All apologies

November 29, 2006 at 12:55 am (Uncategorized)

geico_cavemen.jpgThe Geico cavemen are very enlightened about their heritage. They are also cultured, well dressed and Epicurean in their tastes. We see them dining with the Geico brass, doing talk shows to augment their complaints of prejudice and traveling to presumably exotic vacations. We’ve come to love these Neanderthals because we perceive them as underdogs trying to overcome ostracization and bigotry.

With that being said, one question has always nagged me. Do you think these much maligned primitives are gay? Or just meterosexuals without the hair maintenance?

The apology

The airport



  1. brenda said,

    These commercials are great. Love ’em.

    A few years ago, I bought a beautiful Anthropology book, thinking I’d use it to teach my kids. Then one day, after several cross-cultural-sensitivity- assumption-questioning classes, I opened it again and really looked through it. Talk about racist! It had a blatant “subconscious” (?) racist undercurrent in the artwork. What had looked beautiful and inclusive of various ethnic variations, suddenly was clearly purely racist! The assumption that the farther back in time, the more apelike & “black” looking people were, and as people “evolved”- becoming closer to European/ white as the tool use progressed….. It just suddenly struck me as white arrogance.

    Maybe anthropology/ science is just as subject to interpretation & human prejudice as religion can be. The idea of whites being a higher “evolution” is just as evil an idea as the belief that God created whites somehow spiritually ascendant.

    I believe we are responsible for what we are willing to believe about reality. For example: If you believe God used skin color to indicate spiritual value, you might as well think God is a racist, and you are the one who is believing it (a racist God….) It’s easy to say: BUt it’s God who made it that way- rather than take responsibility for our part in maintaining belief systems that justify feelings of superiority over others.
    In case you are wondering what I am talking about, according to the autobiography of Frederick Douglass, in the early 1800’s when kids asked why blacks were slaves & whites were free- the kids were told: “God made it that way.” Also, Puritans in New England, Mormons, and many other Christians, have religious beliefs to justify racial injustice as being God’s doing rather than human interpersonal injustice, and I have had conversations with various Christians in my lifetime who still hold these beliefs.

    And I find this equivalent or similar to using science to justify such beliefs. I saved that Anthropology book somewhere. I’m not sure where it is right now, I’ve left a lot of books in CA.

    ps note- above, when I said “you” I didn’t mean any specific “you”- I just mean a person who thinks that way….

  2. LaFlamme said,

    Wow. Way to jump right into the intelligent design debate. It’s a great issue and one with many arguments. Just, someone answer the gay cavemen question before we commence. It’s keeping me up at night.

  3. Linda said,

    I think one of these days you will see a new installment that includes cave women.

  4. jarheaddoc said,

    I will cite another commercial for consideration:

    You recall that Volkswagon commercial, where there’s a white guy and a black guy that stop and pick up a chair off the side of the road and then drop it off again? The controversy that sparked was incredibly stupid: they were a mixed race gay couple and the chair caused friction because it didn’t match their decor but one of them wanted it and the other didn’t; the chair stank to hgh heaven or had some remnants of bodily fluids on it and they realized it. Or anything else.

    Your question is typical of how homosexuality has become mainstream inf American society, Mark. Used to be the homos kept to themselves, it was a shameful thing, society shunned you, and other bad stuff. Now the heterosexuals are the ones who are being looked at as being weird.

    There was also an episode of ‘The X-Files’ called Apology is Policy, meaning people would offer what sounded like a very sincere apology when they were in fact quite the opposite and the behavior would continue, but be better disguised. Looks like Geico is doing that.

    Maybe it’s linked to the evolution of man debate and the commercials creators are mad because the Neanderthals died out and the homo sapiens took over th Earth and fucked it up so bad.

    Maybe it;’s a sad commentary on the peoples of our society who feel they’re being discriminated against by anyone and everyone.

    A true man would not have ordered roast duck with the mango salsa and a real man would have at least bought several drinks at the expense of the insurance company. And if those cavemen really were fudge packers, they simply would have clubbed the insurance over the head, dragged his ass away, sodomozed him six ways from sunday, and left him as damaged goods.

  5. Herb said,

    Do you know why cavemen dragged their women around by the hair? Because if they had dragged them around by the feet they would fill up with rocks.

  6. Thor said,

    Why are you asking, LaFlamme? 🙂

  7. K2 said,

    Great scene in History of the World Part 1: The first art critic — when the caveman eldar pisses all over the local artist’s cave drawing.

  8. Linda said,

    jd, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

  9. jarheaddoc said,

    I know, don’t make a mountain out of a mole hill, Linda. Just some thoughts about all of it, that’s all.

  10. LaFlamme said,

    The mango salsa was a definite clue to the caveman’s sexual proclivities. Although, who am I to talk? I became so enamored of the soundtrack to the last Caveman commercial, I tracked it down and got a copy. And it’s largely an instrumental.

  11. AO said,

    Why do you think we call you Flammer?

  12. LaFlamme said,

    I thought it was because I have a fiery temperment…

  13. LaFlamme said,

    And I’m assuming you’ve all heard that a priest has admitted to writing harrassing letters to the young lady who accused the mayor of gropery.

  14. Linda said,

    Mountain out of a molehill? ???

  15. Mainetarr said,

    A priest? That’s nice. What, he didn’t have any alter boys to molest that day?

  16. LaFlamme said,

    Bishop Richard J. Malone has apologized to the Auburn woman who received harassing mailings from a retired priest who had expressed anger regarding her complaints against Lewiston Mayor Lionel Guay. On Tuesday, Auburn police issued a cease harassment notice to Fr. Bertrand Poussard.

    The Roman Catholic Diocese received information that led Church authorities to suspect that Fr. Poussard sent the harassing notes which took Danielle Ramon to task for lodging her case against Guay. The diocese brought the information to Auburn Police who investigated and confirmed Poussard was the writer.

    Fr. Poussard, 64, is originally from Lewiston and was ordained in 1967. He has served at Notre Dame Parish, Skowhegan; Notre Dame, Waterville, St. Hyacinth, Westbrook; St. Joseph Wallagrass; St. Joseph, Biddeford; St. Dominic, Portland; St. Mary, Wells; St. Louis, Auburn; and was Chaplain at St. Mary’s Medical Center, Lewiston.

    He took a medical leave in September of 2000 until he officially retired in February of 2004.

  17. jarheaddoc said,

    Christ, now that you wrote that, Linda, my addled mind cannot, for the life of me, recall why I wrote that. freudian slip due to extreme duress in my life outside the blog?

  18. AO said,

    I guess I’m not surprised that it was a priest who wrote the letters. Though I did think it was a family member. I wonder if he’s related to the Guay’s in any way.

  19. Linda said,

    OK jd. Just a reality check. Freudian slips allowed, even encouraged, along with any other lingerie of your choice.

    BTW your worthy profession is my gold star choice of the week. when you need ’em, you need ’em. Keep up the good work.

  20. jarheaddoc said,

    I got this really neat set of skiddies, with canoes on ’em….

  21. jarheaddoc said,

    BTW: you’re welcome, and TYVM.

  22. Nadine said,

    “Captain CaaaaveMAAaaaannn!!!” Why do I wanna say that the Tasmanian Devil used to say that? Did he? It popped in my head, but I cannot remember what cartoon character used to say that.

    Anyway, I love those Geiko commercials — Geiko has good writers, the gekko (gecco?) ones were a hit, and these are just hilarious. Just saw the new one where one of ’em is being interviewed and a panelist says “looks like someone got up on the wrong side of the rock today” and he just sits back and rolls his eyes…funny stuff.

    As for your question Mark, I believe they are metrosexuals. As a card-carrying “fag-hag” with “gaydar”, I don’t sense it from them (as I DID with Frosty). I agree with Linda in that they will soon appear with chicks or wives, who will have their own gripes to voice — probably about their husbands’ unkempt hair and beards, though it would be funnier if the wives had them as well! I’m not sure how Geico will work themselves into that one though. Maybe throw some irony in there with “it’s so simple, even a woman can do it” while depicting the caveman with a grin on his face feeling satisfied that the “dumb caveman” stereotype has been lifted, not realizing it has now been thrust upon women. Of course, his cavewoman will be sitting next to him in disgust with the “wait until we get home” glare.

    Then would come a commercial with little cavekids…damn, they could really keep this going with slow progression to modern man if they wanted! ((I picture a round table discussion with the cavemen, Pharoahs (sp?), witches, etc. all pitching a class-action suit against Geiko for false representation or something)).

    Ok, whatever, THAT was gay! Ha! Glad it’s time to make dinner for my boy — before I REALLY get out of hand! 🙂

    Hope I answered your question Mark, heh! (“question mark” Ha, good one). Oy Vey I’m scatter-brained today! Ok, ta ta for now.

  23. Nadine said,

    Geico, Geiko?
    Pharoah, Pharoh?
    gecco, gekko?

    Damn, can’t spell tonight either — let’s call the whole thing off…

  24. "The Weasel" said,

    Let’s edit the following Blog….

    K2 said,
    Richie, nope, I never plead guilty. Do a background check on me — no convictions, be-otch. Not a one (Yet.) …..

    “The Weasel” says
    Yes K2, there is no record because,as what was brought up in a previous blog, your case was FILED for a fee. Therefore, you admit no wrong-doing, paid a FINE, and you were a good boy for the next 12 months, and the charge was filed. You were not INNOCENT, it was FILED. (Okay, I know this from personal experience. People don’t look at me in a bad light. We all have our crosses to bare.)

    K2 said,
    And common sense, my ass, MT. Cops should never have the right to give a beat down just because they don’t like what the populace says to them. In my case, I received NO warning whatsoever that I crossed the line (I have three wtinesses — my wife and in-laws), and all I said was “You’re satiating your own fucking ego.” Next thing I know, I’m tackled high and low by two officers, get knocked out briefly from my head hitting the pavement, and essentially wake up in a squad car. Oh, but I see, I ‘deserved’ it, along with my permanently fucked up left shoulder from the fall. Sure, whatever.

    “The Weasel says,
    What precipitated the interaction between you and those scary PPD officers? There was obviously some type of interaction prior to the beat down. Were they handling another matter and you stuck your (very big) nose into someone elses situation. I’m sure they did not take offense to your free speech, but I’m sure they took umbridge to your loud and unreasonable tone. Were you drunk or high? Where you trying to impress the in-laws or the wife. Did you receive cuts / bruises or other injuries. The shoulder doesn’t count. (I’m sure you suffered a previous injury to your shoulder from the constant patting of yourself on your back.) Family members as witnesses? Ha ha. They’re relatively well intentioned. But, they tend to be a little too biased.

    So with this “permanent” injury, how do you keep the house soooo clean?

    K2 said,
    I defer to Johhny Cash: “It could be someone that you love gets done like Jacob Green got done.”

    “The Weasel” says,
    I defer to The Oompa Loompas

    “Oompa Loompa doompadee doo
    I’ve got another puzzle for you
    Oompa Loompa doompadah dee
    If you are wise you will listen to me

    Who do you blame when your kid is a brat
    Pampered and spoiled like a Siamese cat?
    Blaming the kids is a lion of shame
    You know exactly who’s to blame:
    The mother and the father!

    Oompa Loompa doompadee dah
    If you’re not spoiled then you will go far
    You will live in happiness too
    Like the Oompa Loompa doompadee do”

  25. Thor said,


  26. Treehugger said,

    Jesus, another KY vs Weasel bout.

    And once again, “THE TUBE” is bringing up his arrest in Portland and making him look like an ass…………….

    Hmm, is that why they him KY?

  27. Blumpkin said,

    sounds like KY was a sidewalk lawyer………………..

  28. newsflasher? said,

    “hostage situation on Lewiston – story at 11” ?????
    what’s that?

  29. Gil said,

    Brenda is absolutely correct.
    All white people are evil.
    Only non-whites are good.
    Anything whites do is tainted with racism.
    It is perfecty logical to make a leap from Geico Cavemen commercials to the evil racist agenda of the White Americans.
    Jay-sus Chee-rist woman, you are insane.

  30. brenda said,

    I NEVER said ALL white peopel are evil. I just said that there have been experiences where I became aware that skin color affected the situation, and that isn’t something I’m happy about.
    Yin- yang-
    there’s good & bad in all of us, we are all related, we all have feelings & faults and good & bad moments…

    I’m not insane, just aware. You however, seem to be in denial of reality and you twist things.
    Maybe a logic class would be a good idea? no you’d probably think logical fallacies are techniques for argument.

  31. Robert said,

    Okay so the question of the day – did the mayor resign because:

    a. more allegations were about to appear
    b. a priest who was a close friend had written the letters
    c. family issues related to the original accusations
    b. because he was moving back to the caves to hide from Geico commercials

  32. Robert said,

    And speaking of bad commercials, who wants the Lexus commercials where 2 men or 2 women are seeing a car with a ribbon outside their home and both think its for them…who wants to be the spouse that did not buy the car?

  33. LaFlamme said,

    No shit. Imagine her surprise when she discovers that her tight fisted husband got her another pendant from Zales.

  34. Mainetarr said,

    Zales? More like Walmart, 2 for 1-one for the wife and one for the mother. hee hee

    Anyone know where I can get an air horn? You know-in the can? Play It Again?

  35. Linda said,

    What’s the worst present you ever got, MT? I’ve got one that stands out in my mind — a joke gift from my mother that she got at a yard sale, it was the most godawful handmade pottery serving bowl kind of thing, boomerang shaped with two bowl sections. “Tom” and “Linda” were painted inside the two bowls in shaky script. She thought it was so funny to see a bowl with our names that she bought it for us. Did I mention that it was mud-tan colored? Yecch! and do you know, i am such a sentimental packrat that I dragged that thing around the world, twice. I may still have it. Really, it has to go! Does anyone out there know a couple named Tom and Linda who have questionable taste in kitchenware?

    At least it was meant to be a joke.

  36. Mainetarr said,

    At a Chinese acution, I once ended up with a bottle of Geritol. But that wasn’t the worst gift, because inside the cap was a folded up $50 bill. It was pretty funny when I thought I was “stuck” with the gag gift, but it rocked when the guy who brought it told me to open the cap.

    Worst gift was a sweater I got once with God awful reindeer and Christmas trees on it. It was memere, at best. I always hate getting clothes, I’d rather shop myself. Best gift, my engagement ring.

  37. LaFlamme said,

    An air horn? Wal-Mart sports section.

  38. LaFlamme said,

    My brother and I, in the haze of holiday drink and smoke, once wrapped up a variety of useless household items for our older brother and his family. Door knob, individual screws, broken paint brush… Hey, it wasn’t much, but the older bro got a lot that year.

  39. LaFlamme said,

    Another year, we wrapped up the fixins for tacos piece by piece. Head of lettuce, package of cheese, jar of sauce… Damn, I miss those days.

  40. Linda said,

    MT, good thing the giver told you to open it — imagine if you had regifted it and missed out on the $50. You know — Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, Regift.

  41. Adam Goldberg said,

    These GEICO caveman commercials are totally anti-semitic and awful in the way they portray White Anglo Saxon Protestants as somehow superior to the obviously neurotic and whiny Jewish caveman character.

    Utterly offensive.

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