Badonkadonk

December 4, 2006 at 2:23 am (Uncategorized)

badonkadonk2.jpgIsn’t Amazon great? Without getting dressed, you can order some of those transexual romance novels you like so much, buy a flame resistant suit, pick out an MP3 player and plenty of John Denver to upload onto it, get a fresh Tai Bo workout tape, and order another Farrah Fawcett poster to replace the faded one above your computer. Or Sean Cassidy, depending on your proclivities.

And now, because Amazon knows that your neighbors are out to get you, there’s a personal armored tank that you absolutely must have. Order this sucker today, and by tomorrow, you’ll be cranking tunes at 2 a.m. and daring your traiterous neighbors to do something about it.

Remember that 1984 movie “Tank,” with James Garner and C. Thomas Howell? Yes, you can be that cool. Here’s how the bad ass Badonkadonk is described on the Amazon page:

The JL421 Badonkadonk is a completely unique, extremely rare land vehicle and battle tank. Designed with versatility in mind, the Donk can transport cargo or a crew of five internally or on the roof, and can be piloted from within the armored shell or from an exposed standing position through the hatch, thanks to special one-way steel mesh armor windows and a control stick that pivots up and down to allow piloting from the standing or seated positions. The interior is fully carpeted and cozy, with accent lighting and room for up to five people. A 400 watt premium sound system with PA is mounted to project sound both into the cabin and outward from behind the windows. The exterior is a steel shell with a rust patina, and features head and tail lights, turn signal lights, trim lighting, underbody lighting, fixed slats protecting the windows, and a unique industrial-strength rubberized flexible skirt that shields and protects the wheels to within an inch of the ground, while still allowing for enough flex to give clearance over bumpy and uneven terrain. Master power, ignition, all lighting, and stereo features are controlled from a single switchboard to the left of the driver, again accessible from either the seated or standing position. Standard drive is an air-cooled, 6hp Tecumseh gasoline (unleaded only) engine, with centrifugal clutch, giving the Donk a top speed of 40 mph. This vehicle is not licensed for use on public roads, and is intended as a recreational vehicle only. Badonkadonks are produced on an order-by-order basis, with each one having it’s own unique set of features. With your order is included unlimited consultations with the designer and manufacturer concerning all relevant options (a representative from NAO will contact you shortly after your order). Price does not include shipping and handling.

Badonkadonk on Amazon

Bandonkadonk: an alternative definition

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10 Comments

  1. Linda said,

    I haven’t had a chance to read the whole thing yet, or see what it costs, but really I think I’d rather get a hot tub.

  2. oopsy said,

    This might be just the thing to use each evening walking the streets of downtown Lewiston so that one doesnt get mugged (of course, you’d have to stay on the sidewalks, since it isnt licensed for street use).

  3. Richie said,

    I kinda like the lounge deck on top. Great for the summertime; you wheel up somewhere, put a steak on the BBQ, grab a beer & sit in your lawn chair; watching the world go by.

    The rounded front-end allows you to move through crowds easily; pushing people to either side with the rubber skirting preventing people from being swept under your wheels. The sloped sides allow thrown bottles to be reflected safely away. Slats on the window protect you when you have to take cover against the jealous masses.

    Yup. This ones got “The Flamer” written all over it. Metallic candy apple red with chrome highlights. Lookin’ good there, Flamer dude !

  4. LaFlamme said,

    I never thought of that. This could be my Rapid Response Unit for covering downtown action. That bicycle of mine really doesn’t have any bells and whistles.

  5. Mr. T said,

    With a sound system inside and out, great for parties!

    And to drown out the riff raff ambien noise.

  6. Linda said,

    I read the urban dictionary “alternative definition” of badonkadonk. Even trying really hard, i can’t quite see the connection. “An extremely curvaceous female behind”, compared to a steel-shelled flatiron shaped battle tank? Anybody?

  7. Linda said,

    And I do have a couple more questions about this product: for instance, why do Donk buyers like bag balm so much? why isn’t the spare full sized, and for that matter, spare WHAT? why would anyone choose the email name “scrotumlover”? when will the makers provide an EMP-shield option? Is there room inside for a hot tub?

    I may have to give NAO a call to get some of these questions answered, I guess.

  8. Nadine said,

    I heard of badonkadonk in the music world (as “ass”) before this blog. Thanks for clearing it up mark…though I agree with Linda — I don’t see the connection.

  9. Richie said,

    As much fun as this gadget may be, it’s been on the ‘net for a number of years. I remember seeing it way back before I retired, and thats more than 3 years ago.

    I don’t know the etymology of “Badonkadonk”; the UD describes it as the term is generally used now as made popular by a certain country song. Was that term in use BEFORE the popoularity of the song; I don’t know.

    To answer Linda; the Hot Tub is an optional item installed in a trailer and towed behind the power unit..

    As to that persons’ choice of email name; is it any worse than some seen on here ? It has to be better than, say. “crosseur du chien” or, what ever.

  10. Martha said,

    It actually isn’t any more expensive than some regular vehicles. Now if they’d just make it road worthy, it would be just the thing for traveling through deer country here in PA.

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