Roadhouse blues

October 26, 2006 at 1:23 am (Uncategorized)


Those Sun Journal guys are sneaky dogs. I had no idea they had sneaked in a function where readers can post comments in reaction to a news story. The whole thing snuck up on me. In fact, I knew nothing of it at all until one of you alert bloggers called to tell me I was being trashed in there.

Perhaps “trashed” is a strong word. I was mostly being chastised like a school boy for using the word “snuck” when I probably meant “sneaked.” Probably. And later, a woman with a low, throaty whisper left a message on my phone saying, in effect (or affect?): “I normally love what you write. But I can’t take it anymore. Snuck is not a word! Do not ever use that word again!”

She may spoken in the smoky voice of a sex line operator, but I think she was serious. Use sneak one more time, mister, and the next thing to sneak up on you will be a bullet between your shoulder blades. I think I need a security team. Who’s with me? I say, who’s with me? Anyone? Little help over here…

But I digress. If there’s one thing I miss about being part of the Sun Journal blog — and there are few — it’s being displayed so publicly, we’re almost vulnerable. Here in The Screaming Room, it’s like a familiar, well-lit bar, where we post bouncers at the doors and invite in only members of our exclusive club.

barbrawl.jpgBack at the SJ, we were out there in a roadhouse along a dusty road, where any psychopath with an Internet connection could reel in with hate in his blood and a razor blade in his shoe. Or HER shoe, as was often the case.

We don’t get many strangers around these parts. The people who want to come at us with broken bottles or brass knuckles don’t know we exist at all. And it’s too bad, because we’ve always welcomed those loveable brawlers. And sometimes dammit, we miss them.


  1. Mainetarr said,

    yeah, well, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, it’s not the same here at the Lost Sole anymore. Too many MIA’s and no Dan/HWWNBN/Montel–or at least not enough of him. Boredom has snuck up on us.

  2. Mainetarr said,

    By the way, no offense to the blog TOPICS, Mark. I am talking about the fiesty RESPONSES we used to get, the bantering (not the outright mean stuff), and the totally different opinions. Sure, we went off topic all the time, we still do, but at least when I posted something as a question, actively seeking a response, it wasn’t answered with a “who cares”, lots of people actually posted-it was funny to see the different opinions. Ah well, things change, you gotta roll with it I suppose. But you are right, we need more “psychopaths with an internet connection” making a pit stop here once in a while. How can we reel in some fresh psychopaths?

  3. K2 said,

    Still, if you look at the SJ blogs, it’s almost all the same old folks over their, and minus Christine, they’re all pretty damn lame. Very few new people enter their blogs, although they occasionally get a stand-alone post or two from left field.

    In fact, there’s not one blog over their that has a bigger cast of characters than in here. Fresh blood is good, no doubt, but you can lead a horse to the Internet, but you can’t make him blog. Or something like that.

    Whatever happens, happens. Blog on. . . .

  4. Linda said,

    I know a few psycohopaths, and a lot of feisty neurotics, and have tried to interest a few of them but none thought they would want to be involved with a blog. One likely prospect checked out the blog on a really “dull” day — lots of long, unconnected comments with no connecting theme — and said, thanks but no thanks.

    I guess K2’s right — blog on.

  5. brenda said,

    I think that your Literary License allows you the right & freedom & privelege to use words like “snuck” occasionally when it fits. Some people are just looking for a reason to criticise someone else. I don’t know how that actually makes them feel smart?

    I’ve learned that for me it isn’t really such a good feeling to “win” an argument when it involves putting someone else down. I remember when I was really pissed & disagreeing & said so outright in the old blog- and the next thing I knew, the guy that I was disagreeing with was gone after suggesting his own death was imminent- and then I was a bit more reluctant to fight with people on the blog because as vitriolic as someone may be, I don’t know their mental state. Generally, negative thinking, anger, criticising others, could be symptoms of depression.
    But when everyone tries to be “nice” you guys find it boring……
    On the other hand, when someone on the blog joked that he might roll a pig’s head into a building on Lisbon street, I saw that statement & chose to ignore it at the time- because I thought that he knew exactly what he was saying & was deliberately trying to rile me (me! specifically!?)& I don’t like being manipulated …but maybe if I’d reacted with my true thoughts, it might have made him stop & think? Or given him the rise (attention) he wanted so he wouldn’t have done it?

  6. herb's ghost said,

    I am dead & it’s your fault. I’ll come back to haunt you forever.
    happy halloween

  7. the first brenda's ghost said,

    I’m still here too. Don’t you feel that chill air I’m blowing?

  8. dan said,

    you assholes killed my spirit! buncha saucy sheep-biting popinjay! wimpled beetle-headed whey-face! venomed scurvy-valiant flirt-gill! In civility you seem’st so empty. You should be women, and yet your beards forbid me to interpret that you are !

  9. oh, yeah? said,

    goatish motley-minded lewdster!

  10. the otherbrenda's ghost said,

    currish ill-nurtured foot-licker!

  11. herb's ghost said,

    oh, you felt that, did you?

  12. more insults said,

    leathern-jerkin, crystal-button, knot-pated, agatering, puke-stocking, caddis-garter, smooth-tongue, cheese pouch!

  13. lost shoe said,

    It’s kinda lonely in here lately, just me & the ghosts of past bloggers. I was wondering if you started a new blog somewhere else & didn’t tell me about it?

  14. shucks said,

    you can’t write “snuck”

    no luck, what a schmuck

    stuck in the muck

    cluck, cluck, cluck, cluck

    what the fuck,


    they’re all gettin’ druck

  15. LaFlamme said,

    Wow. I see the glue sniffing has begun. Good for you!

  16. LaFlamme said,

    When we were blogging on the SJ site, I was often more inclined to write something of specific interest to SJ readers. That way, Joe Buttplug or Jane Rolling Pin could stumble on us purely through interest in the topic. We were easy to find.

  17. Linda said,

    Are you thinking about packing the fine china and moving back, Mark? We’re with you, either way.

  18. Linda said,

    Actually let’s throw a few plates, hell with packing it up! As long as you double wrap your lists and the sex toys to bring along, we can be happy anywhere. Or ranting miserable anywhere. Well you know what I mean. Your house is our house.

  19. K2 said,

  20. Linda said,

    That asshat’s been out in the Florida sun too long. I hope somebody bites his neck soon.

  21. Mainetarr said,

    I second that Linda. Guy’s a douchebag.

  22. Martha said,

    Just popping in to say hello.. I’ve been generally keeping a low profile.. I got tired of getting my head bit off.
    I was just thinking.. the current lot of blogs on SJ are pretty old. Our view has something new most everyday, but the individual blogs haven’t had anything new in over a month. At least when Mark was blogging there, there was new fodder for the mill everyday.
    I’ll be around…. occasionally.

  23. Linda said,

    I just read your post again, Mark, and I notice that you were asking for a security team. You need some people. I can picture you sauntering (you do saunter, don’t you?) into a public event, saying to the doorman, I brought some of my people, that won’t be a problem, right? You could meet any intimidating stranger with confidence, wave vaguely behind you and say, these are some of my people. Your people would have your back. Your people would have change for the parking meter. Your people would close in around you when things got tense, when readers with flashing eyes and squared jaws marched toward you menacingly, umbrellas fisted mid-shaft. Can’t you see it now? I can. Do you need a roster of people?

  24. Linda said,

    Hey Martha, how are you? still working with the weather stuff?

  25. AO said,

    Yeah, he saunters all right. He saunters when he knows there’s a story out there that you can tell. When he finds you (in his sauntering way) he then, he swoops down on you ( with that sauntering gait) and he… HETALKSREALLYFAST..till…your head is spinning and you give up EVERYTHING except what….AO means.

  26. LaFlamme said,

    Ha! I didn’t understand any of that. I don’t know if I saunter, scurry or sort of rush forward like a piece of siding blowing in the wind. I just try to get where I’m going. But yeah. I need some people.

  27. K2 said,

    Oof. I guess I better not post any scientific articles debunking Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy.

    Mark, what about the protective orb the aliens gave you? Made in Mars, the junk.

  28. Martha said,

    Hey Linda, Yup, still doing the “weather stuff” just on a different shift.
    If anyone is interested I have the dates I’m planning to be in Maine next summer

  29. Linda said,

    Martha, I have a hard time knowing what I’m doing two hours from now. When the time gets closer, remind us that you are coming, OK?

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