Murder on the mountain

September 5, 2006 at 12:10 am (Uncategorized)


So, three dead at Sunday River, maybe more. The news startled me because I don’t associate the skiing community with murder. Call me uninformed, but I always thought of the ski bums and bunnies as a gregarious bunch who drive station wagons, speak in secret slope talk and get laid five times as much as non-skiiers. I think there was a study on this somewhere.

A killing near a ski resort intrigues me, particularly when there is no snow. It smacks of mystery and genuine drama. I just don’t see a group of crack dealers from Roxbury checking in to a bed and breakfast in Newry. Wouldn’t they be singled out immediately for the lack of ski related stickers on their cars?

By the time you people are awake to read this, more details should be available. It’s my understanding that there may be a fourth victim. Unfortunately, it’s after midnight and wandering up there to investigate would make little sense in the face of the newspaper deadline.

The number of dead and the location of the crime surely hint at a motive that’s complex and sinister. But I’m going to make an early prediction that this is the result of a very nasty domestic entanglement. I may be jaded, but murder in Maine is almost exclusive to romantic upheaval or the drug trade. And I just don’t see the drug traders stopping off at a bed and breakfast in Newry.

Of course, the light of day could prove me entirely wrong. We could have a Murder She Wrote Mystery on our hands and it will be up to us to solve it. If so, put on your tall hats and fill your pipes with opium. We’ve got work to do.


  1. Linda said,

    From what I hear, Newry is like any other quiet backwater place that got a spit shine from some big commercial venture. It’s easy to assume that Newry = Sunday River but there’s the whole other side of the area too.

    Three or four people, at least two of them women, is that it? Maybe your guess is right Mark, but I think I’d lean slightly toward drugs.

    We’ll see.

  2. Mainetarr said,

    Drive wagons? Speak in slope talk? Getting laid all the time? K2, where were you yesterday?

  3. Mainetarr said,

    I didn’t see the line about drugs. Now I definitely want to know where K2 was yesterday.

    Or, even better, maybe it was the mother of the creature found in Turner. She is looking for her pup and will kill everyone until she finds him. Better clean out your fridge LaFlamme. She’ll be coming after you next. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Woof!

  4. K2 said,

    Me know nutting. Me home last night. Me swear.

    Cripes, I drive by there on my way to the slopes.

    I hope they nail whoever did such a gruesome thing.

  5. Mainetarr said,

    Man, it’s quiet in here today. Everyone out looking for the fourth victim or what?

  6. lost one said,

    what joker sent me an online subscription to “Beastletter” – a bestiality newsletter?
    !!!spam!!!! on you!!!!!! !!spam!!!

  7. Daniel said,

    Working with the information given here, I can tell you exactly how this crime would be solved here in York: Racial profiling.

    Drug dealers? Look for the Mexicans.

    Romantic upheavel? Look for the Mexicans. Those Latins are so hot-blooded.

    A little bit farther south, down towards Baltimore, and it would be black people.

    Down towards DC? Those terrorist Arabs. The commercials even said that they use money from drugs to fund their terrorism and civil rights movements, so they _MUST_ be involved, right?


  8. LaFlamme said,

    I’m hearing that the dude, Christian Nielsen, was found hacking up the bodies in the backyard. One dismembered corpse is reportedly still being sought.

  9. jarheaddoc said,

    One word: kielbasa

  10. K2 said,

    ‘So, ah, that’s your friend there in the wood chipper?’

  11. LaFlamme said,

    Ah, shades of Fargo.

  12. LaFlamme said,

    Wow. The suspect in this case is a creepy little man. Ghost grin on his face as he’s being paraded about.

  13. Linda said,

    Looks like I’m missing out on a gruesome story — how’d that happen?

  14. Linda said,

    “crack dealers from Roxbury” —

    Oxford County girl that I am, I just realized you mean Roxbury, Massachusetts, not Maine. All day I’ve been thinking, why does Mark keep sniping at rural towns where I spend time?

    Now I see I was wrong.

  15. Linda said,

    And “sniping” isn’t right — I should have said “have a negative opinion of”

    You don’t snipe, Mark

  16. AO said,

    Unbelievable! I just read the updated story on the SJ website. The guy that has been accused of this crime looks like a teenager. A scary looking teenager.

  17. jarheaddoc said,

    Jesus, Linda, I thought he meant Roxbury, ME, too!

  18. Linda said,

    I’m telling you, to grow up in Oxford County is to look over your shoulder for the rest of your life. 🙂

  19. LaFlamme said,

    I didn’t even know there WAS a Roxbury, Maine. Honest.

  20. Linda said,

    Right. My point almost exactly …

  21. LaFlamme said,

    Where the hell is it, anyway?

  22. AO said,

    I remember when I found out that there was a Detroit, Maine. I was on my way to visit a friend in Brewer when I saw a sign for Detroit, Maine. I never knew it existed. I have heard of Roxbury.

  23. Linda said,

    Roughly between Mexico and Rangely only closer to Mexico. Or (other side of hte river) sort of between Rumford and Andover. OK?

  24. Linda said,

    Well that may be revisionist geography. Lets just say you won’t stumble across it by accident

  25. LaFlamme said,

    I think Detroit, Maine is what J. Geils was talking about when he rocked out to “Detroit Breakdown.”

  26. AO said,

    Yeah, that’s what I’ve heard. 🙂

  27. LaFlamme said,

    Not to mention, “Ain’t Nothing but a Party.”

  28. Mainetarr said,

    Detroit Rock City, by KISS was about Detroit Maine. LOL

  29. AO said,

    I think he’s referring to “Hard Drivin’ Man” by J. Geils. KISS did a song about Detroit, Maine? Huh. Who’d a thunk it?

  30. Linda said,

    Mark, I can’t complain that you never heard of Roxbury, when I’d never heard of Detroit. Had to look it up.

  31. LaFlamme said,

    And when Journey did “Don’t Stop Believing,” in the line “just a city boy. Born and raised in south Detroit…” they were talking about the Maine burg.

  32. Mainetarr said,

    I was kidding AO, and I knew he was talking about J Geils. I was only kidding about KISS, I was just naming off songs with Detroit in the title.

  33. Dave said,

    This is a fascinating, yet bizarre story. Hope Mark is hot on the trail to mapping this out.

    Roxbury isn’t really anyplace near Newry. Newry is next to Bethel, Hanover, and not too far from Andover.

  34. AO said,

    Okay, I get it. What do I know about KISS anyway? Ha. Well, except for the fact that they were HUGE when I was a mere teen and…they wore all that makeup. I swear, I couldn’t name one KISS song if my life depended on it.

  35. LaFlamme said,

    You gotta be kidding me.

  36. Dave said,

    Living a sheltered life, huh AO?

    Never heard of:

    “Love Gun”
    “Rock and Roll All Night” (and party everyday)
    “Cold Gin Time”


  37. LaFlamme said,

    Hard Luck Woman?

  38. AO said,

    I wasn’t a KISS fan. But, yeah, Dave, “Rock and Roll All Night”. I remember that one. Ha. But, something about that “Beth” song…gack…

    I was more into Fleetwood Mac, Boston, JT, The Who, The Beatles, CSNY…

  39. Linda said,

    Me too, AO.

    Dave, the whole Roxbury thing was a misunderstanding. He meant Roxbury MA.

  40. Dave said,

    I wasn’t a huge fan either, but it was pretty hard to avoid them.

    I think I’ve heard the Fleetwood Mac “Rumours” Album, and Boston’s first album a million times… great on the eight track. Oh, found memories of the eight-track stereo system I installed in the parents slant six Dodge Dart.. It had great air vents that would fit a six-pack or more of beer in them. From October through March or so, as good as a cooler.

  41. Linda said,

    Didn’t it freeze, or did you not give it the chance? We used to move a big cooler from the kitchen to the porch, trying to keep the beer cold but not frozen. Gave us something do besides drink, play cards, and mangle the words and chords to old songs

  42. Dave said,

    Tried not to allow that to happen – but December thru March was sketchy. I’m not sure how windchill effects beer, but they certainly stayed cold in the air vents.

  43. AO said,

    I have a really bad memory of eight track players. One of my good friends always played Eric Carmen on her’s. Talk about your bad memories!

  44. Linda said,

    I can see where that would be bad. But — oh never mind 🙂

  45. Linda said,

    Stickytown. Know where that is, Dave? That’s where we used to try not to freeze the beer. And with pretty good success too.

  46. AO said,

    And, to top it off, no cold beers in the air vents to help drown out the drivel!

  47. LaFlamme said,

    Ah, eight tracks sucked. The only 8-track I ever had was J. Geils, in fact.

  48. Dave said,

    Stickytown? Nope. Don’t know about that.

    C’mon Mark, you didn’t have BTO’s 4 wheel drive 8 track?

  49. Mainetarr said,

    Yeah, yeah, AO, I know, Beth sucks and who cares, right?

  50. jarheaddoc said,

    Only 8 track I can recall had something by Bony M singing about the rivers of babylon

    And ‘Beth’ did not suck.

  51. Linda said,

    Boney M — did they sing their stuff or just lip-synch?

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