Nine ladies dancing

December 9, 2006 at 12:21 am (Uncategorized)

partridge_chart.gifAh, the shopping season. Time to put past disappointments behind you and get the important people in your life something truly special. Something that will make them weep with appreciation. Something that will elevate you to the status of hero. Something they will remember on every subsequent Christmas mornings until they are dead.

Get your honey that perfect gift, something she craves both emotionally and practically. Get the kids the hot toy they fear you will never provide. Get your mom something she can actually use, and not just more slippers she will climb into only when you visit. Get your mistress a piece of jewelry that says: “I love you. But never call me at home.”

Just don’t use “The Twelve Days of Christmas” as a guide. Those people are ridiculous. If you have to go that way, use the Bob and Doug McKenzie version. You know, a beer, two turtlenecks, three French toast. Actually, now that I think of it, those guys are a couple of losers, too. Just get gift certificates ya cop out.

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66 Comments

  1. AO said,

    Hell, twelve drummers drumming sounds pretty damn good to me.

  2. LaFlamme said,

    What the hell are you going to do with 12 drummers drum… Ohhhhhhh!

  3. Nadine said,

    Not to be sappy, but if I were granted one ever-lasting wish, I wouldn’t wish for world peace, or tons of money, or fame, etc.

    I’d wish for every living being (meaning having brains and heartbeats, not like fruits/veggies and shit), in every galaxy and beyond, (gotta cover ALL the bases here, heh.), to be HAPPY.

    That doesn’t mean that every pedophile will get all the kiddies they wants and live in ecstacy…it means; if everyone were happy, there would be no pedophiles, or serial killers, or people who feel the aspiration for so much power as to want to rule the world. They wouldn’t have the yearning for it. Unhappiness in various forms and extents CAUSES the desire to hurt — whether it be projected on others, or even on themselves.

    “Tabula Rosa Batman!” In regards to Nature vs. Nurture, I guess I just blew Nature right out of the water, since I’m pretty sure there isn’t a happiness gene. But I have always been a firm believer of being an emotional blank slate at birth to be molded in any way. Maybe I’m just a hippy at heart (“imagine all the people, livin’ for today. Yoouuuhhhoooo…you may saayyy I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one…”).

    Sheesh, I seem to get just a tad bit philosophical when I can’t sleep, apparently. I just cannot see any down-side to this wish…anyone?

    I’d still wish for every living being to be happy…

  4. LaFlamme said,

    Damn insomniacs. Shoot them all, I say…
    Hey, I’ll be at Percy’s Books at the Lewiston Mall for a book signing at 1 p.m. today. Feel free to come by and heckle me. Bring coffee.

  5. Nadine said,

    Hahaha! No, I’m not nuts, and you’d better get in line Mark for the firing squad! Talk about the pot calling the kettle black!! “If you’re guilty and ya know it clap your hands!” Yeah ok, I’m nuts.

    So, that said…my boy and I will see ya at the mall! We will be swinging by so he can visit Santa, so we’ll come say “hi”.

  6. Linda said,

    Oh damn, another opportunity to heckle Mark, and I have to miss it. What a nuisance for me!

    Nadine, you ARE a hippy at heart, aren’t you. That “Imagine” song is very cool. You know though, the constitution (tries to) guarantee us the right to PURSUE happiness, I guess it’s assumed that we don’t start out happy. And the capitalist take on it is that we pursue our happiness in the marketplace. That whole “getting and spending” action is the engine that drives our economy. It seems to me that for everyone to be really happy, it would have to rely not on what we have or can get, but on who we are and who we love.

    All I am saying is that your wish is not only beautiful but also really complex. So wish VERY HARD!

  7. Linda said,

    Jeez, AO, you were up late! Hope you can have a lazy day today.

  8. Linda said,

    Jeez, AO, you were up late! Hope you can have a lazy day today. We expect after-midnight comments from Nadine, but not usually from you!

  9. Nadine said,

    Haha Linda, yeah I know, I may as well just wish for Utopia. No, I like the “happy” idea — IS very complex, but covers EVERYTHING, right??

    *crossing fingers, closing eyes, and wishing VERY hard!*

    Can I open my eyes yet? Everyone happy? Yeah, sure. Heh

    K2…come out, come out wherever you are!!!

  10. Nadine said,

    Ok, time to motivate and get some shit done…later!

  11. AO said,

    I know. I stayed up late last night. Well, no work today so…I gotta live it up once in a while.

  12. Linda said,

    You know how I hate to be a buzzkill and start in with the class warfare, but this has to be asked: WHO can explain to me why pipers and drummers are worth half as much as ladies dancing and lords a-leaping? Sure the aristocrats have to eat too, and those who still live in the drafty castles & manor houses must have the mother of all heating bills, but are they really worth that much more? Shouldn’t the musicians organize and try to bring themselves up to a living wage?

    I am really appalled at this info — it really is a crime. Good investigative journalism, Mark.

  13. LaFlamme said,

    Yeah, I really broke my back researching that sucker. I think I accidentally found it at money.cnn.com while looking for porn.

  14. Linda said,

    I find money pornographic too.

  15. Christine said,

    Mark, I’m surprised at you. Usually your reporting is top-notch, grade-a journalism at its best. But this? It’s wrong!

    There’s actually 12 partridges, 12 pear trees, 22 turtle doves, 30 french hens, 36 calling birds, 40 gold rings, 42 geese-a-laying, 42 swans-a-swimming, 40 maids-a-milking, 36 ladies dancing, 30 lords-a-leaping, 22 pipers piping, and 12 drummers drumming.

    This poor schmuck buys the girl these things every day leading up to Christmas, which, added up comes to a whopping $75,122.03. That’s one expensive woman.

    I just spent a half an hour of my life doing that math, and I’m probably wrong because I flunked out of math in school. Merry Christmas.

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  16. Linda said,

    Christine, that’s amazing! Everybody but you missed the obvious. And what a feat of math! Remember what Peter Griffin said: “Math … is nothing more than the lesbian sister of biology.” Whatever that means.

  17. AO said,

    What?? See? I flunked math, also. 🙂 Now I’ve got TWELVE drummers to contend with? Oh, well. I’m not doing anything anyway.

  18. Nadine said,

    I love math, the ability to scream “eureka” when finding a solution is a rush for me! 🙂

  19. AO said,

    Well, you’d hear me screaming “eureka” too, IF I ever found a solution to a problem! And, I’m not just talking math, here!

  20. Nadine said,

    Ha! Good point, and ditto!

  21. AO said,

    So, Nadine. Did your son have a good time seeing Santa today?

  22. Linda said,

    I’m watching “The Polar Express” for the first time. Don’t anybody ruin it for me by telling me how it comes out, OK?

  23. Linda said,

    So far it’s a little bit scary.

  24. Nadine said,

    Well, yes, but it ended up turning out differently than I had planned. We were gonna visit Santa at the Lewiston Mall (which is smaller with better lighting), and to visit Mark at his signing while there. However, when we got there, no Santa and a sign saying he will be there on the 9th — which IS today!! Slacker Santa I guess.

    We went to the Auburn Mall afterwards and he was able to see Santa and tell him what he wants for Christmas (all he said was “trains” — was cute!). I did get some pictures, but they are not so great due to such contrast in the lighting (lit trees everywhere but Santa in a darker area — but I’ll tweek ’em a bit and see if I can make adjustments).

    Better then paying the 12 bucks or so for a “professional” 5×7 photo, which was what Auburn was doing — though they at least let me take my own. Lewiston’s Santa is free (may explain why he was not there, not much $ incentive!).

    So, to answer your question in a much simpler and shorter reply…yes 🙂

  25. Nadine said,

    Polar Express is one of our favorite movies!!! Great for both kids and adults. Aren’t the graphics amazing — my favorite scene, and it comes early so not a spoiler, is when the eagle soars down the falls. Feels like you’re right there and on a roller coaster or something!!

    We watched the original Home Alone today, another fave, the sequels just don’t compare.

  26. Nadine said,

    Wait…scary?? How so? I consider it adventurous and inquisitive, requiring (here we go again, heh.) imaginative problem solving.

    There certainly ARE some strange events, but don’t seem scary — well, doesn’t seem to distress my son any, maybe he’s just too young to “get” those parts?

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  27. Linda said,

    That’s good. They just made it across the frozen lake, skidding, sliding, everyone almost falling off, the spike bobbling in the air. And now shouting marionettes. I’m not scared myself, you understand, but I imagined that maybe a child would be.

  28. AO said,

    Linda, The Polar Express is the BEST!! I have it. My daughter and I have watched it at least 4 times already. That one kid with the glasses, on the train cracks me up!

  29. AO said,

    Nadine, I think the Auburn Mall sucks ass big time for charging 12 bucks for a friggin Polaroid picture. I’m sure your’s will come out much better than their “elves” could ever take. And, trains, what a perfect response from a boy when asked by Santa what he wants for Christmas! PERFECT! I can remember when all my son wanted was a Matchbox car wash. He got it but, what a piece of crap. Trains…a much better choice.

  30. Nadine said,

    The marionettes ARE a bit freaky and required a bit of explaing to my son.

    And, yeah, the train thing…he is obsessed:

    Just ONE of his track sets at home:

    And don’t be fooled by his next facial expression, it was VERY hot and sunny that day!:

    But, this one is my favorite for some reason:

  31. Nadine said,

    I everyone is out causing trouble somewhere…not that I mind you two, but where is everyone?

    I miss K2 😦

  32. Nadine said,

    Yeah, mean to say “I BET everyone is…”

  33. Nadine said,

    dammit…meanT, lol

  34. AO said,

    GAWD, Nadine, your son is adorable! That last picture kind of makes him look animated. Looks like he’s a big person in a little town. I like that pic, also. I just want to kiss those cheeks! He’s got the same kind of cheeks that my daughter has and…she gets kissed on them everyday!

    I know. I miss K2 as well. 😦

  35. Nadine said,

    Yeah, he’s a gem!! Of course, I’m SUPER-biased. I have no idea where he gets his looks/charm from — though he does look an awful lot like my younger brother did when he was that age…everyone used to tease my mom and say my brother was the Milkman’s son, lol. Only one of us NOT dark skinned and blonde! (Don’t ask, he also does NOT look anything like his dad).

    I’m opening myself up here, but here is proof of that (from the Oxford Christmas Parade), his dad is the super-tall dude lookin’ my way — though he does look like his half-brother to the left with the skateboard and brown shirt on; but HIS mom has quite fair hair and skin, so???:

    Again, opening myself up a bit, here is a good pic of me and my son (dammit, i’m tired of calling him that…his name is ADAM!!!):

  36. Linda said,

    Oh Nadine, those photos are GREAT and what a little cutie Adam is! My palms are twitching to stroke the top of his head. You are so lucky. Little boys are just so huggable. Thanks for sharing!

    I had gotten distracted by the phone. I quickly read thru the comments I missed. When I started reading #35 I thought you meant K2, I thought, she knows him better than I thought! until you mentioned your brother and then i realized you were talking about Adam 🙂

  37. AO said,

    It’s hard to tell who he looks like. The only things that matter or, should is, he’s adorable and, he’s well loved. Adam. Nice name.

  38. Linda said,

    My son Luke has that same cowlick thing on the right side of his forehead. When he was a baby with fine hair, it always stood up higgledy piggledy all over the side of his head.

  39. LaFlamme said,

    Are boys allowed in here? Or what?

  40. AO said,

    Maybe. Got anything good?

  41. AO said,

    I’ve gotta say…I love the term “higgledy piggledy”…what a hoot.

  42. Nadine said,

    Well, don’t know about you girls, but I sure could use some testosterone in here! I’m already outta control with the pics, lol!

    Join us Mark!

    And Linda, that is just too freakin’ funny about you thinkin’ I was referring to K2.

    Hey K2…come out and defend yourself — you my baby’s daddy??? Hahaha!

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  43. Linda said,

    I’ve got a million of ’em.

    Mark! Come on in, you’re always welcome here. 🙂

  44. Linda said,

    Hey Adam, who’s your daddy? Ha! I wasn’t making that allegation.

  45. Nadine said,

    Understood, and too funny!

  46. Nadine said,

    Ok, til tomorrow, guess everyone’s sleepin’. Sleep is so over-rated, heh.

  47. Linda said,

    Not sleeping here. Playing a game.

  48. Dave said,

    Love the pics! Certainly nice to put some faces with the names on here.

    Here’s me and my daughter…
    http://lamaine.com/wp-gallery2.php?g2_itemId=3451

  49. Linda said,

    Very nice! She’s got a stellar smile. Actually you both do.

  50. Nadine said,

    Awesome Dave!!! Very cute, and can tell you adore her!

    What game ya playin Linda?

  51. Linda said,

    just a primitive bubble game. Takes no thought at all. Its my substitute for sleeping.

  52. Nadine said,

    I hear that! My substitute is annoying this place with crap, bugging Mark with stupid emails, and texting everyone I know to bug ’em.

    Wish I could sleep!

  53. Mainetarr said,

    I like playing pyramids….takes no thought really, just helps me unwind.

    Have you guys seen that house on Vista Drive? (right by my house) It’s awesome!! If you turn your radio to 88.1, the Christmas lights flash to the music. It’s really beautiful.

  54. Nadine said,

    I read about that house in the paper!!

    What’cha doin up so late? You feelin any better?

  55. Linda said,

    I’m going to join the club and post a few pics here if anyone cares to look at them. (It took me a while ’cause i had to make a photobucket account).

    these are my granddaughters. I miss them every hour of every day. Not to get too sappy about it, you know.

  56. Nadine said,

    Sorry I “disappeared” last night so abruptly, got booted and needed customer service help to get this up and running again!! Took over 4hrs!!!!!!!!!!!

    OMG Linda!! The girls are BEAUTIFUL!!! I love Zoe in the fairy costume — classic “things are not going my way!” face. She also has beautiful lips…Adam has full lips as well, and he knows he can get just about anything he wants when he starts the pouting/lip quiver thing!! I have a feeling Nikau is gonna have one of those pixie “forever young” looks, kinda like Bjork (and yes, that’s a huge compliment!) 🙂

  57. Bobbie said,

    For anyone that is interested, new belly photos have been posted. Sonogram pictures have also been posted as well.

    http://360.yahoo.com/noreaster22

    Maybe one of you guys can tell me whether it’s actually a foot or a hand in one of the sonogram pictures.

  58. Linda said,

    Wow, Bobbie, that’s a lot of belly in just 4 weeks! She’s looking great. And the sonogram pics — the ones from 12-02? well, some of them have obvious hands, so the appendages that don’t look like hands must be feet. I looked very closely, since I’ve knitted for this baby and it would have been nice to know if it’s a boy or girl. But, no dice.

  59. AO said,

    I can’t find the sonogram pics. Where are they??

  60. Nadine said,

    I can’t find ’em either!!

    Bobbie!! Congratulations!!! I’m jealous though!! I want another baby!!

    Any takers…er…donors??? KIDDING!

  61. Linda said,

    It was a bit fiddly to find them this time. Over on the right, in the Photos box, click View Photos. It takes you into a slide show of one of the 6 albums. Click [Back to Album], then [Back to noreaster22’s photos]. You’ll see the are 6 albums, and the sonograms are the 2006-12-02 set.

    That’s the configuration that came up for me anyhow. I certainly hope you could understand and follow my explanation, because this is what i do for a living and if I couldn’t explain it clearly to you, I and a couple hundred users are in a lot of trouble.

  62. Nadine said,

    You did great Linda!! Found them in seconds!

    Bobbie — just amazing! Love the last one best…looks like he/she is hiding his/her face, knows “Peek-A-Boo” already, smart baby! Ha!. OR, if it’s his/her feet, looks like you may have a girl there. That’s my prediction!

    As for whether that one pic is a hand or foot, looks like a hand resting on a full belly! 🙂 (If that’s the one you are questioning).

    Congrats again!!!

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