The scream of the butterfly

December 18, 2006 at 2:05 am (Uncategorized)

monarchonalf.jpgI spent many an evening in past years sitting on the floor in candlelight and reading from the Book of Questions with a date or the latest steady girlfriend. If you’re not familiar with this book, you should check it out. For one thing, it’s a great way of creating an air of intimacy with a young lady you’ve brought home.

Unfortunately, the touchy questions therein have a way of illuminating the complex workings of the inner mind. You might be amorous and desperate as an alley cat in heat, but that stranger across the candle can start to look pretty frightening after a good round of questions and answers.

For instance, an answer to the following question so turned me off from a girl I was seeing, I went frigid on her for nearly an hour.  I mean, come on! I was a lascivious young man, but I had my scruples. Sort of.

Consider the question as long as you’d like. Just be careful not to get candle wax on exposed body parts. Unless you’re into that sort of thing. Call me.

For an all-expense-paid, one-week vacation anywhere in the world, would you be willing to kill a beautiful butterfly by pulling off its wings? What about stepping on a cockroach?

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19 Comments

  1. Mainetarr said,

    From today’s paper….

    • Tina Dube, 34, of 201 Sabattus St., Lewiston, operating under the influence, 3:40 a.m. Sunday on the Veterans Bridge in Lewiston, Maine State police

    Relative of Bo Dube? The infamous Teena? Ha!

    The answer to both the butterfly and the cockroach is yes. I would pull off the wings and eat them for a weeks paid vacation to Italy. Same with a cockroach. I would step on, dance on, drive over–whatever–a cockroach, again, for a weeks paid vacation to Italy. Doesn’t matter that the butterfly is beautiful and the cockroach is ugly. They are both history for a vacation to Italy. They are bugs. Of course if it were a puppy or a kitten, then no.

  2. brenda said,

    no. I wouldn’t trust the person who gave the challenge.

  3. Robert said,

    Damn, I wish I’d had that book years ago, the agony it would have saved me to really ask the questions everyone feels uncomfortable answering…as to the butterfly, yes he’s now just a lowly caterpillar without his wings…whiel I sit on the terrace in Italy …

  4. LaFlamme said,

    Wow, man. I think I’m the only sap in the world who wouldn’t kill the critters for the expense paid trip. Couldn’t do it, I swear. Again, it’s the treachery of imagination and empathy. If you pluck the wings off a butterfly, all that’s left is a Tic Tac sized torso with no means of locomotion. That’s “Johnny Got His Gun” stuff. The wingless torso would essentially starve to death in a world limited to the space around its useless body. Like hell for insects, and I just couldn’t be the administrator of that punishment. Friggin’ typical. I gotta spend a winter in Maine while you people are off in the tropics.

  5. Blumpkin said,

    Pluck, Pluck, Crunch, Crunch….

  6. LaFlamme said,

    Now you’re just making me hungry, dammit.

  7. Linda said,

    I’ll be here with you Mark. I’ll buy you a beer.

  8. AO said,

    I don’t think I could do it, either. I once had a butterfly smash into the windshield of my car and I had all I could do not to cry. SNIFF….Just thinking about it is making me well up. Thanks, Mark.

  9. devil's advocate? said,

    the thing is, whenever someone poses an ethical dilemma in exchange for something, it’s a question of the price of your soul. That’s why I wouldn’t trust the person posing the challenge. They may not even pay up- and there you are, with an awareness of having been willing to do whatever it was, in exchange for the price agreed upon. What is the price of your soul? Whatever you agreed to. Can you sleep with yourself knowing your price?

    I suppose if the breeze is nice in Italy, some people could sleep just fine!

  10. LaFlamme said,

    Okay, okay! Point taken. I’m sorry I turned frigid!

  11. Anonymous said,

    why are you sorry?
    Oh, were you the one asking the question?
    well, maybe you were smart then, to not want to sleep with a buterfly torturer.
    Or did I assume wrong? Did she REUSE to do dispicable things in exchange for $$, and you were trying to pay her to do nasty sadistic things?

  12. oops/ editor said,

    that was supposed to say REFUSE not REUSE
    and also: butterfly torturing cockroach eater….

  13. LaFlamme said,

    Well you’ve lost me, now. Who’s sleeping with cockroaches?

  14. oops/ editor said,

    sleeping? I said cockroach eating- oh, stepping on cockroaches? I thought the question was whether someone would eat cockroaches & / or take the wings off butterflies. It was late at night…

  15. Mandy, the obit writer said,

    I would NOT kill the butterfly or step on the cockroach. For all I know, the butterfly or the cockroach could be the key to sustaining life at the place where I would take the vacation. I kill the butterfly and the cockroach and then the vacation destination is rendered uninhabitable. I’d rather save for the vacation than risk that kind of destruction.

  16. Martha said,

    You wouldn’t have to pay me to step on a cockroach.. nasty things. Having lived in an apartment infested with them, believe me, everyone I can get rid of just makes my day.

  17. lost sole said,

    I’d say I wouldn’t do it. It’s a guy asking his date an hypothetical question. If it were some milionaire & there were tv cameras, maybe I’d think the prize was real and within grasp- then I’d have the real dilemma! Nobody knows what I’d do in that moment, different times of my life I’d probably respond differently, But it is not easy for me to kill roaches, but of course I’ve murdered plenty in my lifetime, on way or another. Never thought about hurting a butterfly, but more likely to have a burial when I find a dead one. I’ve buried dead creatures, birds, rodents, & a coyote, with ceremony & some kind of special plants or sticks or rocks, whatever I could find.

  18. LaFlamme said,

    Get thee to the new and improved Screaming Room at http://www.marklaflamme.com/blog

  19. Genevieve said,

    OMG this is what the country has come down to for a potential president? A quitter from AK, birthers and former idiot poniaicitls galore and a New Yorker with a hugh ego. President Obama should be reelected unless people are just plain dumb. Then again this country elected Bush.

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