Chronic four twenty

November 24, 2006 at 1:53 am (Uncategorized)

chong3.jpgAh, weed. It’s been so long since I resided in the pot milieu, I’ve forgotten most of the cultural nuance. Back then, if you wanted a doobie, you’d hunt down any of a number of people who always had some on hand. Many of these people were 35-year-old guys who still lived with their moms. Others were teenagers who stayed in school only because most of their clientele was there.

As I remember it, you could do one of several things. You could simply buy a joint and complaint if the tightwad rolled something not adequate to pick your teeth with. “Hey, what’s with the pinrod?” You’d ejaculate. “Roll me one of them fatties you’re always rolling for Clyde!”

Or you could buy a joint and smoke it with him but only if he filled his bowl a few times and smoked that with you. We called that matching. Or you could buy a nickel or dime bag, roll your own damn doobs and sell off some of the product. Or you could trade that really cool roach clip you got at the Skowhegan Fair for that half smoked rod he had in his ash tray. Or you could split your six pack with him if he smoked bowls full with you until all the beer was gone. Or you could have a really bad experience with the shit, shrink significantly and swear of Mary Jane altogether. You could turn to booze exclusively. The bartering system isn’t so cool, but the product can be had on any city block and you don’t have to know calculus to buy it.

And that’s that. One piss poor and very long segue. And here’s a story about the most gigantahuge pinhole burns in the recorded history of pot.

AMSTERDAM, Netherlands (Reuters) — A plan to roll and smoke the world’s largest joint was cancelled at short notice in Amsterdam when the organizers realized they could be breaking the law.

“We have now read the small print and realize there could be problems,” Thijs Verheij, one of the organizers, was quoted as saying by ANP news agency after consulting Dutch drugs laws.

The group had wanted to roll a 1.5-meter long pure-weed joint, stuffed with 500 grams of marijuana and containing no tobacco, and smoke it in a bar. It had initially thought the attempt would be legal if 100 people each brought along the five grams of the drug tolerated by Dutch authorities for personal use.

“Unfortunately it looks like this will not be possible,” Verheij said. The attempt had been planned for Wednesday.

A police spokesman said: “We would definitely have investigated this. If you make a single joint with half a kilo of cannabis in it, it would cross the line.”

Verheij said the group had hoped to beat a record set with a joint containing 100 grams of marijuana.

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45 Comments

  1. K2 said,

    Save the bails!

  2. Nadine said,

    Bummer dude!

    WOW though! I want that poster of Chong man, it’s like awesome man, it’s even signed man! I’m freakin’ out man (Anyone ever try to count how many times they say “man” in Up In Smoke? Better yet, try to play a drinking game to it — you’ll all quit within ten minutes…guaranteed!).

    How fitting, K2 and I give the first two comments to this blog…hell yeah baby! I’d LOVE to go to Amsterdam someday, then on to France for some primo absinthe. Ahhhh, nice smoke, nice drink…sounds better than thanksgiving to me! 🙂

    Mornin’ everyone!

    “My momma talkin to me try to tell me how to live, dannana nanana nuh nuh nuh!”

    S’chronic!

  3. K2 said,

    Nadine, nothing like an early morning infusion — I believe the technical term is ‘Wake and Bake.’

    These four-day weekends are the tits. Oh, that was yesterday’s topic.

    My fraternity brother/long-lost-and-then-found-friend, Adam (also the first true Mainer I got to know in NY), used to look exactly like Carlos Santana, but now after 15 years, he looks exactly like Tommy Chong. No shit.

  4. K2 said,

    And how about Chong doing 6 months for selling bongs on the web? Thanks a bunch, Mr. Ashcroft. (Who was actually way better than Gonzales, that puppet fuck.)

  5. Linda said,

    “Wake and Bake” — I like it, never heard that before. The phrase that came to my mind was “Mother’s Little Helper”, been thinking about that since you mentioned it the other day, Nadine. Even mothers who hate Valium deserve a little help.

  6. Nadine said,

    Yeah, I feel bad for the shit Chong gets all the time over just weed! If there’s anyone who is worse off in that department though, I’d put Willie Nelson at the top of the list for gettin busted — poor guy.

    And I can totally see Santana morphing into Chong, ha!

    “Yeah man, Thai stick, you know, that stuff that’s tied to a stick!” — love that line!
    Wish I could rattle off Cheech’s list from memory, but…for some reason (heh), my memory fails me at the moment. *squinty-eyed wide grin*

  7. Nadine said,

    Ah linda! Haven’t forgotten about ya! What’s your poison?

  8. Linda said,

    Nowadays Nadine, it’s the grape or the grain for me. Lots of weed in my past though, and decades ago anything that would make my pulse rate go up. Everyone thinks their times are crazy times — but Boston at the end of the sixties / beginning of the seventies, well, it really was crazy. From teased hair and white gloves to bell bottom pants and flower power just by crossing the street.

  9. Nadine said,

    Vino! Wish I could enjoy a little red wine every now and then, but I just haven’t acquired a taste for it — s’good for you too!

    Most of my alcohol experiences quickly take me from “Hey, I’m gettin a nice warm feeling” to “Oh man, I’m gonna puke!”. I have to really monitor and space out my drinks. My body rejects alcohol for some reason — though it welcomes everything else with open arms! Heh!

    My 4yr old is s-l-o-w-l-y motivating this morning (usually we’d be long gone by now — I envy his energy!), It’s a nice, relaxing change! Think I’ll feed him turkey more often, haha!

  10. Linda said,

    Four’s a great age, for sure. My granddaughters are 3 and 5, obviously I don’t see them much since they are in Australia, but I’ll visit them next year when they both have birthdays. Can’t wait! they are full of bubble and bounce.

  11. "The Weasel" said,

    Look what the “Weasel” and the Weaslettes” consumed yesterday….

    Turkey Ham Tortilla, Turkey Schnitzel, Turkey & Veggie Pasta, Turkey ‘n Sweet Potato Salad, Turkey Al Fresco on Mixed Greens, Turkey and Avocado in Orange Sauce, Turkey and Bow-Tie Pasta, Turkey and Broccoli Stir-Fry, Turkey and Cheese Biscuit Entree, Turkey and Cheese Roulade, Turkey and Cornbread Salad, Turkey and Eggplant Stacks, Turkey and Fruit Skillet Delight, Turkey and Jarlsberg Panini, Turkey and Kidney Bean Casserole, Turkey and Pasta Bake, Turkey and Pasta Salad Vinaigrette, Turkey and Rice Stuffed Sweet Peppers, Turkey and Spaghetti Squash Italiana, Turkey and Tomato Sauce over Spinach Pasta, Turkey and Vegetable Couscous, Turkey and Veggie Pita Pocket, Turkey and Veggies in Creamy Dill Sauce, Turkey and Wild Rice Bake, Turkey and Wild Rice Cabbage Rolls, Turkey and Wild Rice Salad, Turkey Antipasto Sandwich, Turkey Antipasto Tray, Turkey Apple Loaf, Turkey Artichoke Phyllo Pie, Turkey Au Vin, Turkey Bacon and Vegetable Bread, Turkey Bacon Breakfast Burritos, Turkey Bacon Quiche in Tater Skins, Turkey Bacon Wrapped Turkey Medallions, Turkey Baked with Beans and Pasta, Turkey Bangkok Salad with Peanut Dressing, Turkey Barbecue Meatloaf, Turkey Bean Joes, Turkey Beans ‘n Greens Salad, Turkey Black Walnut, Turkey Brat and Kraut Salad, Turkey Breakfast Pizza, Turkey Breakfast Sausage Strata, Turkey Breast Braised with Garlic and Rice, Turkey Breast Diane, Turkey Breast Provencal with Vegetables, Turkey Breast Rollups with Orange/Honey Glaze, Turkey Breast with Apricot Apple and Currant Stuffing, Turkey Breast with Burnt Almond Sauce, Turkey Breast with Curry-Orange Glaze, Turkey Breast with Honey-Mustard Glaze, Turkey Breast with Mustard-Caper Sauce, Turkey Breast with Rice and Apple Stuffing, Turkey Breast with Southwestern Cornbread Dressing, Turkey Breast with Spicy Orange Sauce, Turkey Breast with Sweet and Sour Apricot Glaze, Turkey Breasts with Pecans and Vegetables, Turkey Brunswick Stew, Turkey Bundles Braised with Spring Vegetables, Turkey Burgers with Cilantro Pesto, Turkey Burgers with Cranberry Salsa, Turkey Burgers with the Works, Turkey Burrito Casserole, Turkey Cacciatore, Turkey Caesar Salad, Turkey Caesar Wrap, Turkey Cashew Stir-Fry, Turkey Chili Nachos, Turkey Chowder, Turkey Citrus Avocado Salad, Turkey Club Wrap, Turkey Corn Burritos, Turkey Corn Salad, Turkey Cranberry Croissant, Turkey Crepes Florentine – Crepes Only, Turkey Crepes Florentine — Filling Only, Turkey Cuban Sandwich, Turkey Curry Salad, Turkey Cutlets & Artichoke Heart/green Peppercorn Sauce, Turkey Cutlets Cacciatore, Turkey Cutlets in Apricot Sauce, Turkey Cutlets in Golden Mango Sauce, Turkey Cutlets in Pineapple Sauce, Turkey Cutlets Piquante, Turkey Cutlets with Soba Noodles and Cilantro-Peanut Pesto, Turkey Cutlets with Sun-Dried Tomatoes, Turkey Deli Sit Upon Sandwich, Turkey Dijon Pizza, Turkey Drumettes and Potatoes, Turkey Drums Over Black-Eyed Peas, Turkey Empanadas Grande, Turkey Enchiladas, Turkey Ensalada, Turkey Etouffee, Turkey Fajitas, Turkey Focaccia Sandwich with Basil Salsa, Turkey Fondue with Sauces, Turkey Frank Burrito, Turkey Franks and Barbecued Beans, Turkey Franks and Pasta Salad, Turkey Franks with Cheesy Macaroni, Turkey Fried Rice, Turkey Fruited Salad with Bow-Tie Pasta, Turkey Garden Patch Sandwich, Turkey Giblet Broth, Turkey Gorgonzola Pasta, Turkey Goulash, Turkey Gumbo, Turkey Ham and Apple Crisp, Turkey Ham and Artichoke Salad, Turkey Ham and Barley Salad, Turkey Ham and Cheese Calzones, Turkey Ham and Corn Casserole, Turkey Ham and Corn Chowder, Turkey Ham and Fruit in a Puff Pancake, Turkey Ham and Pineapple Boats, Turkey Ham Loaf , Turkey Ham Omelet , Turkey Ham Quiche in a Grits Crust, Turkey Ham Quiche in a Hash Brown Crust, Turkey Ham Risotto, Turkey Ham Stuffed Potatoes, Turkey Ham with Apricot Glaze, Turkey Hash Au Gratin, Turkey Hoagie for a Crowd, Turkey in a Pocket, Turkey in Spicy Nut Sauce, Turkey Jambalaya, Turkey Kale Caesar Salad, Turkey Kebabs with Lemon Sauce, Turkey Kielbasa and Black-Eyed Pea Salad, Turkey Kielbasa with Cabbage Sweet Potatoes & Apples, Turkey Layered Salad, Turkey Lemon Cutlets, Turkey Lettuce Wraps, Turkey Loaf Alaska, Turkey Loaf with Spanish Sauce, Turkey Manicotti, Turkey Meatball Kebabs with Yogurt-Mint Sauce, Turkey Meatball Minestrone, Turkey Meatballs in a Pasta Crown, Turkey Meatballs with Sweet and Sour Sauce, Turkey Medallions En Escabeche, Turkey Medallions in Spicy Peanut Sauce, Turkey Medallions Piccata, Turkey Medallions with Cumberland Sauce, Turkey Medallions with Marsala Mustard Sauce, Turkey Medallions with Sauteed Peppers, Turkey Mexican Stew, Turkey Monte Cristo, Turkey Moussaka, Turkey Muffuletta, Turkey Mushroom Quiche, Turkey Nachos, Turkey Nicoise Salad, Turkey Noodle Dinner, Turkey Nuggets with Duo Dipping Sauces, Turkey on Bagel with Sprouts, Turkey Orzo Italiano, Turkey Oskar with B‚arnaise Sauce, Turkey Papaya Salad, Turkey Parmesan, Turkey Parmigiano, Turkey Pastrami and Pasta Salad, Turkey Pastrami and Pesto Salad, Turkey Pastrami and Swiss in Rye, Turkey Pastrami Panini with Provolone and Basil, Turkey Pastrami Sandwich on Irish Soda Bread, Turkey Pastrami Slaw and Swiss on Rye, Turkey Pesto Parmesan Meatballs, Turkey Phyllo Purses, Turkey Picadillo, Turkey Pilaf, Turkey Pistachio Sandwich, Turkey Pita Wedges, Turkey Pot Pie, Turkey Pot Roast, Turkey Potpie a la Greco, Turkey Pumpernickel Hero, Turkey Pumpernickel Puff, Turkey Pumpernickel Strata, Turkey Ranch Appetizers, Turkey Ranch Hors D’Oeuvres, Turkey Ratatouille, Turkey Reuben Sandwich, Turkey Risotto Primavera, Turkey Rosemary – Microwave Cooking Method, Turkey Rosemary-Conventional Cooking Method, Turkey Roulade with Roasted Red Pepper Sauce, Turkey Salad – Bloody Mary Style, Turkey Salad in Sesame Pitas, Turkey Salad Vinaigrette, Turkey Salad Vinaigrette with Fresh Raspberries, Turkey Salad with Gala Apples and Gorgonzola, Turkey Salad with Mustard-Tarragon Vinaigrette, Turkey Salad with Poppy Seed Balsamic Vinaigrette, Turkey Salami Batons, Turkey Salsa Soup, Turkey Satay with Peanut Sauce, Turkey Sausage and Eggplant Bake, Turkey Sausage and Potato Casserole, Turkey Sausage and Potato Frittata, Turkey Sausage and Potato Scramble, Turkey Sausage and Vegetable Kebabs, Turkey Sausage and Vegetables Alfredo, Turkey Sausage Breakfast Quesadillas, Turkey Sausage Breakwich, Turkey Sausage Corn Muffins, Turkey Sausage Lasagna, Turkey Sausage Minestrone, Turkey Sausage Mushroom Buttons, Turkey Sausage Piroshki, Turkey Sausage Pizza, Turkey Sausage Potato Pancakes, Turkey Sausage Stromboli, Turkey Sausage Stuffed Mushrooms, Turkey Sausage with Citrus Salsa, Turkey Sausage with Spicy Blueberry Relish, Turkey Sausage Orange and Pecan Dressing, Turkey Sausage Potato and Zucchini Bake, Turkey Shepherd’s Pie, Turkey Skillet Egg Foo Yong, Turkey Skillet Supper, Turkey Slices with Artichoke Hearts, Turkey Sloppy Joes, Turkey Spaghetti Sauce, Turkey Spinach Loaf, Turkey Spinach Salad, Turkey Split Pea Soup, Turkey Star Salad, Turkey Stew with Tomatoes Peppers and Rice, Turkey Stroganoff, Turkey Stuffed Green Peppers, Turkey Stuffing Divan, Turkey Swiss Melt, Turkey Taco Burgers, Turkey Taco Salad, Turkey Tacos, Turkey Tamale Pie, Turkey Tarragon Pitas, Turkey Tenderloins and Peach Au Gratin, Turkey Tenderloins with Citrus Pepper Topping, Turkey Tenderloins with Raspberry Sauce, Turkey Tenderloins with Red Wine Vinegar Butter Sauce, Turkey Teriyaki, Turkey Tetrazzini, Turkey Thigh Osso Buco, Turkey Thigh Pot Roast, Turkey Thighs Braised in Burgundy, Turkey Topped Cucumbers, Turkey Torta, Turkey Tortilla Pie, Turkey Tortilla Soup, Turkey Tortilla Wrappers, Turkey Tostadas, Turkey Vegetable Flan with Bloody Mary Sauce, Turkey Vegetable Soup, Turkey Vegetable Soup with Angel Hair Pasta, Turkey Veggie Frittata, Turkey Waldorf Sandwich, Turkey Wings Jerusalem, Turkey Wings with Barbecue Sauce, Turkey with Chorizo Cornbread Stuffing, Turkey with Corn Dumplings, Turkey with Curried Currant Sauce, Turkey with Molasses Glaze, Turkey with Orange Sauce, Turkey Yakitori, Turkey Zucchini Melt, Turkey Artichoke and Tomato Tapas, Turkey Bacon Mushroom Caps, Turkey Corn and Sweet Potato Soup, Turkey Hunter’s-Style with Saffron Risotto & Parmigiano, Turkey Mandarin and Poppy Seed Salad, Turkey Sprouts and Tomato Sandwich, Turkey-Broccoli Phyllo Rolls, Turkey-Olive Appetizers, Turkey-Olive Ragout En Crust, Turkey-Spaghetti Pie

  12. Linda said,

    Gad!! you Weasels must look like Weebles today!! 🙂

  13. LaFlamme said,

    Holy… What a pot grower eats in the frenzy of appetite if he accidentally stumbles onto a poultry farm?

  14. LaFlamme said,

    You know what we never said? We never used the word “bogart,” as in: “Dude, stop bogarting the doobage.”

  15. LaFlamme said,

    We did use “canoe,” though, in reference to a joint that burns up the middle of one side. As in: “Dammit, Kevin! Learn how to smoke! You’re making that thing canoe.”

  16. Nadine said,

    What about jonesin’ so bad you gotta scrape the resin and smoke that shit? YUK!

    Or, as the night progresses, you’ll inevitably hear someone say “I dare you to drink the bong water!”

    And then there’s the un-politically correct term used when someone gets the end of the joint all wet cuz they practically suck on the damned thing! (I think most of you will remember that term).

  17. K2 said,

    Poke smot.

    Tubal ligation (bong hit)

    Biggety (bong hit)

    Fire

  18. K2 said,

    Ah, the old monkey lip, Nadine. Hate that.

    Jonesin’ is bad. I don’t recommend ever being in that situation.

    And no resin or dirt weed for this addict. No sir.

  19. K2 said,

    spam test

  20. K2 said,

    Huh. I cant’ post a link to a story of a guy who bought a used car in NM and found 22 pounds of reefer under the back seat. Read it in the Minneapolis Star Tribune.

  21. Nadine said,

    why can’t things like that ever happen to ME??????? I bet he was a good guy and turned it all in (obviously or there would have never been a story)…or maybe he didn’t turn it ALL over *wink*

  22. LaFlamme said,

    Ha! Yeah, I remember the term you’re referring to. In complex code: Ligger nipping.

  23. K2 said,

    They said the weed was only worth 28K, so it was most likely Mexican crap.

    Z = Ounce = 28 g (actually, it’s 28.4)

    Eighth = 3.5 g

    Quarter = 7 g

    Q-per = quarter pound

    Kilo = 2.2 pounds

    Don’t you love math?!?

  24. K2 said,

    Yes, mine was in code, as well.

  25. Nadine said,

    Yes, I got them both, heh!

    well, he couda at least made a profit and saved for some “acapulco gold” (another on cheech’s list) or something.

  26. LaFlamme said,

    I actually had a couple Cheech ‘n Chong albums when I was maybe 9 years old. Or my brother did, but I listened to the suckers all the time. Didn’t one of them come with a giant rolling paper?

  27. Nadine said,

    YES and I’d pay anything for that LP with the paper still intact…looked for it a long time ago on ebay and stuff but cannot be found!

  28. K2 said,

    My favorite Chong line: “You just ate the most acid I’ve ever seen anybody eat!”

  29. Nadine said,

    Nothing beats “I wasn’t lookin’ at his neck” hahaha! (Remember Strawberry? Tom Skerrit? great movie man, you guys are makin me wanna watch it!)

  30. Mainetarr said,

    After all that turkey, Weasel, the Weaselettes will sleep till Christmas…

  31. K2 said,

    “When! boy? When! are you going to get a job like the goddam Finklestein shit kid?!?”

  32. Mainetarr said,

    How late are the stores in Freeport open until? Other than Beans….

  33. Dave said,

    No Mainetarr.. make your own presents. Don’t buy them in Freeport!

  34. Mainetarr said,

    Hi, Dave. Hee hee, I am done Christmas shopping. I was just telling Mark, I feel like wandering around aimlessly in a store for a while, nothing in particular to buy.

    What have you been up to Dave?

  35. Martha said,

    MT.. if I’d have had all day to do nothing, I think I’d have gone to a mall, but not to shop. I’d have found a well positioned bench and just sat and watched the people. I love to people watch.

  36. Nadine said,

    Martha, a kindred soul! There is nothing I enjoy more/find more relaxing, and yet fascinating, then watching people! The BEST place to do so, if you can, is in an airport. People are so focused on greeting those that they love that they let go of all of their inhibitions and you see people at their rawest.

    Many times I have sat on the floor against the wall at the Auburn Mall while my son enjoys riding the little kiddie rides (there is no bench there). I bring him, prepared with quarters, and just watch the awe of human behavior! Works best on a rainy weekend day, when people shop often and my son needs an outlet to release his energy.

  37. Nadine said,

    And Mark, I just read ths whole blog again (aside from Weasels turkey dish list — no offense weasel), and it’s soooo bad!

    New topic please! 🙂

  38. Mainetarr said,

    I’m with you Martha and Nadine. The best place to people watch I have ever been to was P-Town on Cape Cod. I parked my butt on a bench for a good two hours, just to watch folks go by. What a flippin riot. Nadine, you should have called me, I would have picked you up and we could have sat in the Maine Mall all day.

  39. Nadine said,

    Hey MT! That would have been awesome, I’ve not ever taken my son to the Maine Mall…yet!

    My boy and I actually spent the day in Kennedy Park, watchin’ the skaters, lettin’ him play, and snappin’ photos! So, I still got my people watchin’ in today AND took advantage of a photo-op…got some good shots!

  40. Martha said,

    MT and Nadine, some years ago my parents went to visit my sister when her husband was stationed in Hawaii. My dad told about spending time there people watching while the others in his party shopped. He described it as being a crossroads of the world, and thoroughly enjoyed himself.. Maybe when I’m up there in July, we could spend an afternoon enjoying ourselves… 🙂

  41. Nadine said,

    Martha, Id love nothing better! Consider it a date!

  42. answermaster said,

    tyson pendery sells pot
    if you in portland, give him a shout

  43. Brian Sanders said,

    Hey man, herbs a gift from the earth man, and whats from the earth is of the greatest worth ya know man, so if you like the herb man don’t trash the planet man cause she treats us very kind by giving us all this stuff man, you dont even need a glass bong er that man you could just pick and apple from a tree ya know man then ya take a stick and poke a hole in where the stem is but make it kinda like a small hole ok man cuase thats the bowl. But any way man what you do after that is you make another hole in the side of the apple so that the to holes kinda conect like at a 90 degree angle ok man. and there ya go, you got a pipe that took like a min to make and its free man ok, the best part is you can eat the parts that wernt coverd in ash man so theres your munchie to and its healthy ok man. so keep our planet clean and keep our atmuspher high bye smoking that gift from the earth

    http://www.myspace.com/rastacolonelsanders

  44. Brian Sanders said,

    oh hey ya i forgot to say man that Chong you are one of my heros and well im the charecter you play man haha i didnt even know about you and Cheech till some one said “hey you sound like leo from the 70s show” so hey man keep the good stuff going. I think yas should have a reunion to mand like “CHeech and Chong up in space” where ya like take a whole bunch of weed up in outer space or the goverment was getting rid of the weed that way and you guys were on the ship by mistake eh man but the people who were on the ship were like testing it in outer space. So you guys flip some switches after finding the holding room where the stash is man and it rleases the weed into outer space and then it burns up in the atmospher getting the whole world high man that would be awsome man.

  45. Nadine said,

    Oil is a gift from the Earth too man — actually, everything comes from the Earth. Wow dude, profound huh? *inhales deeply* yeah, pretty deep man…don’t forget to recycle your seeds man, take a little and return a little, right man?

    Oh yeah, I almost forgot man, I been down the apple road as well, great “tool” man! Better then a can man! 🙂

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