Be a doll
The only doll I ever owned was a G.I. Joe who had a very short war experience indeed. He was blown apart by firecrackers. He was attached to flimsy parachuets and dropped from roof tops. He was beheaded, de-limbed and dressed in woman’s clothing to horrify neighborhood girls. If ol’ G-Joe had a soul and human frailties, he would have turned to booze and narcotics. And who could blame him?
If you shop around a little, you’ll find action figures of Albert Einstein, Edgar Allan Poe, Evander Holyfield and The Rock. Perfect last minute gifts for that lonely, lonely woman in your life. Of course, you could go all the way and order a real, life-size companion for that sad friend but then you’d face a tricky return policy if things go bad in the relationship.
I tried to create my own, personalized action figure here but I didn’t have much luck with it. This much is true: if there were a Mark doll out there, it wouldn’t come with any string. It would just start talking out of the box and then it would never shut up.
The Screaming Room 
"The Weasel" said,
December 16, 2006 at 2:21 pm
Flammer…..
You are so full of crap! Here is one of the toys of your youth.
http://www.meta-gizmo.com/Tri/Ts/GayBob.html
PS. I miss K2
Treehugger said,
December 16, 2006 at 3:19 pm
Yea, where is the elf outfit fag……….
Carson said,
December 16, 2006 at 4:22 pm
Seems appropiate that Weasel and Treehugger would find that doll. Did you both pose for it?
Linda said,
December 16, 2006 at 4:26 pm
I wondered what Weasel and Treehugger looked like.
Nadine said,
December 16, 2006 at 9:05 pm
That was fun! Though the link you sent Mark showed a doll worth $7.95 or something — my dude cost’s $22.35. MY doll can beat up YOUR doll! Ha!
Ok, for the millionth time, I’ll say it again, and again, and again, and again… (The Cure anyone?? K2?!!).
I MISS K2 – too!!! Dammit man, sho yo bad self!
Nadine said,
December 16, 2006 at 9:06 pm
(sic) sent, Mark, showed…
yadda yadda
AO said,
December 16, 2006 at 9:51 pm
My Barbie dolls always loved G.I. Joe. I still don’t know what the attraction was.
AO said,
December 16, 2006 at 9:55 pm
Mine cost 24.75. But, I also noticed that he didn’t come with a “package” and, it wasn’t on the add on list. I wonder how much more that would cost? I mean, who’d want a hero without a package?
Linda said,
December 16, 2006 at 10:05 pm
How big are those dolls anyhow? 24.75 ought to buy a lot of, er … are we talking about dolls here?
Linda said,
December 16, 2006 at 10:37 pm
Do any of you have a pet bird? and does it fly around the house? I never really thought about it before, but obviously you’d need to protect your house from birdshit. Here’s just the thing, and it’s probably not too late to phone them and get something special delivered by Christmas (don’t miss the phone #).
http://www.flightquarters.com/bird-diapers/merchant.mvc?Screen=CTGY&Store_Code=AFF&Category_Code=F
Walter said,
December 16, 2006 at 11:16 pm
This just in: Time’s man of the year is
YOU!
"The Weasel" said,
December 16, 2006 at 11:26 pm
Sorry Carson…… It was a late night, but Fuck You. God I’m drunk……………
LaFlamme said,
December 17, 2006 at 3:29 am
Ah, the Weasel’s into the buttered rum. Or whatever the hell you people drink.