October 30, 2006 at 9:02 pm (Uncategorized)

While Mark is still frolicking in the woods of Vermont, he left me this post for you all to ponder.  Happy Halloween!!   

I wrote the following script for a Halloween performance in Vermont called “The Haunted Forest.” A dead woman named Julia is summoned from the grave, blah blah blah. Now that it’s show time, they invited me out and offered to put me up in a local bed and breakfast. Very cool. I called the B&B this afternoon to make sure we were all booked in. The owner of the place knew who I was immediately and said: “I wanted you to know that my mother’s name was Julia and she lived in this house all her life. You may get to meet her when you’re least expecting it.”

So I guess I’m saying I may never come back from my trip. Vive the Lost Sole!

The Haunted Forest, 2006


Characters – 4:

Professor Bloodsworth;

Young, recently deceased Julia;

Two long dead Julias.


Bloodsworth: Tweed jacket, corduroys, a tie hung askew;

Young Julia: A white gown, powder or cream for the freshly dead pallor;

Long dead Julias: Rags that seem to drip from the body, gnarled hair, skeletal faces.


Headstones, crosses, dead flowers;

A simple pocket compass. A small box with dials.

Strobe light, sheet metal for thunder sound, fog machine


A small cemetery plot at the edge of the woods.


On the night of the waning moon in late October, Professor Bloodsworth is back in the Vermont woods at the small graveyard where lies buried his beloved daughter Julia. Half insane with grief, disheveled and haggard, Bloodsworth stumbles to the tiny cemetery. We can hear him sobbing as he approaches the graves. In pain and exhaustion, he falls to his knees in front of a headstone that looks newer than the rest.

Bloodsworth: “All my life I’ve committed to science. And now this! Now my beloved daughter is dead!” and sobs at the graveside a little longer.

Bloodsworth, raising his head again and shaking a fist: “I dedicated my life to unraveling the mysteries of the universe! Tonight I will summons the power of the cosmos and the secrets of gravity!

He stands, arms upraised, beseeching the sky.

Bloodsworth, shouting: “Julia!”

He pulls a compass from a pocket and checks the dial. He adjusts the dial on a small box he has carried here with him. He considers the sky once more.


Bloodsworth: “Julia! Come back to me! The moon is right! All the powers of the universe are aligned! Return to me, Julia. Return while the window is open!”


There is a flash of light and a sharp crack from the trees, like thunder and lightening that has come from somewhere other than the sky. Bloodsworth stumbles back. Fog rolls from the trees and he shields his eyes. He rights himself and stares at the trees beyond his daughter’s grave.

And she emerges from the darkness. She is pale with dark hair hanging over her face, but unmistakably Julia. She shuffles as if in a daze from the trees. The white gown seems to glow. She turns her gaunt face up toward her father, who waits with outstretched arms.


Bloodsworth: “Julia!”


She takes a few shuffling steps closer, staring and holding her own arms out.


Young Julia, in a flat, lifeless tone: “Yes. Julia. I am Julia.”


Bloodsworth, in a swoon, collapses to the ground and groans with unimaginable relief. On his knees, he holds his arms wide and waits for his treasured daughter to come to him.

Bloodsworth: “Julia! My darling. You’ve come back to me. We will be together always.”

Julia ambles closer. Closer. Closer still. And then, another sharp crack of thunder. Blinding light from the trees. A shadow emerges from the darkness.

This one is dressed darkly, with cloth in rags seeming to drip from the body. The face is bloodless and gaunt, a mere film of old flesh against bone. The mouth is a skeletal rictus. The dead woman stumbles from the woods with even less grace than the younger girl. Her arms are outstretched and her voice and thick and wet.


Long Dead Julia: “Julia,” she croaks in that gargling voice. “I am Julia.”


Young Julia collapses into her father’s arms, screaming. He is also screaming. But there is more thunder. There is another flash of light. And another ghoulish figure steps from the trees, her cerements rotting and flapping in the wind. She comes shuffling across the graveyard, moaning and reaching with black boned fingers. Her voice is even more brittle than that of the corpse who came before her. It is the voice of graveyard dirt.


Long dead Julia number two: “I… am… Julia…”

Long dead Julia number one: “Julia. I am Julia. Who has called me forth?”


And the dead women shuffle forth and then fall upon the screaming pair at the edge of the young girl’s grave. There is screaming and biting and ripping. There is more thunder and more lightening as more dead Julias respond to the call. But for the grieving father Bloodsworth, the final darkness has fallen, and the light fades from the scene.


  1. jarheaddoc said,

    Sounds like this guy should have had a crib note with his daughter’s first and last names on it. coulda saved him a lot of hassles

  2. brenda said,


    whenever I imagine the spirit-of-a-long-lost-loved-one being again present, he/ she doesn’t say his/ her name for me. I have to feel the essence of who it is. That’s the whole point.
    And I imagine that from the point of view of returning as a spirit, perhaps it’d be somewhat like waking up from sedation and the moment when you know but aren’t really sure you remember your name….

    but how do you present that to an audience? I couldn’t necessarily do any better. I haven’t really thought about it much.

  3. Mainetarr said,

    Goodmorning K2. How bout those Vikings? Just kidding. Happy Halloween everybody.

  4. K2 said,

    Go . . . Dolphins?!? Ugh. We no good.

    Professor Pudksi, in the Rape Room, with the gelatinous double dong. Right?

  5. jarheaddoc said,

    K2, I get this mental image of a mad scientist trying to find a way to make Jell-O harder every time you use gleatinous in a sentence.

  6. Bobbie said,

    Too bad that the Vikings lost last night, K2. Hard loss last night-sorta reminded me of the Bronco’s being picked apart by the Colts.

  7. K2 said,

    At least the Broncos scored some damn points and were in the game. We got spanked hard. Painfully hard.

    And one of the Vikings’ fans threw a beer bottle at a Patriot after a (yet another) touchdown. Brady yelled up angrily at the stands, but I haven’t heard if they caught the asshole. He should be permanently banned and should have assault charges filed against him.

    Colts at Pats next Sunday night. That’s gonna be some game. Take the over, for sure.

  8. K2 said,

    Another ‘show’ goes on. (Check out the Image Gallery on the left, mid-way down. Stellar, literally.)


  9. Bobbie said,

    Next Sunday’s game should be interesting, K2. Who do you think will win? Anyone betting for 70+ points in the game?

  10. K2 said,

    Gotta take the Pats at home on the mud, 37 to 31. 

  11. Bobbie said,

    That sounds about right, The Pats rarely lose at home. You can only hope for a cold front to freeze the dome loving Colts out with.

  12. Mainetarr said,

    K2, when are you going back to Fastbreaks?  Me want to go too.

  13. Bobbie said,

    What will Chris have to say about that one, MT? Does K2 need to run for his life?

  14. K2 said,

    Well, things have gotten weird. I didn’t type that second line in post #10. Smells like Dan. Who knew he (or whomever) was a techie hell-bent on libel? Anyhow, Bobbie can verify my claim, since she responded to my unadultered post, which merely mentioned the game. She knows.

    Obviously there’s a snafu with WordPress that’s been exposed. Regardless, I don’t appreciate the utter cowardice of fucking with my posts anonymously.

    MT, I still love you, regardless. ‘All you need is love. . . .’

  15. K2 said,

    Just look at the grammar: I always use the M — dash, and would never use 2 question marks. Always 1 or 3 in my world. A blatant forgery.

  16. K2 said,

    And I shall be looking into the legality of that unacceptable action, I can assure you.

  17. jarheaddoc said,

    Hmm, didn’t something suspicious happen like this the last time Mark left things in MT’s hands, K2? I know my mind is addled, but I distinctly recall being the TARGET that time around.

  18. K2 said,

    Me no like.

  19. Mainetarr said,

    Hmmmmmm, it’s either the ghosts of Halloween or the Asshat running the blog is messing with K2. My bet is on the Asshat. All fixed.

  20. Mainetarr said,

    By the way, why always 1 or 3? Is that some superstitious thing?

  21. Bobbie said,

    Something always seems to happen to the blog when Mark is gone. I was wondering about the additional lines in post #10 because it didn’t sound like you, K2. I’m glad to see that everything got corrected. And JD, it wasn’t your imagination about the last time that happened.

  22. K2 said,

    1 and 3 are odd, MT, just like your behavior.

  23. K2 said,

    And to set the record straight, sorry, Dan, for accusing you. I thought maybe it was your revenge since I defended MT yesterday morning, regarding the health-care argument.

  24. Mainetarr said,

    Sorry K2, I had put I love K2 up twice in my post that day, then they disappeared, but got no response, so I was just trying to be funny. No funny. Me no do blog anymore, either.

  25. K2 said,

    It ain’t the end of the world, but that was strange. You just don’t fuck with someone’s posts.

    I’m not mad, but am a bit disappointed. I’ll get over it, though, so don’t beat yourself up.

  26. Mainetarr said,

    Ahhh, I feel like shit about it now. I wouldn’t alter anything you or anyone wrote or anything, but I kept saying I love you for defending me, but you didn’t see it. I figured with Halloween and all, you would know it was me.

  27. K2 said,

    Well, as for pranks, you’re not in nearly as much trouble as Tom Connolly is. I’ve already posted my views in Our View. And Weasel, get this: He was my attorney for my PPD arrest. Can I pick ’em or what?

  28. K2 said,

    No, it was the front-page article I posted on. No big surprise, I support him, even though it wasn’t the brightest move ever. Neither was me mouthing off to the cops 6 years ago. We all screw up one way or another. All of us, every family, mistakes are made. It’s a cliche, but it’s true: Nobody’s perfect.

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