Alpha omega

October 14, 2006 at 11:58 pm (Uncategorized)

I’ve never been one to be shrouded in mystery. As soon as I develop something worthy of silence, I make a bonehead move and the secret is revealed. My life is an open book. Not a very exciting one, but open all the same.

ao.jpgWith that in mind, it absolutely bewilders me that we’ve been together every day for nearly two years now and big secrets remain. The biggest? What the hell does AO stand for? And how has one of our founding bloggers managed to hold on to that information for so long? Is she deep in hiding with the Witness Protection Program? Is she an ambassador from another planet?

As much as I adore the woman, I’m putting a bounty on her head. Anyone who can crack the AO code gets free drinks for a year and a personal parking spot out front. I mean, come on. Unless the moniker stands for “anal obstruction,” how embarrassing can it be?

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93 Comments

  1. brenda said,

    oh, don’t get me started- again!

  2. brenda said,

    Again? Oh!

  3. Bobbie said,

    Remember, Mark, she said that no one could ever get her drunk enough to reveal the meaning behind her use of AO. Catchy title for the post tho-the beginning and the end. I predict that everyone will guess, but she won’t give up her secret, Mark. The next time that you decide that you absolutely, positively just have to know something, better get better leverage than your pathetic attempts here cause it ain’t gonna work on her. And before you insinuate that I know the answer and am just not spilling the beans to aggravate you even though it would be fun to do, I don’t know.

  4. Weasel said,

    Who cares? What a wasted blog!

  5. brenda said,

    All Over
    And Over
    arms open,
    affection occasionally
    abounds onward;
    alluring, oblivious
    absurd obssession
    aching orifices
    alter otherwise
    analytical orientations,
    as our
    attention oscillates,
    amorous overtures,
    adventurous outbursts
    ambush, overwhelm,
    adroit orifices
    adjoin oncoming
    adept organ…..
    alive opulent
    ardor, overjoyed
    amazing outrageous
    audible outcry….
    acknowledge obligation-
    abide old-fashioned
    advice oracle:
    always ought
    alleviate oversight:
    acquire obstacle,
    apply overhead,
    adorn organ,
    anticipating orgasm’s
    accursed ooze,
    avoiding offspring
    and or
    acquired organisms

  6. brenda said,

    weasel:

    Forsake
    Uncivil
    Compulsive
    Keck

    Ornery
    Fallow
    Faultfinding

  7. brenda said,

    Absolutely Ornery

  8. pokerface said,

    AO = Ace in the hole

  9. Linda said,

    Weasel, are we boring you? You seem a little negative lately.

  10. AO said,

    SMOOCH!! I love you too, Weasel!

    Mark, It’s not embarassing at all. A woman’s got to have at least one secret in her life. I will tell you one thing, it’s not what it stands for, it’s the meaning behind what it stands for. Got it? 😉

  11. LaFlamme said,

    Yeah, I get it. There’s a story behind the appellation and I waaaaaaaaaaaaaant it!!! You’re amazing, though. A year and a half and it hasn’t shaken loose.

  12. Linda said,

    Secrets. There don’t seem to be many here, it’s all on the table. AO, our Mystery Woman!

  13. LaFlamme said,

    I’ve really got nothing. I’m thinking of becoming a cross dresser just so I can hide it from you people and have a secret to keep. What would I be, anyway? Size eight?

  14. Montel said,

    Another Orifice, perfect description

  15. LaFlamme said,

    Montel! Gosh we’ve missed you. Where’ve you been?

  16. Anonymous said,

    Montel has been thinking up zingers like post #14. It does take him a while to do that, if you have not noticed.

  17. Montel said,

    But I don’t get paid to write a phony column in which bloggers allegedly ask phony questions, just to try and set up a humorous response. So cut me a little slack.

  18. AO said,

    Cut you a little slack? What the hell for?

  19. Anonymous said,

    Montel/Dan, the only thing fake is your prosthetic phallus. I’m surprised you went with the black one, though.

  20. Anonymous said,

    AO, we want an answer, dammit!!! Don’t make me come over there and torture you like a Guantanamo inmate.

  21. K2 said,

    Oops. Those last two were me. I lost my settings when I dumped my c drive and reloaded Windows. Man, does Microsoft suck ass.

  22. AO said,

    K2, I’m not giving it up. But, maybe if the torture was of a more pleasant sort…

  23. Gil said,

    Montel/Dan doesn’t have anything better to do than rant on other’s blogs because he lacks the soul, talent, and wit needed to keep others interested in one of his own. His inane drivel would be shot down for the pathetic meanderings of a warped mind beaten into submission by envy of those who have strived to make a difference in theirs and others lives. He will die alone and unnoticed in his sad little filthy apartment and be interrred in a Boot Hill type cemetery, ungrieved, unmissed, and unloved.
    Or maybe he’s just an asshat.

  24. Gil said,

    Once upon a time in a town not so far away, a young lady orders a Coffee brandy at the local drinking establishment. The bartender, being of the public school educated breed of misfits known to frequent this particular town, dutifully fills the request of the quiet woman. He slides the drink along the bar and she takes a sip.
    In the history of time there have been explosions that could be seen from space and were duly noted in the log books of sentinent beings with comprehensions beyond mere mortals. Krakatoa in 1883, the giant meteorite of Tunguska, Siberia in 1908, and Fat Man and Litle Boy (no not Dan and K2), spring to mind as the biggest. The explosion that happened in that small burg on that fateful day dwarfed these by comparison. The Earth was shook unto it’s foundations, it felt as if the heavens themselves were rent in twain. The sun was bloked (or hid as some say) by the cloud of ash and dust thrown up by the explosion. And no one will ever forget the horrific bellowing. Over and over again like a klaxon of the gods themselves-

    “ALLEN’S ONLY!!!!!”

    just a guess

  25. Linda said,

    K2, glad to see you survived the c drive dump.

  26. Linda said,

    Gil, your muse is with you tonight I see.

  27. LaFlamme said,

    Hey, Montel. When’s the last time I had a humorous response to anything in here? Here’s some breaking news for you: I’m not the funny one. I’m just a host blessed by some very funny regulars. Good for me, sad for uninspired mooks like you. Come on over here so I can slap your mishappen, bald head.

  28. jarheaddoc said,

    Man, looks like MT still has the secret word to post as Mark

  29. LaFlamme said,

    There’s a secret word? How come I never get the memos on these things!

  30. Linda said,

    Ah, we’re not that into memos around here, are we?

  31. AO said,

    Nope, sorry Gil, that’s not it. Lovely little ditty, though.

  32. Gil said,

    Don’t make me write a story about your aching orifices.

  33. Linda said,

    Oh, good news, “Jaws” is on TV. So much for an early night. I’m a sucker for this movie, whatever time it’s on. May have to watch it in bed so I can pull the blankets over my head for the scary bits.

  34. Linda said,

    Too late.

  35. Bobbie said,

    I’ll cut Montel some slack-with the dullest knife in the drawer.

    And I’m just as bad about memos as everyone else seems to be around here.

  36. brenda said,

    “…being of the public school educated breed of misfits known to frequent this particular town,…”

    so snobby & arrogant ,
    you guys never criticise anyone who is obnoxious, unless you think it’s Dan

    Dan IS missed by someone.
    I don’t know him but I miss his blogging

  37. Gil said,

    “so snobby & arrogant ,
    you guys never criticise anyone who is obnoxious, unless you think it’s Dan”

    I criticize ANYONE who is obnoxious, like Brenda when she has to remind us all how noble it is to work for minimum wage and let’s not forget that she is a native American. Shut up Brenda, it was meant to be humorous. But now you have ruined that by being obnoxious. I used the phrase to indicate that the bartender wasn’t so smart. Being an educator I would assume (guess what that gets ya) that you would appreciate a bit of artistic license in the phrasing that adds detail to a story. Now I bid you good day.
    In the eloquent words of da Weasel
    http://tinyurl.com/y4de2u

  38. K2 said,

    So it’s not noble to work for the minimum wage, if that’s all one can get? Cripes, get rid of welfare AND bash the low-income workers. Now there’s social policy for you. Wow.

  39. Gil said,

    I never said there was anything wrong wth working for minimum wage as a teenager or as an entry level employee. It’s the losers who stay there and whine about it that are asshats. Unemployment is at 4.6% which is basically full employment seeing as there are about 5% or so that will never be gainfully employed. If you can’t find a job that pays more than that as an adult with work experience, then you aren’t looking. Now put away the pipe and bite me hard K2.

  40. K2 said,

    You are the model for America, Gil. A bombastic rage-aholic for the ages. I can only imagine how loud you must be in person. *shudder*

  41. brenda said,

    gil, who’s being too serious?

  42. Richie said,

    Gil has got it exactly right. Minimum wage was never intended to support a family or be a source of income for an extensive period of time. It most assuredly was not meant to be a “living wage”. I’ve had minimum wage jobs; my very first job was in a grocery store working for 2.15$ an hour. Didn’t take me long to realise I wasn’t going anywhere quickly !

    There is nothing wonderful or honourable about being on a minimum wage; except for teens just starting out, or people moving up from no wage at all. I make considerably more than minimum wage; I have a nice house and a new car, and I’m damn proud and snooty about what I worked-for and earned. Someone may have more money & stuff than me, but I don’t care. I got mine and I earned it !

    People try to make out like its a prideful thing, or ‘honourable’, because they know they’ll never achieve much of anything and they need that sop to their ego to cover that otherwise empty space inside. Oh well, I don’t care. Just make sure my fries and burger are served nice and hot. Oh, and sweep the fllor to, will ya ? Thank you.

  43. "The Weasel" said,

    Hey AO…
    It seems as though Dan http://www.frontiernet.net/~joe14580/manzire%20boobs.jpg has been using my name again. What a Fat Bastard

  44. K2 said,

    Hey, that’s right: Weasel vs. “The Weasel”

    It’s all clear to me know. Just like Richie tossing Gil’s salad. That ain’t ranch dressing, folks. . . .

  45. Linda said,

    What are you saying K2 — have we been infiltrated?

  46. K2 said,

    Yes, we are on full Fat Bastard Alert.

  47. Linda said,

    Code Yellow?!

  48. Gil said,

    Methinks thou dost poketh thy unemployed nose in a bit too loudly there Mister Mom.

  49. Montel said,

    At least he’s not taking welfare money for his kid, Gil! He can afford and does pay his own way. You could take a lesson from him.

  50. Gil said,

    Bite me fat boy. My kid receives no more than any other special needs child in the school system. Actually less since our income prevents us from the very forms of funding that you accuse me of using. Any excess such as therapies, and Psycholgists/Psychiatrist, and medications are either covered by insurance which we pay, not the state, or it comes out of my pocket. Can you make the same claim yourself welfare Queen? I think not. Now climb back into your rathole on Main St and hope that we never actually meet face to face to discuss why my kid is of no concern to you fuckwad.

  51. Gil said,

    To the other bloggers I would like to apologize for getting nasty and rude with HWWNBN. And K2, I do hope you realize that I am only poking you where I know you are sensitive. Nothing actually personal.

  52. jarheaddoc said,

    Montel, K2 is doing a very honorable thing by staying home with his kids. He is raising his own kids, not passing them off on someone else to raise.

    And as I’ve said before, forgive your father for having sex with your mother and move on, life is so much easier after you do that. Most every other male I know did this around the age of twelve. You’re how old mentally now?

  53. brenda said,

    “… like Brenda when she has to remind us all how noble it is to work for minimum wage…”
    I don’t remember ever doing that? Seems like at best I’m being misconstrued or taken out of context?
    I do remember saying to some people in a group recently – that I can’t imagine Gil being with- that generally there’s satisfaction in work, that work itself is worth doing, people in general do get satisfaction out of doing work especially when they can see some kind of results or progress from it, money is tnot the only satisfaction of work, not even the most important source of satisfaction. I have said that before, but I don’t remember talking about the nobility of minimum wage. I have said also that more WORK is done by people who receive less money for it, and the ones getting PAID most are often NOT DOING so much actual WORK —which is why the ideal of capitalism, as some people consider a spiritual / moral value, is flawed.

  54. K2 said,

    Gil, you crossed my Point of No Return long ago, and your Our View comments recently sealed the deal permenantly. I genuinely dislike you, so I’m not too concerned what your motives are. Besides, you’re obviously bipolar, although far more Mr. Hyde than Dr. Jekyll.

    Continue to prod my achilles if you must. I choose to not kick it up a notch with you, which I could do if I wanted, but you’re just simply not worth it.

    jd, Montel was actually defending me. I think. Regardless, I know what I do every day as a stay-at-home dad, so why I even ever bother to try to defend it, well, that’s my own demon to contend with.

    Although it is interesting that I don’t get any shit from women for doing what I do, just kudos.

    Such is life.

  55. K2 said,

    In a “man’s” world. You know, the one with all the wars going on, with more to come?

  56. Gil said,

    Oh no!! K2 doesn’t like me!! Whatever will I do? Now where did I put my Seppuku sword.

  57. jarheaddoc said,

    Ah, from what I understand, it’s a midline plunge, right to the hilt, then a sweep left and right, your choice of which way first. K2 can be the guy who will behead you if you should utter an unmanly sound of disbeleif at trying to show the world your guts.

  58. montel said,

    try pills

  59. Gil said,

    No JD, it can’t be K2. It has to be someone with honor, not a midwife.

  60. Gil said,

    “In a “man’s” world. You know, the one with all the wars going on, with more to come?”

    That’s exactly the type of world nancy boy. What would you suggest, a quilting bee to decide if Islamic extremists should rule the world? Try your bong banging and Mr Mom crap under the Taliban and Shariah. You’d be stoned alright, but I don’t believe you’d like it. Hate me or not, I could really care less, but you can’t hide your head in the sand and pretend that the world is not a violent place.

  61. Linda said,

    “It has to be someone with honor, not a midwife”?

    I’m just glad not everyone in my world focuses on the harsh side of life like you do. What could you be thinking, to say that there’s no honor in midwifery? People should let their life speak, it’s so much more eloquent than bombastic rantery.

  62. K2 said,

    Ummm, I said the world IS a violent place, O Loud and Crazy One. And my point is, it’s about time women ran some of the show, since men have fucked up this world for thousands of years. As Robin Williams said, “If a woman were president, there’d be no more wars. Just intense negotiations every 28 days.”

    And I didn’t use the word ‘hate,’ but if the shoe fits. . . .

  63. K2 said,

    And Linda, Gil deems himself a quasi-Buddhist. Can you think of anything more hypocritical? He’s the antithesis of the Buddha on every level.

  64. brenda said,

    how ironic.
    I’ve heard that Buddhism is the only religion that has never used violence to spread it’s beliefs.

    Also, I read a little tiny news article about 10 years ago, which stated that Muslim soldiers were destroying giant Buddhist mountain carvings,and I wondered then why no one was stopping them? I figured, Christians may agree with the Muslims, that the statues were “idolatry” and weren’t inclined to stop them.
    Aren’t there people who value the mountain statues as archeological landmarks?

  65. jarheaddoc said,

    Gil, for someone who often claims “I mean no ill will to anyone” you sure rant a lot.

    And since you’re such a bastard about definitions, here’s one for you that explains midwifery quite well:

    http://www.womenshealthchannel.com/midwife.shtml

    Combine that with the noun definition of honor and I can very easily say that when you claim K2 has no honor, you ARE FUCKING WRONG!

    http://education.yahoo.com/reference/dictionary/entry/honor;_ylt=AgWWC4uBOjObi6J0Y58PtIOsgMMF

    Two more for you:

    http://education.yahoo.com/reference/dictionary/search?ei=utf-8&fr=slv1-wave&p=buddhism

    http://education.yahoo.com/reference/dictionary/entry/hypocrisy;_ylt=Ask065vvGc6f_PVJuSldFOaugMMF

  66. jarheaddoc said,

    Gil is really just spouting off because he’s running scared that his precious Republican party’s growing self-destruction is going to lead to -dare I say it? Oh, fuck yeah!-Democrats having an equal chance to ruin the country!

  67. Linda said,

    I usually just let rants on the blog roll right over me, but Gil, you pissed me off when you dissed midwives. Even if they were an unintended peripheral victim of your spleen.

  68. K2 said,

    Next thing you know, he’ll be dissing Ent Wives. Poor Treebeard.

    Yah, jd, I must admit, I certainly want the Rs to loose, but the Ds have their work cut out for them. If they get power, they need to move the country forward, not hog-tie it in investigations and impeachments and all that stuff that’s really all in the past. We need solutions, and we need ’em pronto.

    And isn’t it ironic that we invaded Iraq for their possible development of WMDs, yet didn’t go after Iran or North Korea? Really, Bush is 0 for 3.

  69. jarheaddoc said,

    You want an honest opinion of why we’re in Iraq and not North Korea?

    The first reason is that china would not tolerate the invasion of that country, plain and simple, and things would get shitty pretty quickly. The United STates has pledged to defend Taiwan and the chinese aren’t happy about this and a nuclear exchange could take place pretty quickly.
    We also have a huge trade imbalance with the Chinese and China is considered an emerging economy whose existence is good for the American economy.

    The second is that Iraq is a thorn in GW’s side simply because it was unfinished work from his father’s presidency. The elder bush accomplished his military goals by kicking Iraq out of Kuwait and would have kept rolling onto Baghdad had world opinion let him, but there were accusations that the coalition was ‘slaughtering Arabs needlessly”

    Iran is also a holdover from a previous Republican presidency, and we supported Iran when it was convenient for us to do so, then switched sides when things got messed up politically and threw our weight behind Iraq and Saddam Hussein. Saddam spent eight years fighting with Iran and economically ruined his country. What better way to get back at an enemy than to use someone else to fight your battles?

    I can see where Iraq would be a stepping stone to the invasion of iran. The problem has become the iraqis who have stood up and fought and bogged our troops down. How can you not expect people to defend their homeland from people they’ve consdiered enemies for several generations now?

    And before anyone gets his undies in a bunch, I think our troops are doing a damn good job in a truly shitty situation. I just don’t think they should be there.

    It’s a sad situation when a country claims itself to be the world’s only superpower and a bunch of people considered pissants are kicking our asses every day.

    As for solutions? I agree with you, what’s past is past, and both sides need to start talking to the other. And listening to their constituencices.

  70. K2 said,

    Good points, jd, and by no means do I think we should’ve invaded NK — it’s just Bush’s premise for the Iraq war that kills me. Based on his ‘logic,’ we should’ve hit the other two Axes of Evil first.

    Look, Kim is a psycho from hell, but, honestly, can you blame him for wanting nukes? It assures a dictator’s surivival. Just ask Saddam. . . .

  71. K2 said,

    No Gil? *bawking chicken*

  72. AO said,

    Hey!! You guys are waaay off topic!

  73. AO said,

    But…I AM just kidding. 🙂

  74. Linda said,

    Oh I don’t know — the meaning of AO’s moniker to the political rationale (so called) in the middle east and Asia — we’ve made bigger leaps than that, dozens of times, easy for us as falling off a log.

  75. K2 said,

    Anamolous Orations

  76. K2 said,

    Not even close. ‘Anomalistic.’ Shit.

  77. Linda said,

    Adventurous Offerings

    Atavistic Orifice (no sorry I got carried away on that one)

    Alliterative Onomatopoeia (and chances are slim on that spelling)

  78. AO said,

    Adventurous Offerings…I like that one…hmm….K2, I MAY just have to rethink the meaning behind AO.

  79. K2 said,

    Utter passion?

    Aaa!!!

    Ooo!!!

    Just wonderin’ . . .

  80. Nadine said,

    Always On-time?

    American Original?

    Anchovy (sp?), Onion? (As the official pizza girl 🙂 )

    Allen’s Overdose?

    Or could it simply be the title of this blog…which is very clever — Alpha Omega!

    I’m clueless…and “hi” again.

  81. LaFlamme said,

    You know what’s Absolutely Outlandish about all this? I thoroughly enjoy it when political arguments erupt in here. To you, it’s an argument. To me, it’s a range of ideas. I learn more by listening to passionate people debate their ideals than I do through any form of analysis. I’m non-commital to a fault, but I secretly take sides. It’s a sickness and I may one day seek help. But for now, rage on people.

  82. jarheaddoc said,

    K2, gil will make his presence known again.

    I got to thinking a little bit more about what I said about the US being the world’s only superpower. First, who the hell thought that up, to call us that?

    I beleive it was the Elder Bush who said something about the United States being the world’s policeman?

    Now what do you do when you play King of the Hill? You try to knock off the asshole on top, right? Well, it seems like a lot of people and countries in the rest of the world are looking at the United States as that asshole on the top of the hill.

    I understand that foreign policy has to be a large part of any administration’s agenda, but what about taking care of our own? How many billions of dollars are sent overseas in foreign aid every year when there is poverty and hunger in America?

    Domestic policy is jut not a priority for the Bush administration

  83. K2 said,

    You got that right, brother.

  84. K2 said,

    From Krauthammer, on North Korea. He’s got a damn good point. The genie’s been unleashed anyway.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/10/19/AR2006101901271.html

  85. jarheaddoc said,

    Hey, just for the sake of argument, K2, why have we kept Japan on such a short leash as far as their constitution when we didn’t really do the same thing to Germany after WW2?

  86. K2 said,

    I think nuking two of their cities and crushing their soul in he process had something to do with it, along with the fact that they attacked us really for no reason at all.

    I rarely agree with Krauthammer, but I think a nuclear Japan makes sense.

    And isn’t is wierd that we all worry about the Middle East, when, really, Asia is the bigger tinderbox.

    Regardless, we are right back to having to really worry about nukes. Personally, I think we were actually safer when it was just us versus the Russians. They controlled roughly half the world, and we had the other half. Now it’s a fucking free for all.

  87. jarheaddoc said,

    Jesus, how true that is! Now there are nuclear weapons that you know have disappeared that the russians either can’t or won’t account for.

    Asia wasn’t a priority in World War Two and it really hasn’t been that much of a priority since, with the possible exception of vietnam, and that was a half-assed attempt by the politicians. That whole experience is a classic example of a determined people fighting for their land and not being willing to have foreign masters, whether they were other Asians or Europeans or Westerners.

    And as far as a comment for the last paragraph of #86, I’ll offer this: at least back then we knew who the enemy was

    You/re right, Asia is scary. The Muslim population is huge over there and both Inida and Pakistan have the bomb.

    Maybe you can tell me who said words to this effect: I’m not scared of the guy with ten nuclear bombs, I’m scared of the guy with one or two.

  88. jarheaddoc said,

    I can hear you now, gil, I know, I’m a bunch of dirty words and what not, but if this isn’t graphic proof that your precious Republicans are falling apart at the seams, maybe you’re the one with your head in the sand:

    http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1548729,00.html?cnn=yes

  89. K2 said,

    Like Gil would even read a Time article. He only reads news that agrees with his viewpoints.

  90. jarheaddoc said,

  91. K2 said,

    An article on Pat Tillman’s brother, who thinks Bush and Co. are total idiots.

    http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2633793

  92. jarheaddoc said,

    Friendly fire incidents are very bad for the career of an officer, K2. The only experience I can relate it to is what happened to the careers of Marine Corps officers who had a marine that suffered heat stroke: said officer’s career was over pretty much on the spot.

  93. moresports said,

    You’ve been meaning to find out more about sports, but weren’t sure where to start searching. Look no further! It’s all available here.

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