Succulent breasts

November 23, 2006 at 1:52 am (Uncategorized)

Let’s face it. Ever since we were five years old, we’ve giggled every time someone utters the word “breasts” around the Thanksgiving Day table. That they mean it in a culinary way doesn’t matter at all. Everytime Uncle Joe smacks his lips and asks Aunt Mavis for some of that breast meat, we titter like children and elbow our equally deviant kin.

God bless us. The term “white meat” is funny in a distantly racist way, and “thighs” are good for at least a snort. I’ve always found “yams” a curiously funny word too, like something a street raw gumshoe would say when referring to his delectable sidekicks mammaries.

But enough. I give you a photo presented by AO and in fact one taken in her home just last night. Somewhere deep inside of us, didn’t we always suspect that this is the kind of thing that goes on in her household?


When she’s not drowning squirrels in the backyard pool or saving me from horrific traffic accidents, she’s at home dressing up barnyard fowls in her own lingerie and somehow, I’m not even a little shocked. And she doesn’t mess around: after sending along this mouth watering photo, she told me that the bra and panties are high end garments from Paris. Hey, anything less would make that bird look like a whore.

Have a great bird day everybody, whether it’s a day about thankfulness, spirituality or just stuffing your maw. Feel free to pass along any embarassments that may arise. You know how we love those.

Incidentally, if you find yourself sexually aroused by the above photo, for God’s sake, stay away from Aunt Mavis for the rest of the day and then get yourself some help. I know what I’m talking about too because, man… I just can’t stop looking at it.



  1. K2 said,

    Man, I’d love to stuff that turkey real bad.

    Happy Thanksgiving, one and all.

  2. AO said,

    Happy Thanksgiving you all from me and my breast!

  3. LaFlamme said,

    There’s another one! Stuffing! Used the right way, it’s downright dirty. This really is a filthy, filthy holiday.

  4. K2 said,

    I really do like fondling the giblets.

  5. K2 said,

    And I made pumpkin pie with nutmeg. (I’m surprised that got by the censors.)

  6. K2 said,

    Mmmmm . . . turkey-flavored edible undies.

  7. Mainetarr said,

    Hold the mayo…..

  8. AO said,

    That was one good turkey breast. Very juicy….

  9. LaFlamme said,

    Flamette had a heaping helping of man gravy.
    Okay, that’s just going too far.

  10. K2 said,

    Yes, but did you butter her muffin? . . .

  11. AO said,

    Was it from a Hungry Man frozen dinner?

  12. LaFlamme said,

    Actually, it was from a nice, porcelain gravy boat. We do things right.

  13. AO said,

    Yeah, I’ve got one of those gravy boats. I only pull it out…once a year.

  14. K2 said,

    Well, I’ve got to go whip my desert cream. Damn fish-egg clumps.

  15. K2 said,

    AO, if you only pull it out once a year, how come you don’t have 15 or more kids?

  16. Martha said,

    Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

  17. AO said,

    Because I had my “boat” fixed, K2.

    Happy Thanksgiving, Martha!

  18. AO said,

    Good luck with your cream, K2.

  19. AO said,

    …hope everything comes out okay….

  20. Martha said,

    I was just reading back in yesterday’s blog.. I’ve had 2 thanksgiving meals today, but didn’t have to cook a full meal. My church “family” had dinner together around noon. I contributed the mashed taters, green bean casserole and 2 peanut butter pies. Since I’m working, I get a thanksgiving meal here to, curtesy of the company I work for.. plus time and a half. I’d say that isn’t too bad.

  21. Linda said,

    I had two dinners too. At the second one there were “dueling turkeys” — one roasted and one deep fried. There were four brothers in law, five nephews, a few old and young friends. I was the second shortest person there. The ritual viewing of “The Goonies.” Three turkeys gave their lives for my enjoyment today (I cooked one of them).

    Hope you all had as enjoyable day as I had.

  22. Nadine said,

    My day was unusually boring.

    On topic…anyone want a piece of my sweet “Cherry Pie”?? *grin*

  23. Nadine said,

    Everyone’s passed out on tryptophan now…enjoy your slumber! 🙂

  24. Linda said,

    Anybody out there have to settle for tofurkey? I certainly hope not!

  25. Blumpkin said,

    Blumpkin pie for one and all

  26. Ellis Streicher said,

    Aw, this was a really quality post. In theory I’d like to write like this too – taking time and real effort to make a good article… but what can I say… I procrastinate alot and never seem to get something done. I need to pick up and go to the pool, or put a video on the tv and work out to that, or go for a bike ride.

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