I hate Old Navy

November 17, 2006 at 11:29 pm (Uncategorized)

oldnavyblonde.jpgEverybody hates something. It’s just biology, people. Our competitive spirits were designed to hate so we’ll recognize that which we love. I know people who hate carnivals. I know people who hate midgets. There are those out there who absolutely despise dogs and those who have nothing but spewing rage for fallen leaves.

Irrational hate is strangely healthy. If you hate airports, it’s probably because your deadbeat dad took off when you were a kid and you always envisioned him boarding the 747 to Houston while your mom worked two jobs to put baloney on the table. If you hate mice, you probably had a first grade teacher who extolled the virtues of a clean house while warning of the threat of vermin if you failed to sweep and mop. If you hate republicans, your old man was probably laid off by a fat cat cigar smoker when you were a lad and you will always remember the bitter breach between the haves and have nots.

For me, it’s Old Navy. I hate them to the extent where I’ll change the channel and throw the clicker across the room if one of their commercials appears on the television. I hate those shiny, happy people dressed so exquisitely and cavorting so joyously like Stepford families. I come from hand-me-down territory. We didn’t put on $350 turtlenecks just to go out and slide down a hill. We didn’t smile all prettily, with sparkling teeth and gleaming eyes while washing the car. We grimaced and wore our older brothers reeking coats because it was the only thing hanging in the closet. And we were glad to have it.

We had divorced parents and abusive uncles and everywhere we went, the real world punched us in the face. We suffered, scrounged, spit, bled and got dirty. We scrapped our way up and felt gnawing hate for the rich folk. We dreamed of better days and now, Old Navy commercials are everywhere reminding of how we suffered. I hate them. And I feel better having said so. I welcome the things you hate. Tell me all about it. Help me to help you.

I’m listening.

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76 Comments

  1. Mainetarr said,

    Musically, I hate Meatloaf and Kenny Rogers. Bastards, the both of them. I am (patting myself on the back) one of the funniest people to watch tv with, cuz I make fun of everthing. It’s like Mystery Science Theather in my living room every day. I too hate Old Navy, bunch of uptight beeotches in a size 0 dress–I just want to wrap their scarves tighter and tighter until they turn the same color blue as their stupid little sweaters. I too, was from the hand me down generation. As a matter of fact, I still do hand down bags and bags of clothes to a friend of mine, who in turn lets me pick through her closet whenever needed. It’s like Christmas whenever we want. The Old Navy family is a joke. Dave Chappell does a funny take on them.

    I hate humid weather, liver, people who can’t drive but think they can, people who interrupt, clutter, fat women who wear sweats (or generally look sloppy) and think they look good-NEVER wear sweats in public-it makes all us fat chicks look bad, loudmouths, laundry, overpriced things, Barbara Streisand, drama queens, bad hair days, network news, clowns, birds, frogs, fish, okra, Dr. Phil (okra reminded me of Dr., Phil-ha!), arrogance, ignorance, and Mondays. That about covers it. I am sure there are more things, but those are the biggies.

  2. Linda said,

    I hate two TV things: that freakin’ HEAD ON commercial, and, what’s that show with Howie Mandell and waves of Barbie doll women on tiers, is it Deal or No Deal? Hate it. TV things are great to hate because it’s so easy to avoid them or encounter them, depending on your mood.

    I hate it when people, especially men, wear a gallon of cologne. You like it? YOU smell it. That means putting it on VERY LIGHTLY.

    Usually I start out in the morning hating practically nothing, get more irritated as the day goes along. If I watch the TV news between 5 and 7, that’s the peak of infuriation. Once that’s over things start looking better. By 9 pm I usually don’t hate much.

  3. Bulldog said,

    I hate picking up my dog’s landmines (or stepping in them when I don’t have the time to pick them up!)

    I hate it when people call you early in the morning and wake you up THEN have the nerve to ask “oh, did I wake you?” Or people who cut out in front of you and then take the next turn. THAT REALLY pisses me off.

    And, my number one hate: people who can’t speak english! You’re in flucken America! Learn the language or go the fluck back to where you came from.

  4. Bulldog said,

    I hate it when people cut their finger and then bitch and moan about it. :o)

  5. Sport said,

    I hate it when people cut their finger and then bitch and moan about it. :o)

  6. K2 said,

    I hate Jon Lovitz. Hate him. Why would Subway hire that asshole for their commericals?

    I hate eggplant.

    I hate death metal.

    And man do I hate the Old Navy ads. Commercialism should be considered the new communism.

    Although I grew up monetarily advantaged (relatively speaking — we weren’t stinkin’ rich), as has been well-documentened/much-maligned in these blogs, we always had used cars, my Izod shirts were irregulars, my golf clubs for my first years on the varisty golf team were used Wilson ‘Lady’s’ (really — big letters L-a-d-y’-s right on the back of the club face. Bring it on W & T), and my clothes were hand-me-downs from my brothers.

    The ultimate irony of Treehugger resenting my admittedly fortunate fiscal situation is that my dad was dirt poor, with Slovak immigrant parents (my grampa, whom I never met, barely spoke English, and worked at EJ shoes mill [much like the Francos here], making boots for the troops in WWII and Korea), and he scratched and clawed to make it to med school and beyond, thus making a better life for his children than he had for himself. That’s what I presume all real men dream about — making a better life for their kids –, but can’t always do, unfortunately.

    Of course, this will all be lost on some in here. (Guess who?) And others will say, K2, why are you telling us this? And I answer, why not? There’s therapy in confession. And in truth.

  7. K2 said,

    Oh, and AO, thanks.

  8. K2 said,

    I guess we know who ‘Sport’ is. Dan! No, I mean Dan’s ex. (Hey, that’s what LaFlamme said.)

  9. K2 said,

    And Linda, thanks too.

  10. jarheaddoc said,

    I hate those little trailers that you see under the news on fox and Cnn that are giving you more information. Information overload. I hate that the morning news is spending more time on showing people how to cook low fat food and adjust their dog’s sweaters than getting us out of Iraq. I hate technologies that were supposed to make our lives so much easier but ended up making them ten times more hectic. sometimes I hate you, but I realize that it’s more than likely a mutual feeling and we’ll both get over it. Well, most of us, anyways.

    I hate the asshats who bought an SUV when gas was cheap but bitch because their gas bill is almost as much as the vehicle payment. I hate commercials that are trying to sell: feminine hygeine products, female birth control, and male enhancement products. Have we no shame anymore? I can find all of that on the Internet and not have to explain all that crap to my kid before I’m ready to.

    I hate a government that is trying to legislate common sense: it’s my goddam car, and I will smoke in it, with my kids present, if I so choose. I hate people who will answer a goddam cel-phone while talking to you and put you on hold. Come to think of it, cel-phones are asshat-ish in nature. I also hate people who go into a smoking area and bitch about people partiaking in that area. What a bunch of ignorant fucktards -the people bitching, I mean, but you could make a case for the smokers being the same, too. And yes, I am an ignorant asshat for smoking, even though I know better and am struggling through each and every day right now to stay away from the damn things.

    I hate everyone who feels he or she should be part of a special group and get special treatment and have everyone else pay for it. Whatever happened to an honest day’s wage for an honest day’s work?

    And I hate that the media is promoting that people can’t be happy unless they’re size O’s and wearing the newest fashion. I also hate people who expect custom work at Wally World prices and then complain even more when that Wally World piece of shit fell apart at the mention of water and my prices went up in the mean time.

  11. jarheaddoc said,

    And right now I have the news on in the background and it’s talking about the whole TomKat thing and I hate it. Who gives a flying fuck about that wedding? Does the news tell you that this will be Tom;’s third walk down the aisle? No, they just lament the death of an instituition ‘sacred to our way of life’ and glorify Tom because he looks good on the camera. Is that kid really his or did he have someone artificially inseminate Kate What The Fuck Is Her Name? Now, if they were to show us a video of the conception of that child, from many different views, in graphic detail, well, I cold probably get right into that.

  12. Treehugger said,

    Ahhhh, KY, your grandparents and parents were the workers of yester year.

    I hate litle snooty liberal puss nutts of the real thing.

    I’d ask what have you done for society, but then we would get back into the whole house bitch thing, you folding laundry and the fact that you support left wing lunatics.

    Other then that, as Flamer said, ever so wisely, I ain’t got nothing. ;))))))

  13. AO said,

    “Head On, apply directly to the forehead. Head On, apply directly to the forehead”. I hate that commercial too, Linda. I hate: housework, bats, mice..yes, I have mice and bats in my house! I know, it’s because I hate housework. I also hate it when I find a dead squirrel in my swimming pool. Bastards. Go find another pool in the neighborhood to take a swan dive into.

  14. AO said,

    “Head On, apply directly to the forehead. Head On, apply directly to the forehead”. I hate that commercial too, Linda. I hate: housework, bats, (especially when they’re hanging off my shirt!), mice..yes, I have mice and bats in my house! I know, it’s because I hate housework. I also hate it when I find a dead squirrel in my swimming pool. Bastards. Go find another pool in the neighborhood to take a swan dive into.

  15. AO said,

    I also hate it when I get a double post.

  16. "The Weasel" said,

    I hate…….HATE. I think we need to love more. Yeah that’s it. We need more love.

  17. AO said,

    Sounds good to me, Weasel.

  18. Linda said,

    I’ve just been out around town doing the Saturday errands, munchkin for my dog at DD, library, post office, special tea I ordered. The sunshine is terrific. The stream through town (Wilton) is roaring and kids are throwing sticks in. You know, I’m finding it hard to hate anything much right now. I know that’s head-in-the-sand, because social injustice doesn’t take a vacation when the weather is nice. Still, it makes me remember playing marbles in the mud and floating paper boats in big puddles. My clothes were hand-me-downs from my cousins so no worries about the mud — my memere would give me a bath and wash my clothes.

  19. Treehugger said,

    Hugs AO

  20. Bulldog said,

    I love K2
    I love K2
    I love K2….. NOT!

    go fuck yourself, K2
    hugs and kisses

  21. Bulldog said,

    TREECHOKER!! how’s it hangin’?

  22. LaFlamme said,

    Well played, people! Well played.
    MT, you hate birds?

  23. K2 said,

    Peeplugger, how’s rescueing a stray cat, paying $75 to have her neutered (you know all about that, don’t you, Mr. Eunuch?) and vaccinated, and making sure she’ll ge adopted by a good home? That’s been my morning, cock craver.

    So, what did you do today, ass breath? Take a stray out back and shoot it, just on principle?

    Weasel, any grown man who sees Disturbed wouldn’t know love it it came in his ass.

    And Bulldog, next time you can expect roofies or GHB in the next drink I buy you at Fast Breaks. That drink tastes funny? Nah, come on! Drinky, drinky. . . .

  24. Bulldog said,

    don’t threaten ME with a good time K2. I may have to hurt you

  25. Bulldog said,

    Peeplugger??? WTF

  26. Treehugger said,

    Now that I hear your hot voice, its not hangin’ ;)))))))))

  27. K2 said,

    You’ll wake up with a cock in your ass if you’re not careful, Missy.

  28. jarheaddoc said,

    Isn’t that cruelty to animals, shoving a rooster in like that? I thought it stopped at gerbils.

  29. Treehugger said,

    KY, now you got yourself a safe pussy to play with. It may make a man out of you.

    Bulldog, you wearing that hot slinky nothing that you had on the other night.

    I think MT is out shopping.

  30. Bulldog said,

    Holy shit! It’s getting NAAAASTY in here. Wow K2, I didn’t realize how much you cared where your cock went.

  31. Bulldog said,

    I’m sitting here naked right now TH. That little slinky thing got a little torn up the other night, remember??

  32. Treehugger said,

    My eart be still……
    Sorry, but the scratches you inflicted have healed so I guess its a trade off.

  33. Bulldog said,

    why do I feel like I have to go hump someone’s leg now……..

  34. Treehugger said,

    Jeeze, I don’t know. You still in heat?

    Maybe KY could accomodate because, after all, he is a housedad.

  35. Bulldog said,

    JH, I heard you bought out all the gerbils at PetCo.

  36. K2 said,

    I’m more of an industrial strength scratching post for Bulldog than anything else. Damn that woman’s claws! . . .

  37. K2 said,

    They have placards at PetCo now: Do Not Sell Gerbils To This Man! (photo of jd attached.)

  38. Bulldog said,

    I trimmed my claws last night, thank you very much. They’re ready for the next conquest. No evidence will be left. Just pure delight and total euphoria.

    And TH, I’m ALWAYS in heat, baby, ALWAYS… woof

  39. Bobbie said,

    Bulldog, you have been missed here. Glad that you’re back.

  40. Treehugger said,

    Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,
    I do like the way you etched your initials on my backside.

  41. Bulldog said,

    Hi Bobbie!! I’m not back for long. Man I’ve missed this place!! I’m supposed to be outside doing something but I figured I could blow it off for a little while. (be nice guys)

  42. Bulldog said,

    Oh, and I thought you liked the way I shackled you to the bed and beat you senseless.

  43. Bulldog said,

    That last comment was for Treechoker, not Boobie. Although……………

  44. Treehugger said,

    That was great, but its the long, agonizing pain with the initials……..
    Weasel was jealous.

  45. Treehugger said,

    Blushing here……….
    I got to get back to work…….

    Big sigh…..

  46. Bulldog said,

    Weasel was too busy with JH and the gerbils to pay attention to us.

  47. Bulldog said,

    NOW you’re blushing!! I didn’t see any red in your face the other night. Of course, all your blood was in another part of your body… mmmmmmmmmmm

  48. Bulldog said,

    DAMN! I just realized I spelled BOOBIE instead of BOBBIE again. WHY do I always do that!!!!???

  49. Treehugger said,

    I certainly was not going to correct you.
    Great minds and all…….

  50. jarheaddoc said,

    The gerbils were to get the pussy from under the bed. Bitch always hides under there when the fucking check bounces.

  51. jarheaddoc said,

    And I have this really life like mask of a dead president that I now wear when I go for the furry little critters. And I pay cash. And act like I don’t speak the local language. Goddam this addiction, I HATE it

  52. Bulldog said,

    Is THAT what the screaming was all about? I thought, ahhh, never mind.

  53. Bulldog said,

    addiction to writing bad checks?

  54. Nadine said,

    AO: this is for you, and to all the other lost soles out there:

  55. Bulldog said,

    What the hell is the purple thing??? Barney gone bad or something?

  56. Nadine said,

    Oh, and I HATE mushrooms…well, the “regular” ones anyway. The “other” ones taste gaggingly gross but I’ll choke ’em down faster than you can say “wow man, I can SEE the music” — heh!

  57. Nadine said,

    Hmmm, I’m gonna check on the purple thing to try and see if I got a clearer shot…one sec.

  58. Nadine said,

    Nope, that was the clearest shot with that purple thing in it. Don’t make me go back down there, haha! Dammit, now I wanna know too! Check back tomorrow, I’m sure it’ll still be there and I’ll investigate 🙂

  59. Bulldog said,

    If I can check back tomorrow, I will. Me being in here today is unusual. I just don’t feel like doing what I really should be doing. I’d rather be playing…

  60. Bobbie said,

    I always know when Bulldog posts a comment to me because she always misspells my name. And no, I don’t want to know the reason behind her doing it, either. Even tho the offer was for Treehugger, it does sound interesting, Bulldog. Maybe one of these days……

  61. Mainetarr said,

    Sorry, I WAS out shopping, in Bridgton! What a beautiful day for a drive!! Then we went to Snow Falls. And the water is soooo high and beautiful, it is kinda hard to hate anything right now. Tomorrow is Bailey’s birthday, so we stopped and got him some special snacks. Of course Milo lucked out on the deal too. 🙂 Good to see you Bulldogious and Nadine.

  62. Mainetarr said,

    Mark-I am terrified of birds. Beofre i go into a pet store, I ask if there are any birds out of their cages. If there are, I take a pass on shopping. So that alone tells you what a phobia I have.

  63. Bulldog said,

    tweet!

  64. Mainetarr said,

    You’re a real tweetheart Bullgodious.

  65. Linda said,

    Its like Animal Planet in here today. what with the birds, gerbils, roosters and a pussy under the bed. I can practically here the screeching all the way over here. Be sure you are wearing gloves!

  66. Martha said,

    I absolutely despise commercials of any kind… there is this thing out there that I call the “hire an idiot to write your commercial syndrome.” The stupider the commercial, the more likely it is to play… over and over and over and over….. Its been around a very long time. I never watch tv without having the remote very handy so I can hit the mute everytime a commercial comes on.
    I agree with hating the guy who pulls out in front of you, then either just pokes along, or turns off at the next turn…especially if I’m the only vehicle in sight with a mile of empty road behind me. Oh, and lets not forget those folk who have absolutely no clue what a gas pedal is for.
    I hate flies in my house.. let a fly get in my house and I won’t put the swatter away until I get rid of it. I cannot stand them.. dirty things.

  67. Bulldog said,

    Hey Linda- you forgot to mention the dog! HOW could you forget the DOG!???

  68. Bulldog said,

    And another thing I despise… fuckin people who fuckin swear every-other fuckin word! Why the fuck to they have to fuckin use FUCK to get their fuckin point across? How fuckin irritating can they fuckin get? Get my fuckin point yet? You fuck

  69. Nadine said,

    Bulldog, stop being a fucking asshat!

    (Kidding! You know I don’t really mean that, just jumped at the chance to use the words “fuck” and “asshat” in the same sentence! 🙂 )

  70. Nadine said,

    Where’s AO anyway? She asked for the lost sole photos and hasn’t been here to see them. If she shows up, please direct her to them as I’m headed out for the evening (WOOT!).

  71. Bulldog said,

    Well, at least one of us has a fuckin life. I’m just fuckin sitting here, playing with myself, waiting for someone to talk to me. Have fun and have a few for me! Stay away from those shrooms, though– they make you do really weird things (experience has made me better at handling them though)

  72. Linda said,

    Hey Bulldog, sorry about the oversight. You RULE the Animal Planet! You are high on the list of people I’d like to party with. Maybe someday! No partying for me tonight — another chapter in my boring dial up life. i.e. staying with my mother so my sister can get out and have a life for a change. Some things you just have to do if you are going to live with yourself at all, you know?

  73. Bobbie said,

    Yeah, Linda, I know exactly what you mean about those things some days. LOL

    Just remember not to play too hard, Bulldog, or you may find yourself asleep before you know it. And how much fun would that be tonight?

  74. Linda said,

    Just remember if you party really hard tonight and go outside later — the sky isn’t really falling on your head, its just a comet’s tail.

  75. Linda said,

    And no I am NOT talking about reindeer.

  76. Martha said,

    Mark, I’ve sent you a couple emails.. just wondering if you got them.

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