Chronic four twenty

November 24, 2006 at 1:53 am (Uncategorized)

Ah, weed. It’s been so long since I resided in the pot milieu, I’ve forgotten most of the cultural nuance. Back then, if you wanted a doobie, you’d hunt down any of a number of people who always had some on hand. Many of these people were 35-year-old guys who still lived with their moms. Others were teenagers who stayed in school only because most of their clientele was there.

As I remember it, you could do one of several things. You could simply buy a joint and complaint if the tightwad rolled something not adequate to pick your teeth with. “Hey, what’s with the pinrod?” You’d ejaculate. “Roll me one of them fatties you’re always rolling for Clyde!”

Or you could buy a joint and smoke it with him but only if he filled his bowl a few times and smoked that with you. We called that matching. Or you could buy a nickel or dime bag, roll your own damn doobs and sell off some of the product. Or you could trade that really cool roach clip you got at the Skowhegan Fair for that half smoked rod he had in his ash tray. Or you could split your six pack with him if he smoked bowls full with you until all the beer was gone. Or you could have a really bad experience with the shit, shrink significantly and swear of Mary Jane altogether. You could turn to booze exclusively. The bartering system isn’t so cool, but the product can be had on any city block and you don’t have to know calculus to buy it.

And that’s that. One piss poor and very long segue. And here’s a story about the most gigantahuge pinhole burns in the recorded history of pot.

AMSTERDAM, Netherlands (Reuters) — A plan to roll and smoke the world’s largest joint was cancelled at short notice in Amsterdam when the organizers realized they could be breaking the law.

“We have now read the small print and realize there could be problems,” Thijs Verheij, one of the organizers, was quoted as saying by ANP news agency after consulting Dutch drugs laws.

The group had wanted to roll a 1.5-meter long pure-weed joint, stuffed with 500 grams of marijuana and containing no tobacco, and smoke it in a bar. It had initially thought the attempt would be legal if 100 people each brought along the five grams of the drug tolerated by Dutch authorities for personal use.

“Unfortunately it looks like this will not be possible,” Verheij said. The attempt had been planned for Wednesday.

A police spokesman said: “We would definitely have investigated this. If you make a single joint with half a kilo of cannabis in it, it would cross the line.”

Verheij said the group had hoped to beat a record set with a joint containing 100 grams of marijuana.