enjoy his articles, but didn’t know what to make of that one.

  26. "The Weasel" said,

    ******LaFlamme named journalist of year******

    Flammer you weeping little girl………

    “I was completely taken by surprise,” said LaFlamme after the banquet. “I did not see that coming. It’s the only time in my journalistic career when I felt like crying. I was thrilled, and I still haven’t come down off that high. It was remarkable. A very strange and satisfying moment.”

    When his name was announced there was a standing ovation, said Sun Journal staffer Mari Maxwell.

    LaFlamme seemed overwhelmed, she said. “He was blinking his eyes pretty rapidly.” LaFlamme was speechless, something out of character.


  27. Linda said,

    Well how cool is that? Congratulations, Mark!

  28. Mainetarr said,

    Way to go Mark!!!

  29. K2 said,

    Well, I was Stoner of the Year in 1995.

    Congratulations, Mark. Enjoy the kudos!

  30. K2 said,

    And isn’t it a fine slap at Establishment that the day Mark gets the big award, his blog is about tits.

    Gotta love it!

  31. K2 said,

    And what a lovely photo of Mark in the eSJ today. Didn’t know he had gone blonde. Love the look.

    I must admit, I’ve got a huge smile on my face this morning, being happy for you, Mark.

    The award is also is a thumb in face of all the Puritanical clowns writing the SJ to complain about your work. If I may be blunt: Fuck those people.

    Anyway, who’s laughing now? . . .

  32. Arby said,

    Way to go, Mark!

  33. Gil said,

    Kudos Flamer.

  34. AO said,

    Congratulations, Mark!! Now, the only thing that could have made this better is if someone got a picture of you “weeping”. 🙂

  35. Linda said,

    Do you think you might have enough standing now to write “balls of steel” in the paper if you want to?

    Inch by inch.

  36. brenda said,

    Congratulations! I just read about your award in the Maine Sunday Telegram!!!!

  37. Linda said,

    So Brenda — you read the second best Sunday paper in the state, eh??

    Obviously Mark’s award is the BIG news, but lots of other awards came the SJ’s way also. Kudos to all of them.

  38. Proud Reader said,

    Well, I wasn’t even aware that you were nominated. It isn’t every day a Mainer wins the Pulitzer Prize . Will you be going to Columbia to accept the prize? Will you be offering free drinks with the cash prize? Will the award be on display in the SJ newsroom? Come on, enquiring minds want to know!

  39. Asshat said,

    Did Kallie Oakes get the Douchebag of the Year award???

  40. AO said,

    What did he do or, not do? I’m not a Kallie Oakes reader.

  41. Linda said,

    Full disclosure: this story has nothing to do with large breasts. But we’ve moved on to awards, and it carries that theme forward.

  42. K2 said,

    I see Mark and Corey are enjoying the AP’s all-expenses-paid, three-night/four-day vacation in SanTropez, compliments of the Carengie and Ford Foundations. Who knew life in the AP was so exciting?

    I hope when he comes back, he can still relate to us common folk. I don’t even know what to wear next time I see him. Does this mean no more tube tops? Man, how times change. Well, if he’s happy. . . .

  43. Linda said,

    K2, isn’t it flip-flops? No flip-flops when you are meeting royalty? though I guess the no-tube-tops is just assumed.

  44. Mainetarr said,

    Never assume anything with K2, Linda. K2 is a little out there. When I called him (Mark) last night from the Maineiacs, the modest little fellow never said a word, I had to read about it in the paper. He was still a little high from it this morning, too. I think we should have a little celebration one night this week to toast/roast him. Maybe some pinky flipping Allen’s is in order. Bulldog?? Where are you, you little partier? Can you make it in town for a celebratory drink?

  45. Linda said,

    Cool! So he’s not in St Tropez then?

  46. K2 said,

    Nope, he just landed in Belize. I hope Pablo shows him a good time.

  47. Daveyou said,

    Congrats Mark. I think it’s time you pursue syndication.

  48. LaFlamme said,

    Ah, rumors of my weeping have been greatly exaggerated. I didn’t shed a tear until I found out the beers weren’t free.

  49. oopsy said,

    What’s this about a celebration?

  50. LaFlamme said,

    Yeah! What’s this about a celebration?

  51. K2 said,

    Cash bar?!? O! the humanity . . .

    Any perquisites? Like access to the AP’s ‘copter? or somepin?

  52. AO said,

    I heard that the beers are free…tomorrow.

  53. LaFlamme said,

    The beers are always free. Tomorrow.

  54. Martha said,

    Congratulations Mark.. now I’ll have to go find the article and read it…

  55. lost sneaker said,

    It’s tomorrow- is it time for the free beer?

  56. LaFlamme said,

    No, that’s tomorrow.

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