Just in time for Christmas

November 15, 2006 at 2:07 am (Uncategorized)

I once saw the gravestone of an infant listed for auction on eBay. Researching further, I learned that there were several used coffins up for bid as well. In case you didn’t catch it, I said USED coffins. Try getting THAT smell out with Febreeze.

While novelty items like that would make great conversation starters at a Halloween party, even the morbid side of me shies away from such immediate symbols of somebody else’s demise. Do I want a long dead infant toddling its way up my driveway in search of its grave marker? No, sir. I don’t. And I don’t want the occupant of that moldering, vacated coffin scratching at my bedroom window, either.

220045947106.JPGWith this in mind, here’s another item I won’t be bidding on. You can take a stab at it if you want to, but you don’t know where this stuff has been. Oh, wait. You do. It says right on the auction listing, and everybody knows there’s no lying in eBay.

This is haunted dirt dug from a witch’s grave. This was found behind an old cottage in the woods where odd sounds have been heard such as a woman sobbing, and at times a painful shriek can be heard like a man being gutted. Supposedly, this happened decades ago.
View Haunted Dirt Dug From Witch’s Grave Auction


  1. Mainetarr said,

    Who the hell would know what a man being gutted sounds like? Freaks, the lot of them.
    I can’t believe someone would buy this. Maybe I should put some of Milo’s poop on e-bay and tell everyone it is haunted by the ghost of rattling bones. Milkbones.

  2. Linda said,

    Sure why not, MT? There’s one born every minute!

  3. K2 said,

    Witch mud’s got nuthin’ on Mooseltoe.

    How about the war widows suing the Fed to get Wicca symbols on their Wiccan husbands’ graves at Arlington? In all fairness, they had better win.

    Did you know the whole ‘witch-riding-a-broomstick’ myth is historically derived from witches being deemed primitive dildo users by the Church and its followers? The broom represents the wooden phallus. Seriously.

    Not a Rush fan, but ‘Witch Hunt’ is a goodin.

  4. Nadine said,

    Yeah, I know, Marilyn Manson has his issues but I’m sure this didn’t help:

    When he was 8, one of his mom’s friends showed them an aborted fetus that had what seemed to be an image of an angel on it. Marilyn decided to take it to school for show and tell. He felt proud that he had a religious phenomenon in his hands and thought he’d impress his teacher and classmates. Needless to say, he was reprimanded and sent home for the day (apparently they hadn’t explained the Catholic religions stance on abortion!). He claims that was his first moment of religious disillusionment.

    Too bad Ebay didn’t exist yet. (Sorry for that, couldn’t resist!)

  5. LaFlamme said,

    Huh. I thought the witch-broom image began because they were known to reach up into the sky, imploring the earth gods to make the crops grow high. Now I don’t know WHAT to believe. And anyway, almost all the witch stereotypes come from the Christian propaganda campaign. Stupid Constantine.

  6. LaFlamme said,

    By the way, I gashed the knuckle of my right index finger to the bone last night and typing is a bitch. You will forgive me if my M’s appear as N’s and whatnot.

  7. Linda said,

    Yikes! that sounds painful. How’s the other guy? (just a joke)

  8. K2 said,

    You following Bishop’s lead in Alien II? How’d you do it?

  9. Richie said,

    Don’t ever believe a word K2 says. He’s so full of crap his eyes are brown.


  10. K2 said,

    I’m going stroaght from A&E’s bio on Halloween, bitch.

    And from your own source: Like they were flying? Only figuratively, you fuckhead:

    “Many flying ointments contained hallucinogenic ingredients. If a broomstick was rubbed with such potions and used for riding or masturbatory purposes, a sensation of flight would result as the poison easily penetrates the body through the vaginal and anal veins.”

  11. K2 said,

    And my eyes are brown. Brown as . . . bark.

  12. Bobbie said,

    Completely off topic, but very relevant since the Great National Smoke Out Day (or whatever the hell it’s called) is on Thursday.

    Just got back from the ER with a friend of mine. He was experiencing the signs of a heart attack-cold and clammy, numbness in his arms, shortness of breath, etc. When they ruled out a heart attack, they realized that he had an excess of nicotine in his system. The culprits? The nicotine patch and the lozenges that he had been taking for the last 3 days caused an overload to his system. Fair warning to all: if you use the patch to quit smoking, do not use anything else with nicotine in it while you wear the patch.

    Thankfully everything is ok with the friend and we can now joke about this morning, but he will now be very careful about things when he has that nicotine patch on.

    The public service announcement is now over with and we go back to our regular programming of guts, gore and creepy things.

  13. K2 said,

    What other things did he ingest, Bobbie?

  14. K2 said,

    Oh, the lozenges. Me no smart. Hope he’s okay.

    I need a morphine patch. And THC drops. For safety’s sake, of course.

    Seriously, if I could afford it, I’d weat good weed instead of smoking it. Smoke in your lungs really is a never good idea. Crap.

  15. Bobbie said,

    He’s doing good, K2. Other than some light headedness, he was back to his old self by the time I got him and his wife home.

    I remember in grade school when they brought in a dummy and you could see the internal organs, namely the lungs. They lit up a cigarette and showed how the smoke completely filled the lungs. It kept me from smoking until I was 20. Can’t explain why it didn’t work after that.

  16. Linda said,

    K2, what would you do with weed? Wear it? Eat it? Explain please

  17. K2 said,

    Eat it, and wear the morphine patch. I think. Me no type well.

    Cripes, I’m a bio grad, with a pre-med focus, yet I’m still a boozing reefer head. Go figure.

  18. AO said,

    K2, wort.

  19. Linda said,

    Yes, it’s totally ruining your typing K2. What are we going to do when we can’t understand you any more?:-)

  20. K2 said,

    I’m getting blocked again. Test. . . .

  21. K2 said,

    Okay, resume blogging, people.

  22. jarheaddoc said,

    You were simply preparing yourself for a career in medicine, K2. The medical field has one of the highest rates of drug and alcohol abuse.

  23. AO said,

    Haunted dirt was at the top of my Christmas list. But, I don’t know how I’d sleep with the sound of a man being gutted night after night. Guess I’ll pass.

  24. Linda said,

    I don’t want the used coffin either AO

  25. LaFlamme said,

    Oooh, the A&E Halloween special. I watched that down in Vermont. Or was it the history channel? No, wait. It was a scrambled porn channel. Forget I said anything.

  26. Mainetarr said,


  27. Mainetarr said,

    that was from Milo, he did that with his nose.

  28. Mainetarr said,

    How about thast big nephew of yours Mark? He’s almost as big as you are. And he farts as bad, too.

    Ghost Hunters is on SciFi, FYI.

  29. Linda said,

    Hey, great, another blogger! Is he a boozing reefer head too? his typing is funny. But that’s OK, it’s great to hear what’s on his mind.

  30. AO said,

    Ghost Hunters is from a few weeks ago…until 9:00. I truly wish they’d ax Brian. Swear to God! That guy bugs the crap outta me.


  31. Mainetarr said,

    He sends a big wet smooch out to you guys. He likes to get between me and my computer screen. He is attracted to his own picture on the screen saver apparently. Meatball….he’s 110lbs now.

  32. Nadine said,

    Hmmmm, why do I feel invisible? Didn’t that MM comment make anyone else as uncomfortable as it did me when I heard it for the first time? Or are you all just no longer shocked by anything (esp from him, lol). Or are you all just ignoring me? Haha. S’ok, happens often.

  33. Linda said,

    Well I’ll bite on that.
    No, MM probably can’t shock me. As for ignoring you, Nadine … nah. We are like a pack of feral dogs (no offense to all the dog lovers, I am a dog lover myself). It’s impossible to predict when we’ll fall on a dessicated bone, snapping and snarling to sink a fang into its crumbling juiceless edges; while stampeding past a steaming pile of bloody meat that SHOULD enthrall us but somehow, at this moment in time, doesn’t. There’s no explaining it, but it’s definitely nothing personal, mate.

  34. LaFlamme said,

    *wink* Hi, Nadine. DO IT! You know what I mean…

  35. Mainetarr said,

    Hey Nadine, I guess i wasn’t paying attention. I had this big furry head getting between me and my computer and I was distracted.

  36. Mainetarr said,

    I once watched a show about Marilyn Manson. He’s is definitely disturbed, no doubt about it. I guess that would have been enough to disturb him. Gak!

  37. Nadine said,

    Ahhhhhh!!! I feel sooo much better now! I just coudn’t have made it another day without y’all. I can FEEL the love! (Ok, now I’m bein a wise-ass…glad to know things are back to normal!) Heh!

    Thanks so much Mark! I just hope that ain’t talk from the barstool *wink* (haha!). Seriously though, nice boost to my ego, and I will indeed “DO IT”! 🙂

    MT you naughty girl!!!!!!!! #35?? I don’t even know what to say! I’m very rarely rendered speechless! Sheesh, and I thought MM was bad, hahaha!!

    Only you could say that & get away with it, By the way, can I borrow your dog sometime? Uh, I mean, I’ll babysit him any time you need…yeah, tha’s it… Hahaha!!

  38. Bulldog said,

    Hey Nadine- need some peanut butter?

  39. Bryon Edey said,

    This is my first time i go post. I collected so many interesting things in your site especially its discussion. From the tons of comments on your posts, I guess I am not the only one having all the enjoyment here! keep up the good work.Regards Is there a hobby that you have that could possibly be turned into a business? A large amount of at home jobs are based on some sort of hobby that has turned into a career.

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