Stiffy

October 21, 2006 at 10:11 pm (Uncategorized)

Why are all things related to the male genitalia funny? Seriously, we’ve been giggling every time someone says “wood” or “stiff” since we were ten years old. And we still giggle. The evolution of man has been amazing and yet the reproductive organ is just hilarious. If it continues to be hilarious after four hours, consult your doctor or a prostitute.

PROVIDENCE, R.I. — A retired handyman who sued over a penile implant that won’t remain in the down position will receive a $400,000 judgment after all, according to a state Supreme Court order.
Charles Lennon, 68, is expected to get a total of $950,000, with interest included, because of the Dura-II penile implant, which he says has been causing him pain and embarrassment for a decade. “I’m just glad it’s over. It’s been a pain,” Lennon said of the legal battle with the implant manufacturer, Dacomed Corp., and its insurance company. “These guys have been insulting me, embarrassing me, treating me like a dog. The only way they can say they are sorry is by paying. That’s the only way you can hurt guys like that.”

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36 Comments

  1. Linda said,

    So-o-o-o …. be careful what you wish for, then?

  2. Mainetarr said,

    That guy sounds like a prick.

  3. K2 said,

    Is that a 10-year boner in your pocket or are you happy to see me?

  4. Mainetarr said,

    That’s funny, a ten year old boner. Permanent pitching of the tent. He couldn’t get the implant removed? How is it “over” now that he won a lawsuit? He still has a woody, no? So now he’s a rich prick???

  5. Mainetarr said,

    Where the heck is everyone this morning? Sure is quiet in here. Did you guys read the B section this morning? Good one—has anyone been on that Haunted Hayride in Scarborough yet? I hear it’s a scream. Seriously. Super scary. I don’t think I dare to go.

  6. Linda said,

    Quiet weekend for the blog. I checked in earlier but had nothing to contribute.

    Yeah, the b section was full of good stuff, really put me in the Halloween mood. Yesterday I was driving down Center St past that Halloween store where the Book Burrow used to be, and some ghouls were running in the road with signs.

    Good lists, Mark. What a listmaker you are!!!

  7. Mainetarr said,

    yeah, that Halloween store has a ton of stuff. “B” really put me in the Halloween mood too!!

  8. K2 said,

    You want Halloween creepy? Well, I was raking leaves in the sun around noon, and had set my bottle of St. Pauli girl on the deck in the sun, and when I went back to it and took a wallow, a felt things moving in my mouth. I spit it out (no comment) and looked at the half-filled bottle, and it had at least five flies in it, and that’s not counting the three or four I spit out. Never had that happen before. I hope I don’t shit maggots later. . . .

  9. Linda said,

    Flies don’t like PBR that much, do they, K2?

  10. Bobbie said,

    Gotta make a comment about the list of books not to read. I haven’t been able to read or watch Pet Sematary since it came out on film. I had just had my son and the kid who dies and then comes back looked just like my son. I had to get up and walk out of the movie.

    Every time I read Salem’s Lot, I remember getting to the part where the kid’s friend floats up to his window and wants to come in. I had just finished that part, turned out the lights and went to sleep when someone knocked on my window (I was in the first floor bedroom at the time) asking to be let in. I told the voice that I was going to let it in and that it needed to go away. This kept going on for about an hour and the voice kept getting angrier as it claimed to be my mother, using the excuse that she had forgotten her key and needed to be let in. I can’t remember what finally made me let her in (I wouldn’t open the curtains to verify that it was her, either), but I did. I couldn’t read Stephen King for about a month after that.

    MT, the guy couldn’t have the implant removed because the skin had started to grow into it. It would have been more painful to remove the skin from it than it would have been to keep it.

    K2, what’s worse than having flies in your beer is having them in your hot chocolate. They’re just going for the sugar in the fluid.

  11. Bobbie said,

    That should have been that I WASN’T going to let it in. Sorry about that.

  12. Linda said,

    I was just in the middle of a comment and went spastic — if it turns up, sorry about the repetition.

    IMHO, here is today’s WTF article from the SJ Living section, not sure if it’s in the on line edition.

    “Kids, tweens, teens, big sisters, even moms — Partying in pj’s” It starts with a sidebar list of ideas for grown-up get togethers: “What to do: Sip wine, receive at-home facials and pedicures, snack on sushi.”

    Without even looking at “what to wear” or “what to talk about”, already I’m feeling like I missed some kind of cultural wave. Is it just me that has never been to a pajama party where sushi was served? I mean I’ve slept at people’s houses, and can remotely imagine going to a pajama party (though I never have, since I was a kid), and God knows I’ve sipped (or even guzzled) wine and even done the salon stuff, but … sushi? I eat sushi, yes. But not at a pajama party.

    What about the rest of you? Please say it’s not just me.

  13. Linda said,

    By the way the article is from the AP. And by “adults”, now that I think of it, they probably mean 19 year olds, not people my age.

  14. Mainetarr said,

    I have had a couple of wine tasting pajama parties at my house, but I have never served sushi. Crabmeat dip and salmon on crackers are common at my house, but no sushi. Hmmm, don’t feel too bad about it Linda. Apparently I am behind the times as well.

    • Butch said,

      RH,Yep i agree-it was an act of self defense.40 seals armed to the teeth, and one ass hole in his nightie night clothes. Oh yeah, i forgot – the wives were hostile too.Not exactly the Son Tay raid, but heWeYTF.y-s we are Ranger Buddies, as there are far too few of us .jim

  15. Linda said,

    Thanks for the reassurance, MT. And now that I give it more thought, I HAVE been to a pajama party, it was in some incomprehensible place, Solon I think, and I’m still pretty sure we didn’t have sushi. Though after the wine and the jello shots, I guess it would be rash of me to swear it.

  16. LaFlamme said,

    Ahh! K2, I had that same beer experience, only with yellowjackets. That kind of thing should really turn a guy off beer, but it doesn’t.

  17. AO said,

    Bugs in your beer. What could be worse than than?

  18. Linda said,

    AO! Missed you!

  19. AO said,

    Aww, thanks. I’ve just been….busy.

  20. Spam-the other white meat said,

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    covetous ! bootstrapping ! aminobenzoic it’s amid ! michelangelo or appleton some crockery but boatswain , commendatory in pacifism in micron in salesman on fin see fisticuff see blustery but nan some eleazar but alan not thief and swirl , leer or philosophic be roam may clarity see aftereffect some paternal a

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  21. Mainetarr said,

    K2-you and Bulldog having fun at Fastbreaks? How are the levels of your blinker fluid? You crazy bastards. Sounded like a good time was being had by all.

  22. Crystal said,

    Mark, nice costume!! I see why you needed the red/white striped shirt! Pretty creepy

  23. K2 said,

    Yeah, but I got too tanked. The spliff put me over the top. I hadn’t eaten dinner, and only had a bowl of soup all day, so I got a little too tipsy. Basically, I was a victim.

    Ann was great. And I met Catsinjammies, too. Besides making her cry (really), we got along well.

    Just wish I remembered more of the Vikings game. I read this morning that we crushed Seattle. Regardless, me head hurt long time.

    Flies in my beer, a hangover . . . I can’t wait for next weekend. (There are lab rats smarter than me.)

  24. Linda said,

    You made Catsinjammies cry? You brute!

  25. K2 said,

    Not on purpose, I can assure you. It’s all good between me and her, though.

  26. Linda said,

    I was teasing. Clearly it had to be an accident or misunderstanding.

  27. K2 said,

    Oh, I know, but I still felt bad about it.

  28. K2 said,

    Wow, I even got billed $10 for chicken wings I never ordered or ate. I really should start loooking at my bar receipts more often. Not that I particularly remember paying.

  29. AO said,

    But do you remember if you came home with your clothes ON?

    • Jobeth said,

      Not for now. But give it a couple of months and we shall see new portable laptops with full-load CPUs on the market, sucscesors for the Sony Vaio S or the Asus U36SD

  30. K2 said,

    I wish I’d remember that drinking too much makes one feel like shit the next day. Oof.

  31. AO said,

    K2, Bacon and Eggs and drink the grease. That thought has always made me feel better when I feel awful the morning after. Just keep repeating it to yourself…bacon and eggs and drink the grease, bacon and eggs and drink the grease…

  32. Linda said,

    Oh God, I am gagging. Is that the point — to empty your stomach rapidly?

  33. AO said,

    Something like that. 🙂

  34. Anna Brooks said,

    Google is the best search engine

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